Lunch or dinner

carstuff1000 · 21-06-11 22:17:49

3 IFM contributers / ladies I would like to have lunch or dinner with.

Gala for starters
Robyn for main course
Charlotte_v for sweet course

Obviously I would pay :-)

Krug Clos d'Ambonnay 1995 champagne included.

Anyone know any nice and exclusive restaurants in Melbourne ?

blissed · 21-06-11 22:44:03

Yeah but what if Gala wants some main coarse, what if Robyn wants some pudding. These are serious questions you have to answer here.

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xxEPxx · 21-06-11 23:17:44

Hmm. The idea of an informal get-together with the IFM staff and regular posters, in some random cafe or restaurant, does have an appeal though! I'd love to just have a realtime version of the online interaction we have here

xxEPxx

hyperballad · 23-06-11 03:25:42

This thread makes me feel really uncomfortable and I'm not even involved.

I don't care how exclusive your suggested restaurant or how expensive your champagne, your fantasies about me are yours alone and have no bearing on who I am as a person and I can tell you right now if you had of mentioned me in this context my response would have been far, far less polite.

In short: don't be gross, please.

I don't contribute to IFM and the forums to be made to feel like some object to be aquired or wined or dined or whatever else it is you fantasise about.

Thanks.

viva · 23-06-11 04:07:06

Thanks Hyperballad, for expressing what I could not. It seems like you guys feel that this kind of objectification is harmless - it's not. You may feel that you have a right to express how you'd seduce one of these ladies because they've made intimate videos for a website you're subscribed to - you don't.

Keep your compliments in the appreciation threads and your fantasies about how you can be part of the personal lives of contributors to yourself. We are not fictional characters or toys to be played with. Stop it.

carstuff1000 · 23-06-11 07:58:07

Apologies ladies :-(( For me this forum is a learning curve on what can be said and what can't be said. I try to be gentle and light hearted but it does not always work. I do not try to objectify. I was really just trying to comment on 3 ladies that I really like. Nowadays there are top tens of everything, I was just adding my top 10 minus 7. I also feel that if we members are censored too much the forum may become a little boring and sterile. I also try to inject a little humour in my postings but this may go un-noticed and appear as gross, apologies for this. Keep up your lovely work, carstuff 1000 :-)

hyperballad · 23-06-11 09:01:00

This thread is not 'humourous' and the reasons for which have been politely explained to you.

You aren't being censored, you are being asked to not behave in a certain manner that makes contributors feel uncomfortable. Myself included.

xxEPxx · 23-06-11 11:35:51

Yeah, I should have said something more than a feeble "hmm" to express my uncertainty over the original idea!

xxEPxx

blissed · 23-06-11 14:25:40

I think the problem here is that everything offensive that carstuff has said has been deleted, so to me he just appears quite a nice guy who apologises when he's done something wrong and those deleted comments aren't there to colour his later comments. So from that perspective to me the thread starter just seems fun and flippant.

I don't think carstuff should have dinner with Gala, Robyn or Charlotte but me and Dandy, if it went well it would be hilarious and if it went badly he would end up covered in food

People who contribute to Feck sites have dinner with people all the time, some know about their contributions, some don't. Contributing to Feck sites isn't all there is to someone, but it is something to be proud of and it is nice if the people who do know and especially if they enjoyed the contribution show their appreciation in a way your comfortable with and enjoy.

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richard · 23-06-11 15:03:25

I can't see where anything has been deleted in this thread.

blissed · 23-06-11 16:59:10

I'm not talking about deletions in this thread but all his deleted comments. 1st impressions make a big difference to how you perceive someone, especially if all you have is their text. I'm not saying you shouldn't have deleted offensive comments, just observing how their deletion affects how the author of them is seen, and what light any of their comments that aren't deleted are seen in.

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carstuff1000 · 23-06-11 18:14:20

Thank you for all support, and feedback whether negative or positive. I can confirm that nothing has been deleted in this thread (I must be getting better at posting). I do not mind being corrected when I sin. I realise that this is not a humourous site but sometimes there can be humour in a serious situation (e.g. falling out of bed when love making) [providing no on is injured] I realise I can sometimes be controversial, but this is just to get the traffic flowing. I do enjoy the forum, and I know that I may be guilty of over posting. This is because I like reading just as much as viewing your gorgeous senoritas. I will watch my language in future. Thank you.

blissed · 23-06-11 19:51:23

That you might have said something truely creepy when you 1st started posting is the only reason I can think someone would react so negatively to your thread starter, where it's obvious your just kidding. If your wondering through all this if there are any nice people at Feck, I'd say yes there definitely are, and if your ever in Melbourne at the same time as me, I know a nice vegitarian restuarant we can go to (obviously your paying ha ha Then you can take me to see chunky move. Didn't know about them when I was there but would definitly want to see them if I was there again so thanks in advance for taking me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVW92VR8n9M

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carstuff1000 · 23-06-11 20:39:50

Cheers. "Chunky Move" looks good to me. The only thing creepy about me is the clematis (climbing plant) that grows at the front of my house :-)) Realistically The only way I could travel abroad is if I won the National Lottery. I don't even hold a passport. Sometimes people unknowingly or innocently offend folks without realising it. Cultures are so diverse and different and with the internet were communicating with the whole planet. P.S. love your sense of humour.

blissed · 23-06-11 21:56:44

If you put an email address in your profile I can email you if you need any advice. I love climbing plants I've got one that was planted next door and climbed all over my ugly bathroom extention. I don't know what it is but it looks great. It's covered the whole thing, flat roof and all, and in the autumn the leaves go a rich red, it looks gorgeous. I love living walls. Theres an architect called Ken Yeang who specialises in them but it'll be another 8 years or so before their maintinance is cheap, because you need the next generation of small autonimous robots that do more than hoover the floor. Anyway when those devices come out I'm hoping we see fair amount of this.

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xxEPxx · 23-06-11 23:38:28

carstuff1000 wrote:

Sometimes people unknowingly or innocently offend folks without realising it. Cultures are so diverse and different and with the internet were communicating with the whole planet.

That's a significant part of it, I think. Not only a cultural thing, but maybe a generational thing too - we Brits have a recent history of being not-totally-serious about sex stuff, and indulging in a smutty, innuendo-laden way of communicating it. More so the generation before mine, which I think is also carstuff's generation (if my maths are anywhere near right haha).

I got the humour of the original post, but immediately recognised the potential for offence, especially given the critical difference of IFM contributors to the "babes" seen on latenight freeview satellite TV over here. Those girls encourage, whether willingly or purely because they are told to (probably a bit pf both depending on the girls), that kind of naughty, smutty chat and fantasy role-playing. Obviously, that is not the world of IFM and so the offence taken at a misplaced line of humourous flattery is absolutely understandable.

Carstuff actually reminds me in many ways of mates I've known myself; maybe as I said it's an especially British thing and perhaps more natural to those over 40, but misplaced as the comments were, I didn't read anything too creepy or malicious in them. Just the wrong time and wrong place!

xxEPxx

blissed · 24-06-11 00:21:34

He was just gonna end up covered in food like he ended up with a dildo up his ass in the royal wedding thread I realised from my attempts to coach him, we're taking things a bit too seriously. I need to talk to him on email, and find out what medication he's on

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xxEPxx · 24-06-11 00:30:18

blissed wrote:

He was just gonna end up covered in food like he ended up with a dildo up his ass in the royal wedding thread .

Haha, dare I ask where the phone (from the skype thread) might end up?

xxEPxx

richard · 24-06-11 00:41:12

It's not a matter of checking what you write Carstuff, you really need to think about some of the outdated chauvinistic attitudes you hold and work on those. The rest follows.

theant · 24-06-11 01:04:35

I'm a little puzzled here as to why Carstuff has been told off. He only ever said who he'd like to have dinner with, not have for dinner. Is that so offensive?

viva · 24-06-11 01:19:07

I think it's clear that Carstuff takes criticism on board and that he is trying to be respectful on these forums.

However, these threads keep popping up which cater to and encourage that antiquated chauvinist attitude Richard just mentioned.

If we do not nip innocent-seeming behavior like this in the bud, it will become a precedent for our contributors being referred to in ways that make them uncomfortable, and for our forums becoming an oldschool boys-club where women feel silenced.

I am much more concerned about the comfort of these women, considering the intimacy of the work they are sharing with you, than I am about this forum being a fun ho-down for members. We are perfectly capable of having fantastic discussions about sexuality and robots and current events and porn and masturbation and all that good stuff without overstepping boundaries or discussing contributors as if they were fictional characters to be arranged and rated as you choose on a personal top 10 list.

Being old-fashioned in one's approach to women and sexuality is not a crime, but it can hurt people, and this is an excellent opportunity to get with the times. Here are some resources for anyone who's interested to educate yourself a little bit further about sex-positivism, porn, unapologetically sexual women, and how to interact with them.

Violet Blue

Our Porn Ourselves

Dodson and Ross

That should get you started. Anyone else who has resources please feel free to add to this list.

hyperballad · 24-06-11 01:43:00

The letters projects are a good place to gain insight:

Letters from Johns

Letters from Watchers

Letters from working girls

This is a goldmine of anecdotal human sexual experience and perceptions:

25 things

And these are just really great sex positive and informative spaces:

blissed · 24-06-11 03:54:02

theant wrote:

I'm a little puzzled here as to why Carstuff has been told off. He only ever said who he'd like to have dinner with, not have for dinner. Is that so offensive?

I think this alludes to who he'd like to have for dinner.

carstuff1000 wrote:

Gala for starters
Robyn for main course
Charlotte_v for sweet course

Unless a person would only want to eat one part of a meal. Some nice links there, Cuntlove is on my list of favourites. Carstuff I know you'll appreciate the effort in getting that lot together and do email me from the link on the left.

xxEPxx wrote:

blissed wrote:
He was just gonna end up covered in food like he ended up with a dildo up his ass in the royal wedding thread .
Haha, dare I ask where the phone (from the skype thread) might end up?
xxEPxx

Well as the phone for Skype is the whole computer…………

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gala · 26-06-11 02:24:24

I'd have a meal with you. You'd just have to pay me. My rates for dinner are higher than they are for lunch. You get what you pay for, yanno?

carstuff1000 · 26-06-11 08:11:16

Thank you Gala your most kind, gorgeous to look at and highly intelligent. Gala for president :-)
Thank you Hyperballad, great links, enjoyed perusing, very educational.
Thank you Richard for running a tight ship, you sound like a great boss.

#1 21-06-11 22:17:49

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