controlling oneself during SEX!!!

yusuf987 · 11-09-06 18:27:56

hi everyone,

can anyone give some tips in controlling oneself from cumming too quickly during sex. it will be intresting to see what the response is? what works best for you guys? as for the women do you do anything to help out your partner if thay are tooooo close to the brink - lol. please post all ideas and discussions. thanks

Will · 11-09-06 20:33:17

Don't know, I've never had the problem. Mine is in fact the opposite. Apparently I'm one of the 2% of men who have some weird thing where they can't come through intercourse. I can go for hours and hours and eventually have to give up through sheer dehydration. The only person who have ever been able to make me cum, is me.*

What I wouldn't give for a shot at premature ejaculation!

*It's just as well I've managed to get my libido back then eh?

**Nope, it's gone again.

Last edited by Will (17-09-06 12:48:44)

The_Elfman · 12-09-06 12:23:24

Premature ejaculation. I was wondering when we were going to get around to this one. Strange that it has taken us six months on a site that is predominantly male. Even for a community which is as open and honest as ours this is obviously a very touchy one. This has regularly been a problem for me as well. Especially when I’m really “in to” someone. When they really turn me on. The problem is that I don’t really think it is (at least for me) a physical thing. It’s an intellectual one. As has been said before so many times on this forum the brain is the most sensitive sex organ in the body. There have been times when I was so excited by the mere anticipation of being with someone that I have been close to orgasm by merely touching or kissing them. Sometimes just being in the same room as someone has got me most of the way there. I don’t think that there is an answer. At least not for me. Best to just get it over with once then you can concentrate on making love. Women do understand these things and in my experience are usually very sensitive about it. Saying to your lover ”I’m so crazy about you that just being in the same room as you makes me hot” has never harmed a relationship in my experience.

Last edited by The_Elfman (12-09-06 13:18:56)

yusuf987 · 16-09-06 23:02:52

hello everyone. so many members yet so few answers. c'mon get posting some more individual advice guys and girls

thevoice · 17-09-06 02:35:39

I assume you're talking about occasionally cumming when you'd rather not, and not the medical condition version of the problem.

If so, what you're asking about is how to deal with the symptom, not solve the problem. Sex, by and large, happens in your brain. If it were possible to guarantee an orgasm without engaging the brain, trust me, mankind would have already figured it out by now and we'd all be able to buy "it" at the grocery store for not much more than we pay for a loaf of bread.

Instead, what we get for the price of a loaf of bread is a loaf of bread. On the other hand, sex -- great sex -- takes more of an investment.

Do you know what I've found to be one of the surest ways drive a woman crazy (in a good way, I mean)? Build anticipation. The longer and more carefully you build it, the better. Whispers in the ear starting early in the morning, handwritten notes, voicemails, emails (if you're brave), flowers...all over the course of a day or two.

The human mind is a wonderful thing -- it needs stuff to do, stuff to think about. So feed it well. "Let's fuck" may work on some women, but my experience tells me the other way is more rewarding in the long run.

Men, on the other hand, generally just need the wind to blow a little in our direction and we get a boner. This, then, is yet another example of how (generally) men and women are different.

That said, though, the longer our own "build up," the more likely we are to put a hole in the ceiling when we finally get to the end of the thing. There gets to be a point when -- like it or not -- we're like a loaded gun waiting for someone to touch our hair-trigger, then it's all over but the catching your breath part. That's just physiology we can't change once our brain gets us there. That's just the way it is. (And I thank our good Lord in heaven for it, too.)

Once you get to that physical point, the only thing that's going to stop the inevitable is to either avoid friction or lessen the friction. Avoiding takes discipline. Lessening takes a condom (or two condoms), or one of the topical creams that has benzocaine. Maybe it's just me, but if my cock gets numb, I'd rather it get numb the old fashioned way.

I don't know about any of the other guys around here, but I get a whole lot more pleasure driving a woman up one wall and down the other. I am perfectly happy getting her right to the edge as many times as I can, then getting her off as many times as I can, and then, finally, getting off myself. Frankly speaking, that last part can take ten seconds for all I care -- by that point I've had my fun getting her off and, presumably, so has she. Maybe I'm just weird that way.

Jonathan

Last edited by thevoice (17-09-06 02:37:15)

The_Elfman · 17-09-06 12:22:28

I'm really getting to like this man. Well put sir. I agree with every word of it. Especialy this bit:

Build anticipation. The longer and more carefully you build it, the better. Whispers in the ear starting early in the morning, handwritten notes, voicemails, emails (if you're brave), flowers...all over the course of a day or two.

This is often more fun than the acual sex in my opinion.

Elfman

yusuf987 · 17-09-06 22:11:51

thx for the answers man. great advice!!!

#1 11-09-06 18:27:56

controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#2 11-09-06 20:33:17

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#3 12-09-06 12:23:24

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#4 16-09-06 23:02:52

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#5 17-09-06 02:35:39

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#6 17-09-06 12:22:28

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

#7 17-09-06 22:11:51

Re: controlling oneself during SEX!!!

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