Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

blissed · 10-04-09 17:15:26

I've moved the topic that developed from the 'Why did you join this site thread' so that people can post why they joined the site in there This was the last post there on this topic.

http://forum.ifeelmyself.com/forum/view … 237#p39237

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blissed · 10-04-09 17:15:52

nihpuad wrote:

(this is metaphorically similar to the kind of sensory mismatch that causes motion sickness... though I definitely do not mean to be saying that implants make me seasick! ).

Ha ha I can see you at a job interview "Can I ask how many people here have breast implants because the sight of certain types of boobs gives me motion sickness "

I think thats a perfectly reasonable request :- )

nihpuad wrote:

Doesn't mean I don't have preferences, though. What a woman wants to look like and what I want to look at are entirely independent variables... but it's nice when they overlap, no?

That overlap represents our positive preferences and those are easy to express, and when we do it helps to make people happy, what is the value of expressing what we don't like about other peoples permanent appearance, something we're usually very very tactful even reluctant about expressing in person.

So if that tact is dropped in the context of an erotic site where people are sharing their sexuality, it seems extremely rude and if unchallenged I feel tends to create an atmosphere thats demeaning, which is a million miles from where this site is or has ever been.

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nihpuad · 10-04-09 21:35:27

blissed wrote:

I think thats a perfectly reasonable request :- )

Have any comment on my IFM All-Stars In Space idea? Maybe I should repost it under the members' requests and suggestion topic, eh?

blissed wrote:

[The] overlap [I mentioned] represents our positive preferences and those are easy to express, and when we do it helps to make people happy, what is the value of expressing what we don't like about other peoples permanent appearance, something we're usually very very tactful even reluctant about expressing in person.

First, I should be clear: I think women are freakin' awesome, full stop. When I say something does or does not particularly appeal to me erotically, it's all relative: I mean that thing is marginally more or less freakin' awesome; it's never negative. Give me a choice between looking at implant-enhanced boobs and not looking at boobs at all, and I'll look at the implants every time.

Next, I never imagine that anyone would or should measure their own worth or attractiveness based on my preferences. My preferences are about me, and have nothing to do with the intrinsic value of anyone who may or may not happen to embody them. All the IFM contributors are all gorgeous, regardless of body type, hair color, implant status, etc.; that some of them are more to my tastes... and some less... in no way reduces their splendor.

blissed wrote:

So if that tact is dropped in the context of an erotic site where people are sharing their sexuality, it seems extremely rude and if unchallenged I feel tends to create an atmosphere thats demeaning, which is a million miles from where this site is or has ever been.

I agree. I didn't disagree with your challenge to the initial post on this topic, and I hope my contributions here have never seemed rude or demeaning. I just got sidetracked by the academic, slightly self-analyzing question of why implants don't particularly appeal to me.

blissed · 10-04-09 23:31:51

nihpuad wrote:

Have any comment on my IFM All-Stars In Space idea?

I think it's brilliant! we have to get hold of some of that bailout money! or this is never gonna happen :)

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ngaio · 14-04-09 04:05:16

Bringing a quote from the other conversation here!

neukgraag wrote:

Some men like big boobs and some like small firm breasts. I believe that for every woman, there is a guy who likes her just the way she is.
If you really want to look more attractive, you are better off maybe spending a little time in the gym. Men like firm butts and firm thighs and firm tummies. That I do know.

I'd try be a bit more careful saying "men like this exact thing" as if speaking for every single man, especially after saying that there's always a guy out there who likes a girl just the way she is, you know?

Every single guy I've ever been with has loved my soft butt, thighs and tummy. Unless you're calling 'em all liars!

hyperballad · 14-04-09 04:39:01

Appearance is so so relative. How I think I look when I peer into the mirror is different from how you would see me and the same goes for every single person. I find you're far better off working towards feeling happy about yourself rather than aiming towards the impossible ideal of appealing to anyone really.

I'm happy with myself, I think I'm attractive and sexy and awesome - this is in turn what I project and it would seem the people around me tend to agree. You are whatever you think you are...

Telling others how they should or shouldn't look, what they 'need' to work on in regard to their appearance is just societies way of making us feel bad about ourselves so we're easier to control - so we buy stupid magazines with the latest celeb diets, fail at said diets and then buy and eat a thousand chocolate bars and feel even worse.

I am by no means anything resembling what you see in fashion magazines or even mainstream porn but I feel incredible and lead a happy, fulfilling and pretty damn satisfying life which is definitely on the outer edges of what everyone else does...

Just be yourself and be damn good at it.

ngaio · 14-04-09 07:25:04

You rock, Hyperballad! The world needs more people like you to say stuff like that!

blissed · 14-04-09 15:33:32

Ooh I agree! Hyperballad I think you are damn good at being yourself and I have the photographic evidence. http://www.ishotmyself.com/public/gener … h&p=search
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rocky · 14-04-09 17:26:44

hyperballad, you are very insightful. I agree and I wish everyone, myself included, could be so self assured.

hyperballad · 15-04-09 01:23:32

Ahahahahaha. Thats awesome proof blissed Everyone go look!!

Thanks guys... I don't feel like I said anything special though, it's my truth and I just wanted to share it.

Sometimes people think they don't have a right to feel good about themselves. I was shown this piece of writing at the age of 16 and its something that has seen me through to now:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Spoken by Nelson Mandela.

ngaio · 15-04-09 02:15:44

Mwaha! Awesomeness.

As for that quote... that is absolutely fantastic. I'm going to put that somewhere in my house to remind me to not always beat myself up. Thanks!

blissed · 15-04-09 03:15:26

I agree again ha ha I'll replace the word god tho with life force but those are really great words.

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ngaio · 15-04-09 04:37:11

Well I'm an athiest so when I read the word "God" I sort of just skim over it. No disrespect there, though. My mother is Christian and is awesome.

Last edited by ngaio (15-04-09 04:38:11)

hyperballad · 15-04-09 04:44:23

I think of being 'a child of god' as being a child of the world... Something like that.

ngaio · 15-04-09 04:50:29

"Child of the world" is nice, I like that!

ngaio · 15-04-09 07:18:32

That quote is now above my desk thanks to the printing fairy! Mwa!~

hyperballad · 15-04-09 08:07:22

I was already printing one to put behind mah desk, but you're welcome lovely lady. *biggest kisses and cuddles*

It's been a bit of a rough one today...

xo

blissed · 15-04-09 11:35:14

I just thought today what a great thing to read 1st before you sing in public or even to one other person, even if they know you. If you want to feel a little of what the quote is about turn and sing to the nearest person to you :)

Nelson Mandela with edits wrote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the world. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of life that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Spoken by Nelson Mandela.

ngaio · 16-04-09 02:34:47

Oh man! I just had the biggest kisses and cuddles! Nobody else! I got the biggest! YES! *Fist pump*

Thanks m'am! You definitely helped to make my day yesterday!

#1 10-04-09 17:15:26

Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#2 10-04-09 17:15:52

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#3 10-04-09 21:35:27

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#4 10-04-09 23:31:51

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#5 14-04-09 04:05:16

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#6 14-04-09 04:39:01

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#7 14-04-09 07:25:04

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#8 14-04-09 15:33:32

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#9 14-04-09 17:26:44

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#10 15-04-09 01:23:32

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#11 15-04-09 02:15:44

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#12 15-04-09 03:15:26

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#13 15-04-09 04:37:11

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#14 15-04-09 04:44:23

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#15 15-04-09 04:50:29

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#16 15-04-09 07:18:32

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#17 15-04-09 08:07:22

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#18 15-04-09 11:35:14

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

#19 16-04-09 02:34:47

Re: Expressing preferences (Topic moved from "why I joined site" thread)

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