Your First Time?

b_tennant · 22-02-07 06:34:15

It's like... warm apple pie! LOL
Seriously though, The closest thing that I could find that feels like the real thing is a Fleshlight. Fill the sink with warm water and let it soak for a few minutes then use some "SLIP" gel water based Lube. That's about the closest that you'll get. Or you could always visit Las Vegas and go to the "Bunny Ranch" I hear that they love virgins.

aven frey · 22-02-07 07:59:34

I just choked on my water!! Then I reread, I thought b_tennant, that you wrote, "go to the bunny ranch, I hear that they have virgins".
As you were.

b_tennant · 23-02-07 06:06:36

Actually you know, I bet if a virgin went to work at the Bunny Ranch they could probably make more thier first night than I do in a year. Some rich bastard would probably pay $20,000 - $30,000 to have sex with a virgin.

margo675 · 29-03-07 09:28:54

My first time I had intercourse was with a fella I just seen one other time. I was 19 and looked at my virginity as something I needed to get rid of ASAP. There were no candles, music, satin sheets...just him and I. He did not think I was a virgin. I didn't try to convince him either. I did bleed some and it was a little painful. Nothing that made me cry. I do not remember the guys name. Funny thing is I have the memory of an elephant and I cannot remember...oh well.

chaoswhisperer · 17-04-07 04:31:00

Ah, what memories! My first time was in college. I was dating my roommate’s girlfriend’s roommate. The four of us had gone someplace about an hour away from school in my roommate’s car. On the way back home, fairly late at night, my girlfriend and I were making out in the back seat. By the time we got back to school, we were super horny. We got in my car, found a secluded spot by an orange orchard and crawled in the back seat. I will never forget the wet, silky sensation of my cock in her pussy that first time. It was a quantum leap above jerking off, no matter what I used for lubrication. I quickly shot my load, then sheepishly nodded “Yes” when she said, “That was your first time, wasn’t it?” (I already knew that she was sexually experienced.) She didn’t have a chance to cum that time, but she was a good teacher (and I was a good student), and she came plenty of times with me after that.

Dachande · 17-04-07 05:42:33

Heh... First times are always fun.

I was with a girl for almost 2 years in highschool (last two years), and we never did much more than fondle (from what I hear, her mother was very disappointed that her daughter did not lose her virginity to me, because apparently her mom loved me, lol).

My first time having was in University, about 6 months after the HS girlfriend had gone off to college and decided there were other boys she wanted to have sex with. Anyway, in my Res, there was a cute French girl on my floor that I liked to chat with while we cooked our meals in the communal kitchen. Anyway, our floor in Res went out a few times as a group, and this girl - Marie-France - and I got more and more acquainted. Eventually we ended up watching movies together, studying together, talking together... etc...

Anyway, eventually we decided to turn it up a notch, and ended up just stroking eachother for a few hours - not sexually, just light touching everywhere - arms, legs, face, very sensual. The next night, we ended up kissing eachother and touching, etc... Anyway, we talked for awhile and it turned out we were both virgins. I was a bit hesistant, so we waited a few weeks. It wasn't about pressure, or trying to 'hold on to virginity', I just wasn't sure if I was ready with her particularly. Anyway, things kept going well, so eventually we ended up in bed together, naked, and very horny.

My first time was actually pretty relaxed, and I didn't feel pressured or anxious at all. I guess I've always been comfortable and curious about sexuality, so I was more just intrigued and excited than anxious. Anyway, I took my time and touched her all over, played with all her lovely little bits until she was good and horny. Then, when it came time to enter her, I let her push herself to a comfortable depth, and we went from there. After a few minutes of great thrusting and rubbing of her clitoris, she came to a shuddering - but very quiet - orgasm. It was the first female orgasm I'd actually been present for in person - and it was fantastic! She was very pleased, but also very sensitive. So, I stopped with the clitoris and went on just thrusting for a while longer until I orgasmed as well.

Afterwards we talked about it, and she mentioned she'd been an occasional masturbator since she was in her early teens (no surprise for me! heh)... So, she'd already been accustomed to occasionally having things in her vagina, which probably helped to ease any pain she might have felt - although, she was used to very slim household objects, and she noted that the penis had considerably more girth, but still felt fantastic after some initial stretchy-pain.

All-in-all, we both agreed it was a very good first time!

Now, three years later, I think I'll finish up this post and slip into bed... avec ma belle, petite copine!

Last edited by Dachande (30-07-07 13:29:27)

tryggvi · 17-04-07 16:08:43

Blind_Ryan wrote:

What does woman taste like? I've never been able to get a clear answer on that one.

Nectar of the Gods!

xantar · 18-04-07 02:02:29

This is a tricky question.

My first time was with a 17 y/o girl I knew in high school, but that may not be appropriate to post as it was the age of consent in my state, but I know it's not kosher to talk about it on the internet since it would be illegal in most places.

Um, the next time I had sex was with my first serious girlfriend, and both her and I just blocked it out of our memories since it was so awkward.

I guess the first time I had good sex with someone who meant something and was over 18 was two years later when I was 22, and that was with my now ex fiancee and really she was the first woman I had met that liked having sex with me.

It's kind of weird though. I grew up very religious and in the South, and honestly believed in waiting until marriage, but then I went to college and realized that was all bunk because I was an adult, and unlike everyone else I wasn't going to marry right out of high school. So when I finally id lose my virginity I had no regrets even though it was a one night stand (and even worse she had a boyfriend!), but my biggest regret was that now I was really horny all the time as I knew what I had been missing. I nearly went mad because as I said it was another two years before I really had a sex again.

Khanada Faye · 19-04-07 06:17:46

I've just read through this whole thread and have quite enjoyed hearing about the varied experiences you all have had.

As for me, I suppose I'm lucky enough to say that my first time was pretty special. I was twenty-four years old, and I had been dating the person I was with for four months. He knew I was a virgin and basically allowed me to make all of the moves, even though I would have liked a bit more initiative on his part! (he was not a virgin--he was twenty-two, a month shy of twenty-three). The first night that we tried it, it actually hurt so much that we had to stop. I was incredibly tight--I had never inserted anything inside me, so it truly was uncharted territory . But a few nights later, I was determined to try again--it had nothing to do with wanting to get rid of my virginity, I was in no hurry to do that, but I desperately wanted it to be with this man, and so I was pretty determined! I remember he lit candles all around the room, and we'd had a bit to drink because I wanted to loosen my physical tension a bit. Our second attempt was successful--he was so careful with me, always checking to make sure I was okay. I cried a little with the pain, and after a while we stopped and he just held me. Even though it hurt, it was an emotionally very comforting experience, and I remember it with nothing but true fondness.

Four years later, we're still happily in love and living together--he followed me clear across the country when I went to graduate school, and I have followed him back. After our first six months together, I left for AZ, but he still had a year left in his masters program and couldn't move west until the following summer, at which point we lived together for a year. The year after that, my last year in the MFA program in AZ, he got a professorship at a community college three hours away, which we couldn't pass up, even though it meant another school year of distance between us. But we made it work, and that distance often rekindled a lot of the passion between us that simmered a bit when things became more comfortable and domestic. Now we're back east, where he is in a doctoral program. If there's anyone on here dealing with a long-distance relationship, I greatly sympathize--I can also say that webcams definitely help! Phone sex, too, is an incredibly intimate and exciting thing to explore. It was always so hard, that first year apart, not to dissolve into frenzied breathing at merely hearing the sound of the other's voice, and it added an exciting new dimension to things, because it often involved fantasy description. You know, "If you were here right now, this is what I'd be doing to you..."

I think the way we deal with virginity--I can speak most confidently about the States--is remarkably bizarre. It's distressing how much money our government spends on abstinence programs (which have proven pretty ineffective), yet the point of such things--to keep teenagers from having sex before marriage--conflicts so strongly with biology. Apparently, the average age that teenagers are having sex for the first time is somewhere in the 14-15 range (I'll have to find the article from which I gleaned this--it was one that discussed the effectiveness of the abstinence programs, recently released). As a society, we generally think that 14 is much, much too young, and yet that is precisely the time when our bodies realize that they are, indeed, ready to do this. It's the point of puberty. Centuries ago, it was marriageable age. To expect people to remain virgins into their twenties is a tall order, and it's no surprise that the call of biology often wins out .

For me, the decision to wait was emotional--I personally wanted it to be with someone I was in love with. I had been in a relationship prior to this one--a long-distance one from the start--but chose to wait. I'm glad I did, though I would never say that that's what everyone should do. It certainly wasn't an easy decision--I've always had a very strong libido, which reared its pretty head around the time I turned eleven and went on fairly strongly from there.

There's also another first I'm looking forward to, whenever it may happen: my first time with a woman. My boyfriend, lovely man that he is, understands (and actually was quicker to identify than I was) my shifting sexual preferences and fully supports my desire to experience another woman, knowing full well he will not be involved (this is largely because I simply couldn't handle seeing him with another woman. Another man, yes, but that's not something he's interested in). I don't know if this would ever happen, but it's something I fantasize about on a regular basis (IFM certainly helps!). Deb, I've been following your story and hope that, one day, I will find myself in similar circumstances! I hope yours continues to unfold toward deeper and even more intimate things.

Yikes, I've rambled quite a bit here. I apologize! Thank you for starting this thread, it was nice to reminisce.

0beron · 20-04-07 11:42:16

When I was ten years old I lived three houses away from the most beautiful girl in the entire world and she was my girlfriend.

She'd been my girlfriend since around the time I'd moved into the street a few years earlier. We didn't always get to hang around together as much as we wanted, but I knew she was my girlfriend because I didn't mind if she kissed me while other people were watching.

I'll call her Eve, because she was the first woman.

One summer we were swimming the backyard pool (Eve had a trampoline, I had a pool: we were made for each other) playing kiss-chasey. I used to swim around the circumference of the pool while she tried to catch me. If she caught me she got to kiss me. She was a year older than I and a good swimmer, so she'd usually catch me. If I wanted to I could get away by diving and wriggling away along the bottom of the pool - I could stay under longer than her. Quite often I didn't dive.

Today Eve had something she wanted to tell me. She'd had the sex-ed, and was going to explain it all. I'd heard the rumors - everyone had heard the rumors, you know, about why girls had to sit down to piss, about how so-and-so had walked in on his sister when she was naked with her boyfriend. And from time to time tearing around the dunes down at the beach we'd find scraps of sun-bleached porn. Once I'd found a piece in which it looked like a woman had a penis in her mouth. That couldn't be right, could it?

But Eve had had the sex-ed, which meant she'd been given the straight dope. For Eve, all of those rumors had been lined up against a wall and shot. No longer would they hold any resonance for her. She. Knew.

And, she told. Right there in the pool.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was outraged and disgusted. I started circling the pool again, yelling out for her to stop. She was laughing, but merciless. Eventually she cornered me, made me listen. I couldn't push her away, couldn't touch her.

She wanted to see mine, and I wouldn't get out of the pool because - O embarassing - my body had chosen that moment to get an erection. Eventually I agreed to let her look underwater. Eve grabbed the goggles and ducked down. Like always she couldn't hold her breath and came up gasping. Then it was my turn. I took the goggles and dived, and she pulled down the front of her bikini bottoms, then quickly pulled them up, pulled them down, then up. She wasn't playing fair so I grabbed her hand and made her pull them right down.

Nothing was being said. We couldn't even look at each other I kept trying to think of some light-hearted remark, some joke that would make all the horribleness go away, that would restore the bright, beautiful world of ten minutes previous. I threw the goggles down toward the deep end, pulled off my bathers, and went and sat down in the water, on the steps. She followed me and sat next to me docilely. I felt her hand exploring. Suddenly she got up, fiddled with her bikini bottoms and sat down on my lap.

I didn't know whether I was in or out. I wanted to be in, but was afraid to do anything. Some terrible feeling was clawing it's way up inside me, some shame at having done something irredeemably adult, like smoking, or drinking coffee. She had her back to me. I studied her freckles, the knot that held her bikini top on. My stomach was knotted too. We were both too petrified to move.

At last I got up the nerve to timidly touch her beautiful hair, to start to put my arms around her. She sprang away and that was that.

The usual thing is to say that everything changed after that, but really it didn't. We stayed friends for another year, and then she started going to secondary school. It moved her out of my orbit, and we hardly saw each other at all. I was having problems at school, being bullied. One day I found a gap where I could crawl under the main school building and often during recesses I'd crawl in there and lie in the dust, next to the foundation, listening to people walking and running on the floorboards overhead. I got to like it there.

One afternoon I walked down to where her house was, let myself into the backyard and saw Eve sitting next to the trampoline with an older boy I didn't recognise. They were facing each other, and hadn't seen me. Something about her face, the way she looked at him, made me turn and go home and never, ever come back even though she was only three houses up. For about a year afterwards I thought I was going to die. I thought I was dying. I kept it to myself.

LeoBloom · 09-05-20 09:15:47

The only aspect of my own first (and second) experience that seems to have been in any way different (at any rate, I've never heard it mentioned before) is that when I'd come and we were lying there with my penis still inside her, I just started laughing uncontrollably. It wasn't a "Whoo hoo! I've done it!" laugh, but just sheer physical delight in the unfamiliar, slightly ticklish, soft, semi-liquid dimension my prick was in. After those first two times, I suppose I just got used to it and it didn't have that effect any longer.
By the way, I have never - never - had sex with a virgin. Being nearly 70, it looks as if I've left it a bit late to experience that one.

_redbird_ · 07-07-20 09:18:04

My first time was with my first "real" boyfriend (meaning that we'd been together for more than 2 weeks) called Nathan. I was almost 16 and he was almost 17. He was good friends with one of my best friends and I'd had a crush on him the year prior, and even tried holding his hand while several of us were in my friend's lounge room watching Blade, but I was intensely awkward and gawky and he was dating the resident "bad girl" of my year level, so wasn't interested then. I'd had a crush on about 12 other people by the time he got around to liking me a year later, and I think my general indifference to him by that time was quite appealing and after another social hang with our mutual friend, he realised that we lived right near each other and we made plans to catch up soon.

My school was extremely rough but also small and gossipy, and whenever I would date someone, they would usually be from another town or school (yes I was the nerd that talked about their boyfriend that "you wouldn't know, because they go to another school") and people rarely believed me. My boyfriend Nathan had left school by this stage and was an apprentice chef, and when he did still attend school he was considered rather cool and was quite good looking, especially considering how slim the pickings were at my particular learning institution. He also grew and sold weed and lived with his Mum and older brother, both of whom had some slight mental impairment and previous drug addictions so he was the primary carer of his family. He was patient and kind and was really an amazing boyfriend.

When we first got together I was keen to get straight to it, even though he was very respectful and would constantly tell me that we didn't have to do anything until I was ready. I remember trying to have sex after 2 weeks, but as we were both virgins and didn't really understand the concept and importance of lubrication or just generally being used to penetration (I still had never even used a tampon, and masturbation was strictly clitoral) we were unable to successfully get his penis inside me. I would bunk off school and we'd spend hours in his bed giving each other hand jobs and he would go down on me for much longer and more skillfully than most other boys his age. I never had an orgasm while with him, but I would get very close and very wet, and sometimes even thought that I'd had an orgasm, even though it turns out we were just edging all the time. Eventually after about a month and a half we decided to try to have sex. He came over to my house when my Mum was at work and I made him a frozen vegetarian pizza and we watched The Crow (my favourite movie at the time). We started making out and then took it to my tiny bedroom and played Glycerine by Bush on repeat for some reason that I still don't fully understand. It was awkward and slightly uncomfortable when he entered me but because we'd spent time warming each other up first, we had sex for about 5 minutes and then he came. He cried with emotion and thanked me and I can remember feeling extremely guilty that I didn't feel the need to cry, as by this stage my fickle teenage self was starting to lose interest in him a bit. We never had penetrative sex again, and about three weeks later I broke up with him.

It was another 2 years until I would have sex again, as I had a pretty strongly held lack of opinion for the guys that went to my school and even most of the people in my town. It was a 29 year old dude from Liechtenstein that I met in a hostel when I'd run away from home that supplied me with what I would go on to consider my first time having "real" sex, meaning that it felt very similar to what most sex would feel like after that.

rushaus · 10-07-20 06:47:40

Just went through my email to confirm my age at the time. I was 29, and contacted a sex worker who had travelled to Melbourne for Supanova.

I have social anxiety disorder, and can be quite particular with my personal space. I was fucking terrified Damn near jammed myself through the wall when she sat next to me on the couch.

I had communicated this to her before our booking however, and she was wonderfully patient and understanding. I still see her whenever she visits, even if I can only afford a brief social date.

viva · 10-07-20 08:14:49

wow! this thread was so old I was sure I'd have already answered years ago, but it looks like it's so old it was before even my time!

redbird wow. i loved reading your story. I feel like yours reminds me of so many teen movies and things I never experienced.. dating in high school, having a boyfriend, all that stuff. I love that he cried and I love how you describe feeling guilty about not feeling the same way. Do you ever talk anymore? I bet he still thinks of you.

rushaus, that's so lovely that you felt your first experience was unrushed and compassionate. I wish mine had been with a sex worker so I could have experienced something similar.

I ended up losing my virginity at 17 to James Iha in a hotel in Tokyo. He got my number after the Perfect Circle show - I was a friend of a friend. He called and I did as any 17 year old does when the guitarist in the band calls - I ditched the guys I'd picked up and went running. But I didn't really know what was going on or what to do. I thought he was lonely and wanted to speak English and hang out with a friend of a friend. I had been obsessed with sex since like 9 years old but it's one thing to talk a big game online and quite another to be in a hotel room late at night with a 35 year old man.

I tried to get him to talk to me but at some point he said to me, "sorry, but this is starting to feel like an interview". I must have gotten the message because I went to the bathroom and took off my rainbow coloured tights. I went back and sat on the bed. He sat next to me and held my hand.

Once we were having sex, he asked me if I had ever done this before. I said, "kind of". I hadn't. I don't remember how the sex felt, but I remembered I had to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

I bled on the sheets. I slept there. In the morning I asked him to call me a taxi, he wouldn't. I asked if I could take one of the amazing hotel pillows, he said no. I left and walked the whole way home, lost in Tokyo because his hotel was in a weird place I didn't know where I was, the days before google maps and smart phones. But crying too hard to use public transport or ask directions. It must have taken me over 6 hours to get back to my apartment.

Now that I am 34, nearly the age he was when he had sex with me, I feel so protective of my wild, rough, precocious teenage self, and so confused as to what he was thinking. Did he think I was a woman? He knew my age. I still look young now - I would have looked so freakin' young back then then. I would have been so vulnerable and bumbling. Just a kid! Not even a cool groupie kind of teenager you could mistake for a 20-something year old. How could he let me reassure him? Did I flirt by accident? Should I have known he was calling for sex?

I used to think this story was really cool. I bragged about it and was proud of it - better a rock star than some guy who didn't care about me in the back of a car at prom kind of thing. But now that I'm older I realise it's a creepy ass weird story. Not really cool and equally as sad as the back of the car prom stereotype. I wish my first time had been nice, with someone who cared about me

smoothed · 10-07-20 10:01:32

viva wrote:

wow! this thread was so old I was sure I'd have already answered years ago, but it looks like it's so old it was before even my time!
redbird wow. i loved reading your story. I feel like yours reminds me of so many teen movies and things I never experienced.. dating in high school, having a boyfriend, all that stuff. I love that he cried and I love how you describe feeling guilty about not feeling the same way. Do you ever talk anymore? I bet he still thinks of you.
rushaus, that's so lovely that you felt your first experience was unrushed and compassionate. I wish mine had been with a sex worker so I could have experienced something similar.
I ended up losing my virginity at 17 to James Iha in a hotel in Tokyo. He got my number after the Perfect Circle show - I was a friend of a friend. He called and I did as any 17 year old does when the guitarist in the band calls - I ditched the guys I'd picked up and went running. But I didn't really know what was going on or what to do. I thought he was lonely and wanted to speak English and hang out with a friend of a friend. I had been obsessed with sex since like 9 years old but it's one thing to talk a big game online and quite another to be in a hotel room late at night with a 35 year old man.
I tried to get him to talk to me but at some point he said to me, "sorry, but this is starting to feel like an interview". I must have gotten the message because I went to the bathroom and took off my rainbow coloured tights. I went back and sat on the bed. He sat next to me and held my hand.
Once we were having sex, he asked me if I had ever done this before. I said, "kind of". I hadn't. I don't remember how the sex felt, but I remembered I had to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.
I bled on the sheets. I slept there. In the morning I asked him to call me a taxi, he wouldn't. I asked if I could take one of the amazing hotel pillows, he said no. I left and walked the whole way home, lost in Tokyo because his hotel was in a weird place I didn't know where I was, the days before google maps and smart phones. But crying too hard to use public transport or ask directions. It must have taken me over 6 hours to get back to my apartment.
Now that I am 34, nearly the age he was when he had sex with me, I feel so protective of my wild, rough, precocious teenage self, and so confused as to what he was thinking. Did he think I was a woman? He knew my age. I still look young now - I would have looked so freakin' young back then then. I would have been so vulnerable and bumbling. Just a kid! Not even a cool groupie kind of teenager you could mistake for a 20-something year old. How could he let me reassure him? Did I flirt by accident? Should I have known he was calling for sex?
I used to think this story was really cool. I bragged about it and was proud of it - better a rock star than some guy who didn't care about me in the back of a car at prom kind of thing. But now that I'm older I realise it's a creepy ass weird story. Not really cool and equally as sad as the back of the car prom stereotype. I wish my first time had been nice, with someone who cared about me

Viva, thank you for sharing this. Yeah, I know what you mean. This story, even though it has so many things going for it (a creepy hotel room! losing your virginity to a rock star celeb! tokyo!), has its lustre dulled and diminished with time and with experience. Like how you found your way back to your apartment, I think you eventually found your way to where you belong, through tears and sore, bleeding feet, many years later.

perfectlysexy · 11-07-20 02:42:27

viva wrote:

I wish my first time had been nice, with someone who cared about me

I wish that for you too. It's really the best way to start and still seems far too uncommon.

viva · 13-07-20 03:15:19

thanks guys, wow I fretted all weekend after sharing that! don't want to bring down the fun and sexy vibe - but at the same time, losing virginity is almost never fun and sexy, it's usually really weird and strange and intense and heavy! I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't keep it real.

Smoothed you're so right - it has been a long and ostensibly glamourous, internally rigourous, bloody sore and wild journey, but in the end I have found my way back home finally, to myself.

I wish so much I could live in a society heart- and sex-connected enough and shame-free and safe enough, where we could have gentle hands-on adult sex educators to initiate young people into sex. It's sad I feel like it's a viscious cycle - we can't have or consider that because so many people have had their actual sexual education neglected so thouroughly that they've become abusive and exploitative. I think it's a systemic problem of how we treat people, not an internal human nature issue. Nonetheless my dream society would be unthinkable in today's world.

_redbird_ · 14-07-20 09:09:34

viva wrote:

wow! this thread was so old I was sure I'd have already answered years ago, but it looks like it's so old it was before even my time!
redbird wow. i loved reading your story. I feel like yours reminds me of so many teen movies and things I never experienced.. dating in high school, having a boyfriend, all that stuff. I love that he cried and I love how you describe feeling guilty about not feeling the same way. Do you ever talk anymore? I bet he still thinks of you.

I saw him on a crowded street once not long after breaking up and we awkwardly waved at each other, but that's it. My oldest sister and Mum have bumped into him a few times over the years though (as he still lives in my hometown). He's a rather successful head chef in a fancy restaurant and has a wife and a couple kids, which is something he always wanted and is something he would be good at, as he was always very kind and fatherly to his friends and family. Occasionally I stalk him on the various social medias and it makes me incredibly happy to know that he achieved what he set out to do after seeing the beginning of that goal some twenty years ago. I have too much (still felt) guilt over not appreciating him at the time and for being a shit fickle teen, but I often feel tempted to contact him to catch up. I would often find it weird that I ended up getting the "ideal" way to lose my virginity, as I was always attracted to older men and was quite self destructive a lot of my teen years, so if I were to drunkenly lose it to a twenty-something I wouldn't have been surprised. I also never thought of my virginity as something "special" like a lot of my friends did.

viva wrote:

thanks guys, wow I fretted all weekend after sharing that! don't want to bring down the fun and sexy vibe - but at the same time, losing virginity is almost never fun and sexy, it's usually really weird and strange and intense and heavy! I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't keep it real.
Smoothed you're so right - it has been a long and ostensibly glamourous, internally rigourous, bloody sore and wild journey, but in the end I have found my way back home finally, to myself.
I wish so much I could live in a society heart- and sex-connected enough and shame-free and safe enough, where we could have gentle hands-on adult sex educators to initiate young people into sex. It's sad I feel like it's a viscious cycle - we can't have or consider that because so many people have had their actual sexual education neglected so thouroughly that they've become abusive and exploitative. I think it's a systemic problem of how we treat people, not an internal human nature issue. Nonetheless my dream society would be unthinkable in today's world.

Viva I remember your story, and envied you immensely at the time which makes me even more sad now. I hate the thought of 17 year old Viva wandering around Tokyo sad and scared. You feel invincible when you're a teen, and if an attractive (and/or) famous person gives you attention it's hard to resist and even harder to see how problematic situations like that are. You're 100% correct about losing one's virginity. It's rare for it to be good and I know more people that had regrettable or forgettable first times than not.

rushaus · 15-07-20 09:23:34

viva wrote:

rushaus, that's so lovely that you felt your first experience was unrushed and compassionate. I wish mine had been with a sex worker so I could have experienced something similar.

I do wish that it was more common. I'm sorry that your first experienced happened the way it did.

privignus · 15-07-20 23:30:06

* jedi hug* Viva! And yes, LeoBloom, women feel awesome!

The first time I was with a woman was in the bedroom of a sauna club in Europe. I was about 30. The way these work is that you go in, pay an entrance fee and collect a bathrobe and a towel and a pair of sandals, and change. Then there is a bar type space with snacks and drinks and saunas and hot tubs and lots of naked or mostly naked ladies. So many beautiful ladies! This particular club had a rule that the gentlemen had to make contact so after some eye flirting I picked out a woman we'll call K. and went over. Its hard to make small talk with a topless woman when you are deciding if you trust her enough to let her kiss you different places! We negotiated a price and she made arrangements for a room and lead me upstairs and opened my robe to see what kind of fish she had caught.

The rooms have a big bed with just sheets and a shower and some mirrors and pillows. We had a shower together (warm wet women feel awesome!) and toweled each other off and got on to the bed. We did different things but in the end she finished me off with her hand and I think by the end her wrist was getting tired. Just having her kneel beside me in the darkness touching and stroking while my hands moved on her inner thighs and ass felt so good that I would not have minded if everything stayed in my body! We settled up payment and she invited me for another round later so I don't think I annoyed her too much.

Since then, I have tried to be better at communicating to lovers that if I jizz I jizz but its not a big deal. Spending naked time with a beautiful woman is great regardless! Its hard if you and your partner don't know each other well though, people don't always believe your words. Ideas like "healthy young guys get hard and ejaculate at the drop of a panty" can make it hard to be with the one you are with.

viva · 16-07-20 02:22:15

I love your story priv! I feel like thats such a nice way for it to be - so consensual, so understood whats going to happen, everything safe and nice. and the sauna style entrance into connection sounds so good too. clothes off first, so you can meet in warmth and openness.

privignus · 17-07-20 09:40:31

You're welcome viva! I have never shared it but you and oberon told such personal things.

I am glad that I picked someone more experienced, but I think whenever two people have sex for the first time, there are issues with communication and expectations and bodies. That can be part of the fun!

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