Objectification

blissed · 02-09-11 22:14:50

I think people use the word Objectivify in the context of sex when they mean selfish. Art is full of objects of great value and significance, that title goes to wedding rings and religious symbols and sacred sites are all objects of great significance, None of them are as valuable as the hotness of a person, even if you don't know them but would like too. That's what has sustained our species for millions of years. So applying the notion of objectification to everyones desires really asumes everyone is as bad as the very worst selfish inconsiderate people around. I rather hope as the emotional complexity of sex is appreciated we can eventually leave that aweful word behind and talk about mutual respect of sexuality as a lovely part of who someone is, even if we don't know them but think they're hot. https://nakedmenhappywomen.wordpress.co … are-horny/

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Last edited by blissed (03-09-11 00:19:33)

Lustful · 25-09-11 10:19:27

I think objectification of women is often viewed negatively because the observer who does the objectifying is not seeing the full person. Maybe they are not really seeing the person at all--just the shape of their body or whatever, an attraction to the physical only.

Some women like to be objectified and some hate it. Everyone likes to be thought of as attractive. It can become a little confusing to separate those lines sometimes. Certainly, liking someone foremost for their body or overall attractiveness is not the same as dealing with the real person. Ask some of my friends who fell for a "hot" lady and then couldn't deal with her personality.

blissed · 26-09-11 00:18:34

Any atribute a person has belongs to a person. When we say "Wow you have a lovely siniging voice" how many people respond "I'm a person I have inteligence and feelings and yet all you can say is I have a lovely singing voice? you disgust me" That would be mad wouldn't it

Doesn't that reveal a society that has a fearful negative and fundamentally pathalogicall relationship to sex, that can terribly damage people into making such a response? Where sexuality is so disrespected that someones hotness is seperated from them and associated with disrespect and selfishness and not naturally associated with the truth, that it's a beaiutiful, wonderful and amazing part of who we are. Without it our parents would have just been wonderful friends and wouldn't have fucked each other and so wouldn't have expressed that friendship and love by fucking specifically to produce us.

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Last edited by blissed (26-09-11 00:39:57)

Lustful · 26-09-11 00:50:30

There are a few people who think like what you described in your example. I know I've met a few in my lifetime. I don't know how genuine they were in their prattling about being offended by a particular compliment that didn't include other attributes they wished people would compliment more. I always thought that was a little immature of some to want particular compliments from people.

Maybe the culture of political correctness and various ideological movements have shaped what many people believe they should be complimented about.

I knew some women who here highly sexual and didn't do much to hide that fact. They would be offended if a person didn't mention their "personality" when commenting about what made them alluring. Yet, they were extremely quick to the bedroom with a new man and didn't care about it initially.

I guess it's an issue of self-identification and labeling. Sometimes describing a person as "hot" gets a little old because it's a coined term now in pop culture vernacular. Sometimes, I do get tired of hearing it myself, though I also use the term once in a while!

Nice play on words in your little joke! It doesn't bother me at all if a person expresses a liking for my physical attributes. I like it, actually. I don't worry about the person not seeing me as a whole human being.

Last edited by Lustful (26-09-11 01:30:07)

viva · 26-09-11 01:16:07

There's a difference between saying "You have nice tits." and saying, "You are a pair of nice tits."

blissed · 26-09-11 02:01:22

Yeah if that's the 1st thing someone says to you. But couldn't "you have a great singing voice" be the 1st thing someone says to us and we'd be fine with it, Or "I love your Afro" or "I love your tattoo" I'm obvioisly not saying we should ignore rape, sexual abuse and sexual harressment and selfish sexual advances. just quantifying how danaging all that is, and I'm postulating a posible future universe without all that, I know. But if we could say "I love your boobs" as easily as "I love your tattoo" as a few people have said in IFM videos wouldn't that be lovely. In society in general we can make the asumption thst a compliment of a tatoo allows us to respectfully own it, but not a wonderful part of our bodies. or genrally anything sexual about us. Just hopefully making an observation really. We should always defer to what other people are comfortable with.

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Last edited by blissed (26-09-11 02:20:44)

viva · 26-09-11 02:20:41

I think the reason that kind of thing is awkward is because generally when someone compliments a part of your body commonly accepted as sexual, it means that they've checked out those parts of your body and generally that feels like they're sizing you up and eroticiscing your features. When my girlfriends tell me I've got beautiful breasts I say, "aww thanks darlin!" - where as when I go out and a male heterosexual friend says to me, "wow, great tits, you should wear shirts that show them off more often" ... I feel flattered but a bit uncomfortable - I'm not showing them off really, anymore than I show off my hair when I don't wear a hat, or showing off my toes when I go barefoot. Am I?

Also his eyes are generally stuck to my cleavage in that case. And it becomes more difficult to talk to him about things that aren't my tits. and I get bored then too.

blissed · 26-09-11 03:28:27

We check things out and size them up before we steal/hunt them. Isn't it the social assumption and so the social requirement that men hunt women that's the problem? In that asumption theres no place for female desire or even female sexual dominance. When in reality both of those exist independantly.

The social assumption and expectation that he is hunting you makes the asumpton that his compliment is a form of sexual advance and gives him the licence to not bother to show constraint. Which comes back to Lustfuls very good point in another thread about freedom sometimes depending on consttraint

Even a female friend who's sapphic is going to be more tactful because she has boobs herself. Say at 3 in the morning at yours "You know you have the most gorgeous breasts, I'm jealous " Theres no assumption of hunting just a nice compliment that gives you the space to enjoy it,

And that's the point really the hunting mentality is just way too much pressure and doesn;t allow you to express your desire and compliment him if you want to, lest it be taken as an invitation that he can immediately jump your bones Sexually admiring each other and lettiing compliments flow from that admiration allows space for expressions of mutual desire and awareness of it, and so the polite good karma awarenes of when it's not mutual and in that safe space of mutual undrstanding you can enjoy a nice sexual compliment and enjoy giving them. I hope this makes sense as it's way passed my bedtime ha ha I'll find out when I read it in the morning

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#1 02-09-11 22:14:50

Objectification

#2 25-09-11 10:19:27

Re: Objectification

#3 26-09-11 00:18:34

Re: Objectification

#4 26-09-11 00:50:30

Re: Objectification

#5 26-09-11 01:16:07

Re: Objectification

#6 26-09-11 02:01:22

Re: Objectification

#7 26-09-11 02:20:41

Re: Objectification

#8 26-09-11 03:28:27

Re: Objectification

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