Reading that influenced your sexuality

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 03:47:05

I just viewed Chica's "Higher Sex" lucubration.

I was really touched by many aspects of her self-presentation, and felt a resonance.

So I was very interested in her mention of a meaningful book she'd read. She said the title was "Higher Sex" (used as the title of the video clip).

However, I've searched for a book with this title and have come up blank.

I wonder if anyone can provide a more detailed reference?

I'd LOVE to read a copy of the book that had SUCH an invluence on HER attitudes and thinking about sexuality.

Anyone? Chica (if you're still connected here)?

Last edited by Lassi78T (17-04-09 19:28:25)

Folly · 17-04-09 06:55:55

Hey this is a great post. I'm interested too in any books that have really affected members/contributors sexual journeys. Please share.

chica · 17-04-09 07:13:06

Hi Lassi,

The book that I referred to in my lucubration I randomly found on a friend's bookshelf. This particular friend is a magical witch who lives on a hippy community somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and she probably made the book appear out of thin air. It was quite old from what I remember of it and as you know, it seems it cannot be found on amazon.com or Google!

Unfortunately this friend does not have email or mobile phone reception otherwise I would just drop her a line and ask! I will keep on the case for you though and in the mean time I found a book on amazon that looks quite intriguing:

http://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Sacr … 98&sr=1-15
The erotic awakening massage is what caught my eye.

gala · 17-04-09 08:48:00

Folly wrote:

Hey this is a great post. I'm interested too in any books that have really affected members/contributors sexual journeys. Please share.

Hey that's a great idea actually, I'd love to know this as well. Might Lassi78T be so kind as to re-title this thread to something like 'books that have influenced your sexuality' or something like that, so that people are drawn to share? Or maybe we should start a new thread...either way, I'd be happy to list a few. I mostly read books about sex, and not much else, so I've got plenty to contribute on that topic.

ngaio · 17-04-09 08:55:19

Ooo sounds fantastic! I'll contribute too if I can think of anything!

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 19:21:08

gala wrote:

Folly wrote:
Hey this is a great post. I'm interested too in any books that have really affected members/contributors sexual journeys. Please share.
Hey that's a great idea actually, I'd love to know this as well. Might Lassi78T be so kind as to re-title this thread to something like 'books that have influenced your sexuality' or something like that, so that people are drawn to share? Or maybe we should start a new thread...either way, I'd be happy to list a few. I mostly read books about sex, and not much else, so I've got plenty to contribute on that topic.

LOL! Yes, I might be THAT kind...

And I myself ALSO like the idea of generalizing the discussion in this way...

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 19:32:42

Well, I guess my claim of "kindness" was premature.

I just assumed that as the starter of this topic, I'd be able to edit the topic name.

But I can't seem to determine how to do that...

blissed · 17-04-09 19:37:46

Go to the post you started the topic with and click on edit in the bottom right hand corner of the post.

The page will change and you should see it all appear in the message box as it did when you started the topic, including the title box above waiting for you to change it.

Don't know if this is the book your looking for? http://openlibrary.org/b/OL12212386M/Sacred-Higher-Sex

http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Higher-Med … B000EYKPJ8
.

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 20:47:52

blissed wrote:

Go to the post you started the topic with and click on edit in the bottom right hand corner of the post.
The page will change and you should see it all appear in the message box as it did when you started the topic, including the title box above waiting for you to change it.
.

Blissed, I did try this. I do indeed see the entire message body ready for editing. But I do NOT see the actual TITLE displayed for my editing. Perhaps I'm missing something hilariously OBVIOUS??

Well, anyhow... This is probably rapidly approaching the point where staring a new thread is the easiest...

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 20:51:07

blissed wrote:

Don't know if this is the book your looking for? http://openlibrary.org/b/OL12212386M/Sacred-Higher-Sex
http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Higher-Med … B000EYKPJ8
.

Hmmm... similar enough NAME...

I believe this particular book is pretty contemporary, isn't it? (I believe I've seen it at the bookstore, it turned up on my recent searches, etc.) Doesn't sound like it would be the one Chica mentioned?

But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be worth looking at. I don't believe I myself have looked at this one...

blissed · 17-04-09 21:42:50

Lassi78T wrote:

blissed wrote:
Go to the post you started the topic with and click on edit in the bottom right hand corner of the post.
The page will change and you should see it all appear in the message box as it did when you started the topic, including the title box above waiting for you to change it.
.
Blissed, I did try this. I do indeed see the entire message body ready for editing. But I do NOT see the actual TITLE displayed for my editing. Perhaps I'm missing something hilariously OBVIOUS??
Well, anyhow... This is probably rapidly approaching the point where staring a new thread is the easiest...

Well I can probably see title box due to my special powers just tell me what you want the new title to be and I'll change it.

.

Lassi78T · 17-04-09 22:45:00

blissed wrote:

Well I can probably see title box due to my special powers just tell me what you want the new title to be and I'll change it.
.

Just riffing off of Gala's suggestion, something like "Reading that influenced your sexuality", thank you very much!

ms_eloise · 18-04-09 09:50:56

Books - chronologically (ish)

The Little Red School Book
The Joy of Sex
Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness and Osho on Sex in general
Betty Dodson - Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
Barbara Carrellas - yes Urban Tantra excellent - also check out her audio material - and Annie Sprinkle
Veeresh at the Humaniversity
Vagina Monologes
Dear Lover, Finding God through Sex and more by David Deida
More Betty Dodson - on DVD now - The Orgasm Doctor
and most recently and utterly absorbingly - the manuals from the Chuluaqui Quodoushka work.

Back to the practice...

Last edited by ms_eloise (20-04-09 05:13:22)

gala · 20-04-09 02:08:59

I threw myself right into Carol Queen and Pat Califia when I started reading books about sex and sexuality, which fucked my shit up right from the start. They are both totally celebratory about all things deviant and lascivious, which of course gives other folks permission to do the same. I'd recommend Queen's Real Live Nude Girl and Califia's Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex for things that will just stretch you right out in a very convincing manner.

Annie Sprinkle's Hardcore from the Heart made me think about art and sex work in the ways I wanted to think about them most. It's the most 'academic' of her written works. Good shit.

Nancy Friday's stuff has always been a nice read. What I appreciate about her is the volume of her investigations into the sexual minds of everyday folks from a lot of backgrounds.

Laura Kipnis (Against Love: A Polemic, and many others) supported my wild ideas about loving, which are very very applicable to my wild ideas about sex.

Simon Sheppard's Kinkorama is on the table with Queen and Califia, he's a dirty boy and very, very humble about it.

The work of Helene Cixous has made me find the sex in darkness, in holes, in gaps, dark spaces. That is very, very important. She's a French feminist cultural theorist, a writer, an artist, a text.

Up to now I've mostly only read non-fiction in regards to sex - essays, theory, instructionals, etc. It's only over the last few months that I've started to get hungry for actual erotic literature, so I will have more to add to my list as I explore that. I know that most of it, I really don't like. But I'm only dipping my toes in at this point. I saw this at the bookshop the other day, it's a bit pricey but maybe someday I'll get it as a gift: http://www.amazon.com/X-Erotic-Treasury … 0811864022. I'm pretty sure I can trust things that Susie Bright is involved in.

I'll have to go and have a look at my bookshelf, though - I know there are more. Lots more.

ngaio · 20-04-09 05:09:41

Oh man, this is awesome! So very much to try and find time to read somehow! You guys are awesome.

I've had a think and can't really come up with a lot of reading material that has really directly influenced me. Though one book that always springs to mind is Alan Moore's Lost Girls - not a book that influenced my sexuality as far as I can tell, but one that really got me excited to see that porn really can be art. He actually wrote a great little essay on porn as art which I cannot find online anymore but am lucky enough to have a copy printed out at home somewhere.

Hmmm, yeah, you all have me motivated to read more of the non-fiction variety as a lot of that stuff sounds fascinating!

gala · 20-04-09 05:14:55

I'd love to read that essay, ngaio, maybe you can photocopy it for the office nerds?

ngaio · 20-04-09 05:27:42

Sure thing, I'll have a scramble around at home tonight and see if I can find it!

Folly · 21-04-09 03:27:40

I asked because I recently got around to reading Female Chauvinist Pigs -which was really good because it backed up somethings about raunch culture and its appropriation by females that I am not very happy about and also highlighted some scary attitudes that women have which entail the need to become 'like men' to have power. But I am still undecided about many issues it raised and wish to read some more sex-positive stuff to help me weigh it all up. So ta for the recommendations!

ngaio · 21-04-09 04:26:05

Yeah, I had a similar sort of experience when I read that book awhile back. I really think it hit the nail on the head in certain aspects and I think Ariel Levy is awesome.

But it also felt a bit extreme in certain aspects... it has hints of that whole "you're only wearing a g-string because you're a victim of the patriachy" attitude which I find problematic, though don't really know how to deal with.

gala · 21-04-09 05:17:51

I haven't been able to bring myself to read that book yet, which is mostly because I assume I already know how I feel about all of that stuff and I tend to be more interested in the theory behind such ideas than that 'analysis of mainstream media' sort of approach. I do remember, though, a couple of years ago when there was a discussion about that book on (I think) the ISM Forums - that was one of the things that made me start to want to be part of the discussions there because I thought it was cool that people were even talking about such things.

ngaio · 21-04-09 05:40:07

If you ever do read it, it's a wonderfully quick little read to get through. That's part of what I liked about it - it's accessable - which was a very refreshing break from the wanky (wanky pretentious, not the fun one we come here to see!) art books I was reading for university at the time. It's definitely not an "academic" book but that's part of why I liked it... it gets people who wouldn't usually read such books to do so and discuss things they might not usually. At least, that's been my observation in my own little part of the universe!

Last edited by ngaio (21-04-09 05:40:40)

Folly · 22-04-09 02:57:32

It really awakened me to something I have been subconciously aware of that is quite worrying and that is the attitude of the "boi" lesbians to women, and their use of phrases such as "bros before hos." That women find it ok to be like that to other women is scary. But it was also scary because some aspects of that attitude is latently familiar within myself.

ngaio · 22-04-09 04:09:25

Oh I had forgotten that section of the book - yes, that was really fascinating and rather disturbing. It's interesting how you see counter cultures adopting the same sort of rules as mainstream culture.

#1 17-04-09 03:47:05

Reading that influenced your sexuality

#2 17-04-09 06:55:55

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#3 17-04-09 07:13:06

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#4 17-04-09 08:48:00

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#5 17-04-09 08:55:19

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#6 17-04-09 19:21:08

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#7 17-04-09 19:32:42

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#8 17-04-09 19:37:46

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#9 17-04-09 20:47:52

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#10 17-04-09 20:51:07

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#11 17-04-09 21:42:50

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#12 17-04-09 22:45:00

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#13 18-04-09 09:50:56

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#14 20-04-09 02:08:59

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#15 20-04-09 05:09:41

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#16 20-04-09 05:14:55

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#17 20-04-09 05:27:42

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#18 21-04-09 03:27:40

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#19 21-04-09 04:26:05

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#20 21-04-09 05:17:51

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#21 21-04-09 05:40:07

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#22 22-04-09 02:57:32

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

#23 22-04-09 04:09:25

Re: Reading that influenced your sexuality

Board footer