Types of Orgasms

moldenke · 13-09-11 05:09:41

I've been thinking about this for a while, and I figure now's the time to ask: do you folks agree that there are very distinct kinds of orgasms--and if so, how would you describe these differences?

Obviously in asking this question, my answer is that yes, there are a few different kinds. I'm hoping that there are more that I haven't yet experienced, but for fun, I'll go through the ones that I have. My answer is very long, so feel free to skip what I write and just respond to those questions, yourself. I'll be disappointed, but not offended. I promise.

First, something pretty funny: I didn't actually have an orgasm doing this, but once I sat on the sofa reading barefoot and started stroking the bottom of one of my feet with my fingernail. It was such a weird and awesome sexual experience. I had no idea that I could experience something that sexual through my foot. Unfortunately, my roommate came in, so I couldn't take it further. And later attempts have failed to be as exciting and significant. But I thought it was hilarious because I was so sure that I could've gotten to orgasm if I'd had more time, and I described it to myself as, "the closest I've ever come to a female orgasm." I have no way of knowing if that's true or not, but it made my whole body feel light and lovely; it really sent these kind of whimsical shivers everywhere. So, I guess that's the first type I've experienced, even though I really haven't.

I guess the next one I'll talk about is much less interesting: the kind I've sadly had the most; the kind where I guess I'm just objectifying women through porn. I guess I would call this a very shallow kind of orgasm. It's the kind of orgasm where I feel like a caveman and want to get it over with quickly. I don't want to seem like an asshole on these forums, so I don't want to go in too much detail (I recall Richard telling someone in the Intro. thread that none of you really want to hear about people's masturbation habits, and totally agreed with him), but probably everyone knows about these types of orgasms.

They don't really feel all that good. But, they get the job done.

I do have something worthwhile to add to this, though, and even though it probably belongs in the "pansexual" thread, I'll mention it here: I had a moment where I think I understood something blissed was talking about in there, and it was while watching kitkat's "Altruism" video. I actually didn't do anything sexual while watching that video--so you can't call me gross, right now!--but while watching it, I definitely experienced a great pleasure at seeing how happy kitkat was. She so clearly loved having sex with her lover, and I developed an association with that. I can't say that all of these "common" orgasms are exactly like that, but I'd say that a lot of them lean in that direction: that they're "sympathetic" orgasms. I was so happy with how happy she was, that I experienced a lot of pleasure from it. I probably experienced that with her lover, too, though can't remember: I'm sure that I saw how much he was enjoying their experience together and took pleasure from it.

So I guess that "sympathetic" orgasm is type 2.5 for me. Sure--why not?

The third type I've had is one that I probably can't talk about because it was such a surprise to me. Within the past year or so, I was at a poetry reading, and one of my colleagues, before reading a poem, mentioned that the French word for orgasm literally means, "little death." I didn't think too much of that at the time, but I guess it stuck around in my head, because I was thinking about it later while in bed with myself. I thought about the association of death and orgasm. And I thought about it quite deeply: I tried to get myself to experience an orgasm that was in some way a little death. I decided that I would stop worrying about death; that I would force myself to die in my orgasm.

And it is still my most powerful orgasm to date. I really don't know how to describe it other than to say that it was awesome. I guess it's what Hemingway talks about in For Whom the Bell Tolls: in the book Maria talks about how after first having sex with Robert Jordan, the whole world shakes; and I think Robert Jordan talks about how he completely forgets that he will one day die. All I remember was that I forced myself to stop caring that I could die through sex and went for it, and the results were awesome. I can't really categorize it because I can't really describe it, but we'll call that my third type, just for the hell of it.

The last one I want to talk about, though, is the one that got me thinking about the possibility of different types of orgasms. I have to confess something first, though: I know that in another thread I suggested by very trickily omitting details that I've completely gotten over my emotional baggage involved with "penis-in-vagina," but that ain't true. I've gotten over most of it, but not all, as I still haven't had sex with anyone. The phone sex I mentioned is the furthest I've gotten (because even though I've gotten further, the phone sex was way better than anything else), and that's what led me to this new type of orgasm I'm talking about.

I started having phone sex with someone, and it was pretty hard for her at first, because I had a lot of trouble letting go of my inhibitions and finding a connection with her over the phone. She was very patient and awesome with me, though, and we talked about what was up, and at one point I described masturbation/orgasms as being like "going to the bathroom" in that even though it was fun and pleasurable, it was more about getting it over with and getting on with my day. Part of that was because I was frustrated with my virginity and all that bullshit, but it kind of took her by surprise and made her feel a little bit of pity for me. I meant what I said about it being like going to the bathroom, and I thought about her surprise at that, because I wanted to understand. It seemed like the key to having sexual relationships with women, as there's nothing else wrong with me. I'm attractive, fun to hang out with, get along well with women, etc.

I didn't end up coming to any conclusions just from thinking about it. It just wouldn't work that way.

To finally bring this back on topic: even though I couldn't quite understand what she had thought, I eventually experienced what she was talking about. I'm not entirely sure what inhibitions I let go of, but we eventually started having really good sex on the phone. I felt like she was there with me, and she loved what we did together. We had an amazing connection that I didn't realize was possible.

I have two theories about what was going on, there. The first is that I think I finally involved my imagination in my sexuality. I had also experienced this previously while having that "little death" orgasm, but without realizing it. I had for so long "used" porn to masturbate (I know that sounds very gross...) that I didn't understand how to use my imagination instead. In finally learning how to have phone sex, I finally broke the barrier of needing visual stimuli and instead used something much more powerful than my senses: my brain. It's been a while since she and I have been able to talk, so I honestly forget in what ways it was so great, but it was very distinct from anything I had experienced while alone.

Which brings me to my second theory about this: that an orgasm with someone else is totally different from an orgasm alone. I guess I might call it a "purely sexual" orgasm because she lives very far from me and thus I haven't let myself grow any strong emotional attachments to her. It wasn't an emotional orgasm (other than that I felt like she had taught me something I had missed out on my whole life and thus felt very, very important), but rather it was all about the sensations I felt. It was about making myself feel as good as I possibly could: instead of being about visual or auditory stimulation, it was an orgasm exclusively about feeling. That's a much better descriptor than it being purely sexual: it was an orgasm based exclusively on sensations. I worked hard to create amazing sensations in my body while I worked hard to lead her in the same direction. None of the other things that previously aroused me had any importance: it was all about feeling really, really good.

I guess I can't describe the sensation of orgasm, but I can say that it was completely distinct from the others. It was much more satisfying and meaningful in that it wasn't shallow like the more common type of orgasm I described. And actually, the orgasm wasn't all that important: it was not at all about an end point. It was all about continuing the good feelings for as long as I possibly could. I actually didn't want the orgasm to come, because I knew that the amazing sensations would at least temporarily halt then. Simply: she taught me that sex is actually about feeling really, really good, and that experimenting to learn about different things that feel good is tons of fun. She taught me what sex is all about, and I am so completely grateful to her for that.

But that's a little off-topic. Important, but off-topic. So, to recap, I discussed something like 6 different orgasms here:

The silly foot near-orgasm;
The common, shallow, grunting/gross orgasm that requires the "use" of porn;
The "sympathetic" orgasm--or at least sympathetic sexual pleasure;
The "earth-shaking"/"little death" orgasm;
The "imagination" orgasm;
and the "touch/feeling-based" orgasm.

I don't know if they're all different; there's definitely some overlap. But that's a good little summary of everything I talked about.

So: I'm interested to hear what you folks think. There are a lot of smart people who read these forums--people who are much more in touch with their sexuality than I am--so I'm curious about the different kinds of orgasms you've experienced. I especially wonder what I have to look forward to--perhaps someday I'll experience orgasms that are as groundbreaking as my phone sex ones were, and that will change the way I look at them.

And by the way: hi! I guess this thread is my way of introducing myself to the forums, even though not really. I've been joining this website for ages off and on (under this name and some name like "person12man" or "soyman" or something really thoughtless like that) and have posted on the forums before. And more importantly, even though I can't always afford to be a member, I love reading the forum because it's the only place I get to read intelligent discussion of sex. There have been many times when I've wanted to join just to post in threads, but could not afford it. So, I'm very glad to be a member right now. That doesn't mean I'll be posting a lot--if I don't have anything worth saying, I'm not going to say it--but I should say, "Hello," since I'm definitely around. Thanks for reading!

Last edited by moldenke (13-09-11 05:17:36)

viva · 13-09-11 07:06:41

Moldenke, this post just makes me feel really really good! I enjoyed reading it all the way through - while your revelations were interesting, the best part is your unique voice, I just had this impression of you as a really sweet thoughtful person and I was happy the post was so long, for the value of spending time with "you".

So thanks, much, for sharing.

The many types of orgasm thing is interesting - I think many people tend to just say, these are good, these are ok, these are quickies, these are stellar - etc. So rather than assigning types, assigning modifiers to a concept which doesn't essentially change. I am one of these people, I think of an orgasm like a place I can go, a place which changes but always stays the same. Like a personality - I can be affected by a range of input and situations, but ultimately, the thing being affected is still me.

I could make types, I think - the kind that make me laugh, the kind that make me cry, the ones that are over before I seem to get started, the all-day buildup kind, the surprise orgasm... but still variations on a theme for me. I think I like them all, kind of like different candies.

Honestly, I have never experienced an orgasm I would define as other than clitoral - I've never come purely from penetration, or having my nipples touched, or sexual reiki or anything like that. I would very much like to, and I wonder if that sensation, while still orgasmic, would then be a different type of orgasm for me in the way you're describing.

blissed · 13-09-11 20:26:31

Yeah Moldenke I thought that was really good too! About the objectification porn orgasm. I think feeling guilt about this is what's spoiling your experience. A lot of people who appear in porn are aroused by being desired. Being desired is lovely and very arousing . If your exhibitionist, sharing your sexuality and arousing many people who desire you is fabulous. Someones hotness is a part of them, a gift, just like a great singing voice. when we describe someones hotness as an object we detach it from the person and devalue it and your not devaluing it, they're arousing you, and the thoughts about what you'd like to do to them they likely want someone they desire to do to them too. If you respect the people in sexual images there's nothing wrong in desiring them or even better imagining they desire you. In fact I totally agree that any kind of imaging tends to create a better orgasm as your involved rather than a spectator, which unless thats your kink can feel sad and empty. Consequently we never feel sad and empty reading a great book but we're still alone. You should try the 'spent the day writing erotic fiction orgasm! It's brilliant

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ashmedi2 · 13-09-11 21:48:58

viva wrote:

Honestly, I have never experienced an orgasm I would define as other than clitoral - I've never come purely from penetration, or having my nipples touched, or sexual reiki or anything like that. I would very much like to, and I wonder if that sensation, while still orgasmic, would then be a different type of orgasm for me in the way you're describing.

Viva ... I wish I could remember where I saw the web page and cannot remember for the life of me. But the author, and comments appeared to confirm her contentions, indicated that females were capable of 7 distint types of Orgasm, they ranged and were described as clitoral, g-spot, deep penetration, and combo super orgasm when 2 or more occurred at the same time or within seconds of each other..
I remember thinking she was correct, and being very envious of the female capabilities which I always knew were superior, in my mind, to those of the male.
But alas and alack, being a mere male I will never know for sure whether she was right.

She did not claim that one was superior to another, just that they were different with markedly different effects on the female and how she would feel, buth during and after the aftershocks quieted down.

Last edited by ashmedi2 (13-09-11 21:52:17)

moldenke · 14-09-11 05:37:45

Viva: thank you for the compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed spending time with me through my text. And thanks to you, too, Blissed.

I guess maybe I overstated my distaste for that most common of orgasms that I described. I still enjoy them; I still take pleasure from them; but they're just not all that satisfying. And I don't think that I feel guilty about watching porn, other than that I know that I could do so much more for myself. I know that if I were concentrating more on my own pleasure, I could feel better. My imagination is so much more powerful.

Ashmedi: I'd love to see that website if you can ever find it. But either way, that's cool to hear a kind of confirmation of my theory. My types were more broken down into mental categories rather than physical categories, but it's cool to see that other people have thought of different types of orgasms... So Viva, I hope that you one day get to experience those other types that you mention! You'll just have to work hard to make it happen...

#1 13-09-11 05:09:41

Types of Orgasms

#2 13-09-11 07:06:41

Re: Types of Orgasms

#3 13-09-11 20:26:31

Re: Types of Orgasms

#4 13-09-11 21:48:58

Re: Types of Orgasms

#5 14-09-11 05:37:45

Re: Types of Orgasms

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