If she did....how can you tell?

Wolfdad · 21-03-09 07:24:28

I don't know if this is still open, but the question was resolved for me by changing my perspective. I shifted the emphasis from giving an orgasm to giving pleasure.

Of course an orgasm is still the best indicator of pleasure, so my internal perspective didn't really change, but since the external, verbal or otherwise, goal of an orgasm can actually create its own pressure to perform, you can find yourself working against what both of you really want.

With this mindset of de-emphasizing the serious intent of body language and dirty talk, I've found it enhances the actual effect of both. Besides, it's more enjoyable.

It certainly frees up the creative side too.

Let her tell you if she did. Without any pressure to get an answer.

gala · 23-03-09 01:25:27

Wolfdad wrote:

I don't know if this is still open, but the question was resolved for me by changing my perspective. I shifted the emphasis from giving an orgasm to giving pleasure.
Of course an orgasm is still the best indicator of pleasure...
Let her tell you if she did. Without any pressure to get an answer.

I like this. It's consistent with that whole concept of de-centralising the orgasm, which expands the possibilities (and lengths and amounts) of pleasure. I can't say, though, that I think that an orgasm is the best indicator of pleasure. In some circumstances, I've found it way more gratifying for someone else to give me everything short of an orgasm, and for me to give it to myself, sometimes hours or days later. By pooling all of that energy and experience and memory into a space where I can completely isolate it and ride around on it like my very own pony. And I pick when to get off.

Wolfdad · 23-03-09 23:01:04

I meant it in the sense of getting feedback to calibrate what you do and how you do it. The conundrum in taking the problem-solver mindset into the bedroom, for those of us from Mars, seems to come down to proportion. How much is helpful. When does it become counter-productive?

That was a huge hurdle for me to clear.

This is what I get out of reading from a guy who begins pondering female orgasms at the most basic philosophical level, and finds himself devising magic towels.

For me, recognizing the differences in language between the sexes was really helpful. It's fine with me if she goes off afterward to continue alone, in fact it's kinda hot. I just want to get the most out of my experience with her when we're together.

Wet, panting, moaning homemade cologne. That's what I like to make.

By the way, when I watched your latest video it made me want to lift a girl up and down against a wall by her g-spot until my hand slipped out. This fantasy did include the physical strength to actually pull it off. Oh, and she didn't fall to the floor. She landed on her feet and staggered into me - getting my pantleg wet. Then we went out for Japanese food.

drdavidh · 23-03-09 23:15:57

Hummm, de-centralized orgasms huh? That is an interesting concept to consider. But that's probably going off in a different direction from the posted topic. I think when your really intune with your parnters energy there is not any need to ask "If she did...how can you tell? It may be that people need to be more observant and to focus on the more subtle qualities of a womans pleasure..I think orgasm and pleasure is like a perfect circle when done properly. You shouldn't be able to tell where one starts and the other one ends.

gala · 24-03-09 00:28:57

Wolfdad wrote:

By the way, when I watched your latest video it made me want to lift a girl up and down against a wall by her g-spot until my hand slipped out. This fantasy did include the physical strength to actually pull it off. Oh, and she didn't fall to the floor. She landed on her feet and staggered into me - getting my pantleg wet. Then we went out for Japanese food.

Really. Do I know you from somewhere?

#26 21-03-09 07:24:28

Re: If she did....how can you tell?

#27 23-03-09 01:25:27

Re: If she did....how can you tell?

#28 23-03-09 23:01:04

Re: If she did....how can you tell?

#29 23-03-09 23:15:57

Re: If she did....how can you tell?

#30 24-03-09 00:28:57

Re: If she did....how can you tell?

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