The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

Nowaysis · 06-12-06 12:53:39

Why do I write?
A 601 word essay by the Resident Virgin of IFM

Partly to make things happen, I think (I thought while taking a dump a few hours ago). When it comes to fiction (prose that is) I seem to often write things I would like to see happen, whether it be to fictional characters or to characters obviously representing me and the people around me. In short, I write down daydreams and fantasies of different kinds. I'm guided very much by spur of the moment ideas, by intuition, and first and foremost by fickle, very fickle inspiration. What some writers would describe as the characters and the story having a life or their own, I tend to see as my own inability to focus and write the story I had in mind, instead of succumbing to my own subconscious' wishes for the protagonist.

Maybe.

The "make things happen" line also leads me to an interesting sidebar, which is that I can (almost) never take down notes about what's going to happen next in a story. The reason for this is that if I take down notes, the events will already have occurred, as it were, in the fiction, and thus I find it very hard to be bothered to write them properly, because imagining, or inventing, and writing, thus playing out, an event are very tightly interconnected in my creative process. I'm very much the same when I write short "essays", one or two pages, for university. I don't plot them out very much in advance, instead I let the thoughts come as I type, in a way inviting the reader to follow my thoughts and my thought process, and my ever evolving thoughts on the subject.

But that was a sidebar.

I also write to simply "express myself". If there i something on my mind, something I truly feel strongly about, I have to get it out, and I have found that writing in one way or another is the best way for me to do so; be it as fiction, column style editorials or poetry.

I write because I have found over the admittedly few years I've been doing it, that I like it. It gives me a sense of fulfilment and purpose, much like an honest hard days work might also do (given that I at least somewhat enjoy whatever work it is that I do, if not, a hard days work is just that, and needs to be forgotten and rested away as soon as possible).

In part I write for preservation. I used to keep an online journal on an online community, and it was there that I first discovered my penchant for writing. At first it was nothing more than a glorified diary, and perhaps it still is, but it wakened this need in me, and it also started an obsession with some form of record keeping. One might say I write to make sure I am not forgotten, that there is some visible trace of me, my soul if you will, not just my belongings and potential offspring, left after I have died and turned to dust.

I mentioned prose as a defined category above, and poetry again has its own rules an premises. It is almost all about the expression of a feeling, emotion, an idea, something that strikes me with such overpowering cerebral force that I cannot choose but express it in words structured or unstructured, rhymed or unrhymed. That or it's just a pretty phrase that pops into my head. To leave a pretty phrase unaccompanied and thus potentially unevolved is all but a crime against the nature of thought and language.

------

That's not all I have to say on the matter, I'm sure, but it's all I can think of at the moment. I'm also afraid some of it doesn't actually say what I wanted it to, but that's fickle inspiration for you. ;)

I leave you with poetry [o]n motion, set in a night club almost two years ago

The author within wrote:

She moves like God's immaculate machine
She moves in a skirt of brown denim jean
She steps up and down in brown leather boots
She sways to and fro with her chestnut roots
And it reminds me of what I am
And it reminds me of what I'm not

Last edited by Nowaysis (06-12-06 12:56:40)

bolero · 06-12-06 20:03:22

The_Elfman wrote:

Why do I write? For the reason that I do anything creatively challenging. To prove to myself (and to someone who has been dead for 40 years) that I can. Elfman

Yes it is a creative challenge, but it's an intellectual one too. If I could draw in the forums everything that goes on in my brain I would be the most prolific poster on the site. Creativity has a certain exclusivity about it. Cabinet makers have it as do musicians, architects, and the list goes on and on. What is creative talent for one may not be for another and so it is with writing. Some people write because of the very reasons you say Elfman and they may or may not be very good at it; just as some people paint and may or may not be very good at it. I think it's what strikes a chord somewhere within you. You do it because there is a searing compulsion to answer the challenge. I know a very good artist who seldom produces a painting and laughs it off by saying she's lazy. I don't believe in "laziness", but I do believe in fear. People are "lazy" often because they are afraid of the responsibility involved in whatever it is. Fear of success for instance. Anyway sorry about marauding the direction of this thread, I've just been trying to say that I'm a scaredee kat.

Bolero

dyslexius · 06-12-06 21:25:06

Nowaysis wrote:

...To leave a pretty phrase unaccompanied and thus potentially unevolved is all but a crime against the nature of thought and language.

Wow!

dyslexius · 06-12-06 21:40:51

bolero wrote:

...So I give in to familiar waves of inferiority which come washing through me and do nothing.

You're being so silly.
I think you write magnificently.

--dyslexius

The_Elfman · 07-12-06 02:00:13

bolero wrote:

People are "lazy" often because they are afraid of the responsibility involved in whatever it is. Fear of success for instance. Anyway sorry about marauding the direction of this thread, I've just been trying to say that I'm a scaredee kat.

I think a lot of what you say bolero is about comfort zones. I'm a great believer that comfort zones exist only so that we can step out of them.

bolero · 07-12-06 05:39:36

Yeah, without them nobody would do anything would they? Like we have to have political activists to know where the middle line lies.

Bolero

dyslexius · 07-12-06 05:44:35

Calenture, I've been working on a response to your question, and it's getting real tedious! That is, it's becoming an essay that will surely be a tough read (I'm at about a full page now and the end's not in sight). I didn't want to write anything about my childhood, but I started doing it anyway. I tentatively began to write about two marriages and a romance (um, that's three relationships). To try illustrating my love for music, I was about to write out an analogy between that indescribable feeling in the gut when Cheryl (she, of the romance above) first glanced at me upon entering a room and that feeling when hearing the entry of the second subject in the first movement of Beethoven's Eroica symphony. I undertook this whole exercise in an attempt to convey how a confirmed outsider, one who experienced no social or familial attachment of any kind during his first three decades, felt when, suddenly, is offered a modicum of acceptance (and perhaps to ramble on yet further trying to differentiate between acceptance by others and acceptance of one's self). I began writing about how one who did nothing with music except play recordings for his first four decades goes about making a composer of himself. I've been psychoanalyzing myself. How tedious! What do I do now? I throw away that draft, and give you the short version...

The reason I write (music) is: I feel that if I can write some music that does not, in my opinion, pale in comparison to some of the long-dead composers (and a few who are less dead) whose music I revere, I will become a member of the club. I will finally belong. I might even accept myself.

--dyslexius

dyslexius · 07-12-06 06:30:49

Yes, Cal, our two posts did cross. I'm glad I didn't have yours to look upon as a precedent, else I might have included all the angst and autobiographical detail of the two-page draft I wisely pitched. Your superior writing skill makes for a compelling read, but mine would have been, well, tedium!

--dyslexius

bolero · 07-12-06 06:55:52

Calenture wrote:

So I write because I hope that if I do it well enough it might justify the mess I have managed to make of everything else.
You can see the attractions of a forum like this for someone like me can’t you? Because unlike ‘real life’ all that is required here is an absence of malice and a genuine wish to understand other people’s experiences: to listen as well as to speak. And I have been listening. Thanks to everyone for posting such interesting responses. Nowaysis, you write very well. If my reasons seem to be rather different from yours, I don’t think you need let that worry you. Bolero, your contributions are valued.
I should warn everyone in advance that I shall delete both this post and the earlier posted excerpt on Monday. Think of it as a limited release confession.

Calenture, what you have written here has opened up a hole in my chest like a cavern. How dare I write about my own fear when you are expressing such -well vulnerability. I almost said pain, but I'm not sure that it is pain, so I can't say anything more than what I've said. Take care.

Bolero

Siobhan · 07-12-06 07:02:22

#:D# glad to see you back, Bolero! And anyone reading your words can see that you certainly are a wonderful contribution to the forum.

Cal, et al -- this is such a wonderful topic and, whew, i'm dealing with it right now in the writing i have to do for work.

and of course it's all so ego-centric, the pain that comes from not being able to communicate myself.

bolero · 07-12-06 08:25:43

Thank you Siobhan and I like your new "picture" - I forget the proper word for it.

Bolero

Calenture · 07-12-06 09:31:43

Is that Elizabeth Perkins?

Dyslexius, I presume that the two marriages and the romance were not all on the go simultaneously. Now THAT would be a story.

I'd like to encourage everyone to keep going with the general discussion. That way things will be more interesting for latecomers.

So here's a thought. I have the opportunity of writing a book that is guaranteed to be published - because it's part of a series. However, accepting the offer means I have to write according to somebody else's theme and brief and accept a lot of editorial interference. Would you accept such an offer? (Never mind what I would do.)

Last edited by Calenture (07-12-06 11:21:29)

Nowaysis · 07-12-06 09:56:13

That's a tough one. Having never been anywhere near a publisher myself, I wouldn't know what to expect in the way of editorial interference even if I was writing my own book, but I would probably consider it, then (hypothetically) make my choice based on how I felt about the series. Is it something I can be proud of, or at least not ashamed of having contributed to? Can I make a contribution that is worthwhile (in the framework that the series itself works and is worthwhile in)? And last but perhaps not least, is the payment worth the possible guilty artistic conscinece of having given in to the powers of the market?

And the instant I hit [submit] I realised I didn't even try to answer the question, I only analysed the components of the possible answer. The story of my life.

Last edited by Nowaysis (07-12-06 09:57:28)

polarchill · 07-12-06 12:38:14

Calenture wrote:

Since no-one wants to talk about 'whys' (with the notable exception of The West Wind) and I enjoyed everyone else's contributions, I thought I might post my own excerpt. This is from a finished but unedited novel. (I mean unedited by a professional. I’ve been rewriting it for two years.) I’ll delete it in a week or two whether or not anyone reads it. It's a fairly self-contained excerpt.

Fantastic piece. I look forward to its publication. I can't wait to see how this more bestial character interacts with a society (or non-society, as it were) that is so dead inside. Will Cur terrify this world? Will they be destructive to each other, or is his animalistic, "throwback" nature actually a harsh but neccesary remedy to this cold culture? (something like Zardoz, but so far much more interesting and far more subtle)

polarchill · 07-12-06 12:55:55

Calenture wrote:

So here's a thought. I have the opportunity of writing a book that is guaranteed to be published - because it's part of a series. However, accepting the offer means I have to write according to somebody else's theme and brief and accept a lot of editorial interference. Would you accept such an offer? (Never mind what I would do.)

A few years back I had a friend who could have gotten me in with the "For Dummies" people. I declined the offer, partly because I was having some personal problems at the time, but mostly because "how to" books weren't (and still aren't) my thing. I wanted to follow my dream.

The opportunity only presented itself once, and I've never had a chance to make as good money (i.e., quit the "day job") since. The lesson? It was good to follow my dream, but there will always time at the end of the day to squeeze in a few paragraphs of my dream projects. I was a sucker not to take a good gig, just to get more financial freedom. Then I would have had MORE time to follow my dream.

Last edited by polarchill (07-12-06 12:56:52)

Calenture · 07-12-06 13:29:22

Je ne regrette rien.

Is that the correct spelling? I Googled it and it came up both ways. I don't speak French.

Last edited by Calenture (08-12-06 07:06:49)

Siobhan · 07-12-06 13:48:01

Had it been spelled differently elsewhere? I -- my intent in using the phrase, as you've used it on another thread, was to suggest that I feel a LITTLE guilty about minipulatively trying to ensure that your words remain here with us-- as anyone should be able to retract their own thread posts -- but not TOO guilty. . . I was trying to be sort of arch and funny, but I failed! Which, of course, is really the heart of my horrific writing block -- pretty much anytime I try to communicate through writing, when the stakes are high, I fuck up. It's getting comical, at my work, how often and how regularly I appear to mangle my intended meaning.

Siobhan · 07-12-06 14:56:14

um, would that be Swedish, by chance?

and, yes, Ms Piaf, it's rien. (where is joli when we need him?)

polarchill · 07-12-06 14:56:37

Siobhan wrote:

Had it been spelled differently elsewhere? I -- my intent in using the phrase, as you've used it on another thread, was to suggest that I feel a LITTLE guilty about minipulatively trying to ensure that your words remain here with us-- as anyone should be able to retract their own thread posts -- but not TOO guilty. . . I was trying to be sort of arch and funny, but I failed! Which, of course, is really the heart of my horrific writing block -- pretty much anytime I try to communicate through writing, when the stakes are high, I fuck up. It's getting comical, at my work, how often and how regularly I appear to mangle my intended meaning.

Polarchill: What do you do for a living?

Siobhan: Suicide hotline. *rimshot*

Thank you, folks. I'll be here all week.

Siobhan · 07-12-06 14:58:54

::BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!::

thanks for the best way to start the workday -- a hard long laugh.

but, yeah, actually, it's kinda like that lately.
::off for champagne-infused meeting::

bolero · 07-12-06 18:33:10

Siobhan wrote:

It's getting comical, at my work, how often and how regularly I appear to mangle my intended meaning.

Hmmm, if only the written word had the tone and texture of the spoken word, then nobody would screw up when writing. Which is why, of course, artists of the written word are so skilled. They can convey tone and texture in their choice of words and the composition of them. At a more fundamental level the written word has massive weaknesses in the hands of the wrong people. Or is it people have massive weaknesses in the hands of the wrong words? Consider management memos which do the rounds of workers and has half of them lining up to jump in the harbour and the other half swigging at bottles of whisky; when all that was intended was to tell them that the factory was closing early for Christmas. This is not that bizarre. I've read managment memos that cause such anguish. To my everlasing shame I've even written a few too; in the old days when I thought that management was about power and not leadership!

Bolero

blissed · 07-12-06 22:46:18

bolero wrote:

the written word has massive weaknesses in the hands of the wrong people. Or is it people have massive weaknesses in the hands of the wrong words?

.

Nowaysis · 07-12-06 23:59:01

I just thought of another reason why I write: Attention. It's so basic, so fundamental, it's a wonder it wasn't the first thing on my mind when the question was posed. The very reason I first started writing that wretched online journal was that I wanted to attract attention to myself and my feelings, but knew of no socially acceptable way to do it directly. Of course, there's more to it than that, but I won't bore you with the details of the failed love life of my youth. I mean, that would be self indulgent.

The_Elfman · 08-12-06 01:36:13

Nowaysis wrote:

I won't bore you with the details of the failed love life of my youth. I mean, that would be self indulgent.

Since when has that ever stopped any of us?

The_West_Wind · 08-12-06 02:14:52

True

#101 06-12-06 12:53:39

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#102 06-12-06 20:03:22

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#103 06-12-06 21:25:06

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#104 06-12-06 21:40:51

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#105 07-12-06 02:00:13

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#106 07-12-06 05:39:36

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#107 07-12-06 05:44:35

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#108 07-12-06 06:30:49

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#109 07-12-06 06:55:52

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#110 07-12-06 07:02:22

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#111 07-12-06 08:25:43

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#112 07-12-06 09:31:43

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#113 07-12-06 09:56:13

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#114 07-12-06 12:38:14

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#115 07-12-06 12:55:55

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#116 07-12-06 13:29:22

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#117 07-12-06 13:48:01

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#118 07-12-06 14:56:14

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#119 07-12-06 14:56:37

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#120 07-12-06 14:58:54

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#121 07-12-06 18:33:10

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#122 07-12-06 22:46:18

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#123 07-12-06 23:59:01

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#124 08-12-06 01:36:13

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

#125 08-12-06 02:14:52

Re: The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

Board footer