The word for the deed

Gryphonself · 08-12-12 17:22:20

It may have been discussed in the past but frankly 82 pages of topics are too many to go through. So, what is your favourite word for the deed? Which ones do you like, are there any you dislike? Then again, there may be more than one, depending upon mood and circumstance. Dunno... I have yet to find one that I can wholeheartedly endorse.

blissed · 08-12-12 21:48:27

When I talk about sex and porn I like the phrase sexual inspiration. When I'm talking sex to get horny I like phrases that are embarrassing, mischievous and inappropriate.

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richard · 09-12-12 09:26:29

I find it strange that we have no formal verb in english which means 'to fuck'. You can kiss, lick, suck, touch...you can get to every base except the last one. What about in other languages?

Ramabe · 09-12-12 11:36:43

richard wrote:

I find it strange that we have no formal verb in english which means 'to fuck'. You can kiss, lick, suck, touch...you can get to every base except the last one. What about in other languages?

What about "to have sex" instead of "to fuck"?

Talking about other languages I'm thinking of German. In this language "begatten" is a formal verb with meaning of "to fuck". For this reason a man who is married with a woman is sometimes called her "Gatte" ("husband").

You may also say "ficken" as direct translation of "to fuck". However, "begatten" is sounding like rather old fashioned style and "ficken" has a very vulgar touch. You'd better say "lieben" ("to love"). In the Holy Bible as translated by M. Luther it is called "erkennen" ("to recognize").

richard · 09-12-12 14:16:50

"To have sex" isn't a verb. And could describe many things besides intercourse. I would expect at least a scientific word - the closest is 'fornicate' but it's an intransitive verb (you can't 'fornicate' somebody, only 'with' them).

Is "begatten" a formal word, or a slang word or profanity?

ashmedi2 · 09-12-12 15:50:43

What about Copulate ???

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/copulation

Last edited by ashmedi2 (09-12-12 15:52:11)

viva · 10-12-12 00:35:32

richard wrote:

"To have sex" isn't a verb. And could describe many things besides intercourse. I would expect at least a scientific word - the closest is 'fornicate' but it's an intransitive verb (you can't 'fornicate' somebody, only 'with' them).

This is very interesting. I think it's really telling that you are looking for a verb you can do to somebody - whereas I might go looking for a verb somebody can do to me. One can kiss, lick, touch - and so can one's partner - but there is no word besides euphemisms like love, do, sex (kids are using sex as a verb nowsadays) that we can both do TO each other, because sex - intercourse - isn't done to someone. It is definitely, when properly done, done with someone. As an independent experience I can receive, and someone holding something phallic can give, but the very nature of sex is the balance between the taking and giving. What one word can encompass that?

Fuck works really well for me when I'm feeling raw, crude, really desirous. Otherwise I go to my poetry - but the words I use will naturally be receptive, as am I. I want to be taken, ravished, pleased, done, I want to get laid, be used, filled - for the most part, I am a passive object. But this is only for me, as an individual.

When I share we do it together. We fuck together, have sex together, we make love together, we lay together, we couple, entwine, sleep together, we have intercourse together, we copulate together, and we breed together.

Ramabe · 10-12-12 11:01:57

richard wrote:

Is "begatten" a formal word, or a slang word or profanity?

It is a rather old fashioned formal word but nearly never being used in current common speech. There is even a little problem to it. "Begatten" is only that what a husband does with his wife when they are making love. If you want to have a word in which both are involved you may take "copulieren". Another word in which both are involved is the slang term "vögeln", derived from the Latin "voglia" which is "pleasure".

Gryphonself · 11-12-12 05:30:22

Yes, so much within words and so many words, not surprisingly, for one of our fundamental and so central to our being expressions. I think previous generations had the sex roles more fixed and unquestionable, with the words reflecting the active and the passive more evidently, a thing I always abhorred. I was always in need of a word which would describe the thing people do together, not what one does to another.

However, here I was asking specifically about masturbation. Again, most words seem to circumscribe or color it in certain ways. Take "wank" f.e. I may be wrong but I have always associated it with a more macho male attitude for something you do to get it over with, more or less. It does not seem to be able to express the intense immersion you have when masturbating. I am not a native speaker but this is the connotation I get. So on to another word. Masturbation. What about it? Heavy on the sounds: the "st" and the "turb", especially the last is unwieldy and graceless. A word of sex manuals and cautionary discourse. Onanism, biblical. Und so weiter...

your thoughts?

viva · 12-12-12 02:51:32

*laughs maniacally* ....
...*more laughing*...

...*slightly hysterical*...

AHHHAHA ohh wheee grphonself, if I had a penny for every time I was frustrated by the lack of fabulous english words to indicate the act of rubbing genitals until one's entire body seizes up into an orgasmic state of bliss, well sirree I'd be rich I reckon!

Since my job revolves around describing that very act daily in a (hopefully) new and exciting and unique way, I am constantly coming up against the available vocabulary and finding it lacking.. seriously lacking. Things can be done, but I find myself feeling like an amnesiac Eskimo surrounded by 30 different kinds of snow.

In the end, I've only been able to firmly accept the word 'masturbate' and work it into my daily speech as if it were the nice sounding, correctly communicating word I wish it would be. Otherwise I'm saying wank, which evokes a bit of a smirk, or maz which is still flippant, or jerk off which makes me feel like I'm telling someone to suck my dick, or some other shitty euphemism that makes me feel like a child. "Alone time", "have a nap" BLAH.

Not that I announce to my friends when I'm going to my room to get off, but the topic does seem to come up fairly often around me - wonder why?

It's the same with my period. I hate the euphemisms! I hate the taboo which seems so absurd in my modern life. On the first couple days of my period, it is obvious. I am clearly not running at 100%. People ask me why, if I'm okay. I DONT WANT TO SAY MY STOMACH HURTS. It doesn't. My uterus hurts because it is shedding its crazy bloody lining. My hormones are doing crazy things in my brain. That's what's happening and it's no big deal - it's happening ALL THE TIME. All around us. I don't want to say Aunt Flo is in town, or I am surfing a red wave, or that it is shark week - UGH! So I say I have my period, and it often makes people uncomfortable

We need a grownup word for masturbation that means masturbation without sounding like I'm going to my room to put baby doll arms in a vat of rice pudding or disturb my dog's sleep by chewing too loudly.

In "Vox", one of my favorite sexy books, Baker refers to girl masturbation as strumming. Not so bad, but someone needs to do better.

Last edited by viva (12-12-12 02:59:52)

blissed · 12-12-12 19:33:15

Been looking in the thesaurus and Onanism sounds quite good, and who doesn't like to indulge in a little frottage now and then

Then there's google translate. Most languages use masturbation or a variation of it
except

Malay - Melancap
Finnish - itsetyydytys (and they have good reason to use euphemisms
Swahili - Punyeto
Danish, Indonesian, Norwegian and Swedish - onani

I like the idea of using onan or onani.

.

Last edited by blissed (12-12-12 21:44:07)

Orioneye · 13-12-12 22:38:59

Gryphonself, I see what you are getting at. With words like jacking off, I see it as a really mechanical, almost violent description.

I suppose this is why words are so wonderful and can be used in so many ways. Perhaps the act is so full of complexity it is not something so easily labelled. Science has its word, which seem too... scientific. Because I was raised religiously onanism seems very connected to the idea that an "unholy" act needs an "unholy" word to describe it.

Since being on here I have really come to like the word wank. Maybe that is the novelty of an outsiders view of Australian dialect. But it has a nicer sound than the words I am familiar with.

It seems like there is a lot of attempt to make a more socially gentle word, like many of you already mentioned, useful for everyday conversation. But like if I was going to talk about my shit with someone, I wouldn't say feces and would feel childlike saying poo. I would simply say shit, as harsh a word it is made out to be. Does it conjure a different image from a more "gentle" one?

Vivid:

viva wrote:

I'm going to my room to put baby doll arms in a vat of rice pudding or disturb my dog's sleep by chewing too loudly.

[Edited because I am a grammatical perfectionist, even if not perfect]

Last edited by Orioneye (13-12-12 22:41:49)

viva · 14-12-12 00:26:31

We say poo all the time round these parts, haha.

Poo sounds cute, and to me that's good because I feel that pooing is a pretty cute thing to do. Everyone does it, most folks feel embarrassed about it, and you make a funny face when you do it - adorbs. Shit is like, taking it to a more vulgar and aggressive place to me, so I choose my word depending on whether I'm in a place presenting myself as cute, or presenting myself as tough. I can go either way.

I have choices when it comes to shit, piss, vomit, laughter, etc, all these things I am satisfied with. But masturbation has ALWAYS been a problem. I don't need it to be a socially pleasant word to toss about. I want a word that's SEXY. That turns me on. A word that makes me want to go rub my clit furiously until I have an orgasm while I imagine something obscene and possibly absurd. "jerk off" or "stroke cock" are probably the closest for me and they are words for boys.

Gryphonself · 14-12-12 07:26:18

I like frottage better than the rest, thanks for reminding me of it. Interestingly it was also used to describe the technique of rubbing out relief patterns on a canvas or a piece of paper that many surrealist artists used.

"Relief", hmmm no pun intended there...
But, yes, that was another typical way that porn approached masturbation. An agonizing need to relieve oneself of an overflowing sexual pressure, so strong that it usually overcame the taboo of self-abusing (using this on purpose) oneself, sometimes indeed the scenario demanded that it take place in public. What was projected was the helplessness of the subject in face of her (I have yet to see this applied to the male) overwhelming sexuality. The orgasm was sometimes followed by the comment, "Feel better now".

On another tack, think of the onomatopoeic neologisms "fap" and "schlick". Simple descriptions of the movements and the sounds they produce, they signal a more everyday, accepting attitude IMHO.

your thoughts?

viva · 17-12-12 00:40:03

Gryphonself wrote:

But, yes, that was another typical way that porn approached masturbation. An agonizing need to relieve oneself of an overflowing sexual pressure, so strong that it usually overcame the taboo of self-abusing (using this on purpose) oneself, sometimes indeed the scenario demanded that it take place in public. What was projected was the helplessness of the subject in face of her (I have yet to see this applied to the male) overwhelming sexuality.

This is interesting. I think this is the typical porn approach to masturbation because it is a most typical heterosexual fantasy for both parties - man in control of his sex, able to maintain an erection forever while he skillfully pleasures a woman into a multiply orgasmic pile of quivering messy happy goo. This is generally the form my fantasies take as well, pretty typical het stuff.

The reality is that most women do not come at the drop of a hat and most men do not possess rock hard erections for hours on command. The whole fantasy is confused and mired in stodgy old gender roles, but nonetheless it DOES feel good (for either sex) to be overwhelmed with sexual feelings, such as just before orgasm - for the brain to take a little vacation, and everything to fade in comparison with one's desire. That feels damn good, and the power games involved in one person, in control, guiding another to that stage are irresistible to our psyches.

Most people are exponentially turned on by arousal itself - either their own or that of their partner.

Gryphonself wrote:

On another tack, think of the onomatopoeic neologisms "fap" and "schlick". Simple descriptions of the movements and the sounds they produce, they signal a more everyday, accepting attitude IMHO.

I wish I liked these because they are really common these days... but I don't
They sound too childish to me, I guess, because I always see them in web comics - but you're right, especially with chicks on the internet adding their own female onomatopoeic word instead of settling for using 'fap' - that's pretty bold. It definitely indicates an acceptance of masturbation and an acknowledgement that most people do it.

erolscom · 17-12-12 04:38:33

How about "pleasure" used as a transitive verb ?; can pleasure one's self or someone else.

viva · 17-12-12 04:59:36

Much like the words 'buttocks' and 'bosom', 'pleasuring' as a verb works in text, but not so much out loud.

artemesia · 17-12-12 07:43:33

*raises hand* i use sex.

ie he was sexing me, i was sexing him... are you about to have sex on him? did you have sex in her? she sexed me up before sexing me... we sexed around etc etc etc

you can also have sex with someone - this one is the rarest and the best

we also use 'maz' (for masturbation) because it is flippant in that it describes that which must be done in the interests of emotional health. why all the fuss around the word for it, when you live with too many people who are genuinely interested in your health, it's the best word because it is the least descriptive. though sometimes i will admit to sexing or simply fucking myself.

*smirks at the word 'buttocks'

viva · 18-12-12 00:11:08

I do like sex as a verb - I've started using it too. It's convenient, sweeter and a little more smirky than 'fuck'. It's transitive and intransitive, just specific enough without going into too much detail.

Maz I still haven't really warmed up to. Maybe for me a bit too 'scene'?

viva · 18-12-12 00:12:37

Woah.

I just found out that verbs which are both transitive and intransitive are referred to as ambitransitive. HOT.

artemesia · 18-12-12 00:15:24

now use it in a sentence
*hand slips underneath the desk in anticipation*

jane_e · 18-12-12 19:39:26

Orioneye wrote:

Since being on here I have really come to like the word wank. Maybe that is the novelty of an outsiders view of Australian dialect. But it has a nicer sound than the words I am familiar with.

I have to agree with Orioeye on this one. Only lost, bright eyed, foreign exchange students say wank around here, so it is...I don't know novel and funny and worldly sounding like a conversation about pants or lorries or rooting (which I think may just be something Canadians say Australians use as a euphemism for sexing). Wank would sound ridiculous if I said it out loud though. No one likes a Canadian posing as a cute foreign exchange student, no matter how lost they may be in the library.

artemesia wrote:

we also use 'maz' (for masturbation)

Wooh. I am so outside of the "scene" that I have never heard this before and didn't know that it was ruined by being an "in" thing until Viva rejected it three posts later. Bummer. I liked it.

Viva wrote:

A word that makes me want to go rub my clit furiously until I have an orgasm while I imagine something obscene and possibly absurd. "jerk off" or "stroke cock" are probably the closest for me and they are words for boys.

I didn't realized that I often high jack "jerk off" from the boys to describe things I may or may not be doing in the privacy of my own room, but I do, and I do it for all the reasons Viva described. There's gotta be a another combination of words that conveys all that for girl parts....somewhere.

Last edited by jane_e (18-12-12 19:40:17)

WLV612 · 18-12-12 20:11:57

I've been half following this thread and the more I read of the posts, the more frustrated I'm becoming that gals don't have a proper word that does it all. Wank to us here is not in common usage but I will call someone a wanker if they need to be called one and of course, they seldom have a clue. We use, "Jerk Wad" in lace of "Wanker'. Back to the matter at......hand. I know one gal who remarking on 'Black Swan', said it almost made her, "Slam Her Slit" which was pretty good, or so I thought. If I think of anything, I'll post it but gosh, I really like Viva's description as it kind is more fitting than a one word thingee.
I honestly didn't add anything to this thread, did I?

viva · 19-12-12 00:01:53

Yeah, I do say jerk off too Jane. JANE! You must not take me as authority for what is in. I am a nerd and I am nice and stuff but I am really not 'cool'. Artemesia is very cool and she likes 'maz' so please embrace 'maz' if it strikes your fancy. We learned about it from Anya K, during her Luc (at least I did, Artemesia is cool so she hangs out with cool people like Anya K outside of work )

on that note, do we like 'strike one's fancy'?

ps they totally say 'root' out here, its so sleazy!

jane_e · 19-12-12 15:49:10

viva wrote:

JANE!

Hahah. This made me laugh. It's no big deal I'm over maz anyway. No one would know what I'm talking about and really it's just me and the dog around the house. We are both really cool, but we don't talk that much about our goings on. Jane: [walks to room] Lilly: "Oh you're going to go to your room, oh OK, I'll be here just sleeping on my pillow" [sighs and curls into ball].

Root? Really? I've been hoping all along that that was made up. I'm not sure if anyone else remembers the Roots (famous Canadian clothing brand) fiasco in oh I dunno grade 7 when talking about other words for sex was a big deal and everyone owned a Roots hoodie (I believe some of you people call these jumpers). So many words for so many things...and still so few good ones for maz'ing.

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The word for the deed

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