Sharing The Moment

Elfman · 19-05-06 13:45:14

I’ve just been over on AW downloading some double “Intimate Moments” videos (two girls masturbating together) and it made me wonder how common this practice is and how attitudes towards it differ between the sexes. As a male heterosexual I had one or two close friends I sometimes masturbated with in early adolescence (usually over copies of “Playboy” or other such publications) but in later life have never had a friend I would have felt comfortable doing this with or ever felt the desire to. In my experience most men feel a little uncomfortable undressing in front of each other outside the sports locker room or sauna and would certainly not consider masturbating together. Women of course are much more comfortable with intimacy and will undress in front of each other or share a bed if required with a lot less hesitancy than most men will. (I have known several women who learnt to kiss in adolescence by practicing with close friends with no embarrassment but I have never met a heterosexual man who did). I wonder if this greater intimacy allows them to go that one step further and masturbate together more readily? This raises two questions:

a) How common is it for adult heterosexual men to masturbate together.

b) How common is it for adult heterosexual women to masturbate together (especially among those outside the IFM/BA/ISM/AW community which I think most of us agree is special and unrepresentative).

Elfman.

Last edited by Elfman (19-05-06 13:57:29)

blissed · 19-05-06 14:06:13

Elfman wrote:

a) How common is it for adult heterosexual men to masturbate together.

Ha ha you have to be part of a very select social group to do that

http://www.ishotmyself.com/forums/showp … stcount=12

Elfman · 19-05-06 14:14:43

blissed wrote:

Elfman wrote:
a) How common is it for adult heterosexual men to masturbate together.
Ha ha you have to be part of a very select social group to do that
http://www.ishotmyself.com/forums/showp … stcount=12

The practice referred to in the hyperlink is I think a very competative, macho one blissed. What I am talking about is a more intimate, sharing experience between two close friends.

Elfman

Khanada Faye · 19-05-06 19:33:14

Elfman wrote:

b) How common is it for adult heterosexual women to masturbate together (especially among those outside the IFM/BA/ISM/AW community which I think most of us agree is special and unrepresentative).
Elfman.

Well, I have never done this. I think very little of changing in front of my close girlfriends or sharing a bed with them, which we've often done. But I think doing something like this would make things quite awkward between us. It has nothing to do with homophobia (as it sometimes does with men), since a few of my friends have been with both men and women, and we discuss sex and our personal experiences very openly. I think it's just a certain kind of intimacy that all of us (that is, my friends and I) strictly reserve for our sexual partners. It isn't a part of our friendship

Lia · 19-05-06 21:22:24

Elfman wrote:

a) How common is it for adult heterosexual men to masturbate together.
b) How common is it for adult heterosexual women to masturbate together (especially among those outside the IFM/BA/ISM/AW community which I think most of us agree is special and unrepresentative).

As a begrudgingly and pretentiously "I don't wanna be categoriiiiiised or labellllllled!" bisexual woman, and as someone who has studied male-male and female-female friendships through gender theory, queer theory, psychoanalysis, and a lot of other bollocks, my bent on this might be a little skewed, and might go off onto something of a tangent. It will also possibly read like a horribly dry essay.

There are all these fables, urban legends and pop cultural narratives about otherwise hetero (or self-defined hetero) men performing rituals together which are based on collective, even competitive masturbation. It's all very Top Gun. The time-honored Wet/Soggy Biscuit Game, for instance, which I've always found rather disturbing and puzzling (especially when Tim-Tams are involved), and have always seen as a distinct construct of male homosocial behaviour.

These guys are watching each other jerking off, and aren't unaroused by the sight (that is, they obviously don't find the image repulsive or libido-deflating), and apparently use this exercise in vigorous, quick-to-the-chase, collective/communal male masturbation as a source of 'fun' or 'pleasure'. The fact that the one who spurts last has to eat the cum-drenched biscuit in question seems to further the notion that this is some bizarre form of catharsis, whereby apparently straight men can vent their curiosities about other apparently straight guys' sexuality through the legitimisation and sanctity of it being a supposedly inane, highschoolish, puerile game.

In terms of women, I can't think of many examples, except for adolescent memories, which are all about tentative experimentation and all that shite. I've wanked alongside some of my straight female friends (whilst incidentally making coherent conversation at the same time), but they're always friends who I have some intrinsically intense bond with - not necessarily a sexual one, but one which perhaps transcends sexuality. I also have a friend who will suddenly conjure up some intense arousal and rush to the bathroom with her vibrator (which is kept oh so conveniently in her handbag), and I daresay, if she was inebriated and/or drug-addled enough, she'd probably just do it in front of me, with both of us probably being quite comfortable with the situation.

So whilst I'd venture that het males who masturbate together utilise this 'game' as a form of male bonding, in a manner which perhaps somewhat thinly conceals or rationalises somewhat repressed homoerotic inclinations or curiosities, women configure and cerebralise masturbation very differently. For females - largely; I obviously speak not for them all; some women like myself rather like to turn wanking into a sportive collective adventure - the aesthetics of wanking are often quite intimately solitary, not grounded in social or bonding dynamics, non-competitive, and are thus vastly divergent from the collective, competitive, blokey sensibility which seems to outline the male masturbatory imagination (or certain biscuit-schplurting men's masturbatory imaginations).

Lia · 19-05-06 21:25:11

blissed wrote:

Ha ha you have to be part of a very select social group to do that
http://www.ishotmyself.com/forums/showp … stcount=12

Bugger! Someone beat me to the bloody biscuit argument!

Arse! I'm going to maintain that my contribution is valid because it provides a more "analytical exploration" of the Soggy Biscuit Horror.

Elfman · 19-05-06 21:49:28

Lia wrote:

Shitloads of interesting stuff

Thanks Lia. That's all fascinating and very informative. I guess in hindsight my questions were specious anyway since they were based on a presumption that everyone can be classified into three groups - Heterosexual, bi-sexual or homosexual - whereas in fact between black and white there are a million shades of grey.

Elfman.

Last edited by Elfman (19-05-06 21:49:54)

Nowaysis · 19-05-06 21:56:14

To be honest, I've never heard of, or talked to anyone who has actually tried the soggy biscuit game, and I've never been anywhere near participating in it myself either. That said, I have on one occasion masturbated together with a male friend, a cousin to be more precise. It was all very timid, and we lay fully clothed (or as fully clothed as the situation allowed) on separate beds at a very comfortable distance from each other, there was never any hint of wanting to touch each other. I actually don't know if he came, I did though, and then left the room after a few moments to clean up.

richard · 20-05-06 01:39:50

Two Canadian girls in their early-mid 20's who recently contributed to all our projetcs regularly masturbate together, so they did so for IFM. They told us they don't have a sexual relationship, and I'm afraid you'll need to speak French to find out more than that.

blissed · 20-05-06 02:37:42

Lia wrote:

Bugger! Someone beat me to the bloody biscuit

Ooh bad luck If you hold your nose you won't taste it

Lia wrote:

I've wanked alongside some of my straight female friends (whilst incidentally making coherent conversation at the same time)

Theres a video that Liandra did with her friend Verity for Abby winters. Where Verity didn't masturbate but accompanied Liandra. I'm probably naive but it was the first time I'd seen this and I thought it was lovely. I saw a TV documentary where the drummer from Fleetwood Mac said he'd shared affection with another straight band member and they occasionally slept together so I expect there is a Homme equivalent but it's gotta be much rarer.

aven frey · 20-05-06 04:32:35

I do remember when I was growing up boys were far more open about wanking then girls. They would talk about it with their mates, their brothers, in class, with unassuming girls on the train (yes!), where as girls wouldn't even admit to doing it. Perhaps because for boys masturbation was sort of demystified doing it in ritualistic groups could be undertaken without the connotations of homoerotism.

msnevil · 20-05-06 06:52:29

Yep, Time to open a "can of worms". While I can't talk about the "alternative lifestyle" people.

After reading some stories at solotouch. I think mutual masturbation is more common then people realize.

Sorta like a "bonding ritual" without the sex. Or a swinger's party without the swap.

Of Course, Here the Question.

Would you as a guy\girl be comfortable Masturbating in front of another? (outside girlfriend, spouse, etc)

No for me, But then agian, my marriage vows is sacred. But I know my wife viewed some girls do it at a teen "slumber party".

Nowaysis · 20-05-06 09:38:40

I would probably be comfortable, as previously stated I have already done it once. The thing is it has to be with exactly the right person, and under exactly the right circumstances. When my cousin and I did it, it just sort of happened. Neither one of us said a word to initiate it or to keep things going. A sort of silent agreement, "let's just do this". I have over the years sometimes wished I had the chance to do it again, but I don't know if I'd be comfortable doing it again with him.

Jakeview · 20-05-06 10:20:50

msnevil wrote:

Would you as a guy\girl be comfortable Masturbating in front of another? (outside girlfriend, spouse, etc)

I've never done it with another man and, honestly, I don't think I would be aroused at the idea of having a one-on-one(or group bisquit) session. If you add women, that's another story.

I have some very liberal-minded friends, men and women, who are open to things like group masturbation parties. I've been invited before. If the opportunity presented itself again, and I was able, I'd probably accept, given that I'd know it was to be a coed situation. Masturbating with men just isn't where my interest lies. But there's something very erotic about men and women doing it together.

Speaking of masturbating...did anybody realize that May is national masturbation month? And there's this:

http://www.masturbate-a-thon.com/

I wonder how many IFM Wankettes would participate in something like this(you can do it at home if you prefer!)

Lia · 20-05-06 12:21:27

blissed wrote:

Lia wrote:
Bugger! Someone beat me to the bloody biscuit
Ooh bad luck If you hold your nose you won't taste it
Lia wrote:
I've wanked alongside some of my straight female friends (whilst incidentally making coherent conversation at the same time)
Theres a video that Liandra did with her friend Verity for Abby winters. Where Verity didn't masturbate but accompanied Liandra. I'm probably naive but it was the first time I'd seen this and I thought it was lovely. I saw a TV documentary where the drummer from Fleetwood Mac said he'd shared affection with another straight band member and they occasionally slept together so I expect there is a Homme equivalent but it's gotta be much rarer.

I probably couldn't taste it anyway - I'm a hardcore lung-scorching chain-smoker, so all I can taste at the moment is ashy nicotiney burniness, let alone the remnants of a soggy and undoubtedly er protein-addled biscuit.

Must find a way of seeing this delightful video. Haven't seen any Abby Winters stuff.

Damn it, why must you go and ruin everything by dragging Fleetwood Mac into the mix? Wanking, Stevie Nicks and Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow just mix together so very disturbingly uncomfortably.

blissed · 20-05-06 13:19:43

I found the drummers name and it's Mick Fleetwood and you can take my word for it, he's ubber sexy Anyway at least I didn't mention Micheal Barrimore, he's done lots of mutual masterbation

aven frey · 24-05-06 14:25:06

msnevil wrote:

Of Course, Here the Question.
Would you as a guy\girl be comfortable Masturbating in front of another? (outside girlfriend, spouse, etc)
.

Would, have done, will do it again! Its so way fun.. especially when the girls let you touch their boobies!

blissed · 25-05-06 00:06:04

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm boobies

Warmtouch · 25-05-06 01:39:49

Did it once, with one other very close male friend when I was maybe 14. We didn't touch each other. He had a book with porno pictures in it; hot stuff at the time.

Nowadays there isn't anybody I know and like well enough, and I'd just rather have female company anyway. It's been a damn long time since I felt close to any man in any way at all, sexual or otherwise.

I've certainly done it in front of women but not with them as purely passive viewers. It was a conclusion to sex in which I couldn't reach orgasm any other way, a problem some of you gentlemen of a certain age may know about. That probably doesn't count, though.

Elfman · 25-05-06 03:03:40

max wrote:

Would, have done, will do it again!

I know. Yours were some of the vids I downloaded!!! You're a very, very naughty girl (thank god). .

Warmtouch wrote:

It was a conclusion to sex in which I couldn't reach orgasm any other way, a problem some of you gentlemen of a certain age may know about. That probably doesn't count, though.

I wouldn't know Warmtouch it is so long since I've been near a woman. (Another problem which some of you single gentlemen of a certain age may know about

Elfman

Last edited by Elfman (25-05-06 03:08:15)

Cate · 25-05-06 13:31:11

I have done this often with lovers both male and female but only occasionaly people who are 'just' friends so to speak.

#1 19-05-06 13:45:14

Sharing The Moment

#2 19-05-06 14:06:13

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