Age Difference

The_Elfman · 21-07-06 22:35:51

We have touched on this briefly once or twice but a couple of things have made me think about it this week. One is Greta's lucubrations submission where she talks about most of her realtionships being with much older men.

Have any of you had a relationship with someone considerably older or younger than you and what were your experiences?

Elfman.

HiFlyer601 · 21-07-06 22:54:43

My wife of 21 years is 20 years my junior. We dated when she was 25.

In my "other" life, I've had greater age differences and found no problem. The younger the woman, however, the less likely she is to know what she wants and how to get there. She needs instruction and patience.

Mature women have alot fo that all worked out. I'm very good at following their directions <smile>

greycat · 22-07-06 06:07:37

when I was about 25, spent maybe a year with a woman about 8 years older than I was. age did not really matter, except that I was pretty amazed. she was extremely smart, and beautiful, and very reserved and shy. it was great. I am a bit wistful that jobs, etc., moved us apart and I did not follow her. I have a relative whose wife is 20 years older than he is, they've been married 25 years. it has worked for them.

Cate · 23-07-06 14:33:50

I have developed a strong attraction to older men but as many of them are in positions of authority over me (eg lecturer's) so it's probably more of a power thing. I've never actually slept with a much older man at the moment it's just limited to fantasies of being fucked over desks or against fumes cabinets.

The_Elfman · 24-07-06 22:30:01

I once had a three year relationship with a woman ten years older than me. I was in my late twenties at the time.

What I was asking about though was a major age difference. Say 20 years or more. Or perhaps someone twice/half your age.

Elfman.

Last edited by The_Elfman (24-07-06 22:31:05)

nibbler · 26-07-06 10:45:53

A little while ago, a girl in her late teens (that makes her more than 20 yrs my junior) had a short fling with me. She loved to blow me and i loved her to sit on my mouth. She wanted to remain a virgin.. which she did.

While it lasted, it was awesome.

gala · 30-07-06 18:01:26

i've had several relationships with men who were quite a bit older than myself (a range of 15-35 years' difference. all of them had other taboos attached to them as well - employers, doctors, married, etc. i tend not to really psychoanalyze it - i think i've really benefitted from it and i don't regret it, though some of it might not have been healthy for me in the short-term. i enjoy the opportunity to be let into a life that is so completely different from my own. i think it gives me a bit more of an understanding about what the expectations are for middle-aged men in american culture, at least, and i can see that it's really not all it's cracked up to be - it doesn't seem to leave a whole lot of room for self-actualization and self-indulgence. at least it didn't for the people i dated.

i also feel like i provided a way for these people to get what they needed in situations where they felt they couldn't get it. i'm always really interested in those kinds of exchanges and how people meet their needs especially while also stepping over boundaries right and left.

as a young girl, part of what i dug about older men was the idea of being desired by someone who surely must have had enough experience to know what made a really great woman. as i got older i learned it to be bullshit, but it was a nice experience to feel that way when you're young and awkward and learning. i've known a few other women my age who have had similar experiences and i'm always impressed with the things they learn and the way they experience themselves. i think experimenting with older partners can sometimes be a total kamikaze mission, but the truth is that you never know what people's issues and backgrounds and desires are, and sometimes that can be carried out in a really healthy and mutually-beneficial way.

i'm still occasionally attracted to older men, ususal who are in a position of "authority" to me, and in general i tend to like those with whom i can flirt with boundaries and taboos. good times.

The_Elfman · 30-07-06 18:57:27

Thank you for that gala. Now we’re getting somewhere. I’m glad that your relationships with older men were rewarding for you. May I ask you to expand on what the greater benefits of having a much older lover are in your opinion?. Is it greater sexual experience, more self-confidence or just more maturity? What are the major drawbacks do you think? I suppose that “complications” (possible wives and families) must be one of them.

Elfman

Siobhan · 06-09-06 08:45:47

i'm bumping this up because it's so good.

distantadmirer · 08-09-06 04:30:36

Well, Umh, er, what about older men who aren't in a position of authority? And Umh,as a Kamikaze, where do you like to make your one point landing on an older man?

gala · 09-09-06 05:41:53

The_Elfman wrote:

May I ask you to expand on what the greater benefits of having a much older lover are in your opinion?. Is it greater sexual experience, more self-confidence or just more maturity? What are the major drawbacks do you think?
Elfman

as far as sex is concerned, i don't suppose that age necessarily makes anyone a better fuck. if you've been a poor lover your whole life, you'll probably be a poor lover to a younger partner if s/he comes along. some folks never get the swing of things. but at least someone who has some life experience has had the time to work out some of the bugs in her/his sexual system. i had one partner in particular who was relatively communicative about sex and who i think was a good person to introduce me to some aspects of my sexuality. i also had one who seemed to have a really deep passion for sex, on a level i have not yet seen in another partner. i would actually like the opportunity to fuck him again because i have a great deal more experience and more appreciation for sex since we were together. i think we'd be a much better match now. so yes, i guess experience can be part of the appeal. and just a general sense that the other person knows exactly what they want.

at the same time, it can be nice to feel as if you are going on more of an exploration with someone, which is a benefit of having someone who is less experienced. i think it's nice to have a little of both. another drawback can be narrow-mindedness or a lack of openness...if you've been doing something for a very long time it can be difficult to switch up the routine. and of course having a partner who is involved in other relationships can be really difficult to balance and keep in perspective. it can be gut-wrenching, but it can also add to the appeal of sex with that person. the whole wanting-what-you-can't-have-and-then-getting-it-only-not-always-when-you-want-it-most type thing.

taboo + good fuck = !

distantadmirer · 09-09-06 06:07:08

I have run across a dating site called Agematch.com. They have a blurb about older women/younger men, younger women/older men. They do not have a mission statement, and to connect with anyone of course you have to cough up and pay. But just more food for though and a harmless click to scope them out.

stammering · 09-09-06 07:11:21

Well I'm a much older man, but I feel like I have been one all my life, so I have never had a much younger lover. I do know women though who have much younger lovers and one of them is married to an older man. It's all very open and I am a bit dumbfounded by that. Mind you I have been found dumb before so not a new experience there. Back to the subject. It seems that the older women (the ones I refer to here) find their young lovers have got more stamina, stronger longer lasting erections, and an ability to do repeat performances after a short time. That's their story anyway. I personally doubt that there are too many men who can do repeat performances within twelve hours. As a matter of opinion I am not enthusiastic about "fuck buddy" relationships. But that might be because I'm jealous.

distantadmirer · 09-09-06 07:45:08

I could never keep up with an older woman of high libido, even when I was a kid. Some reading that I have done suggests to me that a woman's needs increase as she ages and that a man's ability to meet those needs diminishes as he ages. Well, dosen't everything else suck too?

I am a 56 yr old man. I find that I can please a woman in several ways.
1) Obviously, with my informed tongue and fingers.
2) My sexual rythmes seem to happen upon my sleeping and waking. If I snooze in and out of sleep I most always awake (maybe at 3 in the AM with
a hard-on and my cock stays happy no matter how hard she fucks me after she has made mount on me. It can go on till dawn. Don't count a man out before you understand his sleep rythms.
3) Young women make me feel my mortality more than I want to. Older woman make me regain the silly notion that life begins at forty.

stammering · 09-09-06 10:14:08

I'm very jealous.

Dynamo · 05-10-06 15:25:39

I love women of all ages and have been with women 20 or more years each side of my own age at some point in my life or another, (always legally I hasten to add. ) and I have to say I have no preference either way. Every lady is different. Some younger ones have been very sexually naive and older ones have been very experienced, but I also have found the opposite to be true where an older woman has only had one partner and he's been a selfish git, or a younger lass who has been through the local rugby, football and cricket teams and all the board members to boot.

I just love women me, of all shapes and sizes and ages.

Cheers. Dynamo.

polarchill · 06-10-06 07:58:37

The_Elfman wrote:

We have touched on this briefly once or twice but a couple of things have made me think about it this week. One is Greta's lucubrations submission where she talks about most of her realtionships being with much older men.
Have any of you had a relationship with someone considerably older or younger than you and what were your experiences?
Elfman.

My current partner is 14 years older than me. When I was 27 years old (a while back *cough*), I was living with a woman who was 54. For some reason, older women have always seemed to be drawn to me (and vice versa).

At the other end of the spectrum, when I was 22 I was briefly involved with a 16 year old (I figured I wasn't exactly stealing her innocence, since she had a two-year old child). In general, though, most of the women I've had casual/brief relationships with have been about my age.

I never really gave the matter much thought at the time, but looking back I've decided that the healthiest thing for any man or woman is to get a wide range of experience while you're young and fit (carefully, of course). You learn a lot about yourself, a lot about your partners and potential partners, and have a great deal of fun that you otherwise would have missed out on.
--
Polarchill

#1 21-07-06 22:35:51

Age Difference

#2 21-07-06 22:54:43

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#3 22-07-06 06:07:37

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#4 23-07-06 14:33:50

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#5 24-07-06 22:30:01

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#6 26-07-06 10:45:53

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#7 30-07-06 18:01:26

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#8 30-07-06 18:57:27

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#9 06-09-06 08:45:47

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#10 08-09-06 04:30:36

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#11 09-09-06 05:41:53

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#12 09-09-06 06:07:08

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#13 09-09-06 07:11:21

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#14 09-09-06 07:45:08

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#15 09-09-06 10:14:08

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#16 05-10-06 15:25:39

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#17 06-10-06 07:58:37

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