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Whilst searching for new ways to describe our favorite topic today, I stumbled across thesaurus.com's short list of synonyms for masturbation. They are as follows:
Main Entry: masturbation
Part of Speech: noun
Synonyms: autoeroticism, malthusianism, onanism, self-abuse, self-pollution
I found this so interesting (and pretty funny) as theoretically a thesaurus is meant to be non-judgmental. The final two terms, however, definitely take a decisive slant vis-a-vis the compilers' opinion on masturbation. Really, self-abuse I've heard before, but as nasty as that term is - self-pollution? The act of degrading your own environment? Is that what I do to myself, is that what makes me smile in the morning and fall asleep like a baby?
I didn't recognize the term "malthusianism", so I looked it up.
Malthusianism
— n
1. Malthus' theory that population increase would outpace increases in the means of subsistence
... okay. A theory by an economist, don't really make the connection with rubbing one out. So, one more try, as an adjective:
Malthusian
— adj
1. of or relating to the theory of Malthus stating that increases in population tend to exceed increases in the means of subsistence and that therefore sexual restraint should be exercised
Aha. A term which refers to an economist's theory that we should stop fucking (heterosexually at very least) and somehow, according to thesaurus.com, permits us therefore to masturbate. Though only through our world citizens' responsibility to feed the already plentiful children.
We are on a roll. Autoeroticism is a cut-and-dry term derived from Latin, straightforwardly descriptive and therefore unfraught with the associations of the others.
The only other word left also stood out to me, however - 'onanism', which I'd heard before, but never liked so never really explored. I got to wondering why that word exists and quickly discovered its biblical implications. Onan, it turns out, was a wicked man, who, in fact, was disposed of before his time by Yahweh on account of his wickedness. His sin? The spilling on the ground of his seed, which was intended to impregnate his dead brother's childless wife.
In fact, he pulled out at the point of orgasm several times, as if to make a point of it.
So, we have masturbation as a pale second to actual intercourse (forbidden on account of overpopulation), masturbation as an evil denial of God's will, and masturbation as an act of self-inflicted abuse or defilement.
Wow.
Kind of takes the fun out of feeling dirty.
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No mention of pleasure, or anything positive is there?!
Very telling.
xxEPxx
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I knwo, it's really strange. I know that masturbation has negative connotation, but I feel like they are really old-fashioned and that synonyms like "self-abuse" have no place in an online thesaurus. It's as if that were more acceptable, and less "slang", than terms like wank or jack-off etc.
weird.
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Check the publishing house.. methinks it's owned by a (repressed) Christian or maybe even the Catholic Church? Perhaps they should add, 'saviour of priests' just for a laugh. Hey, we could even call it 'jesus'. (No offense intended, that's just my very black sense of humour). Ok, I'm going to add some of my own suggestions that have expansive and wonderful connotations - self pleasure, self love, autonomous sex, ones' daily duty, sexual meditation, delightful digital dexterity.. ok, now I'm just being silly
Sad though that the connotations that they came up with were largely negative - says a lot about the state of the world. I have a friend in Malaysia whose personal mantra is; "Masturbation is better than meditation, and one should practice every day." He's a hindu I have to say, I agree with him.
I like it. I like it a lot. I like it a lot and then sometimes not.
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