Has the forum gotten duller since Viva left?

MS2020 · 18-06-22 03:48:15

I've been reluctant to post this despite having thought about it for a long time. Because I really don't want to seem ungrateful for the what this site already has to offer. But one thing I've enjoyed as much as the video content have been the lively discussion about sex (and other stuff).

I don't find many venues with opportunities to openly discuss the sexual side of life. So I welcome the chance to raise points of discussion, but have been holding off because I don't feel confident that anyone would care enough to contribute now.

I respect Viva's decision to step down when she did, but I feels like a gap has yet to be filled. There are so many fascination or at least amusing talking points she raised. Not just asking about varieties of experiences or influences on our sexual development. But even stories that raise larger ethical questions that really matter considering. Now it just feels like new topics don't go further than "this person is great" or "this is something I like to see." I don't even now if their is a current host anymore, but because I can't really recall anyone whose regularly been checking in and offering up news stories their passion about.

Again I don't want to sound like the "everything was better before" type. Because I am confident discussions can still be lively here. I'm just not getting a great insensitive right now to post what I'd like talks about when I'm not sure if anyone will really care.

Last edited by MS2020 (18-06-22 18:53:27)

Hangdog90 · 18-06-22 04:46:42

A like button would be good to help engagement. As it is now, the only way to respond to a post is with another post. Sometimes all you want to do is like another comment about a scene, because that person has said what you want to say.

I don't know how much content contributors are motivated by responses, I'm sure it varies, but it must be nice if you're a contributor to have people say nice things about your content, or respond to it in some way.. Recently I have very much enjoyed that Otilia and Mew have responded to posts on their content.

One thing I like about the forum here is that people are generally positive. If you don't have something positive to say, say nothing. I hated reading horrible posts about contributors on some other sites in the past, and that is one reason why this site has become the one where I prefer to spend time.

In recent months I have had more time on my hands and that has led to more posting here. But I do wish more people interacted, at times I am reluctant to post because I feel my posts are too dominant.

One very positive thing about the forums here, that people may not realise, is that they have a brilliant search function. It allows you to choose which topics or which authors or just use key words, and you can select actual posts or topics for results. Searching the forums is a great way to find content that tickles your fancy, and to follow an individual contributor.

I sometimes wonder if all subscribers realise the extra value there is in the forums. Perhaps the fact that you have to re enter password details to open the forum is a barrier? On laptop I tend to just open the home page on one tab in Firefox then right click on Forum and open it in a second tab, so both are accessible.

I do the same in Chrome on my android phone, that's even easier than on a PC. These are little ways to make the forum accessible.

Another cool feature with the forum on Chromve for mobile is that the front page has the Topics Bar at the top and you can just click on Posted, New, Active, or Unanswered which is a quick way to interact.

smoothed · 18-06-22 06:58:25

contributors come, and forum-ers come, and when we are all pleased, sometimes some will go. it's the way of life.

the forum was the singular reason that I chose to keep and renew my subscription. despite viva's departure, we still have Mew and other contributors sharing candidly and authentically. this place has always been kind and unsparing; it was like that before Viva (h/t to Liandra, Laney et al), long may it be this way.

Last edited by smoothed (18-06-22 06:58:45)

alsbosilver · 19-06-22 08:59:15

I'm very supportive of the MS2020 comments from Hangdog and Smoothed!
I have indeed noticed for some time a drop in interaction in this forum, a good number of interesting subjects are barely commented on. We have the impression that people become lazy to express themselves, to react, to bounce back...
I am also very surprised, like MS2020, that so few contributors come to participate in this forum and do not continue, after their videos, to keep a link with those who watch them and who comment on them.
One of the marvelous assets of IFM is precisely to be able to communicate either as contributors or simply spectators, which is very rare.
It often happened to me to come back to certain publications that I had made or certain subjects that were covered by saying "it seems to me that it has been a long time since we had any comments..." this sometimes revives exchanges, but often very briefly.
I really have the impression that very few of us like to write and express ourselves. And how many admiring comments about this or that contributor remain unanswered... Except Mew who takes an active part in many discussions. And also Ottilia or Mikaela sometimes
Perhaps this topic launched by MS2020 will wake up discussions?
Christian (France)

Hangdog90 · 19-06-22 14:31:09

Happiness is love.

When we create friendships online with like-minded people, we create a loving community.

A forum on a site like this pre-selects people with a common interest and sensibility, and many overlapping shared values.

A lively forum offers a chance to share thoughts about life, love, friendships and pleasure, that transcend our individual selves.

I have learned so much over the past few months from transcribing contributor profiles, because the act of transcribing makes me truly listen and absorb them. My admiration for these contributors, their courage and their intellect, has grown and grown. Arising from doing this I have gotten in touch separately with two former contributors, Liandra Dahl and Charlie Forde, and had very good, heartwarming online interactions with them.

The pandemic changed my life from one of constant international travel to zero international travel since March 2020. In recent months I came to appreciate my IFM subscription more and to realise that it could be a place for friendships. That continues to sustain me.

Each of us has their own story, and every story is unique. But we can take advantage of what we have in common here in these forums.

Namaste.

_redbird_ · 21-06-22 01:50:33

I definitely agree that the forums have been less active and interesting since Viva's departure. She was a very devoted and engaging participant for sure and I also miss her.

Speaking personally, I used to be slightly hesitant to post here because I felt intimidated by Viva's amazing topics and discussions, and she was a clear favourite around here that I wondered if there was even any point? I'd work quite hard on some posts and get very little interaction (minus a couple seemingly now gone or quiet subs who seemed to like them). I understand that this happens to everyone, and I'd try not to take it personally but it would be occasionally a bit disheartening.

In more recent interactions I've been deterred by the feeling like I had to defend my own personal thoughts and feelings, and discussion in general was a bit more abrasive and a lot less fun so was put off by feeling like I was in a reddit forum.

I would actually like to interact more, but won't try to force anything.

Mew · 21-06-22 02:13:25

I feel exactly the same way Redbird! I've killed threads with responses before oops. I'm also kinda lowbrow and I love dumb shit so sometimes I feel a bit silly and uninteresting on here lol. I don't often have time for long responses either, so TLDR is for sure a thing.

As well as that I think there are some forum members who could be a little more respectful of contrib's space and what they feel comfortable talking about - if we want to interact we will, if we don't no amount of badgering will change our minds (if anything it's completely off-putting). Oh and it's never ok to comment negatively or even critically on a contributor, never ever. Thankfully that doesn't come up often.

Viva was the best hostess ever and a great instigator when it came to interesting topics, not to mention an excellent writer! But for the most part it's cute and fun on here even if it's a little slow these days.

Mikaela · 21-06-22 02:13:54

I loveee to chat about all things sex, pleasure, and masturbation For me, it's a "not enough time" thing rather a "not interested" thing. However, I am hoping this well change very soon!

_redbird_ · 21-06-22 04:05:12

Mew wrote:

I feel exactly the same way Redbird! I've killed threads with responses before oops. I'm also kinda lowbrow and I love dumb shit so sometimes I feel a bit silly and uninteresting on here lol. I don't often have time for long responses either, so TLDR is for sure a thing.
As well as that I think there are some forum members who could be a little more respectful of contrib's space and what they feel comfortable talking about - if we want to interact we will, if we don't no amount of badgering will change our minds (if anything it's completely off-putting). Oh and it's never ok to comment negatively or even critically on a contributor, never ever. Thankfully that doesn't come up often.
Viva was the best hostess ever and a great instigator when it came to interesting topics, not to mention an excellent writer! But for the most part it's cute and fun on here even if it's a little slow these days.

This reply is incredibly validating and reassuring thank you Mew! I love your posts and comments too btw. I've found so many songs and bands from you! Also FEEL YOU on the feeling a bit silly and uninteresting front. Quite often I'll think of non-sexual things I want to post but assume no one will like or be interested by it, and because it's just some dumb thing I like rather than a brilliantly written and well thought out essay about sexy sex times I pretty much always decide not to post it.

alsbosilver · 21-06-22 08:51:57

_redbird_ wrote:

I definitely agree that the forums have been less active and interesting since Viva's departure. She was a very devoted and engaging participant for sure and I also miss her.
Speaking personally, I used to be slightly hesitant to post here because I felt intimidated by Viva's amazing topics and discussions, and she was a clear favourite around here that I wondered if there was even any point? I'd work quite hard on some posts and get very little interaction (minus a couple seemingly now gone or quiet subs who seemed to like them). I understand that this happens to everyone, and I'd try not to take it personally but it would be occasionally a bit disheartening.
In more recent interactions I've been deterred by the feeling like I had to defend my own personal thoughts and feelings, and discussion in general was a bit more abrasive and a lot less fun so was put off by feeling like I was in a reddit forum.
I would actually like to interact more, but won't try to force anything.

But, it seems to me that all your interventions were always very interesting and relevant, dear Redbird. In all the topics that are discussed, I think you have your say! In any case we will be happy to read you more often and that you give us your news!

Christian (Frence)

alsbosilver · 21-06-22 08:54:10

Mikaela wrote:

I loveee to chat about all things sex, pleasure, and masturbation For me, it's a "not enough time" thing rather a "not interested" thing. However, I am hoping this well change very soon!

So that's a good reason, indeed, because your discussions and participation are always exciting and lively. I have fond memories of a few conversations we had...

Christian (France)

alsbosilver · 21-06-22 08:57:54

Mew wrote:

I feel exactly the same way Redbird! I've killed threads with responses before oops. I'm also kinda lowbrow and I love dumb shit so sometimes I feel a bit silly and uninteresting on here lol. I don't often have time for long responses either, so TLDR is for sure a thing.
As well as that I think there are some forum members who could be a little more respectful of contrib's space and what they feel comfortable talking about - if we want to interact we will, if we don't no amount of badgering will change our minds (if anything it's completely off-putting). Oh and it's never ok to comment negatively or even critically on a contributor, never ever. Thankfully that doesn't come up often.
Viva was the best hostess ever and a great instigator when it came to interesting topics, not to mention an excellent writer! But for the most part it's cute and fun on here even if it's a little slow these days.

But you are a very cultured girl, Mew, in music, in painting, in literature and all your discussions are very interesting. You also know how to capture the photos of the videos you edit, we love these subjects! And you have a great sensitivity that is perceived. And we love to see you masturbating...!

Christian (France)

alsbosilver · 21-06-22 09:10:45

Hangdog90 wrote:

Happiness is love.
When we create friendships online with like-minded people, we create a loving community.
A forum on a site like this pre-selects people with a common interest and sensibility, and many overlapping shared values.
A lively forum offers a chance to share thoughts about life, love, friendships and pleasure, that transcend our individual selves.
I have learned so much over the past few months from transcribing contributor profiles, because the act of transcribing makes me truly listen and absorb them. My admiration for these contributors, their courage and their intellect, has grown and grown. Arising from doing this I have gotten in touch separately with two former contributors, Liandra Dahl and Charlie Forde, and had very good, heartwarming online interactions with them.
The pandemic changed my life from one of constant international travel to zero international travel since March 2020. In recent months I came to appreciate my IFM subscription more and to realise that it could be a place for friendships. That continues to sustain me.
Each of us has their own story, and every story is unique. But we can take advantage of what we have in common here in these forums.
Namaste.

I share your opinion so much, dear Hangdog!
You have transformed the use of this site by your fabulous transcription work which, for non-English speaking people, makes all these contributors who are part of our daily lives (well for me) much more present and alive.
Like you, I noticed that being filmed masturbating was for many women a proof of courage, of surpassing oneself and of valuing their body and their emotions. And I really admire their approach. Whether we like it or not, we are all close friends, those who masturbate in front of those who offer us this gift which seems to enrich them personally.
You are a very important link in this friendly and affectionate chain through your many comments and all the answers you provide as often as possible.
When you say: "I made contact with two contributors", how did you do it? Is it possible to contact such and such a contributor directly to tell them of our admiration, ask them a few questions, bring them a little closer? This is the wish that I have always made! Thanks for all you do here

Christian (France)

Hangdog90 · 21-06-22 18:35:52

alsbosilver wrote:

When you say: "I made contact with two contributors", how did you do it? Is it possible to contact such and such a contributor directly to tell them of our admiration, ask them a few questions, bring them a little closer? This is the wish that I have always made! Thanks for all you do here
Christian (France)

Thanks for the compliments. As you know, my upbringing was Catholic and while I left the institutional Church behind long ago, I was always guided by the beautiful Prayer of St Francis, as a way to try and live the best life:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I don't always manage to live up to these standards, but they provide a compass, and often when I find myself in conflict, I go back to these words, which as a schoolboy I recited every morning as part of a group prayer.

So truly, I have derived joy from working on these transcripts and deepened my own appreciation on the contributos in a way that I would have missed, had I not decided to do some giving to you. I have received much in return, and my enjoyment of this site and its community is deep.

As far as your question in quotes -

The two contributors are people who have made themselves publicly know as sex workers in Australia. Helen Corday and Charlie Forde. Both are on Twitter and both have their own web sites, Charlie Forde's being quite an active one as far as she now produces her own porn scenes and interviews. Helen has more of a focus on in-person sexual services but she has a very thoughtful blog about issues like what a sex worker needs to decide about plastic surgery as she ages, and the impact those decisions have on you personally, whichever way the choice goes.

Last edited by Hangdog90 (21-06-22 18:44:19)

MS2020 · 21-06-22 22:28:09

Appreciate all the feedback.

Let be clear (if it wasn't already) that my interest was in topics other the video content. When I talked about contributors I only meant writing or pictures in the forums. My interest is in discussion of larger topics like what we've got going on now.

I get why many people welcome hearing positive feedback about work that leaves them vulnerable. Likewise I agree that it wouldn't be right to criticize something whose choosing to bear their hearts and bodies to be totally themselves. Yet that's also why I rarely felt like saying much about them. I don't feel right about raising concerns that might come across as judgmental and I'm not great with simple praise. Because I'm not much into writing what I wouldn't feel like reading.

If I put out something I've created and someone bothers to write about it, then I hope to learn something from there outlook. Of course I prefer positive feedback to negative, but not if it's just short and sweet when it sound just like every greeting card you've ever read. If all they have to say about my work is "that's wonderful" it's really about as useless to me "that's terrible." Even disapproval can sometimes be helpful is someone knows who to say it right. But I can see why that doesn't apply well to the kind of work you make here.

I need details or I'm left with too many questions. Same with how I write. Which is why I constantly have to try modifying the length of my content. So I get why some folks with Mew wouldn't be keen on reading this and if I could make this posts shorter while getting everything I mean to say out I would. It's just how my mind works.

Last edited by MS2020 (28-06-22 18:03:18)

MS2020 · 21-06-22 22:39:08

_redbird_ wrote:

I definitely agree that the forums have been less active and interesting since Viva's departure. She was a very devoted and engaging participant for sure and I also miss her.
Speaking personally, I used to be slightly hesitant to post here because I felt intimidated by Viva's amazing topics and discussions, and she was a clear favourite around here that I wondered if there was even any point? I'd work quite hard on some posts and get very little interaction (minus a couple seemingly now gone or quiet subs who seemed to like them). I understand that this happens to everyone, and I'd try not to take it personally but it would be occasionally a bit disheartening.
In more recent interactions I've been deterred by the feeling like I had to defend my own personal thoughts and feelings, and discussion in general was a bit more abrasive and a lot less fun so was put off by feeling like I was in a reddit forum.
I would actually like to interact more, but won't try to force anything.

I get what you mean about being reluctant to put yourself in a vulnerable position. Because the possibility of inviting trolls and gadflies can be a major turn off and even emotional draining.

Still the people here do seem pretty reasonable for the most part and I'm looking forward to trying out new topics of consideration real soon.

And definitely no pressure on anyone who doesn't feel like getting involved.

Last edited by MS2020 (26-06-22 00:26:36)

maurice_B · 24-06-22 16:20:39

smoothed wrote:

contributors come, and forum-ers come, and when we are all pleased, sometimes some will go. it's the way of life.

I’ve always admired this kind of unsentimental mindset that comes hard to me, but it’s a welcome wake-up call. It’s also hard to argue with.

True, Viva was a gem in so many ways: smart and articulate, interested in people and engaging, full of intriguing ideas, and a word wizard to boot. I appreciate that some of you guys may have felt a bit intimidated by her posts (I seem to remember even Charlotte V saying something along those lines, and she's hardly a shy one). However, even though I’ve been pretty mute myself here in recent months I’ve always loved reading from each and every contributor on this forum and can only encourage you people to keep sharing whatever’s on your mind – I’d say very few subscribers are of the judgmental type that would hold anything against you, most just really enjoy interacting with actual contributors.

Hangdog90 wrote:

One thing I like about the forum here is that people are generally positive. If you don't have something positive to say, say nothing. I hated reading horrible posts about contributors on some other sites in the past, and that is one reason why this site has become the one where I prefer to spend time.

This.

alsbosilver · 25-06-22 08:21:06

Hangdog90 wrote:

alsbosilver wrote:
When you say: "I made contact with two contributors", how did you do it? Is it possible to contact such and such a contributor directly to tell them of our admiration, ask them a few questions, bring them a little closer? This is the wish that I have always made! Thanks for all you do here
Christian (France)
Thanks for the compliments. As you know, my upbringing was Catholic and while I left the institutional Church behind long ago, I was always guided by the beautiful Prayer of St Francis, as a way to try and live the best life:
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
I don't always manage to live up to these standards, but they provide a compass, and often when I find myself in conflict, I go back to these words, which as a schoolboy I recited every morning as part of a group prayer.
So truly, I have derived joy from working on these transcripts and deepened my own appreciation on the contributos in a way that I would have missed, had I not decided to do some giving to you. I have received much in return, and my enjoyment of this site and its community is deep.
As far as your question in quotes -
The two contributors are people who have made themselves publicly know as sex workers in Australia. Helen Corday and Charlie Forde. Both are on Twitter and both have their own web sites, Charlie Forde's being quite an active one as far as she now produces her own porn scenes and interviews. Helen has more of a focus on in-person sexual services but she has a very thoughtful blog about issues like what a sex worker needs to decide about plastic surgery as she ages, and the impact those decisions have on you personally, whichever way the choice goes.

We always feel a real depth and a real humanity through all your publications, dear friend! Thank you very much for your information regarding Helen Corday and Chralie Forde!

viva · 28-06-22 09:38:54

I'm still around! Definitely not as much as I used to be, and I sadly don't have time to create topics and posts anymore, but I am still floating around here sometimes. Redbird I love and miss you, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel intimidated, I loved your pop culture and human connection posts that were not about sex. It was kind of hard-encoded into my job to have to/get to think up sexual conversation topics and share vulnerably about my own self and sexual history. It went with the hostess territory and it was literally expected of me. It's kind of a catch 22 - I was doing it before I was approached to add it to my job description, but once it was it was definitely something I needed to keep up with. I'm so, so glad those efforts had a positive effect on the forum while it was under my watch - but yeah, no one else is expected to share in that way. And honestly again, I loved the non-sex topics, they made me really happy, gave me a different sense of the members personalities, and they were really fun to participate in.

I remember when I first started, and still now, feeling so intimidated by the ones who came before me, especially my dear, towering Gala, whose diamond sharp stillettos and/or shiny leather workboots (she's switch like that) I don't believe I ever was able to fill. She still looms so large in my archtypes, I dream about her all the time. When we meet in person I am really awkward, but she is just still one of the coolest, hottest, scariest people I know. It's weird to think I could create anything like that emotion in anyone else, since in my head I am just a super short brash annoying American girl with messy hair. But it is funny, always, how others see us differently.

For the record I was and still am crazy intimidated by Aven as well. She's so beautiful, so talented, so smart and so good at being mean to boys. She's a role model for sure.

I am so glad people enjoyed my presence on this forum and it was an honour to get to chat and connect with you all. That said I am so glad I don't do it anymore! I was simply, just so much more interested in sex when I was 23 and first arrived in Melbourne, tumbling into Feck with ferocity, curiosity, and a mad desire to be SEEN KNOWN AND FUCKED. Things are so different now. I'm 36, I'm practically married, and somehow happily monogamous, who could have seen that coming? But he is just so good. I'm studying to be a psychologist - I'd rather get your mind naked these days, than your body. I'm a volunteer birth doula, and btw, I'm pregnant too <3 - so pussy is just taking on a whole new, much more biological dimension these days.

Right now, there's nothing hotter to me than my heater. Other than the ultra-lazy, mindblowing weekend sex with my fiance. But honestly, sex-wise, there's just not that much to talk about.

and no one wants to hear me talk about roe v wade.

But redbird, if you'd revive your tv threads, me and Mew would have a whole lot to say about Star Trek! I could talk about Dune(book tho)! about teenage girls marrooned on desert islands in mysterious sci-fi conspiracy plots (the wilds, watch it, so good) About Severence (watch it omg) and I've just started Devs... and I'd love to know what you're watching...

and also, whenever Mikaela does have time, I LIVE VICARIOUSLY thru your sex parties, wild stories, baseball bat adventures, and all those visible-when-you're-wearing-a-skirt bruises... you're living adolescent me's dream life.

so yeah, it's still good around here. and I am still around, though i know it isn't quite the same. so long, and thanks for all the fish <3

Last edited by viva (28-06-22 09:43:48)

smoothed · 28-06-22 15:10:30

viva wrote:

and btw, I'm pregnant too <3

OMG congrats Viva! may you and your partner cherish and savour every moment of this new exciting journey!

viva wrote:

and no one wants to hear me talk about roe v wade.

i do. i don't think this is a time to bottle up our anger. writing it and speaking truth to it will manifest our resistance.

MS2020 · 28-06-22 18:11:41

YAY! So glad to finally hear your own take Viva. Even more happy than you're expecting! Also nice to hear even someone who makes this job look easy say they can relate to feeling intimidated.

I had actually considered starting a discussion about Roe v. Wade, but I wasn't sure if just be inviting a lot of rage and noise. Anger can be productive, but only if you know how to utilize it. I also though maybe others were coming here to escape from ongoing national drama and din't want to be reminded.

That being said I have planning to finally post a topic discussion that is rather timely. Hopefully later today. It's one of idea been siting when I was wonder if it would wind up going no where like my other attempts. Hence why I started this talk in the first place.

Last edited by MS2020 (28-06-22 18:12:10)

_redbird_ · 29-06-22 01:33:13

viva wrote:

I'm still around! Definitely not as much as I used to be, and I sadly don't have time to create topics and posts anymore, but I am still floating around here sometimes. Redbird I love and miss you, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel intimidated, I loved your pop culture and human connection posts that were not about sex. It was kind of hard-encoded into my job to have to/get to think up sexual conversation topics and share vulnerably about my own self and sexual history. It went with the hostess territory and it was literally expected of me. It's kind of a catch 22 - I was doing it before I was approached to add it to my job description, but once it was it was definitely something I needed to keep up with. I'm so, so glad those efforts had a positive effect on the forum while it was under my watch - but yeah, no one else is expected to share in that way. And honestly again, I loved the non-sex topics, they made me really happy, gave me a different sense of the members personalities, and they were really fun to participate in.
I remember when I first started, and still now, feeling so intimidated by the ones who came before me, especially my dear, towering Gala, whose diamond sharp stillettos and/or shiny leather workboots (she's switch like that) I don't believe I ever was able to fill. She still looms so large in my archtypes, I dream about her all the time. When we meet in person I am really awkward, but she is just still one of the coolest, hottest, scariest people I know. It's weird to think I could create anything like that emotion in anyone else, since in my head I am just a super short brash annoying American girl with messy hair. But it is funny, always, how others see us differently.
For the record I was and still am crazy intimidated by Aven as well. She's so beautiful, so talented, so smart and so good at being mean to boys. She's a role model for sure.
I am so glad people enjoyed my presence on this forum and it was an honour to get to chat and connect with you all. That said I am so glad I don't do it anymore! I was simply, just so much more interested in sex when I was 23 and first arrived in Melbourne, tumbling into Feck with ferocity, curiosity, and a mad desire to be SEEN KNOWN AND FUCKED. Things are so different now. I'm 36, I'm practically married, and somehow happily monogamous, who could have seen that coming? But he is just so good. I'm studying to be a psychologist - I'd rather get your mind naked these days, than your body. I'm a volunteer birth doula, and btw, I'm pregnant too <3 - so pussy is just taking on a whole new, much more biological dimension these days.
Right now, there's nothing hotter to me than my heater. Other than the ultra-lazy, mindblowing weekend sex with my fiance. But honestly, sex-wise, there's just not that much to talk about.
and no one wants to hear me talk about roe v wade.
But redbird, if you'd revive your tv threads, me and Mew would have a whole lot to say about Star Trek! I could talk about Dune(book tho)! about teenage girls marrooned on desert islands in mysterious sci-fi conspiracy plots (the wilds, watch it, so good) About Severence (watch it omg) and I've just started Devs... and I'd love to know what you're watching...
and also, whenever Mikaela does have time, I LIVE VICARIOUSLY thru your sex parties, wild stories, baseball bat adventures, and all those visible-when-you're-wearing-a-skirt bruises... you're living adolescent me's dream life.
so yeah, it's still good around here. and I am still around, though i know it isn't quite the same. so long, and thanks for all the fish <3

Excuse me ma'am, may I admire you for a moment?? Firstly, congratulations on your bebbie news! I know you know my thoughts on little humans in general but I think you'll be an incredible Mum. You have such a warm presence and a beautiful loving heart. I think you'll be a really fun and non-judgemental parent too, which are two of the most important qualities a parent can have. Also you'll be an excellent psychologist, you're very easy to open up to, and are personable af.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will definitely try to get back into posting more, I'd love to have impassioned chats with you and Mew about sci fi! Also feeeeeel you 8 million percent re: being in awe of Gala and Aven. Every time I encounter them IRL I feel like a dorky teen trying to be calm and collected around the cool kids. When I last saw Aven, I accidentally word-vomited about my love of ancient Celtic society for what was definitely a longer amount of time than could be considered cool and calm, haha.

Love you dearly darling Viva!

viva · 29-06-22 03:31:28

awwwww thank you babyeeeeeee. your words are so kind. I am definitely going to be like the mom in sex education and my kids will be mortified hahahahahaha sex obsessed AND a psychologist?! they literally stand no chance bwahaha.

on roe - cautiously - honestly I think this is the perfect fucking place to talk about it since I've long believed no one should get our charm, our vulnerability, our breasts and pussies and nipples and orgasms without also getting the REAL REST OF US, no matter how much they want to spend to try to separate us into packages of our pleasureable parts. I'm sure we are all blown away that this could occur in 2022 and, as an American I am genuinely terrified about the precedent set - or the potential for precedent to be unset - that this moment reveals. But I also truly don't understand HOW THE FUCK CLARENCE CAN BE OUT THERE talking about undoing gay marriage, right to contraception, etc these 14 Amendment based rulings without talking about Loving v Virginia?! HOW?

I just don't get it. And has anyone seen the amazing 1996 film If These Walls Could Talk?

I saw it as a relatively young girl and it made a huge impression on me. If I could I would make everyone in America watch it. It's dark but I think everyone should watch, I wish I knew how to make bits of it go viral on tiktok. Redbird you love older films you should check it out.

Last edited by viva (29-06-22 03:33:19)

_redbird_ · 29-06-22 04:35:04

viva wrote:

awwwww thank you babyeeeeeee. your words are so kind. I am definitely going to be like the mom in sex education and my kids will be mortified hahahahahaha sex obsessed AND a psychologist?! they literally stand no chance bwahaha.

Haha omg YES you will totally be a Jean! Complete with fabulous jumpsuits and silky robes I hope?

viva wrote:

I just don't get it. And has anyone seen the amazing 1996 film If These Walls Could Talk?
I saw it as a relatively young girl and it made a huge impression on me. If I could I would make everyone in America watch it. It's dark but I think everyone should watch, I wish I knew how to make bits of it go viral on tiktok. Redbird you love older films you should check it out.

YES!! I also saw this quite young (I think maybe 11-12?) with my Mum, and absolutely loved it. I think it's a really important movie that young people should watch, they legit should show it in schools imo. Also Cher as a doctor? A thousand times yes! Its sequel is also really great, and is done in the same three story anthology style but is about lesbians instead.

Hangdog90 · 29-06-22 06:57:20

viva wrote:

on roe - cautiously - honestly I think this is the perfect fucking place to talk about it since I've long believed no one should get our charm, our vulnerability, our breasts and pussies and nipples and orgasms without also getting the REAL REST OF US, no matter how much they want to spend to try to separate us into packages of our pleasureable parts. I'm sure we are all blown away that this could occur in 2022 and, as an American I am genuinely terrified about the precedent set - or the potential for precedent to be unset - that this moment reveals. But I also truly don't understand HOW THE FUCK CLARENCE CAN BE OUT THERE talking about undoing gay marriage, right to contraception, etc these 14 Amendment based rulings without talking about Loving v Virginia?! HOW?
I just don't get it. And has anyone seen the amazing 1996 film If These Walls Could Talk?
I saw it as a relatively young girl and it made a huge impression on me. If I could I would make everyone in America watch it. It's dark but I think everyone should watch, I wish I knew how to make bits of it go viral on tiktok. Redbird you love older films you should check it out.

I am looking at this from Ireland where we passed one of the most liberal abortion laws in the world in 2018 after a referendum that followed a Citizen Assembly process that deliberated on the issue over four years. The referendum was passed with a 66.4% majorty. 35 years previous to that, Ireland had passed the eighth constitutional amendment in 1983 banning abortion constitutionally. Prior to that abortion had always been illegal, but this was not in the Constitution. Thanks to a campaign by the religious right and the Catholic Church, the givernment back then was pressured into a referendum, despite warnings that the wording would lead to some difficult and disastrous cases. As a result of this, for decades Irish women travelled to England for abortions and had no proper aftercare when they arrived home.

This decision has seemed inevitable for some time in the US, as hard as it is to believe it is here now. Your democratic system is failing badly when the courts are doing the direct opposite on fundamental issues like this, to what people want.

Ireland as a traditionally catholic and conservative country suffered from political cowardice for many years. Tens of thousands of women had abortions in England every year but hardly any politicians would suupport abortion rights, for fear of their seats being lost. The Citizens Assembly process was a genius idea of unblocking the logjam after decades of dissatisfaction and some tragic cases that arose directly from our 1983 Amendment.

You can read about this here: http://citizenassembly.ie/about/

That brings me to If These Walls Could Talk? - what a powerful film that showed three tragic stories of women in the US in 1952, 1972 and 1996.

People are not allowed protest outside hospitals where abortion is provided in Ireland.

Women and men need to get active and vote in the US mid term elections in November, so that at least you give Biden the power to force some changes to the Supreme Court. But this issue seems part of a general culture was in the US, where you seem yo have two large groups of people whose values are fundamentally at odds, and one side which does not believe in "live and let live".

I hope things will improve for you all, Viva. But the only way is activism.

Last edited by Hangdog90 (29-06-22 07:05:02)

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