Malachi

dyslexius · 08-11-06 00:27:09

This news article is about a friend of mine:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1236 … 04.article

Some may consider his expression naïve but most will see the passion that made Malachi's presence in our lives enriching and unforgettable. Here are a couple things he published recently:

http://www.savagesound.com/gallery99.htm

http://www.savagesound.com/gallery100.htm

More than a few of us are wondering why this could happen to a guy so integrated into a community that he cared passionately about, and how a guy who went out every night amongst colleagues could feel so alone.

--dyslexius (I'm not seeking expressions of sympathy for any loss to me, personally, in fact, I'm not 100% clear why I even posted this, except perhaps that I now consider all IFM'ers friends too)

blissed · 08-11-06 00:55:07

Well your getting an expression of sympathy. Thats really sad.
Imagine being his father, after 52 years to loose him like that.
People who are depressed can seem quite normal and happy but
their holdingback their dark thoughts and if they can nolonger do that
they can be overwhelmed by them. If someones a freind being aware of the signs isn't easy but if you can pick up on whats happening to them then
advising them to ring a suicide advice line is the very best advice you can
give them and will very likely save their life, because many of them are brilliant. I know you'll get over it in time but I'm still very sory to hear about your freind.

.

The_Elfman · 08-11-06 01:26:43

Are you OK Dyselexius? As blissed said you might not be seeking expressions of sympathy but I am concerned about you. It is always terrible to lose someone we care for but for it happen in such a dramatic and violent way only amplifies the loss. From his writing Malachi was obviously a very special person and it is obvious that you cared for him and respected him dearly. It is always difficult for us to understand why anyone should choose to end their lives in such a way. It is easy after the event to think "I should have seen this coming" and blame yourself. I hope that you are not falling into that trap. It isn't constructive. Remember your friend for what he was in life, not for the way he chose to end it.

Elfman

dyslexius · 08-11-06 02:15:22

I'm doing okay, thanks a lot. Yes, I had no idea this could happen, and I consider myself fairly perceptive. It's been a while since I last saw Malachi, but I just communicated with a few who saw him just before the end, and they too were completely taken by surprise. I wonder if those who actually go through with it enter a kind of inner peace near the end and thus outward signs of distress are gone. That seems to have been the case with Malachi.

--dyslexius

Journeyfan · 08-11-06 02:32:37

I would just like to add my condolences Dyslexius

I know you said you were not looking for any sympathy, and both blissed and The_Elfman have already said, far more eloquently than I can put into words, exactly my own feelings.

(A few years ago a workmate took his own life. We all knew he had "been a bit down" for a while, but no-one, either at work or home, realised to what extent. He was an extremely intelligent man with a wickedly dry sense of humour and was liked and respected by everyone. I think it is right to say that everyone who knew him felt varying degrees of "guilt" for not reaching out more or for not appreciating how bad his depression really was. It truly devastated his family and his workmates).

Please take care and be well

Thinking of you at this difficult time

JF

dyslexius · 08-11-06 03:14:04

Oh man, thanks so much to Blissed, Elf, JF -- A lump in my throat does occur when I think about Malachi now, but, I'm really fine. He was a friend with whom mutual respect evolved (He recorded 1,000's of the shows that I had the fortune to do myself a handful of times). Here's an image of him that I think will stay with me for some time:

--dyslexius

The_Elfman · 08-11-06 04:26:13

Now that is the way to remember the man. Having the courage to stand up and fight for what he beleived in.

Elfman

ashmedi · 08-11-06 04:29:59

That is so sad

I feel badly for his family and friends who will surely blame themselves for this act and I feel badly for Malachi who felt this was the only way to make himself heard.

polarchill · 08-11-06 08:06:57

The_Elfman wrote:

Now that is the way to remember the man. Having the courage to stand up and fight for what he beleived in.
Elfman

Amen.

dyslexius · 08-11-06 14:01:49

It's good of all of you to respond. Locally there have been and will be more organized vigils/rituals in memory of Malachi, but I feel good about widening his recognition via a community like this -- you folks are quite special ( perverted or not :--).

--dyslexius

Burlesque · 08-11-06 16:00:41

Such an act (especially one of this unusually violent kind) speaks of someone desperate to be heard, someone who feels he has no options left but one of extremity. Malachi must have been a man of passionate emotion and conviction, so passionate that in the end he felt the need to very explicitly show the world what turmoil he had kept inside.

I am not as a general rule against the individual's right to end his or her own life, but there are of course other considerations, first and foremost the people left behind with their questions, grief and potential guilt. Malachi's suffering is over, but evidently there are quite a few people who will suffer for a long time yet because of his actions. There are suicidal people who make the effort to cut off contact with the people in their lives before committing the act, and I find this considerate and kind. Obviously Malachi was in no emotional state to think that far ahead, and I'm sorrier about that than I am about anything else in this sad story.

Pardon me if I have been a bit harsh.

Burlesque.

dyslexius · 08-11-06 18:17:35

Burlesque, don't be concerned about 'harshness.' You are being candid, and perhaps revealing yourself as a rationalist (if I may be so bold). It beats equivocation any time. But I don't agree there exists any cut-and-dried way of preparing one's friends for the impending act through some sort of disengagement as a prerequisite to suicide. Suicide is always a singularly bad deal -- there's no "right" way to do it, and, isn't it always irrational?

--dyslexius

Burlesque · 08-11-06 18:57:40

dyslexius wrote:

Isn't it always irrational?
--dyslexius

I beg to differ, but I shall refrain from barging in with my theorising and opinions in what is a very real and tangibly unpleasant situation for you, Dyslexius.

Burlesque.

dyslexius · 09-11-06 18:13:37

A followup on Malachi by the Chicago Sun-Times:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/roeper/130 … 09.article

--dyslexius

drinksun · 09-11-06 18:19:47

He just barely missed the regime change...that's really too bad.

dyslexius · 13-11-06 14:21:24

I have concluded there is some shallow excess in our local community in terms of venerating Malachi.

an improvised music forum member wrote:

A word of caution. In exalting Malachi's suicide, we seem to be overly romanticizing his dramatic final act. No one who has posted here was close to him; no one really knew him. There's more than a hint of mental problems in Malachi's behavior and life history. How deranged was this man? We don't know. Let's hope that all this adulation doesn't entice others to copy his behavior.

This forum member also noticed that people who barely knew Malachi are crawling out of the woodwork in droves. She is the only one so far who has "had the balls" to post a message carrying a different perspective (and I doubt she's been influenced by Burlesque).

--dyslexius

Last edited by dyslexius (13-11-06 14:31:27)

aven frey · 14-11-06 06:41:07

this all must be very intense for you Dyslexius, hope your doing okay xoxoxo

dyslexius · 14-11-06 15:52:16

I'm doing very well, Max. It was very thoughtful of you to check in. Your presence makes me wonder how differently Malachi's outcome would have been had he substituted a ferris wheel ride for a few of these situations:

It is, and has been for some time (since even before Bush), a difficult time to be an American. What is coming into focus for me is that the Malachi-thing has at its core become a metaphor...

--dyslexius

dyslexius · 03-12-06 01:37:27

http://www.guardian.co.uk/antiwar/story … 24,00.html

#1 08-11-06 00:27:09

Malachi

#2 08-11-06 00:55:07

Re: Malachi

#3 08-11-06 01:26:43

Re: Malachi

#4 08-11-06 02:15:22

Re: Malachi

#5 08-11-06 02:32:37

Re: Malachi

#6 08-11-06 03:14:04

Re: Malachi

#7 08-11-06 04:26:13

Re: Malachi

#8 08-11-06 04:29:59

Re: Malachi

#9 08-11-06 08:06:57

Re: Malachi

#10 08-11-06 14:01:49

Re: Malachi

#11 08-11-06 16:00:41

Re: Malachi

#12 08-11-06 18:17:35

Re: Malachi

#13 08-11-06 18:57:40

Re: Malachi

#14 09-11-06 18:13:37

Re: Malachi

#15 09-11-06 18:19:47

Re: Malachi

#16 13-11-06 14:21:24

Re: Malachi

#17 14-11-06 06:41:07

Re: Malachi

#18 14-11-06 15:52:16

Re: Malachi

#19 03-12-06 01:37:27

Re: Malachi

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