#1 21-07-14 11:15:34

Elsa_H

Member

Registered: 28-04-14

Posts: 66

Why Elsa shouldn't get wasted

I haven't been posting much on here lately (sorry!), so I thought I might let you in on some of the shenanigans I've been getting myself into...it's not a sexy story, but it is pretty funny and I don't mind providing you with the chance to have a chuckle at my expense!

The incident I'm going to share, took place on Saturday night. I went to my friends bands album launch, overindulged in whisky, binged on some late night fries and made my way back to my humble, albeit falling apart abode. I reached the front door and realised I'd left my keys on the table! Oh no! I contemplated waking my housemate up but didn't want to make her cranky since she had an early start at work and decided it was no big deal, I'd just break in through the kitchen window. My housemate has done it before so I figured it would be no trouble. Our windows are the old school louver type, with horizontal panes of glass slightly overlapping so that when you pull a little lever, they open. We've been missing the bottom pane of glass since before I moved in, so I figured all I needed to do was remove another pane (they slip out easily), get my Indiana Jones on and wriggle my way through.  So I started doing just that and everything was going smoothly until it came to my bum. I realised three things; 1) if I didn't rearrange my position, I was going to plummet head first over my sink onto the kitchen floor. 2) my housemates bum is significantly smaller than mine. 3) I was way too drunk to be attempting to do what I was doing. So my final decision was to try and roll over, with my body half inside the window and my booty underneath the glass of the windows. All of a sudden I heard a CRACK, turned around and lo and behold - I'd broken part of the window and was lying amongst shattered glass with my hands in the sink and my feet pointing straight out into the night. I moved the larger pieces of glass, did what I can only describe as a manoeuvre to rival those of a contortionist and made it inside without a scratch. Nailed it!

Monotreme

Member

Registered: 21-05-07

Posts: 763

Re: Why Elsa shouldn't get wasted

Well, I'm glad you came through ok. It sounded more like being born than like breaking into your house.

Elsa_H

Member

Registered: 28-04-14

Posts: 66

Re: Why Elsa shouldn't get wasted

Thankfully I'm a bit hazy when it comes to memories of my birth, but I imagine this was a lot less messy (luckily for me). I actually had another disaster last weekend...a friend of mine moved back to England which meant farewell drinks (too many farewell drinks). Whatever time I left the bar and crumbled into my bed escapes me, but I woke up a couple of hours later when my boyfriend got home from work. I get really horny when I'm drunk, so things got heated pretty quickly and all I wanted to do was orgasm. I was wet beyond belief and I tried every trick in my repertoire; I used fingers, my vibrator, I tried while my boyfriend was inside me and kept trying even after he'd finished and fallen asleep. Oh, poor neglected me.  Eventually I admitted defeat and threw my vibrator at the wall in a fit of sexual frustration. I'm still unsure as to whether or not it woke up my housemates, no one mentioned anything so I think I got away with it.

Last edited by Elsa_H (22-07-14 06:09:05)