how did you learn?

JAMMYMAN · 18-02-21 11:02:08

I never experienced dry orgasms. I discovered the pleasure of touching and rubbing erections quite early, I guess. But then at 13 I had my first orgasm, and ejaculated a small amount of semen. (I remember the photo of two naked young women I was looking at, when it happened). The rest, as they say, is history.

maurice_B · 18-02-21 13:45:26

I never orgasmed before reaching puberty but remember hearing about this dry orgasm thing from a friend who started masturbating at an early age. He was actually pretty anxious at the time that something was "wrong" with him!

If I miss anything from those early days it would have to be how sensitive my dick was. I could easily come just from holding the tip of my erection against a water jet in a swimming pool – no chance of that happening now. The only times I ever orgasmed from a blowjob were also with one of my earliest partners at age 19. I still enjoy receiving blowjobs (though not as much as giving them) but nowadays they won't give me enough physical stimulation to reach climax. Which isn't all bad though as watching my partner come when we fuck is still my favorite way of putting myself over the edge.

viva · 18-02-21 23:36:20

Did you just lose sensitivity with time Maurice? Is it all physical or is there something mental about it as well?

MS2020 · 19-02-21 05:32:53

viva wrote:

I love this conversation! Thank you both for sharing. Male sexuality is so fascinating to me, every man has a different experience of learning pleasure and I love learning more about the amazing spectrum of possibilities.

Glad to hear it. When you say possibilities, do mean all the different ways of learning to touch oneself or does then include mental triggers as well. That's why I tried starting that discussion on first times horniness. I've long been intrigued about how women get turned on to pleasure, how it's often different from men, and why.

Actually Viva, I'm a kind of disappoint that so far you've been the only one who responded to that open question I raised and my previous attempt to start a conversation has gotten nothing. I don't want to seem desperate to be noticed or anything, but I was hoping to get some nice feedback on this site about topics that are often hard to openly discuss.

viva · 19-02-21 06:01:27

Oh MS, the ways of the forum are mysterious... sometimes I write something I'm sure will provoke conversation and it just doesn't! sometimes things interest people and sometimes they dont and it can be timing, wording.. any combo of things can effect it. I definitely understand your feelings of frustration about that. All I can say is I'm so grateful for your involvement and activity here, I'm always interested in what you have to say.

MS2020 wrote:

When you say possibilities, do mean all the different ways of learning to touch oneself or does then include mental triggers as well.

Both and all. I just find the ways people discover sexuality, especially men, so fascinating. I have heard some wild tales about the places guys will stick their dicks... and also discovering that bumplay feels good.. and I like learning about porn especially early porn and/or people, visuals a person experienced that stood out, etc and the way those things stimulated new ideas.

maurice_B · 19-02-21 13:23:41

viva wrote:

Did you just lose sensitivity with time Maurice? Is it all physical or is there something mental about it as well?

Hmmm, I'd say all physical at least when it comes to masturbation. I still do it a lot even though I've been in a stable relationship for a long time, but whereas I once was able to get myself off on a particular fantasy within a minute or so and with relatively small hand movements involved, it now usually takes more time and requires stronger stimulation. I've tried to make a virtue out of this by adding more details to my fantasies to make them last longer which has actually been kind of fun.

There may be a mental element to the partner sex side as I've experienced a loss of erection in the past when receiving a handjob or blowjob with too soft stimulation. So I guess the subtle fear that it might happen again can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is definitely something I never even thought about as a young guy.

MS2020 · 20-02-21 00:45:55

viva wrote:

Oh MS, the ways of the forum are mysterious... sometimes I write something I'm sure will provoke conversation and it just doesn't! sometimes things interest people and sometimes they dont and it can be timing, wording.. any combo of things can effect it. I definitely understand your feelings of frustration about that. All I can say is I'm so grateful for your involvement and activity here, I'm always interested in what you have to say.
MS2020 wrote:
When you say possibilities, do mean all the different ways of learning to touch oneself or does then include mental triggers as well.
Nice to know the trouble starting conversations happens even to the professionals. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
Both and all. I just find the ways people discover sexuality, especially men, so fascinating. I have heard some wild tales
about the places guys will stick their dicks... and also discovering that bumplay feels good.. and I like learning about porn especially early porn and/or people, visuals a person experienced that stood out, etc and the way those things stimulated new ideas.

What qualifies as early porn is an interesting question. Until recent year it was very difficult for most hormonal young people to find (by-design) erotic materials. I was too timid to look for actual pornographic publications or movies growing up. Except for the written erotica that I'd thumb through in bookstores occasional. Prior to that is was women's magazines like Glamour or Cosmopolitan which often had racier photos and stories than many realized. It help that they were actually geared towards women readers so you'd get an adult women real thoughts on sex (though admittedly the suggestions could be questionable in hindsight.).

Mostly as I said in another forum, it was renting movies that gave me a (somewhat) reliable source of sex and nudity. Of course I wanted movies of quality. Not just jerk off material. (I was not easy to please).

Last edited by MS2020 (20-02-21 00:48:28)

privignus · 20-02-21 01:24:51

MS2020 wrote:

I know it's often said the feel is so sensational that if you don't know that means you didn't have it, but I've come to realize over the years that's not quite true. There are variations of length and intensive of orgasms and they don't all feel the same.
Any thoughts?

MS2020, I am not very articulate because of unemployment and depression, but some of my earlier posts on this forum talk about this. I think that this is something where we get tangled up in words so some people say orgasm when they mean "ejaculation." And then women who have sex with men sometimes think that that means they have to make male partners ejaculate every time to be a good lover.

One of the American psychologists with a blog had a post about how over the years he had met many male clients whose experiences fell outside the old Masters and Johnson "arousal, threshold, ejaculation, refractory period" model.

viva · 21-02-21 23:45:21

MS2020 wrote:

women's magazines like Glamour or Cosmopolitan which often had racier photos and stories than many realized.

Oh man this was me. I'd get so excited and super cagey reading the sex tips in womens' mags, I'd seek them out and read the whole thing cover to cover to pretend it wasnt just the sex stuff I wanted, and I'd be reading them in public so it was a super charges experience once I did reach the sex tips, in my mind i was just trying to hide the inside of the magazine but being really casual, but in reality I probably had bright red cheeks and my legs crossed hard enough to spin me around.

MS2020 · 22-02-21 18:31:29

viva wrote:

MS2020 wrote:
women's magazines like Glamour or Cosmopolitan which often had racier photos and stories than many realized.
Oh man this was me. I'd get so excited and super cagey reading the sex tips in womens' mags, I'd seek them out and read the whole thing cover to cover to pretend it wasnt just the sex stuff I wanted, and I'd be reading them in public so it was a super charges experience once I did reach the sex tips, in my mind i was just trying to hide the inside of the magazine but being really casual, but in reality I probably had bright red cheeks and my legs crossed hard enough to spin me around.

Cool! Do you actually buy any of them? Because I don't think they'd let you read the whole thing in stores. I can certainly relate to that nervous feel of not wanting people to see what you were actually reading. My mom actually warned that if people so you looking through women's mags they might think you're gay!

viva · 22-02-21 23:35:58

I guess I mustve bought them cause I remember having them out in public!

wow we all have so much intensity around womens mags. Maybe because they all say SEX on the cover .. makes everyone curious and fascinated but they dont want to be seen reading them!

MS2020 · 23-02-21 00:18:34

viva wrote:

I guess I mustve bought them cause I remember having them out in public!
wow we all have so much intensity around womens mags. Maybe because they all say SEX on the cover .. makes everyone curious and fascinated but they dont want to be seen reading them!

Well, there's long been that go to defense of reading mens mags with an emphasis on sex, "I only read them for the articles." It's a little harder use that defense in women's publications that DON"T have beefcake pictures to differentiate from the writing.

I read an amusing twist on this phrase made in the mid-90s by Heather Findlay. Editor of one of the earliest lesbian originated erotic mags On Our Backs. Noting that Playboy and the like were one of the few places one could find the open displays of the sexy female form for years and due to lack of images geared to gay women, she admitted to having occasionally checked them. Saying she ignored the articles full of "male whining" her defense to getting caught looking to "her friends" was "but really I only buy them for the pictorials!"

Last edited by MS2020 (23-02-21 00:19:58)

viva · 23-02-21 00:32:34

Ha! That is very funny.

Now that I think of it I used to be obsessed with non-porno men's magazines as well. Maxim, and another one I cant remember the name of. I wasn't in any of them for pictures, I've always been a more texty kind of girl.....

MS2020 · 23-02-21 00:38:30

viva wrote:

Ha! That is very funny.
Now that I think of it I used to be obsessed with non-porno men's magazines as well. Maxim, and another one I cant remember the name of. I wasn't in any of them for pictures, I've always been a more texty kind of girl.....

AH! That brings me to somebody I'd been trying to address. A question of fascination I've had for a long time. Are men generally more apt to be aroused by visuals and stills, while women are more likely to be aroused by more writing and situations?

There are a lot of theories about this. A lot of factors to consider. It might even be worth a whole separate discussion in the forum.

Last edited by MS2020 (23-02-21 00:38:57)

viva · 23-02-21 01:01:24

start the thread!

Andyfan · 23-11-21 13:31:44

The earliest memory I have of masturbation, must have been when I was about 7 or 8 I think? As a kid I'd climb up a pole on a jungle gym, my arms and legs wrapped around it pulling myself up. Inevitably, I'd feel the rubbing against my penis and it felt good. So sometimes when I was at home I'd try to recreate the "nice feeling", by pulling myself up the steel pole of our clothesline in our back garden. This is where I experienced my first little orgasm.

One time I really went for it... I snuck outside really early on a cold morning when no one was around and hopefully the neighbours hadn't gotten up yet, and for the first time, climbed the pole naked, rubbing myself against it. The naughtiness of climbing the pole, completely naked, totally exposed, outside, feeling my body and penis rubbing against the cold, hard, steel pole, made it even more exciting.

Then later I learnt that I could take a more "direct approach"... lying in the bath (age 8-9 or so), I would just pull on my little penis until orgasm. This was typically how I did it most of the time from then on. At this age these were just dry orgasms with no ejaculation.

But when I was about 13, I was at home alone, in the living room. Feeling the need, I took off my pants and just started masturbating while sitting on the sofa, and it was here, when I actually ejaculated for the first time when I came! I was initially freaked out, seeing the white semen coming out of my penis for the first time ever. But I soon understood what had happened and that puberty had cum a knockin! Lol.

czarectah2615 · 28-11-21 04:35:57

I used to always have my hands in my pants as a kid, but really just playing with my penis and I’m assuming it felt somewhat good. As puberty hit, I decided to try this masturbation thing everyone was talking about. I initially tried the standard up and down stroking method but it never felt as amazing as everyone made it out to be. Maybe it was due to circumcision, and not really knowing what I was doing. I don’t know why, but one night I tried humping my pillow and coming for the first time. I was hooked after that! Now, this is something I couldn’t do all the time due to the mess so instead I found out that massaging my frenulum brought me to ejaculate really quickly and it became a daily ritual. It’s really only in the last few years that I masturbate with the standard stroke method.

Hard4myTeela · 15-12-21 00:23:20

Are we aloud to private message members or staff? I tried to to e-mail letting you know I’m a huuuge fan of your vids and video diaries ?

smoothed · 15-12-21 01:44:47

Hard4myTeela wrote:

Are we aloud to private message members or staff? I tried to to e-mail letting you know I’m a huuuge fan of your vids and video diaries ?

i guess you're allowed to? and they're allowed to not reply as well.

SensualGnostic · 18-12-21 22:13:54

My beginnings in masturbation are a bit hazy, but, it's always been more visual and/or mental for me. I have a physical disability (Can of worms open! Yes, I'm open to answering questions) and I don't have much sensation in my genitals, so visual or mental stimulation is key. I can orgasm without touching my penis, though stroking at the base feels good. I do recall discovering my dad's magazine and video porn collection as an early teen, and that definitely spurred me on. Similar to recent contributors, I generally will watch porn with my legs crossed, and the squeezing of my genitals without rubbing along with the porn gets me off quite nicely.

#26 18-02-21 11:02:08

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#27 18-02-21 13:45:26

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