A new service for IFM ?

alsbosilver · 17-08-21 08:49:59

smoothed wrote:

alsbosilver wrote:
Dear Smoothed and Privignus,
Thank you for your long and interesting posts and for your interest in my publications. I am very annoyed to see that you consider my questioning to know if I am discussing with a woman or a man, relates to an intrusion, an infringement of freedoms, any manipulation ... I want to respect the freedom of each of course. We are in a very fashionable ideological debate in which I do not want to take part because it is totally foreign to me. I wish you the best and many more emotions on the wonderful IFM!
Christian (France)
before you take umbrage and get annoyed, perhaps consider why more than one individual here on the forum is putting forward such a view on your forum posts. We've engaged you in a spirit of openness and winsomeness, I believe. And we are all here to learn. Also, if this "fashionable ideological debate" is foreign to you - one can choose to open one's mind and engage, or flee completely.
I will have to ask, Christian, if it is revealed that many of the contributors here that you greatly admire do not see this debate as merely fashionable or ideological, but necessary and fundamental to their expression of sexuality, how would that make you feel?

Thank you for your message. As I wrote, I absolutely respect everyone's freedom, just as I want my arguments to be respected as well. To say that this subject is foreign to me and that I consider it a fashionable ideological debate is only the expression of what I think deeply and I write it absolutely calmly, without getting angry or taking shady. This only binds me. Indeed, I learn a lot of things by attending this forum and I understand very well that the questions necessary for anyone to feel at ease in the expression of their sexuality are extremely varied. Don't take my comments badly, that would make me happy. They are only the expression of my culture, my generation and my education, probably and I will be careful not to come back to this subject in other comments so as not to make anyone uncomfortable ... Regards

smoothed · 17-08-21 15:29:36

alsbosilver wrote:

Thank you for your message. As I wrote, I absolutely respect everyone's freedom, just as I want my arguments to be respected as well. To say that this subject is foreign to me and that I consider it a fashionable ideological debate is only the expression of what I think deeply and I write it absolutely calmly, without getting angry or taking shady. This only binds me. Indeed, I learn a lot of things by attending this forum and I understand very well that the questions necessary for anyone to feel at ease in the expression of their sexuality are extremely varied. Don't take my comments badly, that would make me happy. They are only the expression of my culture, my generation and my education, probably and I will be careful not to come back to this subject in other comments so as not to make anyone uncomfortable ... Regards

Thanks for this Christian. Let's figure this out together one step at a time, one IFM contribution at a time, one forum post at a time!

alsbosilver · 18-08-21 07:47:03

smoothed wrote:

alsbosilver wrote:
Thank you for your message. As I wrote, I absolutely respect everyone's freedom, just as I want my arguments to be respected as well. To say that this subject is foreign to me and that I consider it a fashionable ideological debate is only the expression of what I think deeply and I write it absolutely calmly, without getting angry or taking shady. This only binds me. Indeed, I learn a lot of things by attending this forum and I understand very well that the questions necessary for anyone to feel at ease in the expression of their sexuality are extremely varied. Don't take my comments badly, that would make me happy. They are only the expression of my culture, my generation and my education, probably and I will be careful not to come back to this subject in other comments so as not to make anyone uncomfortable ... Regards
Thanks for this Christian. Let's figure this out together one step at a time, one IFM contribution at a time, one forum post at a time!

With great pleasure !

alsbosilver · 23-08-21 09:25:22

_hyperballad_ wrote:

Someone let me know that I have been called on, directly, to respond to this thread.
I do not & would not be having phone sex with anyone for free.
I find a lot of joy in the phone sex work I do. I think it's something I will sustain for many years to come. I am paid for this, because even if I do genuinely enjoy it, I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't earning money from it. As with so many facets of sex work it seems like that isn't what people want to hear, but it's the truth.
I take 'private' sessions from clients & I also work on a proper 1300 phone sex line. I have regulars in both streams because I'm very good at what I do, but they all 100% pay me. Phone sex is like pretty much any other form of emotional & erotic labour I perform under the umbrella of sex work that I do - if someone wants access to that then absolutely need to be paying me.
I have to say, as a professional that takes a lot of pride in the work I do as a phone sex operator, if someone asks me for a free session, I don't even reply - I block them. From where I stand it's disrespectful to ask me & I do not engage with requests that devalue me. It's an exercise in futility. I used to respond & try to explain - but certain people doggedly refuse to see the value in my experience & expertise. It's a job, I'd never ask anyone to work for free to me, much less do sex work for me, for free. Even if you totally love being a plumber, I'm not going to ask you to come replace my pipes for free.
And for the record I don't 'do my nails' when I'm taking calls. I'm in my dedicated work space, with a big bottle of water, some snacks, an array of toys, lube, a towel & a packet of baby wipes.
Phone sex is sustainable & rewarding for me because I am compensated for my erotic labour. I meet lots of really cool people & get an incredible window into the inner workings of people’s fantasies - there is absolutely value in that, but I deserve financial compensation for my time & energy. I am a great, intuitive erotic story teller, I can perform when asked to (& yes, loads of men just want me to moan their name), I can have a LOT of orgasms, I know myself, my body & I'm confident expressing myself sexually.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Pay sex workers.

Hello Hyperballad
Thank you very much for this long and very interesting message in which you perfectly describe your work and the pleasure you experience from it. So we know you better. Besides why wouldn't you do a video for IFM during a phone conversation where you actually masturbate and you have an orgasm? It would be wildly exciting, I think.
But, again, I think I misunderstood myself here, maybe google translation I'm using here doesn't exactly translate my thought because I'm writing in French.
When I wrote this post, I made it clear, I believe, that I had for many years had the experience of masturbating over the phone with women completely free of charge, just for the fun of it, just for the fun. passion for masturbation, just not to do it all the time alone.
As I wrote, it was while chatting that I was able to find women who actually liked to do it on the phone in a totally free and free way, just to share an intense and anonymous moment with the fantasy of hear a voice, a breath, sighs.
I remain convinced that a certain number of women like this practice (much less than men, it is true when we know that women fantasize much more about words, writing, and maturbate while writing) without wanting to do it. a paid business.
What I was also saying is that since the development of cell phones and communication applications such as Skype or Tox or Whatsapp, many women tell me that they have been harassed by malicious men and have completely stopped this activity.
And I will continue to search on chats! Very warmly. !
Christian

viva · 23-08-21 18:58:57

I know what you mean Alsbo. When I was younger I used to frequent dirty chat on yahoo and aol and.. well once those seedy places got taken down, I never really found an alternative, but from time to time I looked for it. And tbh I still miss it. I'm not someone who really likes to be alone a lot... part of why I like IFM is cause when the camera is on me, I don't feel so alone. When I would masturbate or even before I learned to masturbate I liked to find strangers online and talk dirty with them. Sometimes we'd end up on the phone and that was often truly amazing but also felt about 1000x more real, more intense, more frightening and more risky. So I often woulnd't allow it to happen as the fantasies I was exploring were also about humiliation, subjugation, submission, even slavery, and some of these guys wanted to go hard as a Master kind of thing and while I liked to go hard in text, and kind of skirt the line with the risk of it... well it was dangerous... anyway.

Even back in those days I had to screen a billion "hey" and "a/s/l" and "whats up."s before I'd find a man who'd message me in a way that intriguiged me. and turned me on. Maybe I also would have liked a more dating site style where I could specify the kind of things I liked.. and get people messaging me that did what I liked... and made me feel good but also, it was kind of a thing where I wanted to just go on at night when I felt horny and explore, not really make plans or have to think about it when I wasn't horny.

also hey guys hi

privignus · 24-08-21 01:24:21

Moderation and community management is another big unsexy issue. One of the ways in which corporate social media is broken by design is that it tries to pass off responsibility for moderation and it tries to impose one standard on all communities. Getting some ultra-reactionary Catholics in the USA and some mystical Hindus in India to agree about which topics should be allowed and which are utterly offensive is impossible, just like a billion corporate social media accounts are not and cannot be a community because people don't know each other and agree on norms and work to enforce them.

_hyperballad_ wrote:

Someone let me know that I have been called on, directly, to respond to this thread.

Hi _hyperballad_, I don't know what post you are referring to, but I hope you did not think that my post was calling on you to respond. I was giving an example of someone who alsbosilver could look up if he wanted to do paid phone sex with an IFM contributor.

Back to the job hunt for me.

smoothed · 24-08-21 09:49:56

viva wrote:

also hey guys hi

hihi!

richard · 24-08-21 13:02:11

I totally understand where you're coming from Alsbo, and as Viva demonstrates, there are of women out there who are into it. But you won't find them here.

smoothed · 24-08-21 15:14:20

yeah, in the analog era and in the early days of teh interwebz, people were willing to try out novel forms of connection and intimacy. and as those modalities of communication have evolved, so too have our expectations and our means of engaging.

MS2020 · 24-08-21 22:55:06

viva wrote:

I know what you mean Alsbo. When I was younger I used to frequent dirty chat on yahoo and aol and.. well once those seedy places got taken down, I never really found an alternative, but from time to time I looked for it. And tbh I still miss it. I'm not someone who really likes to be alone a lot... part of why I like IFM is cause when the camera is on me, I don't feel so alone. When I would masturbate or even before I learned to masturbate I liked to find strangers online and talk dirty with them. Sometimes we'd end up on the phone and that was often truly amazing but also felt about 1000x more real, more intense, more frightening and more risky. So I often woulnd't allow it to happen as the fantasies I was exploring were also about humiliation, subjugation, submission, even slavery, and some of these guys wanted to go hard as a Master kind of thing and while I liked to go hard in text, and kind of skirt the line with the risk of it... well it was dangerous... anyway.
Even back in those days I had to screen a billion "hey" and "a/s/l" and "whats up."s before I'd find a man who'd message me in a way that intriguiged me. and turned me on. Maybe I also would have liked a more dating site style where I could specify the kind of things I liked.. and get people messaging me that did what I liked... and made me feel good but also, it was kind of a thing where I wanted to just go on at night when I felt horny and explore, not really make plans or have to think about it when I wasn't horny.
also hey guys hi

Hey Viva. I've missed hearing from you.

Got to say though, some of this left me feeling pretty uneasy. I don't want to sound all judgy, but the though of anyone (teens especially) engaging in dirty chats with totally strangers makes me very uneasy. When you describe that danger even more so. I don't know if I would have though that much about it at that age, but know it's hard not to imagine the scary direction that could take.

So I have to wonder, do you feel differently about those experiences today? In a previous post you mentioned wanted to get pregnant some day. Would feel alright with your teenage son or daughter chating about sex with strangers online? Again trying not to rush into judgment. I'm just wondering about your personal outlook.

maurice_B · 25-08-21 12:08:42

viva wrote:

I know what you mean Alsbo. When I was younger I used to frequent dirty chat on yahoo and aol and.. well once those seedy places got taken down, I never really found an alternative, but from time to time I looked for it. And tbh I still miss it. I'm not someone who really likes to be alone a lot... part of why I like IFM is cause when the camera is on me, I don't feel so alone. When I would masturbate or even before I learned to masturbate I liked to find strangers online and talk dirty with them. Sometimes we'd end up on the phone and that was often truly amazing but also felt about 1000x more real, more intense, more frightening and more risky. So I often woulnd't allow it to happen as the fantasies I was exploring were also about humiliation, subjugation, submission, even slavery, and some of these guys wanted to go hard as a Master kind of thing and while I liked to go hard in text, and kind of skirt the line with the risk of it... well it was dangerous... anyway.
Even back in those days I had to screen a billion "hey" and "a/s/l" and "whats up."s before I'd find a man who'd message me in a way that intriguiged me. and turned me on. Maybe I also would have liked a more dating site style where I could specify the kind of things I liked.. and get people messaging me that did what I liked... and made me feel good but also, it was kind of a thing where I wanted to just go on at night when I felt horny and explore, not really make plans or have to think about it when I wasn't horny.
also hey guys hi

Hi Viva, so good to hear from you! I've seriously missed your inspiring posts.

Putting myself in the shoes of a teenager dad, I think I'd be mostly cool with this as long as no face-to-face meetings were involved and no pics or video material exchanged that could potentially be posted across the web. Most of all, I would hope to create some kind of safe space for them where they would feel totally accepted in whatever paths they explored in developing their personalities, including their sexual preferences.

Last edited by maurice_B (26-08-21 00:30:08)

alsbosilver · 26-08-21 09:06:58

richard wrote:

I totally understand where you're coming from Alsbo, and as Viva demonstrates, there are of women out there who are into it. But you won't find them here.

Thank you Richard, I suspect it perfectly. However it is very astonishing for me to note that women can expose themselves totally, give details about their lives in the profiles, show themselves fully masturbating and for some dozens of times, be in the privacy of their rooms or their apartments and for all that not wanting to masturbate "for free" on the phone with members of this beautiful community, but these are, indeed, extremely different approaches ...

Christian (France)

alsbosilver · 26-08-21 09:12:05

smoothed wrote:

yeah, in the analog era and in the early days of teh interwebz, people were willing to try out novel forms of connection and intimacy. and as those modalities of communication have evolved, so too have our expectations and our means of engaging.

Thank you for your Smoothed message, I believe you have perfectly analyzed the phenomenon !! We can indeed be closer to new modes of communication and, paradoxically, we are more wary of them ...

alsbosilver · 26-08-21 09:31:35

viva wrote:

I know what you mean Alsbo. When I was younger I used to frequent dirty chat on yahoo and aol and.. well once those seedy places got taken down, I never really found an alternative, but from time to time I looked for it. And tbh I still miss it. I'm not someone who really likes to be alone a lot... part of why I like IFM is cause when the camera is on me, I don't feel so alone. When I would masturbate or even before I learned to masturbate I liked to find strangers online and talk dirty with them. Sometimes we'd end up on the phone and that was often truly amazing but also felt about 1000x more real, more intense, more frightening and more risky. So I often woulnd't allow it to happen as the fantasies I was exploring were also about humiliation, subjugation, submission, even slavery, and some of these guys wanted to go hard as a Master kind of thing and while I liked to go hard in text, and kind of skirt the line with the risk of it... well it was dangerous... anyway.
Even back in those days I had to screen a billion "hey" and "a/s/l" and "whats up."s before I'd find a man who'd message me in a way that intriguiged me. and turned me on. Maybe I also would have liked a more dating site style where I could specify the kind of things I liked.. and get people messaging me that did what I liked... and made me feel good but also, it was kind of a thing where I wanted to just go on at night when I felt horny and explore, not really make plans or have to think about it when I wasn't horny.
also hey guys hi

Dear Viva, I have never read a testimony that is so close to what I wanted to express in my post. I fully understand what you mean! Me neither, I'm not someone who likes to be really alone in masturbation and I always want to share it in one way or another and talking about masturbation with strangers on chats remains a pleasure. pretty exciting. Probably if we had discussed together we would have got along very well! But, unlike some men, I'm not into bondage, submission, humiliation at all, these are things I hate when I think about sex with a woman. On the contrary, masturbating together on the phone is for me a moment of emotion and sweetness, without talking too much about it, if not to know how we are installed, dressed, with what hand we masturbate, if we did it recently, which one feels ... but rather a moment of listening and respect for the other, and letting him act as if he was alone listening to his breath, his breathing and when it small movements of the hand are possible. In fact, for me it is a luxurious accompaniment of the pleasure that one gives oneself tenfold by the possibility of hearing the other do the same thing. Hope all is well with you and was very happy to read you again.

Christian (France)

richard · 27-08-21 09:02:41

alsbosilver wrote:

richard wrote:
I totally understand where you're coming from Alsbo, and as Viva demonstrates, there are of women out there who are into it. But you won't find them here.

Thank you Richard, I suspect it perfectly. However it is very astonishing for me to note that women can expose themselves totally, give details about their lives in the profiles, show themselves fully masturbating and for some dozens of times, be in the privacy of their rooms or their apartments and for all that not wanting to masturbate "for free" on the phone with members of this beautiful community, but these are, indeed, extremely different approaches ...
Christian (France)

Many of the contributors might well enjoy that - but I imagine they would find their preferred platform and participate anonymously. Here, you already know so much about them, and you've seen them masturbate. It's not an equal footing.

alsbosilver · 28-08-21 07:08:46

richard wrote:

alsbosilver wrote:
richard wrote:
I totally understand where you're coming from Alsbo, and as Viva demonstrates, there are of women out there who are into it. But you won't find them here.

Thank you Richard, I suspect it perfectly. However it is very astonishing for me to note that women can expose themselves totally, give details about their lives in the profiles, show themselves fully masturbating and for some dozens of times, be in the privacy of their rooms or their apartments and for all that not wanting to masturbate "for free" on the phone with members of this beautiful community, but these are, indeed, extremely different approaches ...
Christian (France)
Many of the contributors might well enjoy that - but I imagine they would find their preferred platform and participate anonymously. Here, you already know so much about them, and you've seen them masturbate. It's not an equal footing.

Yes you are absolutely right, Richard!

viva · 11-09-21 20:52:04

MS2020 wrote:

Hey Viva. I've missed hearing from you.
Got to say though, some of this left me feeling pretty uneasy. I don't want to sound all judgy, but the though of anyone (teens especially) engaging in dirty chats with totally strangers makes me very uneasy. When you describe that danger even more so. I don't know if I would have though that much about it at that age, but know it's hard not to imagine the scary direction that could take.
So I have to wonder, do you feel differently about those experiences today? In a previous post you mentioned wanted to get pregnant some day. Would feel alright with your teenage son or daughter chating about sex with strangers online? Again trying not to rush into judgment. I'm just wondering about your personal outlook.

Normal to feel uneasy. I think about this a lot. I was such a sexual person at such a young age, and I sought out people who probably didn't have my best well-being in mind. I liked the danger, the risk, the degradation, I was exploring. I don't really have many answers. I believe a teenager's private life is her own. I needed to explore in my own way and I assume my son and/or daughter will do the same. My job as a parent, as I see it, is not to inhibit or control that exploration, but to create a safe space for my kids to come to me and express themselves if they need help. So, I guess my plan is to foster a really open and completely boring environment towards sex and porn and masturbation and body parts and risk, from a really early age. I intend to be as honest as possible about my own views and experiences and try to reinforce the idea of natural consequences rather than arbitrary rules. Try to teach them to be smart and have self-respect for their bodies, the bodies of others AND their own erotic minds. To never ever share addresses, locations, real names and phone numbers online. And to teach them why without scaring the shit out of them.

I dont know! I'm not a parent. I had zero oversight as a kid and I did some things that ... I dont exactly regret ... but I consider myself lucky to have escaped unharmed. My fiancee had no oversight and he thinks some of the things he saw online hurt him in ways he is still recovering from. It's a hard situation. But as a teenager I needed space to... eroticise things and people my parents couldn't know about. I needed secrets and I needed relationships with older men that society doesn't approve of, but many many many young women and older men seek out. Why? I don't know or care. But I hope that if I have a daughter, she feels trusted, supported, and knows that there's basically nothing I would ever judge her for... so she can have privacy... she can get weird... but be educated about how to do it in a super safe way. And if things get bad, she'll know she can always come to me. What else can we do?

alsbosilver · 12-09-21 09:30:53

We were talking during this discussion of women masturbating on the phone for a financial contribution. I recently chatted on the Coolmsile tcaht with a woman who loves to masturbate and does it a lot and offers to send her Amazon vouchers to masturbate together. I found the idea funny and wanted to share it with you!

Christian (France)

#26 17-08-21 08:49:59

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#27 17-08-21 15:29:36

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#28 18-08-21 07:47:03

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#29 23-08-21 09:25:22

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#30 23-08-21 18:58:57

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#31 24-08-21 01:24:21

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#32 24-08-21 09:49:56

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#33 24-08-21 13:02:11

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#34 24-08-21 15:14:20

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#35 24-08-21 22:55:06

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#36 25-08-21 12:08:42

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#37 26-08-21 09:06:58

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#38 26-08-21 09:12:05

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#39 26-08-21 09:31:35

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#40 27-08-21 09:02:41

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#41 28-08-21 07:08:46

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#42 11-09-21 20:52:04

Re: A new service for IFM ?

#43 12-09-21 09:30:53

Re: A new service for IFM ?

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