The person below

aven frey · 28-12-06 02:11:53

ha ha funny you should say that Blissed, my boyfriend says that to me all the time but I say I have no sense so I have less money!

The person below has resolved to go on a new year diet because they ate too much over Christmas and they are tired of their jeans digging into their tummy! (no this is not about me!)

blissed · 29-12-06 04:14:51

Max if you have no money you should do what all the other people do with no sense and borrow it :-) just kidding,
I still need to put a little bit of wieght on actually and I eat loads of food! This person who isn't you who has their jeans digging into their tummy a little, I bet they still look fucking amazing and gorgious

The person below is afraid of the dentist and has never been, and has a brown smile and can't take care of any plants or small animals because everything they breath on dies.

(no Max this isn't about you either ha ha, you've had all your dental agony for one year :-)

.

Last edited by blissed (29-12-06 04:18:08)

Calenture · 29-12-06 09:58:24

I think you'll be waiting a long time for someone to cop to this one, blissed, so let me say that - while my teeth are not my best feature and I am indeed afraid of the dentist - I absolutely do not have a brown smile. It might charitably be described as 'ivory'.

I have just made an absolute arse of myself by spilling a HUGE dollop of melted chocolate ice cream down the front of my (white) shirt while walking along the street. I then had to get all the way home holding my folded umbrella in a very peculiar manner that made me look as if I was paranoid that someone was going to snatch it off me. That was the only way I could hide the stain.

The person below will relate an amusing anecdote about spilling things.

Last edited by Calenture (18-04-09 14:32:04)

blissed · 29-12-06 13:45:10

Ha ha yeah
your better off sticking to exactly the same colour icecream as your shirt
You should've gone for vannilla.

I was once told that if you can piss you can paint (walls) so I set myself up as possibly one of the worse painters and decorators there is. So it's a tale of multiple spillings really, the worst of which was when I was painting the wooden windows of a large Georgian house, I spilled gloss paint on a smooth stone wall which I think you can only get off with a graffiti busting sand blaster. I can't believe I just left the customer a note and fucked off. But he soon caught up with me when I answered the phone. It was a keen cash price with no contract which under the circumstances was the best way for me to do business

the person below once had serious delusions about their own capabilities, but since then they've outperformed their own expectations and are now in fact very very succesful. Please tell us the secret of your success or at least hint at it below. I'd be soooo grateful if you did, because as you can tell from the anacdote above I'm now getting a little bit desperate for good advice.

.

Last edited by blissed (29-12-06 14:07:53)

The_Elfman · 29-12-06 16:15:02

Because I'm me blissed. Because I'm me.

The person below has a fetish for goldfish.

Elfman

PS
I hope you all had a great Christmas.

The_West_Wind · 30-12-06 08:04:45

The Person below deeply missed the person above while he was away from the forum.

Best wishes to all of you on this- the cusp of the new year!

blissed · 30-12-06 23:47:34

I've had to find your posts and read and re-read them gazing lovingly at every word through tear filed eyes. I'm alright now tho your back

Elf, I've long grown out of the goldfish thing.

Anyway, through my spiritual healing powers that I possess, I've had a vision, and that vision was, that the person below will unexpectedly come into money next year and will not only be able to pay off all their debts, but live comfortably for the rest of their lives, work free. This will only happen to the person below, because they post below. Doing so will set off a butterfly effect chain of events that leads to this happy outcome, get posting!!

.

The_West_Wind · 31-12-06 00:16:45

I could do with the cash, thanks.

The person below me is a best selling Author.

Last edited by The_West_Wind (31-12-06 00:18:46)

Siobhan · 31-12-06 01:59:41

Well now, since I missed out on the comfort of a work-free, debt-free rest of my life, I'll jump in here and take on the authorship of my new life as a best-selling Author! Maybe if I play my cards, er, words right, I can parlay that into a debt-free, work-free future, eh?

So now, tell me, lads and lasses, in which genre shall my best-selling authorship begin?? (This is a serious request for your guidance!)

---------

edit: I was so excited about my new future, I forgot the person below!

Let's spread the joy, shall we? The person below is currently single but wishes for a mature, rich, and abiding love with a partner who will love and adore him/her. I'm happy to confirm that, Person Below: THIS IS YOUR YEAR!

Yes, you will be finding the partner this year with whom you will be creating that firm foundation, that wonderful, joyous erotically fulfilling couplehood.

Here is part of Paul's letter to the Corinthians, in which he speaks of love and, while he was probably talking about love for God, these words should help you prepare for your extraordinary year:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Congratulations! and very best wishes --

s.t.

Last edited by Siobhan (31-12-06 02:11:42)

blissed · 31-12-06 02:32:35

Do I just get one? thats a bit disappointing because I was rather hoping for a polyamorous future, people are just so selfish aren't they, they think they own you.
But now my fate is sealed I guess. I better make the best of it

The person below never actually gets what they want.

,

Last edited by blissed (31-12-06 02:33:10)

Siobhan · 31-12-06 02:56:58

hmm, blissed.

at the risk of sounding like a Scrooge, methinks it possible that someone else might be a happier recipient of everlasting love with e partner!

Adagio · 31-12-06 03:15:24

I would be a happy recipient of everlasting love with a partner. Does it require that I think it's possible?

the next person is going to tell us the first step in finding everlasting love.

blissed · 31-12-06 03:32:29

Siobhan wrote:

hmm, blissed.
at the risk of sounding like a Scrooge, methinks it possible that someone else might be a happier recipient of everlasting love with e partner!

Adagio wrote:

the next person is going to tell us the first step in finding everlasting love.

Lol hey you can't do that!! the first step to finding everlasting love is to demand it back!! I posted in the right place and I demand my rights

The person below is a talented writer and is capable of being a best selling author and will demonstrate that with a bit of prose below.

.

Last edited by blissed (31-12-06 03:34:37)

Siobhan · 31-12-06 05:31:38

You know, it's very funny you should post that.

First off, I'm glad to see that you've repented the error of your ways, dear boy. I declare that both blissed AND Adagio have a very very powerful year ahead of them, should they choose it -- and Yes, Adagio, there IS a requirement -- that you believe it can happen. Just remember the silly old saying: If you can BELIEVE it, you can RECEIVE it!

Now, Blissed -- since last I posted to take advantage of TWW's bestowal of best-selling Authorship, I have been cleaning up my mother's computer. I happened to find a folder on it marked STEMS (my initials) and I -- cautiously, mind you -- opened it.

I'm kind of flabbergasted by what I found, even though it was nothing mind-blowing, just unexpected, as I didn't recall having ever created a folder on my mother's computer.

(Don't worry. I promise this is relevant, eventually. . . .)

There were:

1) A letter to an erstwhile accountant in which I respond to her questions about my mother's health.

Hmm. My mother's health?

Apparently I'd written to her on April 10 (wow, cutting it close to US tax day) 2002, and was typing from my mother's hospital room. Also apparently I was up here (in DC) taking care of my mother -- I don't recall for what.

Another .doc is a list of all of the meals I'd made her and where to find them in the fridge and freezer, and what to serve with what. I guess that was for my dad and my brother(s).

There's something touching about this, esp given that my mother and I don't exactly get along. But what puts a flutter inside my sternum the most is that i have absolutely no memory of this:

no one needs to bother to read this. i guess i just wanted y'all as witnesses of the fact that i don't recall ANY of this (for one thing, i cook totally from scratch, even bread-baking, and that's a lot of food to not recall making):
MOM's MEALS
Thursday lunch: pasta pomodoro / salad / bread
dinner: chicken soup / pasta primavera /
Friday lunch: pasta pomodoro / salad / bread fruit for dessert
dinner: hurricane stew / salad / bread fruit for dessert
Saturday lunch: leftovers either stew or pasta pomodoro
dinner: (TAKE-OUT DINNER from freezer by 4 pm)
before going to bed on SATURDAY, remove zucchini pasta from freezer, and either hurricane stew or chicken soup to THAW.
Sunday lunch: zucchini pasta in red sauce / salad with tuna
dinner: soup or stew / bread / salad
Monday lunch: asparagus/artichoke pasta with thin slices of tomato and sprinkled parm on top, microwaved for 1 1/2 mins. + fruit or salad from the crisper (green lids)
dinner: hurricane stew (remind her that this was Grandpapa Cheek's recipe)
Tuesday. . .
Wednesday. . . .

-----

Then -- in the same folder with my initials on it -- there was a file called "When_I_woke_up_the_next_morning."

These are the first few paragraphs (and this is what's relevent to your post, blissed -- and i'm not suggesting that this was well written, simply befuddled that it was written at all) :

When I woke up the next morning, the ache in my head was gone, and there was nothing to do but face the day. Without the normal routines to pull me along, I forced my way through the narrow hallway into the washroom under the attic. The old brass fixtures hadn't resumed their habitual leak, so I knew the water was still cut off. I hung my head over the sink and poured what was left in the copper kettle over the back of my neck, loosening the hardened blood and grime and my general sense of despair, and felt about as lonely in the cold October morning as anyone should ever have to feel.

When I got downstairs, I saw that Abby had kindly splayed two dead mice across her water bowl. After what I'd seen that week, I didn't think a person should have to witness more blood and viscera. It's comforting to know, however, that the habits of this house don't stop when its master goes AWOL.

Reuben and I got to work early, and spent every daylight hour with the pickup and the chainsaw, cutting the fallen trees into moveable pieces, and generally making the horror look less, well, horrible. When I got too sweaty and itchy and sore, and so angry I didn't trust myself to run a motorized blade, I moved to stacking wood on the woodpile. There's orderliness to a job like that that can put a person's mind to rest.

We worked in silence until the sky turned slate, thinking and not thinking, and not talking about any of it.

About the time my head began its telltale thud, Reuben stuck his hand in the cooler, pulled out two longnecks, and motioned to the picnic table. I set after him, thinking that his normal taciturn disposition was just what I wanted right about now. I felt like I didn't ever want to talk again, didn't ever want to listen to people's stories, and wondered how in the sam hell I'd ever manage when we opened the inn back up for business.

And just when I was basking in the gratitude that comes from having a companion who reads your mind and gives you what you want, that damned old boy started running his trap.

-- You ever hear 'bout elephants and bamboo trees?

-- Nope.

I looked out long over the pasture, affected a faraway gaze, and took a pull on my bottle. Then I ran a hand over my coverall, slow, like I was lost in a significant rumination that should not be interrupted by talk of foreign species.

It didn't work.

-- John Cooke told me this last year, yep, about this time. See, when a elephant driver in India wants to confine his animal, he don't do nothing more than loop one end of a rope around the creature’s big ol neck, and the other around a bamboo tree. Any bamboo tree -- a spindly little thing will do just fine.

-- Uh-huh. I was working some of the dried blood out from around my nails with the label from the bottle.

Reuben didn't like that.

-- Listen here, Lyall; this is a tale to take note of. I've been watching you all day, all het up inside yourself like if you turn the wrong way you're gonna break. Now you sit down there and pay attention.

I put the beer down and looked at Reuben. He was trying, that was certain.

-- And I want you to imagine that you're the elephant, ok?

-- Ok, I said. And so he began again.

------

It goes on for some pages. If you don't know about elephants and bamboo trees, I'll tell you some other time.

This is so odd. Halfway between really fucked up and kind of intriguing. Because after I'd read a couple of pages, I realized that I was the person who had written them.

But I have no memory of having done so.

Just thought I'd share, given that I found these files just before you posted, Blissed.
I'm not an especially wonderful writer, but maybe I actually tried to be a writer, and then forgot I'd made the effort? Seems worth another go, since I'm clearly losing my mind -- might as well get the words out now, before there aren't any.

The person below has also found notes and lists and songs and things that s/he has no memory of having written.

Last edited by Siobhan (01-01-07 04:43:54)

Jareth · 31-12-06 09:37:32

To be the recipient of everlasting love probably doesn't require that you believe that it's possible, but I'm not sure that you would recognize it for what it is if you didn't believe in it.

The first step in finding everlasting love, though not necessarily required, I would think would be to spread your own love far and wide, unconditionally to whomever would be open to receiving it.

The person below is going to smile at my naivety. :-)

polarchill · 31-12-06 14:02:06

If I'm smiling, it's only from recounting some good and not-so-good memories. I think I was once that type of person, before I became a bit guarded from having life slap me around. Still, not a bad way to try to live one's life.

Note to Siobhan: Loved the excerpt/retrieved memory. Do you have any memory now of where you originally intended the piece to head, from that point in the narrative?

The person below doesn't think Christmas is a big humbug, but will list another holiday that he/she has always considered a waste of time/money/effort/sentiment.

bolero · 01-01-07 02:41:00

Christmas itself is not a big humbug - I don't think, but the commercially exploitive nature of it is a huge humbug. Among my top contenders for the title of biggest humbug of all are holidays like "fathers day" and "mothers day". WTF historical event or any event do they mark apart from a time when all retailers are able to rely on for a little boost in their takings? Ngggrhhrrhaag!

Oops nearly forgot.

The person below avoided their grottiest little addiction during their last holiday.

blissed · 01-01-07 15:26:18

Speaking as someone who works for a retailer, I think it would be a great idea if we all celebrated half birthdays. It would be a another great opportunity to let the people who are most important to you know how much you love them.

I haven't got any grotty addictions. I'm addicted to soy sauce but thats not grotty thats nice. I think I must be nearly perfect.

the person below is looking for other like minded people to form a network to save the planet from covert alien invasion. (taking over our bodies) of course, this isn't an immediate threat, but as you know, still a very real possibility.

.

Siobhan · 02-01-07 06:22:20

blissed wrote:

the person below is looking for other people to ... save the planet from covert alien invasion.
(taking over our bodies).

Blissed, in my country we have a name for those covert alien invaders, who are taking over our bodies and annihilating our planet.

We call them Republicans.

.

And yes, folks, it's true. I am looking for other people with whom to say: "Hey! I want my body back! And, while you're at it, could I have my party? And my country?!!"

Oh, heck, why stop there? "Would you PLEASE RETURN THE PLANET in the same condition it was when you took it?"

I do differ with you, blissed, on one account. You said that this covert invasion is not an immediate threat. The only reason it's NOT an immediate threat is that it already happened.

Anyone who wishes to help plan the first global IFM "Take Back the Planet" march, email me. I know dauphin's in; anyone else?

Meanwhile, I don't think my earlier "person below" query (see above) was answered, so let's just recycle it! (As a "take-back-the-planet" activist, I support a no-waste economy, unlike those pillaging, profligate covert alien invaders.)

Adagio · 02-01-07 06:26:39

Siobhan, would you please stop being so timid and just tell us what you really think

Now back to the recycled thingy:

Siobhan wrote:

The person below has also found notes and lists and songs and things that s/he has no memory of having written.

aven frey · 02-01-07 06:34:05

I'll march with you.
When I was about 15 I found a box full of books. I remember constantly writing stories when I was a kid but when I was reading them back I couldn't for the life of me recall writing this stuff. It was really funny, all these stories about girls leaving home and traveling round the world by themselves!!
The person below has friends in high places.

bolero · 02-01-07 07:21:46

I've met Sir Edmund Hillary and he's been to the highest place of all on this planet.

The person below is about to divulge their innermost yearnings.

blissed · 02-01-07 07:40:13

I've been working all night and I'm yearning for my bed now.

When I wake up the person below will have created a beautiful, entertaining and insightful post for me to read.

.

bolero · 02-01-07 10:55:47

blissed wrote:

When I wake up the person below will have created a beautiful, entertaining and insightful post for me to read..

That's definitely not me. I flick the ball on.

Blind_Ryan · 02-01-07 11:12:11

Alright. I'm game.

Those the Gods wish to kill, they first drive mad.

That's the only thing I can think of... so I'll post:

From My Myspace that I rarely update:

Top 10 Blinky Truths

10. It's not every day that a 10 car pileup happens outside of your house... usually they happen inside and are prone to muss the carpetry

9. Once, when I were a wee tot, I learned the phrase "wee tot" and used it for a year to describe my mother.

8. It's not that Opeth and Symphony X are BETTER than normal metal.... They're just more awesome. They could make a virgin break her cherry with a broom... yeah. Metal rules.

7. When I was in high school, I was beaten up by a bunch of black kids not because I was a white but because I was a wight.

6. Wow, this list is pretty random... could it be that I couldn't think of 10 truisms?

5. Adaptability is a key trait for a successful life.

4. Learning enough nigger/spic/redneck/chink gang speak can save your ass in jail.

3. "Just because I can't see you doesn't mean you're not ugly." Best put down I've ever made up on the spur of the moment.

2. Don't ever think your life sucks because somewhere out there, a woman is getting her clitoris forcibly removed or an innocent is getting "rotisseried" in prison.

And the NUMBER "a" Blinky truism... isn't from me at all....

a. "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you..."
---Friedrich Nietzche

The person below me will love bologna.

Last edited by Blind_Ryan (02-01-07 11:14:05)

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