Poor body image

Blind_Ryan · 29-01-07 13:45:58

Ok, I want to know. I'm fat. I weigh 298 pounds. That's not the point.

I know I'm physically unattractive. All my weight is in my gut with a little in my neck and under the belt line (it's a pooch.) It doesn't disqualify me from sex in the literal sense but I feel down about it. No matter how much weight I've lost, that unsexy skin is still there. Since I have a girlfriend now, I want to look my best so I can please her visually and audibly (well I want to please her, period. (shut up. I know the joke that's coming on THAT expression) )

I swear to god I look like a Dwarf; a 5'10 Dwarf. My beard is coming in nicely too

I'd love advice from the women on this because I want to know the psychology behind... hell I don't know.

I'd love advice from anyone on low-lung-stress exercises I can do to shrink this mass... damn asthma.

edit: I am even brushing my teeth now... something I don't ever do because I have the theory that my Mom's family's teeth fell out BECAUSE they brushed and my dad's family's teeth never fell out BECAUSE they never brushed... well my mouth feels clean and tingly. Now my voice will be sexily accented by brush-ed teeth

edit: I lost weight. I have no clue how...

Last edited by Blind_Ryan (29-01-07 15:23:14)

gala · 29-01-07 23:30:49

i don't think there's anyone here who can offer you an analysis of the female psyche and according attitudes toward male bodies.

what i can tell you is that it is somewhat mad to believe that not brushing your teeth is in any way beneficial to your oral health. that's my advice to you, speaking as a woman.

seriously. keep up the brushing. you're on the right track with that one.

blissed · 29-01-07 23:59:43

and don't forget to floss!!!!! I tell this to everyone I think will benefit. Go to a gym. They usually assign you a trainer and create a personal exercise plan for you, after your minimum membership is up, you could reproduce the exercises at home. Working out a little would replace fat with muscle, it's up to you what character your body takes according to how you choose to exercise I think. I don't think over pumped looks good but to me Gymnastic or dancer or ballet dancing bodies look best. Yeah take up Ballet!! You could do what I do and do a physical job but thats very unscientific and would just take your wieght down and make you healthier if you ate a good diet.

Professor Blissed Guru and mentor to the stars.

.

Last edited by blissed (30-01-07 00:02:40)

Desertgirl44 · 30-01-07 10:03:56

Asthma shouldn't preclude you doing exercises for fitness, speak with your doctor or asthma support group.

Look at your diet, is it healthy and "balanced", are you getting enough good nutrients and not too much of the bad stuff (sugars and fats). (Eat bad foods in moderation.)

Try eating 5-6 smaller meals per day instead of the standard 3. But you must reduce the size of the meals. When I first tried to seriously lose weight and gain fitness I found it easier to reduce the meal size by one quarter for the first week or two. Then I reduced that sized meal by a quarter. It took me about 3 weeks to get used to the smaller meals (without feeling like I was starving to death). I still end up eating a large meal every now and then, but I don't worry about it. I just make sure the next meal is slightly smaller.

Try to make your main meal of the day around lunchtime or in the afternoon. If it suits your lifestyle. (This really helped, and it suited me for a few years but right now I've gone back to having my evening meal as the main meal.)

Always eat breakfast.

See a nutritionist or dietician who specialize in weight loss. In Australia we can access these specialists through our health care system so it doesn't cost a fortune. I'm not sure how you'd go about it in the States. Ask your PO.

Keep up the brushing. Flossing is good too. Makes kissing so much more pleasant and erotic.

shamFritters · 30-01-07 16:25:56

Many small meals is a really good approach. Also, (and this is advice I can give but it's hard for me to follow) do a little activity after eating. Take a little walk. I always want a nap after I eat.

I read somewhere that switching from coffee to tea in the morning is a good way to lose a quick 10 pounds, I'm trying it now (on day 3, so I'll let you know)

Desertgirl44 · 30-01-07 23:02:59

Reducing or, eliminating entirely from the diet any alcohol and fizzy drinks (soda, cola etc). These have huge amounts of calories in them and no nutrients. I had to stop drinking both due health reasons a couple of years ago and I lost nearly 8 kgs in the following couple of months! And it's stayed off!

blissed · 30-01-07 23:10:04

Perhaps
if you ate some of that stuff in shamfritters avatar it might do you some good :)

.

the_babar · 31-01-07 00:58:19

Desertgirl44 wrote:

Reducing or, eliminating entirely from the diet any alcohol and fizzy drinks (soda, cola etc). These have huge amounts of calories in them and no nutrients. I had to stop drinking both due health reasons a couple of years ago and I lost nearly 8 kgs in the following couple of months! And it's stayed off!

I had a similar thing DG, had to stop with fizzy drinks and caffine and any fatty foods, and combined with the illness, I lost 12kg in about 6 weeks :S Not the best or healthiest way to lose the weight, and its crept back up another 5kg, but thats to a bit more of a normal level.

Ryan, losing weight has helped me a lot. I lost 22kg (45lbs) in 15 months, the last 12kg as i just mentioned. I feel better, am much more confident about myself and the way I look, sleeping better and I have more energy. Hope it all goes well with you. But remember, true love is more than skin deep

The_West_Wind · 31-01-07 02:36:07

Ryan, I'm not sure if you'll be able to see this. But I think all the board members should watch this too.

Last year I posted an episode of Penn and Teller's Bullshit!
The eposide was on abstinance, and why it dosent work in todays society. This episode is about physical fitness.
It's kind of a step away from what you would normally expect from Penn and Teller if you have seen them before, but it is very informative and it is real.
Let it load fully before you watch it, it will take a while (it is 28 min long), but it is worth it. Enjoy.

http://video.google.com.au/videoplay?do … 6442373676

Blind_Ryan · 31-01-07 03:46:03

I love P&T! Haven't seen this one. Just got back from swimming. Down to 295. Comments after I watch it...

*28 mins later*

I'm genetically fucked in terms of a fitness model. I just want to lose my gut... this big big gut... with this pooch thing above my junk. I may not be able to get ten types of sexy but I want at least 2 or 3 different kinds

At least I don't have a fat ass.

So far I'm swimming once a day (maybe twice if I can swing it) and I'm barely eating at all (due to my schedule)

My only shooter is dinner because that's when we end up eating a bunch.

I never got into pills or nothing because of my wonderful lungs...

Last edited by Blind_Ryan (31-01-07 03:49:14)

The_West_Wind · 31-01-07 08:21:42

Mate, seriously, Eat!

Dont skip meals. The only time you should eat the most is breakfast. A big breakfast will tide you for most of the day. Consider lunch a "top up" before dinner. You're current dietary plan breaks down like this:

This is if dinner is the largest meal that you have in a day. The meal you eat the at night contains the most energy in your diet, yet night is the time you settle down and relax. This engery dosent get used by the body and ends up being converted in your metabolisim into fat. Another relult of this is it changes the pattern of your appitite. A large meal the night before will keep you feeling full (because you've been asleep for most of the night, your body will ignore feelings of hunger), and so you'll feel like you wont need breakfast.

Think of the word Breakfast, a simple break down of the word means to break the fast of the night before.

The "pooch" is a result of sudden weight loss (which as you said, you cant explain). If you keep up the effort you have now, it will eventually back down. It wont completely disapear, but there will be less to worry about.
Trust me. I'm a fellow psuedo-endomorph.

Thanks to watching P&T it has taken alot of the stress out of my workouts and it brought back the fun.

Desertgirl44 · 31-01-07 09:37:47

West Wind speaks wise words.

Swimming is excellent exercise. Keep at it. Enjoy it.

It's a long haul losing weight and getting fit. The aim should be (I believe) to get fit. You can do so much more when your fit, you have more energy. Weight will fall off as a consequence of your increased fitness. And you'll be feeling better about yourself.

You don't have to be perfect. Just happy. And full of love to give yourself and everyone around you.

The_West_Wind · 31-01-07 10:28:19

A philosophy I carry with me into the gym is this:

I look at a picture of a sports model that hangs in the gym, or I watch some show-off flexing in the mirrors, and I think this "I dont do it to look like you. I do it to look like me."

Blind_Ryan · 31-01-07 13:40:16

When I swim it's to hit the hour mark. If I make it to the hour, I've done good.

I'm Dwarven shaped. Short stubby wide appendages. Fingers, arms, legs, head, etc. (hehe)

I just want this gigantic thing in front of me gone. Thick looking is better then fat looking.

Now what to do about this road map criss-crossing my entire body (from my neck down it looks like)

blissed · 31-01-07 21:58:10

Blind_Ryan wrote:

I just want this gigantic thing in front of me gone.

You could try liposuction you could pay for the op by selling the fat to me and Elf.

.

The_West_Wind · 31-01-07 22:34:26

blissed wrote:

Blind_Ryan wrote:
I just want this gigantic thing in front of me gone.
You could try liposuction you could pay for the op by selling the fat to me and Elf.
.

They're in the soap business like Tyler and "Jack" in Fight Club.

The_Elfman · 01-02-07 00:43:40

blissed wrote:

Blind_Ryan wrote:
I just want this gigantic thing in front of me gone.
You could try liposuction you could pay for the op by selling the fat to me and Elf.
.

Oddly enough I find that proposal less than appealing.

Elfman

aven frey · 01-02-07 02:08:17

I'm not sure how I feel about Penn and Teller. I have trouble watching their tv show (have never seen any of their magic stuff) because I sometimes think they employ the same tools of properganda that they are attempting to critique. Even though in general I agree with what their on about it's like being yelled at for half an hour by an aggressive loud arrogant man! Granted though the first two episodes I ever saw were about climate change and animal activism. I got quite angry and remember thinking that anyone could find crazies that aligned themselves with movements and then edit them to make them (and the movement) look stupid.
What was said at the end of this episode I think was the best bit - 'your giving money to the same jocks that made you feel like shit in highschool' (or something along those lines). I think it would have been more interesting if they talked more (quieter yes and) about how the beauty/fitness/cosmetic sugery industries cultivate and or intensify insecurities about the body and then capitalise on them.

The_West_Wind · 01-02-07 02:27:23

You'll find that one on season two, episode eight - "Fountain of Youth".
It hasn't been posted on the internet, but it should be on TV soon. This episode offers criticism of addiction to plastic surgery, chelation, human growth hormone as an anti-aging agent, and details about the problems involved with botox.

blissed · 01-02-07 03:47:36

I don't think the people who make TV programs very often react very well or very credibly when criticised themselves, Michael moore didn't. It's one thing I don't like about TV. It has to grab the casual interest dramatically and stop you flipping to another station. Thats not a very healthy environment if you want to promote fair comment. I haven't got a TV anymore but when I had both the TV and internet I discovered how much time I'd grown used to watching one persons interpretation of a subject, and letting them hold my interest so I came back after the ads. They do this by entertaining your emotions with long musical bits to build mood

cue single low synth tone
"and what they found next was to shake not only the institute that Hoffman founded, but the very foundations of the scientific community"
break for ads

This all goes on for about an hour
if I had a genuine interest and not just a casual one thats simply taking up my time, I would go on the internet and investigate it myself in literally about 5 to 10 mins.

Also I watched a series on the ancient mummies of Egypt and the pyramids (about 6 hours worth altogether) I remember very little of it and in the 4 years I've been on the net I've never been interested in voluntarily investigating the subject at all, let alone spending 6 hours doing that. Ha ha end of rant

Blind_Ryan · 01-02-07 05:47:40

A teacher of mine suggested taking amino acid pills... or something like that... before and after I work out. Water has also been suggested.

Any thoughts?

the_babar · 01-02-07 09:42:29

Water is definetely a good thing. I think as a whole, we don't drink enough water. Water helps and aids many things, and though it may not directly help weight loss (not sure about the facts on this one), I'm sure it couldn't hurt. Will help suppress a little appetite too.

Desertgirl44 · 01-02-07 09:43:48

Blind_Ryan wrote:

A teacher of mine suggested taking amino acid pills... or something like that... before and after I work out. Water has also been suggested.
Any thoughts?

Personally I'd talk to a doctor first, or preferably, a dietician or nutritionist who specializes in weight loss for advice here. If that's not an easy option, talk to one of the trainers at your gym or swimming pool (but make sure they're actually qualified trainers and have an interest in nutrition).

There seems to be so much reliance in modern, western society upon pills. Fix this, help that etc. Often we can source much higher quality vitamins and other nutrients from a diet high in fresh food.

Weight loss I found to be a long, slow haul. But fitness creeps in underneath the fat quite quickly, within weeks of working out. If you're finding that your stamina is improving Ryan, then you're definitely on the right track with your exercise regime. Remember not to overdo it though, have a day off here and there. You don't want to burn out or exhaust yourself. Good luck with it.

Do you enjoy the swimming? I love it, it's quite meditative all that concentrating on just getting up and down the pool and achieving your goal for the session (be it laps or time).

polarchill · 01-02-07 10:04:23

Desertgirl44 wrote:

West Wind speaks wise words.
Swimming is excellent exercise. Keep at it. Enjoy it.
It's a long haul losing weight and getting fit. The aim should be (I believe) to get fit. You can do so much more when your fit, you have more energy. Weight will fall off as a consequence of your increased fitness. And you'll be feeling better about yourself.
You don't have to be perfect. Just happy. And full of love to give yourself and everyone around you.

What everyone above has said. I understand the struggle more than you can know. Keep in mind that you do have to keep a steady (not large, just steady) intake of calories coming. Get below around 1000 a day, and the body just starts bulking up on every calorie it gets hold of, and weight loss screeches to a temporary halt. What West Wind said about not missing meals is quite true.

Walking long distances, by the way, is a very good way to burn calories and fat without punishing your lungs too much. Just remember to take your inhaler, or whatever form of relief you use. When I was at the top of my weight loss game a couple of years ago, I was walking ridiculous distances a couple times a week, and also had a treadmill in the house.

Oh, and since I had a friend helping me out on the weight loss, I also always took a cell phone with me (not mine, at the time; I hate cell phones, and just got one recently). Instead of being careful to walk half as far as I thought I could, then start back, I just went the whole way, then called up my friend and said, "Okay, I'm finished. Come get me. I made it to the mall/beach/I dunno, I'm in the woods and there are these weird stick things hanging from the trees."

Last edited by polarchill (01-02-07 10:08:43)

nihpuad · 02-02-07 06:26:04

max wrote:

I'm not sure how I feel about Penn and Teller. I have trouble watching their tv show (have never seen any of their magic stuff) because I sometimes think they employ the same tools of properganda that they are attempting to critique. Even though in general I agree with what their on about it's like being yelled at for half an hour by an aggressive loud arrogant man!

I've never seen P&T's Bullshit show because it's on premium cable, which I don't get... but lately I've been listening to Penn's daily radio show on podcast. He's definitely an acquired taste: He can come off sounding loud and arrogant--heck, he'd probably confess to being loud and arrogant--and some of his views are a bit too far off on the libertarian/atheist fringe for me... but over time I've come to find him really fascinating listening. For all his loudness, he's incredibly generous with his guests and callers, and pretty much open to anything. After a while, he starts to sound more like a big, goofy kid than an arrogant, aggressive guy. IMHO, that is.

#1 29-01-07 13:45:58

Poor body image

#2 29-01-07 23:30:49

Re: Poor body image

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