how did you learn?

viva · 16-09-20 06:57:24

Hey guys, inspired by my morning wank (where I had to use my fingers in a new way cause my nails are too long but I couldn't stop long enough for grooming) I'm feeling all curious: how did you all learn to do this crazy thing we do?

Personally, it was a struggle and a half. I fully just didn't know how to masturbate for ages even though I'd spend hours dirty-typing with strangers on the internet. I finally had an orgasm when I bought a cheesy vibrator online and had it delivered to me. I turned it on, held it on my clit over my undies (sheer, crimson) and just waited until I felt the littlest, yummiest tiny flutters. Was that it?

Over time, clearly, I improved a lot.

How about you guys?

smoothed · 16-09-20 09:05:04

When I was a teenager, I learnt to lie on my tummy and rub myself on the mattress, which would effectively and quickly take my erection and turn it into an orgasm. It was quite foolproof, and I could rub one out before anyone discovered me.

This approach to masturbation actually caused me to develop mild phimosis (when the foreskin gets too tight to retract properly), as I was having orgasms with pressure delivered to the shaft of the penis, instead of using the foreskin to constantly retract and extend over the glans (head) of the penis - a much more milder but also more involved way of stimulating it.

I've since had to then relearn to masturbate in a way that worked in my foreskin, relieving my phimosis and allowing me to discover different sensations with different parts of my penis. It took some Googling, and patience on the part of my sexual partners. And yes, the rich resources of IFM as well <3

Last edited by smoothed (17-09-20 15:53:01)

viva · 17-09-20 01:13:50

do you miss the rubbing?

smoothed · 17-09-20 02:22:55

I don't miss it - if anything i have to consciously avoid rubbing on my tummy too often, lest i fall back into prefering that mode of stimulation. I've learnt to pair both kinds of masturbation, when I have been wanking at my computer for a tad too long i'll just run over to my bed and get on my tummy, cum quickly, so i can get on with my day

Last edited by smoothed (17-09-20 02:24:16)

viva · 17-09-20 02:30:22

so interesting! I love it.

Piper_A · 17-09-20 04:05:21

This is such a good question Viva!
My early experiences with masturbation were all about rubbing as well - I would just want to feel different textures and things on my pussy, I would honestly try anything haha. The first thing I remember was a beaded necklace that I was kinda dragging back and forth over my clit. I didn't reach orgasm that way but it was fun. I used to hump pillows and stuff like that too. I think my very first proper orgasm was just with my hands but after I had that first orgasm, I really pushed myself to get there every time.
After my first proper orgasm I kept doing the humping thing more - pillows, toys, the arm of armchairs/couches and found I could have a really intense orgasm that way.
At one point I remember looking at my pussy properly for the first time (I never really cared to check her out and take a good hard look before then) and noticing my labia were so much longer / hung down more than what i'd seen in porn an I thought I had managed to stretch my labia through excess humping hahaha. After that, I think I somewhat shamed myself out of humping for a while and reverted to just using my hands.
Even now I tend to really prefer kinda indirect contact with my clitoris, so I will often masturbate with my hand laid flat rather than stimulating my clit with one finger. Sometimes I still hump pillows or masturbate through my clothes, that also gives me that evenly spread pressure / not so direct feeling that i'm looking for.
I'm really curious to hear what others say on this topic!

Mew · 17-09-20 05:46:38

Great topic for sure!

That is interesting Smoothed! I think "bed sex" is super hot too... A very early experience for me was taking turns humping a doona/duvet with 3 girls on a family camping trip haha.

It took me ages to figure out (well it felt like ages as I was pretty determined, in reality I was 19 when I had my first orgasm - it can take people much longer than that so I'm pretty lucky really!) I used to walk around with my hands down my pants when I was very young, luckily mum was pretty understanding and explained that it was totally cool but generally something you do in private lol.

When I got older with my first proper boyfriend I would let him finger me and go down on me but alas, we were both unsure of the logistics of the clitoris. So basically I was just being penetrated with a finger or a tongue - nice but didn't get the job done lol (heck I love tongue fucking now but I'm self-conscious about asking for it )

I'm so privileged that as well as my mum who taught me about sex and bought me books and talked to me about it, my step-mum is also super supportive about sex etc. They encouraged me to try masturbation so I had a better idea of what to expect when I did start sleeping with people. So I tried and tried and tried... Still hadn't found ol' mate clitoris at this point so it was more frustrating finger banging and giving up.

I feel like I developed a little complex for a minute believing I couldn't cum, so when I moved to Melbourne as a teen mum took me to a sex shop (*Pure Imagination by Gene Wilder plays*) and helped me pick out my first vibrator. It was terrible lol. Pastel purple shimmery little rabbit-style job, had a remote control with dials on the end of a cord and batteries - a bad combo for me! I definitely gave it a shot many times as well as using my hands but still couldn't get the hang of the elusive "O".

Eventually after a couple more fumbly experiences with a couple more boyfriends I cracked the case. I was dating this dude and we would have lame inexperienced sex - I'm not sure how exactly I worked it out but I realised if he kinda held himself over me in a missionary/push-up style position I could rub his hard dick on my clit (which I did find one day while receiving a blowjob from my previous boyfriend in a cinema - pretty sure it was LOTR 2 or 3 lol). So I rubbed away for god know how long until I finally had that earth shattering moment. I don't remember my first orgasm specifically because it was ON after that, I just wanted to do it all the time so it's a bit of a cummy blur.

I still love that technique but honestly I don't know if he got a lot out of it, like ok you just do a plank on top of me for like 30 minutes to an hour while I use that meat stick thing attached to you for something important.... I've worked out more practical positions since then

I figured out pretty quickly after that how to get myself off with my hands but despite regular practice it still took a long time to get there and definitely only one as opposed to now - I can have multiple, sometimes really quick orgasms - yay!

Last edited by Mew (18-09-20 01:32:51)

TheTuxedo · 20-09-20 09:02:16

I also started to rub, but with a pillow. I can't seem to recall how, but I started doing it around 12. I still always hump a pillow, though I use a folded throw to catch everything.

I think this has affected me. I have never been able to have an orgasm with my hands. Though I've tried recently using a sock. I've gotten closer than I had before. The feel of my own hands isn't pleasurable to me. Must be my self-hatred. But also I've never gotten there with a hand job or a blow job from anybody else... much to the frustration of partners. However, I seem to have a good amount of stamina in straight sex because fabric has always been my go-to for masturbating. I can orgasm pretty quickly that way.

But a few weeks ago I seriously tried for two hours with a sock. Nada. So I need to work on it. Partners have asked to watch me and they always had to settle for my pillow act.

smoothed · 21-09-20 07:12:46

TheTuxedo wrote:

I also started to rub, but with a pillow. I can't seem to recall how, but I started doing it around 12. I still always hump a pillow, though I use a folded throw to catch everything.
I think this has affected me. I have never been able to have an orgasm with my hands. Though I've tried recently using a sock. I've gotten closer than I had before. The feel of my own hands isn't pleasurable to me. Must be my self-hatred. But also I've never gotten there with a hand job or a blow job from anybody else... much to the frustration of partners. However, I seem to have a good amount of stamina in straight sex because fabric has always been my go-to for masturbating. I can orgasm pretty quickly that way.
But a few weeks ago I seriously tried for two hours with a sock. Nada. So I need to work on it. Partners have asked to watch me and they always had to settle for my pillow act.

tuxedo - it's possible to cum with your hands! I had the same problem as you as i've described, and using the plethora of IFM vids I learnt to figure out how to stroke myself and find another way to cum with just hands. don't give up! google is your friend!

i also was able to maintain an erection for a long time, like you, and I used to think it was a strength in the bedroom. but some partners do get frustrated at having to go on too long as well

TheTuxedo · 21-09-20 10:36:24

I'll certainly keep up the effort!

Monotreme · 21-09-20 13:17:54

I'm pretty sure it was about the time of my parents' divorce, so that would have been maybe 13 years of age. My mom and sister and I had moved to an apartment and I entered a time of personal exploration at a lot of levels.

One of those was the (probably chance) observation that if I rubbed the glans of my erection against my leg, like a Boy Scout trying to start a fire, that I experienced a new kind of internal fire that led to an internal and external explosion.

As I developed my technique, the glans-on-leg thing became far too sensitive for use. Now, my technique is to pretty much grab on with my right hand, placing my index finger and thumb in a circle that rubs hard against the place where the glans and shaft meet. I have not found a partner who can do this as well as I can, and while I enjoy watching handjobs, receiving them is not my favorite thing.

Lately, with the advent of the internet, I have started to use my left hand a lot more leaving my right hand to control the Viva video I am watching. This has the advantage of taking a bit longer so that I can match my timing to the timing of the video. While on Feck sites, my ultimate goal is to always achieve simultaneous orgasm so sometimes it takes a bit of to-ing and fro-ing to achieve that. Watching a video using software rather than the web helps with that; I very much like the "30 sec forward" and "10 sec back" feature embedded in the Windows product "Movies and TV".

With that, I've gotten myself a bit hot and bothered so it's time to load up a Viva video and get going.

viva · 22-09-20 08:03:06

omg I am loving this thread. (especially you MT <3)

So interesting to hear two different men learning to masturbate without their hands and then needing to learn or struggling to learn to do it with hands... in all my experience I'd never heard of that! We always assume guys just find their dick with their hands one day and do the time-honoured up n down until the magic happens. I'm loving these stories.

I knew a guy who it was so hard to make him come and I felt frustrated by that, though it did make for marathon all-day sex sessions... which was cool. I think it's same for men and women like when I have told guys I can't come unless I make it happen they make it their mission! same when I hear you saying no one has given you a really satisfying handjob Monotreme i'm like... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

smoothed · 22-09-20 08:48:14

i've never cum from a blowjob, and i've had partners who give damn good ones. one even really gave the blowjob of her life - in the end i used my hands, and when i was close, she put her mouth on it and so I jizz there. i think we find way to make it work!

TheTuxedo · 22-09-20 09:29:17

Ha, yeah I've never had a successful handjob or blowjob. Which has lead to more than one frustrated partner saying essentially, "So this is what some guys feel like when they can't get the job done." Though I also feel deeply frustrated in that case as well. Frustrated with myself, not with them. I did come close with a girl I saw who had been a biology major and knew bodies extremely well. She gave the BEST massages (didn't hurt they were combined with sex), and I think we got close with her massaging me down there. I always got impatient and wanted to go wild on her so it never panned out on the handjob front. Pity that fling only lasted three weeks as she went on to have sex with the boyfriend of a close friend of mine. Yup. But she had pursued me and I played along. I only wish the game had lasted a wee bit longer.

I can orgasm just fine through sex. In missionary it's similar enough to the pillow, and I think I like the pressure of the pillow on me down there. But also if they're on top, but that did take a little more work in the past. I think pressure plays a part. Not painful, just... I dunno I guess it's like a strong grip for a guy masturbating traditionally. When I climax I tend do almost go upward dog and really press hard and down into the bed.

I'm just so used to masturbating in that fashion.

On hands, the massaging girl I saw. The best was when she would be on top (her preferred position) and she would rub really hard into my front shoulders and collarbone and breast area. I hold some tension there and that was mindblowing when combined with her riding me and the fact that her skin was unusually warm to the touch.

Last edited by TheTuxedo (22-09-20 09:35:06)

viva · 23-09-20 02:41:43

Woah, so you're saying, she gave you a strong muscle-tension releasing shoulder and chest massage, WHILE riding you... that's amazing and insane. why is this thread blowing my mind? was she really tall? I can't reach my boyfriend with my hands while I'm on top unless I kind of bend at the waist/curve my back forward and then I can't grind as effectively? BRB gonna take a 15 with my boyfriend and test this out...

TheTuxedo · 23-09-20 03:10:11

She was about 5'2 to my 5'8. And my legs are long, so maybe I have a shorter torso? She made it work somehow. She would lean forward and I guess I angled that way too? She was basically addicted to massaging me, and I was fine with that. She also got me to walk on her back which scared the shit out of me. I'm lean, but still I was very nervous to do it. I'm a decent massager myself as I've long held tension and know enough about where it likes to hide. But walking on a person's back?

Monotreme · 23-09-20 14:13:39

Having one's back walked on is the best. In my experience, it's takes both skill in back-walking and skill in convincing the walkee that they're not going to be killed or paralyzed. A rare combination indeed.

maurice_B · 25-09-20 16:23:11

What has struck me about the confessions in this thread and those in the videos is that while people find out how to wank at varying ages, everybody seems to have discovered masturbation all by themselves. Not me – I had to be initiated into it! Which is kind of odd actually as my physical interest in other people had begun at a very young age, and at 11 I was already fantasizing about making love to the cutest girl in my class. Masturbation however completely eluded me, I literally had no idea it even existed!

A year later, I had a crush on a guy on my sports team (I was more or less bisexual throughout my youth) who was two years my senior and had this irresistable sunny and confident vibe. I think he kind of knew but there was no way we could be open about it lest our macho classmates find out. Anyway, one night when I was just pushing 13 we slept over at his house, and after some fooling around in his bed we ended up with our hands in each other's pants. This was the first time I had ever touched another dick and my heart was racing, but I had no idea at all what to do with it other than to fondle and squeeze it. He sure knew though, and I recall a pleasant, very tickly feeling and then in no time being all wet and sticky around my nether regions. It was pretty embarrassing actually, I had no idea what exactly had happened and quickly wandered off to the bathroom to clean myself.

Back home I tried to recreate the movements he had performed on my foreskin and soon enough, I found out!! Needless to say I spent the next five years wanking at least every night, more often during the daytime as well....

holzspam · 28-09-20 03:43:44

My first was under the tub faucet, like so many girls. I was younger than 10. Can I say that here? I then learned about the pool jets, then my electric toothbrush, then finally my fingers haha.

MS2020 · 13-02-21 05:20:48

I'd first become aware of masturbation from books on puberty. Though for a while I heard the word in my head as "menstruation," which I quickly realized was something quite different.

I didn't quite grasp the aspect of orgasm however. I know it was supposed to feel real good, but not sure how to know when it happens. For a while I'd just lay down on the bed with hand down my pants feeling my erection until I though I had to pee. Then I'd pee and it felt good but hard to control the steam and required a lot of cleaning afterwards.
I did a few times in the shower two, but again the effect was only limited.

I'm pretty sure that at some point I saw little clear dabs of semen coming to the tip of penis when I touch it at one point. Then I just watched it go back down not expecting anything more. I though that large amounts were only supposed to happen when you had sex.

Eventually my pediatrician asked during one of my yearly checkups if I'd started masturbating. I'd known him as long as I could remember and he had a comforting manner so I'd had not problem telling him. He said that it was a perfectly normal activity for someone may age and the frequency varies by person. After that I felt more compelled to see how far I could take it.

So one day I decided to try something I'd seen in that sex ed book for older kids It's Perfectly Normal. Where the boys sits on a bed with just his shirt on and it look like his hand was completely wrapped around his penis. I quickly realized that wasn't quite going to work as it got so big I couldn't cup the whole thing. (Years later I revisited the book and realized it was actual poking through a fist). So I resolved to just rub the shaft between both hands like you were trying to start a fire with sticks.

It had felt good before, but nothing like this. Soon I was shaking and kicking so much that it became hard to sit still. I just kept going, wondering how much longer and better this could last. Finally I reached the peak and the wonderful feeling was partial off set by my surprise at how much came out. This lead to a much bigger mess to clean up, but I didn't mind.

Like a lot of people a sort of became hooked after that. Doing it practically everyday through much of my adolescence. For a while after that my only way of coming was that two hand rub. Which unfortunately leads to frequent chafing after a while the costs me some of the joy. Eventually I figured out how to ease up on the friction and not rush it.

Last edited by MS2020 (13-02-21 18:38:31)

alsbosilver · 14-02-21 10:28:29

viva wrote:

Hey guys, inspired by my morning wank (where I had to use my fingers in a new way cause my nails are too long but I couldn't stop long enough for grooming) I'm feeling all curious: how did you all learn to do this crazy thing we do?
Personally, it was a struggle and a half. I fully just didn't know how to masturbate for ages even though I'd spend hours dirty-typing with strangers on the internet. I finally had an orgasm when I bought a cheesy vibrator online and had it delivered to me. I turned it on, held it on my clit over my undies (sheer, crimson) and just waited until I felt the littlest, yummiest tiny flutters. Was that it?
Over time, clearly, I improved a lot.
How about you guys?

Hello, Viva,

As far as I can remember, masturbation has been for me a simple, natural, obvious act ... and the result of which has always been a moment of pure delight, neither quite the same nor quite another .. .

I must have started around 8/10 years old (I remember in any case that I had no hair at that time) and I found it very pleasant and surprising to have this member who, from time to time, was starting to harden like a small piece of wood until the day when I had the idea to put my hand and I noticed that its envelope could slide and bring out the acorn.

Little by little I got used to doing these back and forth movements which were already very pleasant until the day when I felt a much more intense pleasure which completely invaded me. But it was a "dry" orgasm because there was no ejaculation yet.

The sperm came a little later which surprised me a lot and fed my discussions with my college friends! And like a number of young boys, we did it together both out of curiosity and perhaps also to reassure ourselves ...

From the start of discovering these sensations, I always masturbated a lot, often coming home from school or college while I was doing my homework, it relaxed me!

Since then I have never stopped and my frequency is around 4 or 5 times a week, sometimes even everyday!

I got into the habit of stretching my legs to make my orgasm rise from the start, which allows me to better control the evolution of my masturbation and it is, as you know, something also that I seek watching a woman do it.

With women, at the beginning of my sexual relations from about 18 years old, I was in a more traditional model, it was a period of discovery, I thought that only penetration could make have orgasms for boys and for girls. Very quickly, I realized that, while it worked pretty well for me, it wasn't always the case for my female partners and I started to involve masturbation in my sexual relations. I was very interested in the mystery of the female sex and found a few girls who told me that they have to stroke, lick their vulva and their clitoris so that they have fun and not just penetrate it.

With all my partners thereafter, masturbation has been at the center of my sexual practices, either that I masturbate them and that they do it to me too or that we have an episode of masturbation face to face or one to next to the other. (that's what I prefer now, by the way) and none of them complained !!

I am a mature man now but I continue to masturbate like a young man and I would rather deprive myself of food than cancel my IFM subscription!

Kisses dear Viva, this subject is very interesting indeed and I did not know that women could be so interested and curious about male masturbation!

MS2020 · 14-02-21 18:25:03

The concept of a dry orgasm confuses and intrigues me. I can't even remember if I've heard that term before. Only in recent years had a read of girls stories of having orgasms before they hit puberty, which leads me to wonder how they even know they were orgasms at all. Was it only in retrospect?

Despite not knowing the boys would ejaculate at climax (as I explained in my own story) I kind of figured after it while that mean anyone with a penis would know when they had an orgasm. However based on the alsbosilver story, it seems that boys can maybe have orgasms before hitting puberty too. That only broadens the mystery to me. How can you tell if you've had an orgasm without fluid?

I know it's often said the feel is so sensational that if you don't know that means you didn't have it, but I've come to realize over the years that's not quite true. There are variations of length and intensive of orgasms and they don't all feel the same.

Any thoughts?

alsbosilver · 17-02-21 08:05:24

MS2020 wrote:

The concept of a dry orgasm confuses and intrigues me. I can't even remember if I've heard that term before. Only in recent years had a read of girls stories of having orgasms before they hit puberty, which leads me to wonder how they even know they were orgasms at all. Was it only in retrospect?
Despite not knowing the boys would ejaculate at climax (as I explained in my own story) I kind of figured after it while that mean anyone with a penis would know when they had an orgasm. However based on the alsbosilver story, it seems that boys can maybe have orgasms before hitting puberty too. That only broadens the mystery to me. How can you tell if you've had an orgasm without fluid?
I know it's often said the feel is so sensational that if you don't know that means you didn't have it, but I've come to realize over the years that's not quite true. There are variations of length and intensive of orgasms and they don't all feel the same.
Any thoughts?

Hi Maurice,
I called it a dry orgasm, I don't know if the term really exists, but you understood that it was a sensation absolutely similar to that of the orgasm, with a very hard sex but which was not followed by 'ejaculation.
I can't tell you much more, maybe other friends here experienced the same in their pre-puberty that they could testify. Where can you find information on forums?

viva · 18-02-21 00:12:44

I love this conversation! Thank you both for sharing. Male sexuality is so fascinating to me, every man has a different experience of learning pleasure and I love learning more about the amazing spectrum of possibilities.

alsbosilver · 18-02-21 09:11:30

viva wrote:

I love this conversation! Thank you both for sharing. Male sexuality is so fascinating to me, every man has a different experience of learning pleasure and I love learning more about the amazing spectrum of possibilities.

Ask us all the questions you want dear Viva! If you also knew for me what fascintion I have regarding female masturbation ... Kisses

#1 16-09-20 06:57:24

how did you learn?

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