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Several years back I met a woman when our travels crossed briefly. We went back to our respective parts of the world, and maintained what became an erotically charged relationship from a distance. We eventually ended up writing an erotic story together over a period of a month or so, she would take one paragraph, then I the other, and back, until the story finished, which we "published" in an obscure website. By the end of the process we realized it had been a) a very erotic process, and b) had described in intimate detail what it might be like together, the process of writing it back and forth mimicking the process of discovery and risk and transparency that can make the first time so exciting. Has anyone else had a similar experience? What other creative ways have lovers had distance-sex?
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I don't have much to say about online, long distance and literary sex with lovers at the moment but I think it's really hot.
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I haven't but that's an awesome idea scottblueeyes! Sexy and quite romantic.
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Inteeeresting.
I just assumed everyone did this. But so far no's are up two to three. I have reams of emails back and forth (most of which have been lost into the pre-gmail abyss) with boys. I am absolutely hopeless at talking dirty, but as I discovered very early on in my sexual explorations I love to write dirty. I love the flow of blood and words that happens as you find the right combination of letters to describe the touch, the smell, the taste you are longing for. I can spend a lot of time writing and re-reading this sort of correspondence.
Come to think of it probably 50% of my intimate relationship type life has involved some sort of cyder component. In most (all? I think?) cases there was real life intimacy first but often more of the "sex" happened when we were 6342 km apart. There is something about wanting something you can't have and describing it, or enacting it solo, that makes cyber sex so powerful for me. I like doing this in real time but I also love the muted euphoria that lingers after you hit send, not knowing when or where your email recipient will read you email and reply.
Curious now. How common is this sort of thing? I'm doing the math in my head and I have had distance sex with 41% of the people I have ever been even slightly romantically/intimately involved with. Of that 41% I'd say over half involved more cyber then real life encounters.
Oh no. Maybe I am really a robot. Does anyone know a good way to check?
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I'm a bit of an outlier statistically, since I've only had one sex partner in my life, but we certainly had some form of cyber sex. Though it mostly amounted to her teasing me relentlessly over MSN and text messaging during the months leading up to us actually getting it on (do people still use that expression?).
I'm not very good at doing it in real time though. All jokes about blood going other places aside, I simply clam up and can't think of anything witty or titillating to say that isn't completely banal and off putting simply because it's so daft. But I think that's more to do with pressure to perform than anything else, just like chatting someone up. As long as I'm just having a conversation, I can talk to anyone, regardless of how desirable they are, but the instant I realise I want to impress and flirt with them, my brain decides to take an early vacation.
I did however just last night experience something interesting. I have a tumblr blog that I use mostly to post the smut I like and follow others who post stuff I like. And through tumblr I had a short message exchange with a female blogger as we both masturbated (and by short I mean like two or three messages, tops, but still). The feeling when she first initiated it, asking me to make her hornier as she was masturbating was mind blowing.
This was something completely new to me, and left me both satisfied (very) and kind of confused. Sort of like when you don't know how to act around someone you fooled around with last night when you see them again in the light of day around other people.
I'd certainly do it again give half the chance though.
Let us scatter our clothes to the wind
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Jane your not a robot until you've had the 1st temple brain implant with the USB 3 socket. Then you can upload the estimated 36% that is your cyber encounters and the process of assimilation can begin until you are whole again.
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(Self made tycoon and independant financial advisor to the stars)
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As I've mentioned elsewhere I almost always like to have the feeling of someone "present" when I masturbate so I do the cyber thing a lot. But the internet is full of assholes and idiots and I almost always end up alone in the end, eyes squeezed shut against the barrage of text messages I've encouraged as I got excited. I used to do more drawn out letter-exchanges but as I've gotten older real life is full of stuff and my man takes the place of those tentative and creepy romances with older anonymous folks. Still, when he's not around and once in awhile I hit the jackpot, talking to someone intelligent who really knows how to use their words and play games with me while I do the same - these are really valuable and awesome experiences.
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maybe there is this continuum of distance sex experiences;
at one end is phone sex, no video just your voice, real time, no getting it just right, all improvised and spontaneous, has to be transparent and honest and vulnerable (and yes, there is "just tell me what you are doing to yourself right now", but somehow that seems like taking a shortcut). This gets so hot when it becomes storytelling back and forth, to the point that you are ready to climb through the phone, hop on a plane, do anything to make it real, don't want to cum yet want it to go on and on. And that tension becomes part of the hotness of it. Both wanting it so much, but not having it.
in the middle there is sex IM'ing. A little more thought, a chance to craft the words just right, but still in the moment, and knowing that when you do, just the right combination of typing scent, body, curve, thigh, wet, hard, will make your partner wild. I've always loved the tension of this until the climax,where it has always fallen a bit short either ending in a random series of spastic alphanumeric characters or a "ohmygoodi'mcummingrightnow" message that doesn't quite works as well as it does in person.
At the other end is maybe fantasies or letters built by email back and forth. What is lacking in spontaneity is made up for in crafting an erotic story jointly between you and your lover. The sexual tension is spread over days , waiting to hear the response; "I just wrote that my tongue was tracing a path to her ass and gently touching and circling her....is that going to excite her or not?, how will she describe her body responding to that?"
Seems like very different experiences, but all good in their own way when you can't be there.
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I enjoy all sorts of verbal sex play, including cyber, because words are a big part of my life. Basic part.
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