To kiss or not to kiss.

whitegzero · 05-10-09 09:18:21

Hello once again. So as always my friends and I were talking and this time we were talking about when to kiss a girl. So my question is when? How long should a guy know a girl before kissing her and what signs will be most prominent? My friend said her boyfriend took all day and finally kissed her (before they were dating) and she said, “What took you so long?” and he said, “I didn’t know if I should and you didn’t give me any signs.” Her response to that was, “I came on the date with you didn’t I?” So what do you think about this. Is there any way to calculate when an appropriate time would be or is it all about “feeling”. Also if you take too long will the girl just consider you a friend and not want to kiss or do anything else after some time? My friends have their ideas, but I am curious to know yours. Please get back to me with stories, experiences, or just some knowledge you have on the topic. Thanks and have a great day!

Garret

blissed · 05-10-09 12:51:09

If your on a a date just ask her when she thinks it's appropriate for 2 people on a date to start kissing each other. If she says not yet say "could you give me some idea then, is it in half and hour? or 2 hours? I think we really need to get his sorted before we go any further."

whitegzero · 05-10-09 22:31:19

Hahaha...ok that's a new idea. Sounds fun and the honesty is a plus.

blissed · 05-10-09 23:44:21

whitegzero I take most of my courting advice from James bond (Sean Connery) stick with me and you can't go wrong.

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hyperballad · 06-10-09 00:13:14

I find this entire subject kinda cute, because if I want to kiss someone, I certainly do not wait for them to do it.

Although I have been accused of being forward before now.

I always found it very sweet when a guy or girl has asked "can I kiss you" so maybe roll with that one.

whitegzero · 06-10-09 00:14:42

Brilliant!!! Why didn’t' I think of that?! A man must look up to the greatest of all men in order to become better than he is...it makes so much sense now.

whitegzero · 06-10-09 00:16:57

To hyperballad:

I like this and it has been brought up before and it is indeed one of the ideas I have mulled over. It may be my best option if no one suggests something better.

ngaio · 06-10-09 00:30:15

I've always admired the direct, honest approach - if you're unsure, ask. Guessing games in relationships bug me... too much space left for misunderstandings and assumptions... but I've always been a big talker.

aven frey · 06-10-09 00:36:54

Yeah every person is going to be different but I personally liked to be asked, that's very sweet and I find it very becoming when one is so respectful of my personal space.

hyperballad · 07-10-09 01:54:02

There is always the 'pounce' option. If you're feeling it, just bust a move... It tends to work out for me most of the time, except I'm not sure if that would differ for guys. Apparently I 'get away with' a bunch of stuff my male counterparts would never be able to do. For instance, groping people instead of a formal greeting.

whitegzero · 07-10-09 02:47:31

Yes...well as fun as pouncing sounds (and is) I am afraid it just isn't the kind of thing I could get away with. Maybe I could, but I will hold off on trying it until I am feeling more confident...or slightly drunk…both perhaps.

gala · 08-10-09 00:39:37

Pouncing is aggressive and icky. The first time my partner kissed me he did it pretty much as a pounce, in public. I hate both of these things and I have no idea why I did not just give up right there. 'Misreading' is a recurring theme in our relationship, and it started then.

aven frey · 08-10-09 00:46:02

Yeah I'm not a big fan of the pounce, it scares me and I usually recoil with little control over my facial expression which I imagine could be quite hurtful for the pouncer. I think it's a bit of a romantic idea though and if all the cards are on the table and the signs are so bright against the moonlight it's a valid option but the doom of 'misread' is always a risk.

hyperballad · 08-10-09 00:52:07

Okay maybe pounce is the wrong word, but if I'm 'feeling it' there are times when I've just gone for it. Leaning in for a kiss, to me, isn't aggressive, but that's going to be different for everyone. (The times I've sat on people is a different story all together - that's definitely being way forward and pretty full on)

Every move you make on someone isn't going to be with permission and quite frankly I would find it a real turn off and pretty disturbing if every little bit of intimacy I built with someone, either him/her or I had to check in verbally to make sure it was okay.

blissed · 08-10-09 00:59:47

As a 1st move women can jump your bones with impunity and men can't usually do it back, though for women the embarrassment of rejection is still there :)

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hyperballad · 08-10-09 01:28:59

For the longest time I never did anything that would put me at risk of being rejected - not just in regards to busting moves on the guys and ladies, like in regards to anything in my entire life.

Then one day I decided that even if I was rejected it would be better than missing out of stuff because of being afraid. And yes I know it's hard to believe I was once a shrinking wall flower, but it's the truth.

I have, since then, been rejected many times, over many things (including sexual advances) and to be perfectly honest, it's really not that bad. By putting myself forward like that I'm accepting the risk of rejection and when it does occur, I just think to myself 'oh wells, at least I had a crack' and get on with it.

Last edited by hyperballad (08-10-09 01:29:26)

blissed · 08-10-09 02:05:56

That sounds like a good way to view the possibility of rejection in anything really.

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#1 05-10-09 09:18:21

To kiss or not to kiss.

#2 05-10-09 12:51:09

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

#3 05-10-09 22:31:19

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

#4 05-10-09 23:44:21

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

#5 06-10-09 00:13:14

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

#6 06-10-09 00:14:42

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

#7 06-10-09 00:16:57

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#8 06-10-09 00:30:15

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#9 06-10-09 00:36:54

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#10 07-10-09 01:54:02

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#11 07-10-09 02:47:31

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#12 08-10-09 00:39:37

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#13 08-10-09 00:46:02

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#14 08-10-09 00:52:07

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#15 08-10-09 00:59:47

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#16 08-10-09 01:28:59

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#17 08-10-09 02:05:56

Re: To kiss or not to kiss.

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