Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

aven frey · 11-05-11 05:10:54

http://www.scarletroad.com.au/trailer/

carstuff1000 · 11-05-11 06:50:49

Checked out, it is cool. None disabled people pay for sex, so why should'nt disabled or people with learning disabilities pay for sex. Like the video says being touched by another human being is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It is a shame that sex is still a taboo subject in this modern world. Most people do it, but most people don't talk about it. Using myself as an example, I use this site, but no one knows. I would love to tel people about it, but it would cause "problems" Maybe we could have a disabled lady make an IFM video, but I am not sure if that would cause "problems". Hope this post is OK & not too sensitive an issue.

domC · 11-05-11 11:12:39

As a former sex worker who regularly saw disabled clients (some physically disabled, some intellectually disabled, some both) I cannot overstate what an important and valuable role sex workers can play by working with disabled clients (there I go, blowing my own horn). I'm preaching to the converted on a forum like this, but sexuality forms such a huge part of our being and for most people, it is extremely hard and unhealthy to just close that off. I think, particularly with people who have very visible disabilities, it is easy to look at them as asexual, but very confronting to think otherwise. I continue to be heartened when I hear stories about carers who acknowledge that the people in their care need sexual contact and when I was still working, I would have parents drive their sons to see me, drop them off and the front door and wait the allotted time before driving them home. Sex worker advocacy groups periodically run workshops for workers who are interested in working with disabled clients and offer a good deal of support.

With that said, the issue isn't as cut and dry as: guy shows up, spends an hour with a woman and then leaves. Many sex workers will not see disabled clients and there are very valid reasons for that. Seeing clients with intellectual disabilities can be problematic and sometimes dangerous, because there are times when you cannot guarantee that the client understands the boundaries or if the client understands, for example, that what he is doing might be hurting you or putting you at risk. Physical disabilities can be easier to work around, with patience, empathy and a sense of humour - I used to see a client I would massage on the ground. We would lay towels out everywhere. Occasionally he lost control of his bladder, but it was fine, we could laugh about it, he was comfortable being who he was and glad to do something decadent. I've got lots of stories like this, ranging from feeling completely comfortable to once or twice, feeling very uncomfortable and like my safety was at risk. I guess, I worry when I see films like this because it doesn't necessarily portray the nuance and that, at times, working with disabled clients can be fantastic and rewarding, at other times, it can be confronting and difficult.

On the flip side - I've heard of and have experienced a lot of disabled men seeking the services of sex workers, but never women. I don't know what happens with women who have severe disabilities and I'm not trying to turn this into a feminist rant, but it's worth considering - do women with the kinds of disabilities portrayed in this film, where constant care is needed, repress their sexual needs entirely? Does anyone actually have any experience with this?

viva · 12-05-11 01:22:03

The thing that would concern me in the case of intellectual disability, or a physical disability that hinders communication is that very scenario, of a well-meaning caretaker deciding that their charge needs sexual contact and taking them to a sex worker who may or may not be as lovely and understanding as you, DomC.

I want to say that especially in the case of a woman, whose sexuality tends to be more complicated, consent is a huge issue and could change drastically from one moment to the next depending on a million factors. Someone mentally sound would be able to assess their own comfort levels and make a judgement call moment to moment, but somebody whose intellectual universe is unrelatable with the sex workers' could present an issue of ethics.

blissed · 12-05-11 02:11:33

Ooh I agree unrequited love can sometimes drive even the reasonably able minded to suicide.

I have a friend who's now physically challenged. She's well horny but I couldn't imagine her paying for a session with a sex professional. Though if she won it in a competition she definitly would Lol he would have to be hot though.

There is disability fetish porn, I wonder if there's any sex proffesionals who are physically challenged or dating sites to get the desire to the admired. While I'm presently able bodied and priveliged to think the idea tastless, if I had a physical challenge and someone thought I was hot because of that I'd think that was fucking marvelous!! and want to meet them.

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domC · 12-05-11 11:25:38

That's right Viva and those barriers are not necessarily insurmountable, but they are profound and tend to be glossed over when people consider only the surface levels of sex work and disabilities. And it definitely cuts both ways - there are issues for the client as well as the worker. There are questions that I asked myself as a worker about whether a client was actually consenting, what my rights were, what the clients rights were and how do you ever grow comfortable working in a grey area?

A huge skill good sex workers develop is an ability to reasonably predict the outcome of a session and to maintain control in that way - being always one step ahead, maintaining a relatively good idea of how the client is going to respond to what you do and how the session is going to pan out. Most sex workers are extremely good at thinking on their feet, but spontaneous events happen far less frequently in a session than most people might imagine. Client reactions are generally within a spectrum that you, as a worker, can anticipate. You lose a lot of that when you are working with disabled clients - particularly if you are seeing someone who is not a regular client (this film, from what I can see, explores the relationship between a worker and her regular clients with disabilities). All of this can be a lot to handle - definitely no small task. I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about all of it either (clearly). I definitely mostly enjoyed seeing disabled clients and felt that they got a lot out of the sessions, but there is always an uneasiness when you see someone who is under constant care.

Blissed - speaking of uneasiness, disability fetishism makes me mildly uncomfortable for an armful of mostly irrational reasons. Have you read JG Ballard's Crash or seen the film version of it? There's some disability fetishism in that which gets me hot under the collar. If your friend is ever interested, many female sex workers love seeing female clients (I definitely did) and it can be a really non-confronting way to have some sexual contact, if she is that way inclined. Erotic massage/rub'n'tugs are particularly good because the client can be completely passive and the service is fairly controlled.

blissed · 12-05-11 20:30:52

If you can provide my friend with 2 emotionally intelligent hunky guys wearing nothing but bow ties, for free, you've probably got a deal

I was happy to use the word disabled as it replaced cripple but since I saw the TED talk by double amputee Aimee Mullins I prefer to use physically challenged because she's overcome her challenges. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTwXeZ4GkzI

Just saw the trailer for Crash it looks like the melodramatic acting at the end of neighbours but all the way through!! I might be wrong but I can't imagine any sexual theme being handled well in that movie. or most hollywood movies (apart from Team America I think most hollywood movies are dreadful

Anyway Fetish is just something that arouses us, it's lust and lust isn't evil if we respect other people.
So with the concept of disability out of the way a physical challenge can be anything from slightly overweight, following a gradient all the way to quadriplegic. Overweight to one person is beautiful to someone else, and you can follow that principle with virtually any physical state.
This is a clip about Alison Lapper who featured as the subject of a sculpture in Trafalgar square. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmVW9VoEr6g If you fell in love with Alison seeing passed her physical challenge, I can almost guarantee after a while your libido would include all of her in it's arousal. Or you could date Alison because you already find the way she is attractive. That gives her a sexual equality with other physical appearances and states.

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Last edited by blissed (12-05-11 23:15:54)

xxEPxx · 12-05-11 23:17:07

Different strokes for different folks, and if someone prefers "physically challenged" to "disabled" then that's entirely their prerogative, but I personally don't like that term. If someone referred to me as that in my daily life, I would feel compelled to say to them, no please call me disabled - it's a lesser of two evils for me. I get the logic behind this newer term - indeed, in every aspect of living, there are physical challengers that I am simply unable to meet or overcome, but I'm not comfortable with that phrase.

xxEPxx

Last edited by xxEPxx (12-05-11 23:18:02)

blissed · 13-05-11 00:11:55

That's interesting. That's your right to prefer disabled. My friend doesn't prefer the term, My inspiration for physically challenged comes from how strongly Aimee Mullins felt about the term disabled in her TED talk that I linked to above. You don't have to watch it but she does explain it better than me. My friend has never given a generic term to her physical state like disabled she's just described it precisely. and I prefer that than to use generic terms to describe people. The problem with gereric terms is we all have impairments and there's a difuse blur from slight to more serious across the population rather than a neat line with impairment on one side and perfection on the other. Yeah I think it's best to keep gereric terms to a minimum and have a choice of words the people who are being described are happy with.

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xxEPxx · 13-05-11 00:27:15

blissed wrote:

My friend has never given a generic term to her physical state like disabled she's just described it precisely. and I prefer that than to use generic terms to describe people.

Oh, exactly. I don't think I ever use even the term disabled unless it is connected to a medical situation or having to state my physical condition. My limitations (actually, physically limited isn't so bad) stem from long-term illness, rather than something I was born with or a serious accident, so it will very different for so many people. I certainly don't take offence at any of them, we just all have preferences and I absolutely agree over the ineffectiveness of catch-all terms to describe everyone and anyone who has some kind of disability.

xxEPxx

domC · 13-05-11 11:12:29

On language:
I am happy to call individuals whatever they prefer, but lean towards disabled. I understand the etymology, but I think that terms like "differently able" or "physically challenged" sound patronising in an entirely different, saccharine way and can sometimes be insincere and more about the people who are naming others than the people that name applies to.

Blissed - that clip of Alison Lapper is incredible. The look on the guy's face as she's trying to figure out how to pick up a baby - just utter confusion and concern - was pretty incredible. Her tenaciousness is fantastic. Also - that post that's running at the moment about sculptures of the female form: the sculpture of Alison is perfect, I'd never heard about it before, but erecting that is the most affirming and wonderful thing I have seen in quite a while. Thanks for sharing that.

Also, the film version of Crash is definitely, at times, pretty ham-fisted, which is a shame, because I usually really like Cronenberg's films and he usually does body-horror (which is Crash all over) pretty well. It wasn't really a "Hollywood" movie, though - most of Cronenberg's films are cult-classics - and it deals with some sexual themes that I haven't seen in any other films outside of porn. Anyhow, not for everyone, but I found it interesting.

blissed · 14-05-11 16:45:22

Yeah I loved the sculpture of Alision.

dom I just had a thought about the middle class reluctance to pay for sex because it indicates you can't get any sex without paying. Oh the shame and injury to ones self asteem. Other English ethnic groups like Saxon Celtic (miss named working class) have very few worries. neither have aristocrats and it's just as daft as saying if someone sees a therapist or councilor they must have no close friends to confide in.

I spend more time taking the piss out of movies than I do watching them. You so often get the guy coverd in battle dirt with machine gun in hand saying in husky whispered tones

"your either with us or against us, you decide, cuz from now on if I see you up on that ridge...(puts on sunglasses)........ your a dead man" said by someone who gets a stunt double to even ride a bicycle cuz their hair is insured for 10 million dollars

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Last edited by blissed (14-05-11 17:28:37)

#1 11-05-11 05:10:54

Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#2 11-05-11 06:50:49

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#3 11-05-11 11:12:39

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#4 12-05-11 01:22:03

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#5 12-05-11 02:11:33

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#6 12-05-11 11:25:38

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#7 12-05-11 20:30:52

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#8 12-05-11 23:17:07

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#9 13-05-11 00:11:55

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#10 13-05-11 00:27:15

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#11 13-05-11 11:12:29

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

#12 14-05-11 16:45:22

Re: Scarlet Road - this looks cool.

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