sex and spirituality

viva · 02-05-12 01:59:31

oof. big topic and I don't agree wholeheartedly with this article, but I think this guy makes some really interesting points.

Read here - Why Sex is Not Spiritual, and then come back.

Personally I've nurtured a certain cynicism and a sense of distrust when it comes to the majority of the representatives of the world of "paganism, Tantra, meditation, sacred sex, and BDSM sex magic(k)", as the author refers to it, whom I have been exposed to in my life as a person deeply interested in human sexuality.

Here's why I've developed a sense of intellectual aversion to these words.

1. folks who care about how I spell things and what to call my vagina

2. people who tell me that I just have to drink my own period blood under the full moon in order to harness my true female potential

3. predatory men who make me feel as if letting them rub my chest in circular patterns to release the blocked sex energy is something I'd only reject if I was uptight, insecure, and closed to pleasure.

4. folks who won't let me cum until I breathe correctly into my sacred heart space

5. women who speak to me as if I'm a fragile delicate sister flower burning with uncontrolled yoni desire

6. in my own relationship we have run afoul of the potential for harm - physical and emotional - with certain ejaculation control techniques.

7. people who say that my tawdry orgasmic sex is akin to a child sneezing.

I consider myself a privately spiritual person who finds so much joy in the mystery and the wonder in the universe. I believe that there are many paths to connect with that mystery in a way that fills a human being with awe and infinite, unbearable sweetness and sex is an excellent one.

So I do not discredit these exploratory concepts - it's clear as day to me that sex can be an esoteric experience, rife with galactic importance and deep, solemn, and yes, sacred intensity. But in the words of the Divine Gala, "Sometimes a root is just a root. And that's totally okay."

Which is where we come back to this article, which discusses this sensitive topic with a bluntness and clarity that I am seemingly unable to harness. Like I said I don't agree completely - I think that we can have a fully integrated experience without denigrating our bodies. I think our bodies ARE holy - in all their pissing, shitting, coming sneezing crying glory. But I do like the fact that someone said what I was thinking.

woo.

blissed · 02-05-12 03:45:48

I think spiritualism is where philosophy meets emotion. religions haven't got a monopoly on it by any means. Our very existence is spiritual, The spirit and soul inside us is the sum of our subconscious and conscious. Punk rock is spiritual so is poetry. Under my definition Chris's sex is spiritual, he's been moved to write about how it effects him in the same way art or any pleasure effects us emotionally.

Sex is like money, if we're rich/hot there'll be selfish people who want our money/sex and can make us cynical. It's the people who respect sexuality and have time for us when we're poor or not sexy that are genuine and usually the most considerate in how they express their desire for us when we are sexy. And sex isn't evil and money's not the root of all evil either it just brings out the truth and quantifies it exactly

So I'm back with the sex is like music thing too because it is. I think if we can accept people are asexual wether through having a systemic low or non existent libido as we accept some people are tone deaf and that some are sexually repressed and it's up to them to expand their sexuality if they want too, just like some people aren't that into music, and some people are into a huge diversity of music and as some are into a huge diversity of sex or into creative sex play. And If people wanna get into tantra and religious type sex with goddesses let them. It's part of the diversity and creativity. I think sex is an art like music or creative writing, I know what I like and like discovering new things and I'm very far from upset or bothered if people have a sex positive experience of sex that's very different from mine.

.

Last edited by blissed (02-05-12 03:59:18)

artemesia · 02-05-12 11:50:17

i think sex is power. orgasm is can be a release or development of that, but i agree wholeheartedly with you viva, lots of folk out there in the 'spiritual sex' lands use it to assert power over someone, not share it. and that's a fucking shame

artist_kitkat · 08-05-12 10:17:08

Personally, from my own definition and experience of sex, just rooting (love it Gala) and the odd dabble in tantra - it's all about getting as intimate as you can with yourself and somebody you dig immensely (whether that's only for 10 minutes, 3 years or the rest of your life), with the energy and head space that you have in that particular moment. And each serves a different energy and a different moment. Sometimes my husband and I just have sex, or masturbate together, or one of us needs an orgasm, and it's just that, and we joke about that or give each other a high five or just say "thanks" with a bit of a laugh and go back to doing whatever we were doing, and it's a bit clinical even but it is what it is and fun for it's own sake. Other times it's completely about sharing our hearts or needing to be close or just getting to know each other better in some way, and sometimes it's completely intentional and directed. And it's not that cut and dried either - sometimes they blend or mash together too. There's no rating system though - it's our sex life and we give it a nine out of ten overall (always room for it to get sensationally better) and don't really worry about it at all. I get tired of preachiness (the 'you gotta do it this way or you ain't doing it' mentality), or of the idea of 'woundedness' or remaining in 'woundedness' or a victim state - which I think a lot of tantra people unwittingly wallow in. This idea that you gotta be healed. Sure, some people genuinely do - like rape or molestation victims, but there's an end even to that, and most people need, more than healing, just to bloody enjoy themselves, and that's the healing in itself. I think Annie Sprinkle has the right idea. Sex is great, whatever it is, it's the expression of all that's great about life, and deserves to be celebrated. I'm personally not into fisting, for example, and I had always thought it was a bit gross, but her attitude towards it made me realise, while it wasn't my thing, it certainly was a very good thing for others. So let's all just enjoy our very own, individual, very good thing. That's my personal philosophy on sex, anyway. I guess some people enjoy being preachy or bossy or miserable too though.

viva · 09-05-12 01:54:28

DUDE kitkat I love everything you just said so much! I had to learn in my own relationship that sex doesn't always look like porn, you don't always kneel facing each other in true romance pretzels every night, or change positions a million times, sometimes you just make out, sometimes you're sick and you just have slack bodied sex where no one comes, sometimes you can go a few months without anyone getting head - and surprise! the sex doesn't explode and die! No one told me any of this. I was so insecure in the first years of my relationship that I did kill the sex for myself, in a way - other factors contributed - but my insecurity was based on imaginary couples and what they do in bed and how I didn't measure up - who wants to get on their knees and smear come in their eyelashes when they feel like they have to!? It didn't allot for the many nights of lazy lazy sex or masturbating next to my sleeping partner or the animalistic, broken down, restructuring orgasms we can experience together when we've had a fight and now it's over. Oh my god so much different sex, and so much more than our bodies involved.

I also like what you said about tantra - I don't know much about it so I don't know if that's the word (victim) I would use to describe that idea, but there is a sense in certain tantra communities/individuals who practice that you've never gone deep enough. No matter what you feel, you can always do better, go deeper, breathe deeper, be more light, be more healed, be more deeply touched, connect harder. That may be true but sometimes I just want to jerk my boyfriend off while we watch porn projected on the wall.

#1 02-05-12 01:59:31

sex and spirituality

#2 02-05-12 03:45:48

Re: sex and spirituality

#3 02-05-12 11:50:17

Re: sex and spirituality

#4 08-05-12 10:17:08

Re: sex and spirituality

#5 09-05-12 01:54:28

Re: sex and spirituality

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