#1 30-08-06 11:17:19

stammering

Member

Registered: 27-08-06

Posts: 72

Foregiveness

I joined this site because it came highly recommended from a source very close to me and I will stay a member until my credit card gets too big a dent in it.  But there seem to be some unwritten rules in the forums which I haven't quite got the hang of.  Like it's okay to attack new members, but those new members must not attack back.  And when the ferocity of it all becomes too intense just isolate them and they will eventually go away.  The English call it being sent to Coventry.  I do get the drift.  With the greatest respect to all, when there is no forgiveness or acknowledgment that EVERYONE could have played the game in a better spirit right from the opening whistle then there are going to be no winners.  In the "Dildos" thread I didn't set out to be controversial or antagonistic, but I was staggered by the velocity of the responses.  I was unable to step back from that and dug my heels in and got very aggressive in the process.  Once again I apologise sincerely for allowing that to happen.  I am responsible for my own actions and reactions and I take absolute responsibility for them.  Siobahn has said, if I didn't post again nobody would give a shit (although she didn't say it quite like that). The reality is that I do want to post again but I can't promise that I will behave exactly according to your unwritten code.  So can I please stay?

Siobhan

Member

Registered: 15-06-06

Posts: 823

Re: Foregiveness

Stammering -- I am rushing to work and spent far too uch time on the forum yesterday and have to take myself in hand and be here quite briefly today --
but i DO want/need to say if i say nothign else on the forum that the ONE sentence that you quoted from me above was one of MANY others that i wrote you, both on the forum and in email, and all of the others pointed to the sentence that I wrote you BEFORE the one you quote, which was "I hope you'll stay" !!!

So be careful about selective reading!!! (and everyone does it when we're feeling stressed and reactive, i know; it happens here, selective reading).
This is a great place that you've found, and you're quickly realizing that it's not the paradise that we all first think it to be BUT IT DOES COME DAMN CLOSE!! so yes I, as well, hope you'll stay and add to the fascinating mix in the way that you're already adding to it!

also i did not respond to your final post in the dildo thread because i didn't want to keep the focus on you and the brouhaha -- i felt it best to just move along, BUT I was VERY touched by what you wrote and how you wrote it -- it has stayed with me and made me feel that you are very dear. which i tried to communicare to you in another thread.

so -- excuse the jangled syntax here, as i said, i'm feeling pressed and anxious about getting to work is all -- you have ALREADY made yourself felt here as a person of strong and special sentiments who can be counted on to make a lovely contribution.

Internet forums are very interesting "communities," because in some ways they work JUST like the real world and in some ways we are circumscribed in our understanding of one another and of what is really going on with the person/people we're writing to. We none of us ever have the real or even the partial picture and often we err. So I think all of us do well to take it all with a grain of salt (advice I should have taken myself; I have let events here catapault me into great sorrow in the past -- and I should add that it was when I thought I'd upset someone severely).

Enough! My point: If we were at a social gathering and I had ruffled your feathers or you had ruffled mine, we would see by our FACES that we are kind and loving people and we would hug -- or I would hug YOU, at least, because I've wanted to --- and it would be over and you would feel love. (I hope.) We can't do that here, but I hope you'll try to imagine that some of us have hugged you.

more clarity later.

---

Under all speech that is good for any-thing there lies a silence that is better.  Silence is as deep as Eternity;  speech is as shallow as Time.--Thomas Carlysle

Siobhan

Member

Registered: 15-06-06

Posts: 823

Re: Foregiveness

I have just received this missive from our newest (apparent!) lurker with the request that I post it:

Stammering: I apologise for my overreaction, and have come to realise that I have been the bastard in this, not you. Since I am no longer a member of the site, I cannot prostrate myself in public the way I ought to, but please accept my sincere apology and my hope that you will have a better time on IFM in future. At least I won’t be there to bother you   Yours, Burlesque.

---

Under all speech that is good for any-thing there lies a silence that is better.  Silence is as deep as Eternity;  speech is as shallow as Time.--Thomas Carlysle

stammering

Member

Registered: 27-08-06

Posts: 72

Re: Foregiveness

Thank you Liandra.  Siobhan I would hug you too, in fact I am hugging you now.  Can you feel this cyberspace hug?  And Burlesque you are not a barstard.  You tickled me with a whip once and I didn't like it, but you are not a barstard.  I will miss your rich, warm, free flowing and superbly articulate text and I am not alone (for once) in that.