The Misadventures of a Slightly Less Virtuos Virgo

Nowaysis · 21-01-07 16:17:44

"Would you like me to seduce you?"
"Yes ma'm!"

Or so the conversation might have gone. But there was precious little communication. We let our tongues do the talking instead, through pretty much the entire evening.

A friend of my brother's girlfriend, and his neighbour to boot. It's inbreeding I tells ya! So maybe it's just as well that when the time came, I was literally too tired to be physically capable of actual intercourse.

My one regret would be i didn't tell her. I was visibly shaking as if if from cold. She noticed, I said I was nervous, and then there was no more talking until much later, when I told her I couldn't get to sleep and would head home. That was at seven this morning CET. I am now just recently risen from the sleep that mercifully saved me from my own morose contemplations of failed performance.

Time for Pizza, I expect many a curious post demanding I explain what the hell this is all about when I get back.

Siobhan · 21-01-07 18:24:43

Well, here's ONE curious post!!

more more more, how d'you like it how d'you like it more more more!!!!!

hope you're sleeping well. lookin fwd to more, when you feel like it. xx

Nowaysis · 21-01-07 18:54:47

Thanks, I did sleep well, once I got home to my own bed. I felt a bit bad about sneaking out at the crack of dawn, but it's not like I made some phony excuse about having an early morning meeting at least.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that I started fooling around with this girl at my borther's girlfriend's birthday party, and continued to do so for the entire evening, until we ended up in her room (which is just across the dorm from my brother's, creepy). Much fooling, and feeling was had by all, however, I was quite honestly so tired I could barely get an erection when the momentous occasion rolled around. Although an unbiased opinion probably puts that down to gigantoid amounts of nervousness as well (like I said, I was visibly shaking).

I keep wondering what had happened if I'd just told her I'd never had sex before. I keep wondering whether the whole thing was such a good idea. Maybe I really should have headed straight home from the party, like I kept saying I would? I keep wondering if I'll manage to refrain from blushing furiously the next time I see her, whenever that'll be, I only meet her att parties hosted by common friends, and i hardly know her really.

In the end, it was not the end of the Virgin, but at least a step in the right direction, I hope. But perhaps it was a tad too much a tad too quick (I never mention this when discussing my lack of experience, but until last night, I had absolutely zip, zero, nada, zilch, not a smudgeon of experience with girls at all, seriously). And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't quite the right girl.

Blind_Ryan · 21-01-07 21:35:30

You, sir, are evil. I'm envious.

Well, congratulations anyway. Maybe I'll get there one day...

Nowaysis · 21-01-07 21:43:42

Evil? Well, that's something I've never been called before.

And I'm sure you will get there, just like I hope to make it all the way some day.

Blind_Ryan · 21-01-07 21:52:19

I can't tell you what I'd do in that situation because I've never been in it before. I'd like to say I'd jump into that but, really, you're talking about the ominous "it"

I don't know if I'd suffer from ED but I do know I'd screw it up in some form or another.

blissed · 22-01-07 00:32:59

Nowaysis wrote:

gigantoid amounts of nervousness.........perhaps it was a tad too much a tad too quick............And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't quite the right girl.

Yeah you said it there, I've had more than one failed one night stand in fact nearly all of them. I think your blaming yourself when in fact your not to blame for anything. If you were a girl you would still have been nervous, but you would've been shagged and quite possibly it was the wrong guy. You need to feel relaxed and make the right choice and so do most women too. So like them you have to have the confidence in your own situation to say nicely that you don't want to have intercourse until you know her well. With that said, your able to still please her in one of the many ways you've seen in most of the couples videos and I can almost guarantee you'll then get a very usable erection that you can't use

.

Last edited by blissed (22-01-07 00:40:19)

Siobhan · 22-01-07 00:53:21

Well, how do you know that?

This is a good topic.

Nowaysis, I'd earlier written, and then DELETED, because it was presumptuous, something to the effect of this:

I am a wee bit relieved, because I'd hoped that for you, as it was for me, you got to experience your first lovemaking, being with a person you TRULY loved and who truly loves you. Where there is a gradual unfolding of the intimcies as each person is ready to go to the next place.

I deleted it because that's just me, that's the way I had it, but i PLANNED for it to be that way, because that was the way I wanted it to be! You may have other interests, ideas.

However, many people do not have the opportunity to decide HOW they will usher in this new time in their lives. We all know that childhood sex abuse, and adolescent sexual pressures, eventuate in many people not getting to have it the way they want it.

Just keep in mind -- all the words that have ever been written about sex, and all the images that have ever been created, are just that. words and pictures.

They really need have NOTHING to do with you, and with what you would like.

I can say, without any fear of being wrong (and other women may chime in on this in disagreement, but that's their perogative, it doens't mean that what *I'm* saying is "wrong:") giving yourself over, body and mind, to a woman who is your friend, is one of the greatest gifts she will ever receive.

Ever.

When you have spoken, at times I hear the voice that comes from an internalized pressure to "be" some way, some kind of stud, some experienced hand.

Do you think that's what women REALLY want??

There is SO much BAD sex out there, being had by women, from men who have fucked a zillion women but who've never learned how to connect.

Good sex, GREAT sex, has nothing to do, in the end, with technique.

Each of you has what it takes, RIGHT NOW, to make a woman very, very happy, TONIGHT.
You don't need any practise with women who are offering to let you score with them.

In fact, that sort of practise can make you less adept.

blissed · 22-01-07 03:00:02

Siobhan wrote:

Well, how do you know that?

It's the pressure to perform that can inhibit an erection, once the pressure is gone and you relax then more than likely an erection will be there. If you both connect and are non judgemental and are considerate lovers that is gonna be much more likely. So Siobhan the way you feel about relationships and sex is pretty similar to the way I feel and is more likely to produce an erection simply because doing so is less important. But life I suppose is more unpredictable and some people of both sex's on occasion do instantly connect and have wonderful casual sex. I never really have, tho my first relationship we mentally connected and fancied the ass off each other, which I suppose made us instantly connect and we would've shared a bed that night if we could, but we couldn't find a room, so that happened 3 days later. In fact, she has turned out to be the most considerate lover I've ever had.

.

Last edited by blissed (22-01-07 11:19:31)

The_Elfman · 22-01-07 03:34:36

Thanks for sharing that with us mate. I'm pleased for you.

Siobhan (as usual) expresses my sentiments far better than I could Nowaysis. Like her I'm slightly releived that you didn't go all of the way with this girl last night. For most of us our earliest sexual experiences were "incremental". You learnt a little last night which will stand you in good stead for the next experience. And so it goes. As a mature virgin you are also in a much luckier position than most us were in that you have the emotional maturity to appreciate it when the time eventualy does come. (I lost my virginty at 14 behind a bus shelter on a cold November night. I have always regretted it wasn't a more romantic experience). Again like Siobhan I hope that when you do finaly lose your virginity it will be with someone you care for deeply and who feels the same for you.

Desertgirl44 · 22-01-07 05:34:50

Siobhan's post expresses my sentiments also Nowaysis. And good words from Elfman, Blissed and Ryan too.

Nowaysis, I'm a great believer in the idea that all things happen for a reason, that we should learn something from all our experiences, good, bad or confusing.

I also believe that life is too short for regrets. I hope you enjoyed the experience, that your recollections are fond ones, for by regarding the whole episode as a positive you will be motivated to move on into a future filled with confidence about yourself.

Congratulations, and I hope you had fun.

Nowaysis · 22-01-07 10:06:40

Desertgirl44 wrote:

I hope you had fun.

That is definitely what I will take with me (I hope). For regardless of what happened in the end, and regardless of my choice of partner for the evening, there's no way I could say I didn't have fun. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having someone to fondle and drool over all evening?

Siobhan · 22-01-07 18:02:40

well put!!!

Nowaysis · 01-01-08 22:11:28

Almost exactly a year later, I'm compelled to ressurect this thread. I don't know how many of the people who would be bothered to read and post in it are still here, but I've decided to not give a damn.

Same old me, same girl, same mixed feelings. Not quite the same result.

This time, for whatever reason, nerves and tiredness could not stop me from completing intercourse. At the time of course, it seemed like the best idea in the world, although I admittedly had my doubts even earlier during the evening. A part of me felt that the greatest relief possible last night, new years eve, would have been to go straight home from the club and sleep eight hours, alone in my own bed. A certain other part did not agree, and thus a virgo I am no more (note the absence of the age old signature affirming this now defunct fact).

On my way home (much later this time, I couldn't muster the strength to even get out of bed until well past noon) I summarised my feelings, and noticed that while there maybe should have been an element of relief, it was hardly even there. Neither were there any real regrets. A hint of it has been present as an ambient noise in all my dealings with this girl the past year, so by now I'm more or less used to it. The dominant feeling is the uncertainty. What does this mean, for me, for my relation to this girl, whom I've previously told I'm not interested in any relationship? Does it mean anything? Should it?

I don't know, and I don't know how to wrap up this post, so I'll just leave it here for the time being.

blissed · 01-01-08 23:19:05

I think it may add to your confidence when it does mean something, but it doesn't really have to, it can just be a nice experience for you both.

.

Nowaysis · 01-01-08 23:28:09

Yeah, that's how I'd like to keep it, a nice experience. The problem is, I'm afraid she might not be content with that. And I can't deny that I've more or less known that all along.

blissed · 02-01-08 00:15:08

You'll have to talk to each other about it, and tell her how you feel and in doing so be prepared to lose her affections to someone else at some point, thats the difficult part :) Your an attractive person, I think you'll meet someone that suites you, it's just a matter of luck.

.

jwhite · 02-01-08 01:12:18

I think, even though I have not been completely successful in this regard, that it is good policy to remain friends with everyone with whom you have swapped bodily fluids. For me, the easiest way to do it has been to express the ambivalence you are articulating. Then you can find out if there is any reason to look for something deeper, or keep it light. Of course, I have an ex-wife that hates me (my other intimates could be said to be friendly, if perhaps remote), so take this advice with that thought in mind.

aven frey · 07-01-08 07:02:33

Nowaysis you're such a tart these days! As long as you are a honestly intentioned tart I think all is well! xo

#1 21-01-07 16:17:44

The Misadventures of a Slightly Less Virtuos Virgo

#2 21-01-07 18:24:43

Re: The Misadventures of a Slightly Less Virtuos Virgo

#3 21-01-07 18:54:47

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#4 21-01-07 21:35:30

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#5 21-01-07 21:43:42

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#6 21-01-07 21:52:19

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#7 22-01-07 00:32:59

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