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While perusing Women's Health Mag, in between planning my 30-day summer bikini body and reading about those 5 kettleball mistakes I am probably (read: definitely) making, I was so happy to find this article about The Best Masturbation Tips Ever.
Normally I don't read any of these dumb clickbait articles, especially from women's publications which always end up with me feeling fat and weird, and especially don't read ones about sex - how many times ought I be reminded to suck dick with an ice cube in my mouth, anyway? So I was pretty quick to pass this over after the initial eye catching - I'm always attuned to anything about masturbation, of course. But I thought twice and realized, this may be the first time I've actually seen an article about girls masturbating in one of these lady mags. It's always sex sex, how to please your men, what is he thinking of when he kisses you, how to read his mind in 12 calendar months, how many ice cubes should you put in your mouth etc - so actually, this article is kind of exciting simply because it exists.
And it's GOOD! the tips are good. I found myself thinking about going home and well, not lighting candles or putting soft music, but, ya know, trying it on my knees. Or bending myself over my own bed. This article even suggests getting on all fours! And it says I can fantasize about anything I want to without feeling guilty! If even I feel a little warm rush of relief and acceptance reading those words, how good must it feel for someone who doesn't spend their days talking about how all fantasies are great and masturbation is great and sex is great etc?
As a twice a day minimum jerker-offer when my boyfriend is away, these tips are good for me - and I think they are good for womankind. I love the way the article casually assumes that most women could ride their vibrators through a commercial break, as if girls masturbating was as socially nonchalant as all that. Well, it's not - but with the help of articles like this in Women's Health Mag, of all places, it's getting there. Viva la revolution.
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Did you see sad Bob in the comments? He is sad.
Anyway question for the menz. So ice cubes during head, doesn't that just make your dick a bit numb?
Who the hell wants to read any dudes mind when you can just read Kurt Vonnegut? This question is for the ladiez.
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poor sad bob! so sad.
It's apt that you bring up the ol' KV today, Aven. I am harnessing many of his philosophies today in order to attempt to continue to be a good human person. Are you reading something? Have you read something? Oh god can we talk about books?! *puppy mode*
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alas as the NBA season is well underway I am no long reading anything except Grantland and Deadspin. I'm trudging my way through an audio version of American Psycho at the moment but it's so hard going, especially when you're editing the naked ladies at the same time as Bateman is cutting them up.
But tell me Viva, which specific philosophies are you harnessing? What are you reading? What is you favourite KV? These questions are for all the peoplez.
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woah ok! yes! i was referring to Bokonism from cats cradle, and the little untruths we tell ourselves, and also the advice from God Bless You Mr. Rosewater - “Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.” I'm trying, anyway.
It's good stuff.
Right now I am reading this stupid YA fiction I can't get out of. It's like a vortex of little marching books full of testing centers, ominous dystopian leaders, love triangles and the fierce desire to do the right thing (as long as the decision making process is not too morally complex and the heroine doesn't wear down her tough leather boots with too much pacing or thought. Every time I finish a series I breathe a sigh of relief and touch around me for something substantial... but every time it is like a funhouse, I think I'm about to start some nice biography and end up nose-deep in "The Maze Runner". ffs
I've decided the only way out of this trap is to read every single YA dystopic novel published since 2011. I've read 32 of the damn things since this started a few months ago, so, only like 348 more to go.
I'm also simultaneously keeping it grownup by reading Transmetropolitan (the graphic novels) and a few too many bad literotica wank stories.
My favorite KV is depends on the day and I hover between Slapstick, Galapagos, and Sirens of Titan! They are all the best book.
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Hey! This article you put in link is very interesting !
And before you highlighted it, I've never realized that // even in women mags ! // pieces of advice were 'men-focused'. What a shame !
As you were saying Viva, this article is interesting first of all because it exists. But didn't you feel a bit of 'déjà vu' in the content itself ?
I don't know, I'm not an expert and I come from a different country //so I might have other pieces of information conveyed by the medias// but don't you think that saying 'try other things', 'why don't you find your G-spot' or 'listen to music' are not very usefull/magic pieces of advice ? I think that a 'put 2 and a half icecubes in your mouth to please your man' is quite more funny and practical than a 'G-spot mystical quest' Ahah !
Yes, I think that's the point, for me, it lacks of hard facts contrary to what we can find in our women mags about how to please a man.
But maybe we're more complicated ?! ^^ Who knows...
Anyway, thanks for sharing, some of the tips are very nice to keep in mind !!
Sorry, I have some homework to do now... ;p
Last edited by lena_D (13-01-14 04:35:10)
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Hiiii lena!
Well I think "find your g-spot" is kinda boring advice, but then when they advise the kind of toys that will help you do so, it suddenly gets interesting. "Listen to music" also boring, but the idea of trying different body positions, I like... mainly the idea that a women's site is talking about masturbation as if it's no big deal, is a big deal by itself I think
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