#1 24-07-09 19:38:08

ijohnson

Member

Registered: 31-12-07

Posts: 4

I can't climax

OK, not sure quite why I am posting on here with this but need some advice.

I have been married now for 6 years and been with my wife for 9 years and a love here very much but we have a problem with our sex lives.

She does not have a high sex drive and now rarely seems to want to make love. When we do she doesn't often orgasm.

I have always tried to put of my climax until she has climaxed as she is not climaxing I have also begun to have a problem climaxing as I am concentrating to hard on it. So we have ended up in a state where neither of us cums and sex has, for me, become a very stressful activity as I am always worried that she isn't cumming and that I may not cum which of course stops anything happening.

My wife tells me she is not woried about not climaxing but as I say the whole thing is really getting me down and making me avoid sex , its got so bad that I now fail to cum when masturbated, what can I do who can I talk to proffesionally?

BelgianDude

Member

From: Belgium

Registered: 01-07-09

Posts: 61

Website

Re: I can't climax

You might wanna try not to focus on orgasm so much... As soon as there's some sort of pressure on it, it gets more and more difficult until any chance of coming is eventually gone. Try to spend a larger quantity of time just laying nude besides each other, kissing and caressing, not focusing on climax but just fysically loving each other.
I know I'll get my ass kicked for this phrase, but don't worry too much about your wife's orgasm - I've heard plenty girls say they'd rather have good sex without an orgasm then bad sex with.
I had a simular problem when stress from work bummed out my orgasms altogether when I was having sex - for a guy in his early 20s, that's a huge problem. I was stuck with it for half a year when I finally gave in and visited my GP, who in turn, referred me to a psychotherapist.
Of the several exercises I had to do, one helped me an awful lot - during the course of one and a half week, I could do anything with my girlfriend as
I pleased, except intercourse. During that time, I learned so many ways to please and be pleased, me and my girlfriend eventually had orgasm after orgasm, and when the time came to go back to "normal" sex, not only I found I could climax normally again, I also found that my sex life had improved a lot.

I don't know if this advice is of any use to you, but I do hope your problem isn't one of the permanent kind. After al, "sexual health" is "health" too.

---

"Wieda't kleine nie eert, is't gruute nie weert"

blissed

Member

From: The bus station of the future

Registered: 17-03-06

Posts: 5,622

Re: I can't climax

Sorry to hear about your problem. Have you seen your GP (family doctor), as BelgianDude did. These matters come under fertility in England and they'll be able to give you advise on who can help you, though I think your likely to have to pay for counseling.

.

---

(Self made tycoon and independant financial advisor to the stars)