#1 01-11-19 04:56:29

viva

pretty pretty princess

Registered: 14-05-10

Posts: 4,113

Website

going for the gold

Masturbation becomes an Olympic sport judged like ice skating on presentation, skill, complexity, and execution. How would you win?

Alright on reddit they're all imagining how they would win if masturbation was an olympic sport, but I know we know more about this than anyone on there does! Also they're predictably sexist, and all the comments are about male masturbation - I guess we'd have to do a dual gender sport, cause no man is gonna beat us for sheer reps.

what do you guys think? what would your winner look like? I think for the womens' we'd need to consider points for flush, numbers,  speed, power, athleticism, and sheer emotional content.

Molly_f

Member

Registered: 31-03-19

Posts: 49

Re: going for the gold

So I have been re-watching the L word lately, and for any of you that used to watch it you're sure to remember Shane, and her many, many, many conquests throughout the show. During one episode she estimates the number of people she's slept with to be between 900 and 1200 (or something like that) so I became curious about any real world records there may be out there for sexual partners and began a google spiral into sex records. Here are some of my findings that could help establish some sort of framework for sexual Olympics.

MOST SEX IN A DAY! 919! Lisa Sparks who is a porn actress slept with 919 men over 24 hours. I guess she spent around 95 seconds with each one lol

FURTHEST EJACULATION! A very impressive 18 feet 9 inches, so pretty much 6 metres! This record is held by a Mr. Horst Schultz!

LONGEST ORGASM! 45 seconds with 25 contractions!! This one I think is inaccurate. As an editor of BA I feel like I have seen as long of an orgasm if not longer, but maybe it just seems long? Any thoughts??

MOST ORGASMS IN AN HOUR! 222! This also seems inaccurate! Is this physically possible? How can it be measured? You would have to have just under 4 orgasms a minute. In any case this was recorded during a 2009 Masturbate-a-thon in Denmark.

BIGGEST ORGY! 250 couples or 500 people!! This record is from Japan, but the catch is you were only allowed to have sex with the person you came with, which begs the question is it really an orgy? It was filmed though so I imagine we could find the video out there somewhere. Also it was choreographed.

STRONGEST PUSSY! Tatyana Kozhevnikova can lift 14kg with hers! She is a Russian gymnast.

BIGGEST COCK! 13.5 inches! It belongs to Jonah Falcon, who is an American writer, talk show host and actor. Google him and you can see tons of pictures of him in bike shorts that show off his giant flaccid penis.

LONGEST MASTURBATION SESSION! 7 hours and 6 minutes, also at the Masturbate-a-thon in Denmark. I imagine this is one unbroken session because myself and many people I know have spent an entire day masturbating, but we probably all took breaks.

Also today I edited this woman that has had sex with about 745 people!! Amazing!

** this information has been gleaned from an MTV article so I am very confident in it's accuracy

_redbird_

Member

Registered: 22-04-16

Posts: 388

Re: going for the gold

Whoah!! Some of those stats don't seem possible...but I trust MTV with my life so I believe it completely. I once saw a porn with a guy that had a penis that was almost a metre long and the woman just sort of dunked her vagina on the tip of it. Now that I think of it though, it probably wasn't a real penis but rather a very convincing prosthesis that 12 year old Red couldn't tell the difference between.

richard

Administrator

Registered: 14-03-06

Posts: 3,395

Re: going for the gold

Some of these are ridiculous - who ever times their orgasms or masturbation sessions and where's the central agency it's reported to?  And how is it verified?  Do you mean "longest orgasm recorded at a particular orgasm competition"?

Clickbait.

Molly_f

Member

Registered: 31-03-19

Posts: 49

Re: going for the gold

MTV would never do me dirty like that. BUT JUST IN CASE I'll try to find some more realistic parameters for this hypothetical Olympic event!!!!

Lol redbird, one of the dangers of children watching porn I guess. I kind of hate seeing porn where the man's penis is very large because I just imagine it prodding my cervix, ouchy. Also "dunked" hehehehehe very good descriptor.

viva

pretty pretty princess

Registered: 14-05-10

Posts: 4,113

Website

Re: going for the gold

I read an article about the guy with the biggest dick (of course I had to google for those bike short photos, cmon) and he talks about how he's slept with all these A-list celebrities and they always say, wow you're so big, and it's bigger than my ex, and that makes him feel good. And it's like, dude, you're on record for having the biggest cock in the world. Like, it's not special that you're bigger than her ex, you're bigger than everybody's ex.

Molly_f

Member

Registered: 31-03-19

Posts: 49

Re: going for the gold

Hahahah kind of funny he still loves women to amp him up about his giant cock. In reality I think having a penis this big would be a detriment not an advantage. Any fellas with big dicks want to share their experiences? Is it as great as all the averagely endowed men think it is???

Personally I really like average sized penises.

mehitabel2

Member

Registered: 11-12-07

Posts: 141

Re: going for the gold

...LONGEST ORGASM! 45 seconds with 25 contractions!! This one I think is inaccurate. As an editor of BA I feel like I have seen as long of an orgasm if not longer, but maybe it just seems long? Any thoughts??

I think Juana's orgasm in Gizmo is the longest on this site, at least 53 seconds.

Ejaculator

Member

Registered: 07-05-16

Posts: 405

Re: going for the gold

Hi Mehitabel2,
Thank you so much for reminding us this great ten years old video with Juana and her fabulous rabbit orgasm.

MS2020

Member

Registered: 06-11-20

Posts: 199

Re: going for the gold

Hahahah kind of funny he still loves women to amp him up about his giant cock. In reality I think having a penis this big would be a detriment not an advantage. Any fellas with big dicks want to share their experiences? Is it as great as all the averagely endowed men think it is???

Personally I really like average sized penises.

Glad to find you asked Molly. Speaking as someone whose been told many times I'm well endowed, let me just say quite frankly...NO. It's really not great.

I feel fine about saying this now. After watching the lovely Hannah Witton make an entire video about why having big boobs isn't as great as so many women/girls with aspiration for large tits often believe. Before I couldn't imagine myself defying common folklore.

First of all it's hard to find underwear that fits snuggly. Second you're more likely to fear being noticed when aroused. Third when you sit down on the toilet it's more likely to press against the rim. Fourth if a dog or cat jumps on you there's a better chance you'll feel it (Ouch). And finally a part of you wonders if a women will be intimidated when approaching intimacy. Of course I can currently only speculate about that last one, but it is a really concern for me. It's one reason I feel like my first time would be better off with outercourse than intercourse.

Last edited by MS2020 (27-09-21 23:40:30)

richard

Administrator

Registered: 14-03-06

Posts: 3,395

Re: going for the gold

Hahahah kind of funny he still loves women to amp him up about his giant cock. In reality I think having a penis this big would be a detriment not an advantage. Any fellas with big dicks want to share their experiences? Is it as great as all the averagely endowed men think it is???

Personally I really like average sized penises.

Glad to find you asked Molly. Speaking as someone whose been told many times I'm well endowed, let me just say quite frankly...NO. It's really not great.

I feel fine about saying this know. After watching the lovely Hannah Witton make an entire video about why having big boobs isn't as great as so many women/girls with aspiration for large tits often believe. Before I couldn't imagine myself defying common folklore.

First of all it's hard to find underwear that fits snuggly. Second you're more likely to fear being noticed when aroused. Third when you sit down on the toilet it's more likely to press against the rim. Fourth if a dog or cat jumps on you there's a better chance you'll feel it (Ouch). And finally a part of you wonders if a women will be intimidated when approaching intimacy. Of course I can currently only speculate about that last one, but it is a really concern for me. It's one reason I feel like my first time would be better off with outercourse than intercourse.

I used to know a guy they nicknamed 'horse'.  He couldn't get laid because women were freaked out about the size of his dick.