Inside or Outside

fallensilent · 07-03-08 19:45:59

So I had a very drawn out debate with a friend today, who is male, about the apparent blissfull wonders of coming inside a girl. I have never been really comfortable with it, and my boyfriend has never expressed any desire to do it so I have never given it a second thought. I never thought before that it was inhibiting his orgasm in any way, and he certainly has no complaints.

Is there anyone else that really has no preference, or on the other hand has very strong preference.

Maybe it's an ignorant question, like duh ya it feels better, I think the case is that the anxiety of 'oh shit hope she took her pill today' is not worth that added bonus... or is it?

nihpuad · 07-03-08 22:46:40

fallensilent wrote:

So I had a very drawn out debate with a friend today, who is male, about the apparent blissfull wonders of coming inside a girl. I have never been really comfortable with it, and my boyfriend has never expressed any desire to do it so I have never given it a second thought.

I'm curious what y'all do do. Does he come on your body somewhere (or face)? Or does he just pull out and shoot on the sheets? The former is certainly a typical feature of traditional porn, and I know it's a fetish thing for some guys... but I didn't really think it was the "standard" practice for most regular couples. Then again, I don't really have any data on what is the standard practice for most regular couples (if any such thing really exists). I'm curious what other forum folks' experience is on this score.

Is it just fear of pregnancy and/or disease that makes you uncomfortable with your BF coming inside you (note that, absent a condom, pulling out isn't a very reliable way of preventing either), or is it actually your aesthetic/sensual preference?

Sorry to be so nosy, but you've raised a fascinating question.

fallensilent · 08-03-08 10:45:16

nihpuad wrote:

Is it just fear of pregnancy and/or disease that makes you uncomfortable with your BF coming inside you (note that, absent a condom, pulling out isn't a very reliable way of preventing either), or is it actually your aesthetic/sensual preference?
Sorry to be so nosy, but you've raised a fascinating question.

Yes he usually comes somewhere on my body, depends on the position, but def not the face. Even with previous partners, that was the norm, and it was by no means something I requested or even discussed.

The fear of pregnancy I guess is the main reason why I am uncomfortable, even being on birth control, just to be double safe. If I were to let him come inside me I think I would be extremely anxious and worried, but it is also something that Im not used to. I haven't brought it up with my current boyfriend yet but I suspect that he would have the same reasoning.

I guess it really does come down to what your level of comfort is and the particular circumstances

Rexylotyl · 08-03-08 11:24:01

I haven't come inside a woman for probably 5 years, as far as I can remember - perhaps once - and I've had several partners in that time. Partly I suppose it's the pregnancy thing but I know that precum can also be virile so withdrawal is not a very effective contraceptive measure. I think the main reason is, I just don't like making a mess in there. If there's going to be more sex later, or in the morning - and I enjoy giving oral - then it's not so pleasant. I have had partners whose vagina even starts to get a quite distasteful odour the next day, although I suspect that might also point to an underlying health problem. Obviously I can't speak from the female's point of view but I would think that many would prefer not to have to deal with the mess, especially if they don't have the opportunity to clean up before getting on with things (the impromtu on-location quickie).

artist_chica · 10-03-08 06:24:19

I feel like I have a very strong biological/physical desire for a man to come inside me. Doesn't happen very often for obvious reasons but the times that it has happened have been pretty memorable and special.

Rexylotyl · 10-03-08 07:46:04

Chica, does it make a difference whether a condom is used? Is it just the sensation of a man orgasming while he's inside you, or is it the sensation of the fluid as well?

nihpuad · 11-03-08 06:30:45

"To each his own, said the lady as she kissed the cow," eh?

Rexylotyl wrote:

I think the main reason is, I just don't like making a mess in there.

I find it interesting that you view pulling out (and presumably coming on your partner's body or on the sheets) as less messy than coming inside your partner, where your juice would just blend in with all the other lovely juices in there. (Unless, of course, you're using a condom, in which case mess isn't really an issue either way.)

Please note that this is not intended as any sort of criticism; I'm just fascinated by the different ways people see things.

Or, to use the words of Comrade Lennon...

Whatever gets you through the night, s'alright, s'alright....

Last edited by nihpuad (11-03-08 06:32:15)

Hippolytus · 14-03-08 05:45:14

I have to agree with Chica... I love when a man comes inside me, and I love swallowing it too. I love watching my partner masturbate and then when he just starts to come to take him in my mouth too. So it's visual as well as enjoying the semen itself. I also love the sensation of his ejaculation, which can be quite forceful sometimes, inside me. I love the smell of our juices mixing particularly the next day, and how it seems to stay on your hands no matter how much you wash them. As for mess on the body... semen is one of the best masques I"ve ever used on my face or anywhere - try it and never mind the collagen injections! Just rub it around.... As for pregnancy, I personally have never been pregnant and have usually been cautious about it by using contraception -I've had an IUD now for about 7 years and that is great - and very effective and non-invasive. The only space I don't like my lover to come in is in my bum! I had a very funny conversation with a female friend of mine about how it gives you "bitty poo". Ha ha. Now that's messy!

But really, how could I ever complain about his secretions when I have so many of my own? It's usually me who makes the wet spot! I might print a t-shirt that says I heart cum. And a smiley on the back of it. Bring it on! Any takers? I'm sure there's a market for it. But it is interesting that there are so many people who withdraw. In my circle of friends and acquaintances though, they are usually the ones who did fall pregnant. And as for condoms, personally I hate them - they dry me up and make me smell like a condom instead of my lover. But that is the luxury of a partnership rather than casual sex.

I've also heard a theory (chinese taoist sexual practices) that a man's semen is life/energy giving for the woman (and depleting for the man) so it is best for a man not to come too often - also though that he can absorb the woman's juices which are lifeful for him.. which is food for thought.. I think the lovely squishy pre-cum in both sexes is divine and deserves to be shared at any rate, regardless of what you do with the end result. Gets me through the night...

animaul · 18-04-08 01:29:24

i always thought it was instinctive for a man to come inside a woman.if the man pulls out it can interupt both partners climax. suppose a woman is about to come and the man pulls out so he doesnt come inside her.not good for her.it has already been said here but some women like to feel that hot gush inside them.

artist_chica · 19-04-08 06:26:57

Rexylotyl wrote:

Chica, does it make a difference whether a condom is used? Is it just the sensation of a man orgasming while he's inside you, or is it the sensation of the fluid as well?

Yes the sensation of the fluid is what makes it so good! It seems to add to the instensity of my orgasm too if we are both orgasming at the same time and he is cuming inside me.

Hippolytus · 22-04-08 05:00:31

animaul wrote:

i always thought it was instinctive for a man to come inside a woman.if the man pulls out it can interupt both partners climax. suppose a woman is about to come and the man pulls out so he doesnt come inside her.not good for her.it has already been said here but some women like to feel that hot gush inside them.

Yes, I have to agree, on the one or two occasions where this has happened it has been deeply unsatisfying. Also, when a guy is trying to stop himself from coming and then it takes him over.. sometimes, if he surrenders to it, the sensation of his surrender is doubly exciting and makes my orgasms more intense - however, if he comes in disappointment it is usually really lacklustre for him and for me. I think the thing about having a guy come inside you is something about making a guy lose control or maybe even that sense of surrender which is so damn exciting.. So I would prefer a guy to come "too soon" if he has totally surrendered, then to have a guy come "censored", as it were. I guess the real challenge is how to excite a man so much and for him to reach such a state of surrender that his pleasure is prolonged by it prior to orgasm, rather than him having to resist his pleasure and hence lose some of it then. Then when he comes his orgasm is the kind that comes from somewhere deep within, and his whole being is tripped up in his pleasure. Mmm yes.

leda · 06-05-08 13:24:32

This is kind of tricky for me to explain. Previous to the relationship I am in now I had a lot of trouble due to medical reasons and personal choice allowing myself to enjoy the supreme moment of giving, which really for me it is, that being letting my fella come in me. I hate condoms, I find them uncomfortable for both parties and I dislike the fact the man lacks quite a range of sensation.
I have always if possible allowed my fella to come in me and I had to give up the protection I used because of medical issues, this changed my whole sexual experience.
I find a man coming in me all the way around very satisfying emotionally and physically, but due to the fact I dislike outer protection and tried everything otherwise the few times my previous partner came in me, guess what? we had two little surprises! We also had before these two surprises two others long story but we ended those pregnancies. As you can imagine this made sex more a scary thing afterwards then an enjoyable event. This is what in the long run brought about the demise of our relationship, I know some people can go without sex or find intermittent intimacy enough or can work around it to keep the relationship working but we could not, very unfortunate but thats life.
Excuse my inain babble (stop laughing Hipp!) but i guess really what i am trying to say is that for me it's quite important I feel physically free and I love the control of allowing him and myself to let the semen flow into me; it just feels so much more intimate and yes it is messy later on but I even enjoy the smell and after sensation as it is a reminder that I had rather a nice time earlier on
For me personally when i want to have down right dirty hot silly sex i love the feeling and well fun of him coming on me (although if he ever came on my face I wouldn't be too happy, can't get into this at all, think I have seen too many bad pornos where this seems to be a theme) so I'm not against this at all either. really anything is cool as long as I feel comfortable and am in a 'happy' place
Well I think I'm done and really I have no idea whether that made any sense but I had fun trying to explain myself haha Ok I'm outer here to have a shower and get clean with my man about the house.

Whoops thought I had better clarify i found something that works for me so I feel 'safe' physically as I love my kids to bits BUT do NOT want any more...they are hard work you know!! So this may even explain somewhat why I submitted myself GO SEXUAL FREEDOM xo

Last edited by leda (06-05-08 13:28:11)

blissed · 06-05-08 13:46:16

leda wrote:

Excuse my inain babble

Oh I wouldn't say theres any inane babble there Leda it's a really honest and open post, thanks

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fallensilent · 06-05-08 21:31:03

Haven't checked back on this one in a while, but there are some great posts on here! Thanks for sharing!

bigrig · 16-05-08 16:06:41

I never thought of how a woman perceives the acceptance of a mans ejaculate inside her. I can tell you that there are times, when a long slow session of love making, seems like the best time to stay inside and feel the orgasm as it waves over me. Especially when my partner climaxes at the same time.
When I have her doggy style, especially doggy style, when I am at the point of pounding, full stroke, and my balls are slapping her clit, my hands pulling her hips, and she has come, just seems to be the appropriate time to pull out and Explode, literally. There is just something that feels like the appropriate, time. Perhaps it is the "porn star" or just that I feel like I am going to hurt her. At other times, when I know she has not come, I stay mounted and it will bring her over the top to stay inside.
The same can be said about any position, just the harder and faster, seems to be the best time to pull out.
I think most of us men, Love to watch ourselves come. To see how far, or how much we can come. When we get older, the amount and velocity decreases, but the feelings are the same.
After we come, the head of the penis becomes Very sensitive, sometimes to a point that it is uncomfortable to touch. Some women have the same reaction to their clit, while others enjoy continued stimulation.
Same can be said for oral, sometimes it feels so good, the macho feeling is to pull out and say "watch this"

blissed · 16-05-08 18:20:32

bigrig wrote:

I think most of us men, Love to watch ourselves come.

I think most women like to see it too, it's kind of a Yayy!!! reaction :)

.

kirejos · 17-05-08 06:23:41

Inside*

*Luckily, most of the partners I've been with haven't had anything against using condoms.

kitkat · 23-05-08 02:10:29

Leda... yay for hot silly sex! I can recommend the IUD if you have an ongoing partner.. best of both worlds and no hormones to deal with if you get the multiload version. I"m on my second now and it really works for me. I have lots of hot silly sex! Big hug to you girl, I love you... xxxxxxx

dandan · 03-06-08 09:46:17

Until I want to have kids, I will never come inside a girl. I understand the desire to do so, but unplanned pregnancy isn't worth the little thrill that it would bring to do so.

aven frey · 04-06-08 03:16:56

Dandan have you met Captian C? He can help you have both those things without the of worry pulling out in time and all those niggly other things! : )

blissed · 04-06-08 07:16:04

Also pre- cum seeps out before you ejaculate and makes some really beautiful babies, I know one.

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bigrig · 05-06-08 15:50:52

I made one

blissed · 05-06-08 18:56:05

Ha ha well done :) anyone out there who is one?

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dandan · 05-06-08 18:58:29

bobby wrote:

Dandan have you met Captian C? He can help you have both those things without the of worry pulling out in time and all those niggly other things! : )

I assume you mean condoms? If you're wearing a condom, I don't consider it coming inside. Inside means fluid transmission as far as I'm concerned.

aven frey · 09-06-08 06:11:51

Okay yeah, fair enough, that makes sense. Sorry I did jump to the conclusion that you were refering to that dodgy withdrawl technique all the kids are doing these days. Risky buisness I tells you!!

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