The Official IFM write-off (MkII).

Nowaysis · 29-10-06 23:00:27

I think I just snorted loudly in front of my monitor.

Best. Chat. evar.

Burlesque · 29-10-06 23:29:37

The_Elfman wrote:

As far as good grammar is concerned there is a world of difference between speaking and writing. When writing you have the time to consider and even edit what you are saying. A luxury you don’t have whilst speaking.

I missed this post, Elf. When you do post, you do it quicker than the eye can follow.

You are quite correct, but that makes it all the more odd that most people write even more poorly than they speak. Present company excepted - I'm not being smarmily sycophantic when I say that this forum still maintains in linguistic quality what it may sometimes lack in, er, substance.

Burlesque.

The_Elfman · 29-10-06 23:55:11

Burlesque wrote:

I'm not being smarmily sycophantic when I say that this forum still maintains in linguistic quality what it may sometimes lack in, er, substance.

I agree. One of the constant joys of this place has always been the lucidity of its members.

Dyslexius.
I enjoyed your poem "We Gave Them No Mirrors". I am no literary critic. I lack both the desire and the credentials to be one. What I am qualified to say as an actor is that it "reads" very well and as I have said before on these pages poetry is the art of the spoken word, not the written.

Elfman.

dyslexius · 30-10-06 04:03:41

Burlesque wrote:

We seem to see eye to eye on this, Dynamo, even though you're polite and British about it, while I'm more barkingly genocidal.

geeeesusz, "barkingly genocidal"

...in spite of my knowing you dislike icons...

You, Burlesque, are invited to guest lecture in my graduate-level
English Creative Writing class (...well, you would be invited
to do this if I were an English professor and department chair)

--dyslexius

Last edited by dyslexius (30-10-06 09:47:41)

Cate · 30-10-06 05:46:50

I hope I'm not lowering the tone of this thread with this if anyone thinks so I can always delete it. Iused to love writing as a kid but now very rarely write anything exept short dirty stories that I write for a friend. Here's the most recent of them. It doesn't have an end and I am not a good writer. I actually feel quite uncomfortable expressing myself in writing. Anyway

Hands on my shoulders pushing me against the high desk, the cold laminate cutting into my back Adam pressed me backwards bitting my lip. I whimpered in the hopes of more, fumbling for his belt clumsily grasping only to have him draw away. He told me he’d seen me watching Paul, how my hand had slipped up my skirt brushing against my thigh playing with my stockings while I watched. At the mention of our lecturer Paul my hips moved forward my fingers catching and lifting the coarse fabric of my skirt slightly. My knees spreading, the cool air hit my wet panties releasing the smell of an hour’s restrained arousal. I stammered out an apology knowing that he didn’t really care he’s just trying to make me feel guilty. Tugging at his shirt hem I brought him back letting him know it hadn’t worked. His hard cock and skinny hips pressing into me he lifts me up on the now warm bench my legs moved apart hot against his sides. Lifting my top up he bites my hard nipples through my mesh bra leaving a wet trail of saliva over the pink fabric. Looking up he watches as I unpin my hair letting the long tangled strands fall to my waist. Reaching behind me he twists it round his fingers pulling on it I let out a groan as he undoes my bra. Still holding the hairpins I stretch out my nipple clamping a pin onto the tip causing a sharp hot ache I then pin the other. With my hands free I reached for his belt hastily opening his jeans. Reaching for his cock I moved my weight forward as his fingers slid down my back to part my ass. Pulling me forward and off the bench I grasped is cock feeling its heat between us. Spitting in my hand I rubbed the wetness over the head and down the shaft. Gripping my wrist I let go of his cock as he turned me round holding my hands out from my body he licked my back brushing his teeth on the skin. Letting me go I stayed in place as he slid his cock up and down my slit before entering slowly, playing with my opening then thrusting in. With each of Adam’s thrusts my body moved across the table my skirts scrunched up around my waist, skin sticking to the surface the hairpins tugging and twisting at my nipples. Lifting my body I squeeze my hand under to rub my clit my hand movement restricted by the weight of my body and sharp edge of the table digging in. The door opens behind me and I try to lift myself to look around but Adam has his hands on my back holding me down. A chair scrapes across the room just into my view. I see Paul sitting down nodding to Adam. I lift my head to see him more clearly my cheek red from being stuck to the bench. He’s opened his fly, getting hard already stroking his cock his hand works in rhythm with each thrust of Adam’s. Looking up into his eyes I catch the slight shaking of his head in disproval. I’m not meant to watch. Turning away I call out to Adam to bite me, I demanded again. I needed to be punished for my distraction, have my attention regained. On the third request he bit hard digging his teeth into the base of my neck holding on for a few seconds before releasing the bruised skin. My fingers on my clit circled faster. Another sharp bite this time on my arm as Adam’s hands tighten on my hips, nails cutting at my skin. Thinking of Paul stroking his cock at the sight of Adam and I. Imagining it sliding into my ass in rhythm with Adam’s stretching and hurting me, I begin to whimper. My skins red from heat and arousal my shoulders starting to shake and lurch with my orgasm. I fight to keep my fingers in place. Smacking my knee into the table as my hips move faster rubbing my clit against my hand, trying to get Adam deeper in me I let out a grunt as I come. My body slackening I feel his tense as his pace quickens. I hear moans from where I know Paul to be and finally turn back watching

dyslexius · 30-10-06 05:54:05

The_Elfman wrote:

Oo oo oo since we are all making fools of ourselves in print who wants to hear me do it? ...

What an uncommon experience! I become acquainted with one Elfman through scores of posts (as I have with hundreds of others, surely, on the internet), but then after one month of little paragraphs ranging from the mundane to the humorous to the very clever (not unlike the posts of all the rest of us), his actual voice fills my living room uttering some of the most celebrated words in the history of English. Jesus, what a wonderful world this is. I mean, look -- I design digital systems and write microcode for a living, and they only pay me if what I do is up to the bleeding edge, so you'd think what goes on over this rather boring thirty-five-year-old technology known as the internet would leave me unmoved. Not, not, Not!

Isn't it sublime to be able to exchange a few bits of information across continents -- the same kind of bits traveling over the same channels that Chase Bank used just now to debit your account -- and be touched so deeply?

Elf, your reading of Hamlet's soliloquy took me back to a local theatre production I attended a few years back (you're probably aware that Chicago was considered the major center for experimental and "off-broadway" theatre in the USA -- I think it's still high on the list but Seattle and Minneapolis seem to be getting the kind of attention we got, say, ten years ago). Anyway, in this production, Hamlet speaks "To be or not to be", and then turns his back to the audience, and with a spray can paints upon the wall, rather than speaking it, "...that is the question." My recollection of how that actor performed the role is quite fuzzy, but I do recall its lyricism and that fact it differed from what I was accustomed to from films and recordings. Your reading also strikes me in this way -- I felt as though hearing it for the first time! Thanks a lot for recording it! What a beautiful pile of words, isn't it?? By the way, I really do think Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare.

--dyslexius

dyslexius · 30-10-06 05:56:59

Nowaysis wrote:

I think I just snorted loudly in front of my monitor.
Best. Chat. evar.

I was not so lucky. I snorted on my monitor.
These guys are turning me into an animal.

(my edit: ...and Cate's post just now is not helping me one iota to return to my, ahem, um, normal self)

--dyslexius

Last edited by dyslexius (30-10-06 06:06:53)

dyslexius · 30-10-06 06:24:09

The_Elfman wrote:

Dyslexius.
I enjoyed your poem "We Gave Them No Mirrors". I am no literary critic. I lack both the desire and the credentials to be one. What I am qualified to say as an actor is that it "reads" very well and as I have said before on these pages poetry is the art of the spoken word, not the written.

Now, see here, Elf. Did you expect me to read that and maintain my normal pulse rate? Did you expect me, furthermore, not to go into a rapturous fantasy with you, at the core, reading my poem? Did you!? Of course not. You are much too sensitive and perceptive to have been unaware of the consequences of your power and influence in such matters. So, now then, Elf, any format will do. Maybe, um, maybe a WAV file. Yes, a WAV file! Maybe, wrapped in an RAR archive...

--dyslexius (who is truly humbled - thanks for the powerful encouragement, Elf)

The_West_Wind · 30-10-06 07:43:07

It's not too late to join in if you have something Liandra.

polarchill · 30-10-06 08:16:15

Cate wrote:

I hope I'm not lowering the tone of this thread with this if anyone thinks so I can always delete it. Iused to love writing as a kid but now very rarely write anything exept short dirty stories that I write for a friend. Here's the most recent of them. It doesn't have an end and I am not a good writer. I actually feel quite uncomfortable expressing myself in writing. Anyway
My body slackening I feel his tense as his pace quickens. I hear moans from where I know Paul to be and finally turn back watching

*mopping off forehead* No, no, that's . . . quite entertaining, really.

Seriously, though, you do a good job of expressing yourself erotically. It's all in the difference between putting down something that captures the heat you feel within you, and just jotting down some dirty words. You definitely do the former, not the latter.

--
Polarchill

dyslexius · 30-10-06 08:42:46

Elf, many of my musical works, no matter how long ago I last touched them, keep calling me back for a tweak here or there. I'd like to go back to many of them and fix this or that. This is true of my poem as well. I'm happy with everything except for the final line:

Claimed not by society, yet buried by the body-politic.

I've never been happy with its rhythm, but cannot find a way to fix it. I've always wanted to remove a single beat from the final phrase, or at least weaken one of the words. I've tried these:

Claimed not by society, buried by the body-politic.

Claimed not by society, yet buried by a body-politic.

Do you think either of these alternatives works better, or should I just stick to the original?

--dyslexius

PS: You know what -- one of your earlier posts gives me an answer! Here:

The_Elfman wrote:

...poetry is the art of the spoken word, not the written.

I'm too embroiled in the look of the page! A reader can de-emphasize the word "yet", and I am utterly golden. What do you think? I believe I've (well, you have!) made a case to retain the original.

Last edited by dyslexius (30-10-06 08:51:46)

Journeyfan · 30-10-06 11:24:20

The_Elfman wrote:

.... To download it to your computer click on the URL below and then scroll down to the bottom of the page and click the "Free" tab in the bottom right hand corner. On the next page scoll down to the bottom of the page and right cilick and save the top of the two links, the one after "Download To_be_or_not_to_be.rar from Cogent-network:"
http://rapidshare.de/files/37525271/To_ … _to_be.rar

Elfman.

Elfman (or anyone else for that matter who can help out this PC illiterate fool

I have followed your instructions to download, but am having no luck at all.

After clicking on the "free" tab on the first page, the following page loads with a clock that counts down from 60-0 secs saying "please wait".

Once this has happened a three digit code is requested followed by a download link. Each time I have input the required code and clicked the download link, I get taken to another page which says that the request to download has failed. A couple of possible reasons are given like "using a different IP address" and "if an AOL user", none of which apply. Am I doing something obviously wrong (very probable!) that anyone can answer?

Thanks in advance.

JF

P.S. I have just tried again and now it says that I have "used up my free download limit"!! (Fine .... if I'd actually managed to download anything at all).

(I suspect it will be me who's missing something - like several brain cells!)

dyslexius · 30-10-06 12:37:16

Hi JF,

I just tried it again to see if anything is broken on their end. Like my original download, this time I also chose the second server, because it seemed to be the least busy, according to the statistic they show (all this is right above the edit-field into which you type the unlock code). You might have blown right past it without realizing you can choose an alternate server (this site has one of the strangest user interfaces you'll want to see here in the 3rd millennium).

The servers are chosen by clicking the appropriate radio button (it seems to be defaulting to the upper one), and I chose the one looking something like this: "...from Level(3)-network: dl35l3.rapidshare.de (5281 of 10000 MBit/s in use)"

Then I typed in the three-character access code, and clicked on the pushbutton immediately to the right. Right away, the familiar download file dialog opened and I'm golden, once again. I wonder if your browser, anti-spyware, or firewall could be suppressing the file dialog through some kind of popup window suppression.

--dyslexius

The_Elfman · 30-10-06 13:23:15

dyslexius wrote:

The_Elfman wrote:
Dyslexius.
I enjoyed your poem "We Gave Them No Mirrors". I am no literary critic. I lack both the desire and the credentials to be one. What I am qualified to say as an actor is that it "reads" very well and as I have said before on these pages poetry is the art of the spoken word, not the written.
Now, see here, Elf. Did you expect me to read that and maintain my normal pulse rate? Did you expect me, furthermore, not to go into a rapturous fantasy with you, at the core, reading my poem? Did you!? Of course not. You are much too sensitive and perceptive to have been unaware of the consequences of your power and influence in such matters. So, now then, Elf, any format will do. Maybe, um, maybe a WAV file. Yes, a WAV file! Maybe, wrapped in an RAR archive...
--dyslexius (who is truly humbled - thanks for the powerful encouragement, Elf)

OK dyslexius. I'll be delighted to give you a reading of your poem. I don't have time today I'm afraid but I will record it tomorrow, upload it to Rapidshare and post the URL here.

About the possible rewrite of the last line. I would stick with the original if I were you.

I'm pleased you enjoyed my reading of the Hamlet soliloquy. I murdered the verse stucture of course but I'm not someone who beleives that you have to be married to every comma and full stop in Shakespeare. It is the meaning and expression of the text that matters to me.

I love poetry reading. I want to build up a collection of recordings of my favourite poems. I have a special fondness for 19th century stuff. Poetry reading was far more popular then and a lot of this was written specificly to be recited in public. I have Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade and Kiplin's The Ballad of Gungha Din already recorded. I'm looking at Richard's final soliloquy from Richard II at the moment. It is one of the most difficult speeches in Shakespeare and I'm a long way off recording it yet. I also want to record Wilde's The Ballad of Reading Gaol. This takes about 30 minutes to recite.

This is all marvelous practice for an actor of course.

I don't supose you (or anyone else for that matter) knows of an audio version of You Tube do you? Once I have some of this stuff down in a form that I am happy with it would be nice to put it out somewhere.

Elfman.

The_Elfman · 30-10-06 13:41:35

Cate wrote:

I hope I'm not lowering the tone of this thread with this if anyone thinks so I can always delete it.

Don't even think about deleting it Cate. This site is about eroticism and this thread about our writing. It is apropriate for it to be here.

It's a fine peice of erotic fiction Cate. I could picture clearly everything that happened in that room. Very vivid writing.

dyslexius · 30-10-06 14:15:19

The_Elfman wrote:

I'll be delighted to give you a reading of your poem. I don't have time today I'm afraid but I will record it tomorrow, upload it to Rapidshare and post the URL here.
About the possible rewrite of the last line. I would stick with the original if I were you.
I'm pleased you enjoyed my reading of the Hamlet soliloquy. I murdered the verse stucture of course but I'm not someone who beleives that you have to be married to every comma and full stop in Shakespeare. It is the meaning and expression of the text that matters to me.
I love poetry reading. I want to build up a collection of recordings of my favourite poems. I have a special fondness for 19th century stuff. Poetry reading was far more popular then and a lot of this was written specificly to be recited in public. I have Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade and Kiplin's The Ballad of Gungha Din already recorded. I'm looking at Richard's final soliloquy from Richard II at the moment. It is one of the most difficult speeches in Shakespeare and I'm a long way off recording it yet. I also want to record Wilde's The Ballad of Reading Gaol. This takes about 30 minutes to recite.
This is all marvelous practice for an actor of course.
I don't supose you (or anyone else for that matter) knows of an audio version of You Tube do you? Once I have some of this stuff down in a form that I am happy with it would be nice to put it out somewhere.
Elfman.

Thank you Elf, thank you, thank you. I can't tell you how much I look forward to hearing your reading. Until I posted it to this forum, it had been seen only by family and my girlfriend at that time. Because it's the only poem of mine not embedded in some music, this is a first for me and, well, I'm rather excited you're doing this!

I don't know about murdering the verse structure, but I'll guess that the performances heard by the Bard were necessarily much different than many of today's due to the intimacy achievable through technology (loud speeches to reach the back row versus a microphone that picks up the frustration signaled by a sigh of breath -- which is a delicious aspect of your recording).

Shakespeare, Tennyson, Kipling, Wilde, and room for Dyslexius. What can I say?

As for the audio equivalent of You Tube... I don't know, but just the other day, somebody posted, right here, a suggestion to Dynamo -- oh yeah, it was Nowaysis -- about an audio upload site. Maybe that's a good one. Soundclick.com, was it...?

--a grateful dyslexius

gala · 31-10-06 02:24:21

Liandra wrote:

You're not alone...it had the same effect on me. The most beautiful and wise expression of life and death I have ever read.
(sorry this is a little late in the thread)

thanks li. i like when you give my posts attention. x

dyslexius · 31-10-06 08:14:59

The_Elfman wrote:

Cate wrote:
I hope I'm not lowering the tone...
Don't even think about deleting it Cate...

*tucking shirt back in, flicking hair off forehead back into place (in the best Polarchill tradition)...* Cate, I hope you follow Elf's advice, but if you can't, would you please leave the erotic part up there.

--dyslexius

Last edited by dyslexius (02-11-06 05:32:44)

dyslexius · 31-10-06 18:37:25

I just received a wonderful gift from our friend, the Elfman. He's a man of his word and today has recorded a deeply thoughtful reading of my poem -- a reading that reveals qualities in it I didn't even know were there, and, get this: He was reluctant to post here a link to his recording pending my approval! That's right, I'm referring to the same man who gave us that uniquely eloquent Hamlet soliloquy a couple days ago.

So here's a link to a reading of my poem that I've had the great fortune to, well, to fall into:

http://www.archive.org/details/Elfmansr … No-Mirrors

May I tell you the lesson I've learned since joining this forum: Keep an open mind -- you never know who you'll find or where you'll find them.

Thanks Elf!

--dyslexius.

PS: I noticed that Elf also has some other readings up there that he might be willing to link to from here.

Last edited by dyslexius (02-11-06 05:33:19)

The_Elfman · 31-10-06 18:59:35

dyslexius wrote:

I just received a wonderful gift from our friend, the Elfman. He's a man of his word and today has recorded a deeply thoughtful reading of my poem -- a reading that reveals qualities in it I didn't even know were there, and, get this: He was reluctant to post here a link to his recording pending my approval! That's right, I'm referring to the same man who gave us that uniquely eloquent Hamlet soliloquy a couple days ago.
So here's a link to a reading of my poem that I've had the great fortune to, well, to fall into:
http://www.archive.org/details/Elfmansr … No-Mirrors
My I tell you the lesson I've learned since joining this forum: Keep an open mind -- you never know who you'll find or where you'll find them.
Thanks Elf!
--dyslexius.
PS: I noticed that Elf also has some other readings up there that he might be willing to link to from here.

Thanks Dyslexius. I'm pleased (and releived) that you approved of my reading. It's always a little scary when you know an author is going to hear your interpreation of their work. You're always afraid that they might think that you have mis-represented them.

I only have one other reading currently uploaded to The Internet Archive. Kipling's Ballad of Gungha Din. Today this poem seems very unpolitcaly correct and even racist and patronising but such things must be judged in the climate of the times they were written. It's a fine example of English 19th Century "Performace Poetry" and I have tried to reflect the spirit of the times in my reading:

http://www.archive.org/details/ElfmansReadings

Elfman

Burlesque · 31-10-06 19:11:49

After this, if anyone has the gall to say that The Elf isn't a good actor, I'm perfectly willing to start taking contracts. Oh, don't worry, Elf, you won't have to pay me, and I'll bring my own rifle.

Burlesque.

polarchill · 31-10-06 21:25:22

dyslexius wrote:

I just received a wonderful gift from our friend, the Elfman. He's a man of his word and today has recorded a deeply thoughtful reading of my poem -- a reading that reveals qualities in it I didn't even know were there, and, get this: He was reluctant to post here a link to his recording pending my approval! That's right, I'm referring to the same man who gave us that uniquely eloquent Hamlet soliloquy a couple days ago.
So here's a link to a reading of my poem that I've had the great fortune to, well, to fall into:
http://www.archive.org/details/Elfmansr … No-Mirrors
My I tell you the lesson I've learned since joining this forum: Keep an open mind -- you never know who you'll find or where you'll find them.
Thanks Elf!
--dyslexius.
PS: I noticed that Elf also has some other readings up there that he might be willing to link to from here.

Very nice. Good poem, good reading. Class act all around.

--
Polarchill

The_West_Wind · 01-11-06 01:37:55

I wouldn't mind doing a poem reading too, if I knew how to post them.

blissed · 01-11-06 01:59:42

If you send me an mp3 I'll post it for you.

.

The_West_Wind · 01-11-06 05:12:07

Cool. Now all I need is a poem (any takers?), a quiet space and a little time.

I'll have a go.

Last edited by The_West_Wind (01-11-06 05:12:44)

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