Marriage of convenience....

Will · 16-10-06 13:58:37

Do any of the girls want to do a guy a favour?

For a long time my ambition has been to emigrate to Australia, and now more and more I see that ambition being taken away from me, and I'm worried that I have made a huge mistake that I can't recover from....

I'm due tostart with the police here in just a few weeks time, though I've been left under no illusions that it's not a career choice that will help me much (if at all) in looking to emigrate. States such as SA and WA infrequently recruit from the UK, but it's a big if, and I could be waiting and working for years before another oppertunity came around again. And working in SA or WA wouldn't be my dream destination as I have all my thoughts bent on Victoria, with Melbourne in particular.

I've just turned 27 years old, and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the thought that I'm stuck. I can't go anywhere from here. I'm worried that I've made a huge mistake, and that I should have spent the last couple of years becomming a qualified teacher perhaps. That would certainly have opened up a lot of doors for me. Now though I honestly feel like I'm f**ked. I don't know what to do. I can't now go and think about changing direction just weeks before starting with the police, and whilst I'm still young enough to pack up and take a two year working visa, I think my parents would disown me. Right now I can't help but feel despondent about the whole thing. It's literally having a specific dream taken away from me.....

It looks like a marriage of convenience might be the only oppertunity open to me now. What's the going rate for such a deal any way?

Edited to fix a spelling mistake.

Last edited by Will (16-10-06 14:23:08)

richard · 16-10-06 14:29:10

Excuse me for butting in, as I'm neither female nor available. But I can't help wonder why your parents would disown you for taking a 2 year working holiday but emigration would be ok? At 27 though, maybe it's time for a change of ownership?

I saw on TV the other night that there's a trade fair at Australia House in London where they're 'selling' immigration to fill our skills shortfall. Some of the skills we desperately lack, apparently, are plumbing and hairdressing.

If you come out on a working holiday visa and work in agriculture (pick fruit) for 3 months they'l extend your visa, possibly long enough to find a local who'll sponsor you by marriage. It's relatively straightforward when you're already here and have a history as a couple. Doing it by mail order would be very difficult as you need to produce evidence the relationship is genuine and ongoing.

Will · 16-10-06 16:40:39

Hey Richard, thank you for the reply. Firstly though I'd like to point out that I'm not serious in looking for a marriage of convenience. It's not something I would ever actually persue and it's just me making a bad joke out of a shi**y situation.
Secondly, I apologise. This isn't really the place to have a moan about personal situations, and this one is bigger than just emigration (or not) to Australia. It is a dream of mine though. I just hope I might be able to figure a way around it.

gala · 16-10-06 20:44:00

i actually want to pick fruit. lucky!

blissed · 16-10-06 22:22:28

Will, please don't join the police. You have to be well committed. if your hearts not in it for any reason it's gonna be really difficult to do your training and if you get through that your going to be unhappy and discontented doing the job. Please take some time out to think about what you want to do, so that your plans fit with your desires and dreams. I know parental disapproval can feel really bad but if you need to face your parents down over this and live your own life, I think you should. One day they'll be gone and you don't want to look back thinking about what you should have done. Just my bit of advice, I hope you don't mind.

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aven frey · 17-10-06 01:16:08

blissed wrote:

Will, please don't join the police. You have to be well committed. if your hearts not in it for any reason it's gonna be really difficult to do your training and if you get through that your going to be unhappy and discontented doing the job.

Yes remember Amber from 'The Bill'!
We are lacking hairdressers!! I find that hard to believe considering most of the 'in' girls at my school dropped out to become hairdressers!

Burlesque · 17-10-06 12:35:44

Will wrote:

Hey Richard, thank you for the reply. Firstly though I'd like to point out that I'm not serious in looking for a marriage of convenience. It's not something I would ever actually persue and it's just me making a bad joke out of a shi**y situation.
Secondly, I apologise. This isn't really the place to have a moan about personal situations, and this one is bigger than just emigration (or not) to Australia. It is a dream of mine though. I just hope I might be able to figure a way around it.

Hey, Will! Do anything you can to break out of this situation, even if it means your parents disowning you. Sorry to be so blunt, but if they don't want what's best for you, maybe this disowning business isn't such a bad thing. I can only agree with what Blissed said (:O). Don't do this! Don't commit to something that your heart is not in. You're lucky enough to know something of what you want to do - not all people have that advantage. Take Richard's advice. Go to Australia and pick some fruit, and you never know what will turn up (not necessarily a marriage of conveniance ... ) and then take it from there. Then you will at least know that you have tried. Best of luck, Will.

Burlesque.

Will · 17-10-06 19:36:20

Hey guys. I want to thank you for replying. I feel a bit embarrassed to be honest as this isn't the place where I should be having a vent about personal problems. Things just came to a bit of a head yesterday, and I was looking for a bit of a release. I appreciate though that whilst it's not the place to do so, people have been good enough to reply and share their thoughts.

As for the situation, well I've been thinking about that today. Firstly I can't now go and give up on the police. No, I admit that my head isn't in the perfect place for it at the moment, but that's for a lot of reasons. However, this is a huge chance for me to move on with my life, which I really need to grasp now with both hands. If I were to turn around now and tell them thanks but no thanks it would be akin to career suicide for me.

I have looked into the situation with regards possibly getting a working holiday visa to Australia, and I can do so for 12 months (with a further possible 12 months) at any time before the age of 31. So if in a couple of years time, when I'm 29 and I've done my two years probation period with the police, if I still feel the same then I can leave the police and make the move to travel for a long period. It would leave me in a stronger position than right now as I would have the probation period behind me, and there would be no reason that I shouldn't be able to return to the police (provided I do well) should I choose to. Whilst I am in the police it would also give me the oppertunity to find out more about the possible emigration prospects through the job.

The position with taking control of my own life.... Yes, that is something that has to change. Again though I have to look at the police as my oppertunity to do so. I will be able to be independant, to make some good money, get my own place..... I'll be able to once and for all be my own man (sounds a bit silly I know) and move in my own direction.

Thank you again though for allowing me my little rant.

Burlesque · 17-10-06 19:44:42

It doesn't sound silly, Will. The way you put it now, it sounds a whole lot better than it did initially. The Man with the Plan! I hope everything works out the way you would like it to.

Burlesque.

Last edited by Burlesque (17-10-06 19:44:58)

blissed · 17-10-06 21:12:47

Yeah that sounds pretty good!! I say go for it then my new advice to you now is to join the police!! this could give you a stronger CV and perhaps you could be sponsored to work in Oz, Oh I know nothing about what I'm talking about here but the way I've written it, it does all sound quite believable I think and thats what matters

Good luck with it will and if you are ever in the process of knicking me because my bicycle has inadvertantly occupied the pavement without me noticing, the codeword is "blissed" and then you can let me off. Thanks for that in advance

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aven frey · 18-10-06 05:06:02

Blissed you have a - smiley face emoticon - disease.
And Will don't be embarrassed you can come rant here anytime you please. I actually think that the likes of this forum enjoy giving advise on the odd occasion!

blissed · 18-10-06 07:18:37

Yeah smilies have broken out all over that post, but I like them, their free!!

Yeah, I enjoy giving people advise too, I think Wills been very candid which is great

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Last edited by blissed (18-10-06 07:33:06)

aven frey · 18-10-06 08:35:39

someone should tax them, they'd make a fortune because I don't believe you could give them up even if they cost money!

richard · 18-10-06 14:21:14

I swear, I'm this >< close to turning off that damn smiley machine.

Burlesque · 18-10-06 15:35:47

richard wrote:

I swear, I'm this >< close to turning off that damn smiley machine.

Blissed is a sick, sad ruin of a man. Please allow him one of the few joys he has left in life! To balance things out, I promise to never use another smiley on this forum. (It's much more fun to see people go apeshit over misunderstandings anyway.)

Burlesque.

P.S. I've got one that smirks. May I use that one, if I do so very selectively? D.S.

blissed · 18-10-06 20:05:40

I don't want to give them up because their needed. When I first started posting on ISM I never used emoticons and people not only misunderstood my intensions but completely misjudged me as a person as well you could just ask Li or catt if she was still here. One smiley made a huge difference to my reaction in the gender thread and then read polarchill's reaction in the next post. There were no smilies in the post I started the thread with http://www.ifeelmyself.com/forum/viewto … 576#p11576

Emoticons are vital, without them you have no clue as to the persons intent, whether their serious or flippant. they take the place of your face and you use them to show the intent of each comment. I like the graphic smilies, their cute and more effective at conveying the emotion and in the long term improve the atmosphere of a forum and make it happier and more positive. and forums are about the relationships between people especially this one.
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Last edited by blissed (18-10-06 20:14:32)

Burlesque · 18-10-06 20:20:28

When I was an IFM newb I agreed wholeheartedly with Blissed about the use of smileys (I even posted on the subject as I recall), but as time has gone on I have come to think that emoticons only stand in the way of fun. Keep 'em guessing, that's my motto. A smile is the coward's way out.

Burlesque.

#1 16-10-06 13:58:37

Marriage of convenience....

#2 16-10-06 14:29:10

Re: Marriage of convenience....

#3 16-10-06 16:40:39

Re: Marriage of convenience....

#4 16-10-06 20:44:00

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#5 16-10-06 22:22:28

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#6 17-10-06 01:16:08

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#7 17-10-06 12:35:44

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#8 17-10-06 19:36:20

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#9 17-10-06 19:44:42

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#10 17-10-06 21:12:47

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#11 18-10-06 05:06:02

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#12 18-10-06 07:18:37

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#13 18-10-06 08:35:39

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#14 18-10-06 14:21:14

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#15 18-10-06 15:35:47

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#16 18-10-06 20:05:40

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#17 18-10-06 20:20:28

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