I can't cum...

mic12345 · 09-10-08 23:54:04

Anyone ever have this problem? I'm a guy...I love my wife, find her extremely sexy, we have sex all the time. The problem is by the time I actually get ready to cum she's tired and dry and we're both exhausted. I can cum easily masturbating but I end up "faking" it to make her feel better (easy to do when you "cum" inside her). She wants kids...I've been kinda scared of the whole thing...I'm just wondering if my fear of children is psychologically stopping me from cumming inside her.

blissed · 10-10-08 00:19:30

Have you tried using the fantasies that make you cum when your masturbating and using them at the point you want to cum while making love, kind of the opposite of thinking of Danny DeVito to prevent premature ejaculation :)

Fear of how children will impact your life could inhibit you and it sounds like you need to talk to her about that, so you two have children when your both ready.

.

hyperballad · 10-10-08 01:42:04

Whilst I'm not a guy, my latest partner experienced something similar.

We were going through a difficult emotional time and we were still having great sex however as our problems worsened he became sexually disfunctional and had no control over it enough though he still wanted to be intimate with me. We talked about it lots and lots but it basically only righted itself once we got things sorted between us...

So perhaps your fear of children is affecting you and psyching you out from ejaculating inside her... Have you spoken about your fears to her?

Also as far as the dryness is concerned invest in a high quality water based lubricant... I've found I have this problem ( I guess we all do) on occasion so having a good lube handy will solve that problem.

I hope you're able to work out whats happening

Soberman · 10-10-08 03:42:50

You made no mention of foreplay. Let her tease you with her hand, mouth, feet. . . anything but intercourse until you've just about blasted off. This could avoid the dryness problem, your anxiety and enjoy sex even more.

nihpuad · 10-10-08 04:52:57

blissed wrote:

kind of the opposite of thinking of Danny DeVito to prevent premature ejaculation

Geez, Blissed! Now that you've put that image in our heads, none of us will be able to come!

blissed · 10-10-08 11:48:15

You know what they say, a trouble shared is a trouble doubled :)

.

samknox1 · 12-10-08 05:28:08

If the past tense of "cum" is "came", shouldn't the present tense be "come"?

DrNathaniel · 12-10-08 05:43:49

Hmm. Maybe it's largely physical. When masturbating, it's possible to provide a lot of friction... much more so then during intercourse. Try not masturbating for a long time - it's possible that you're just desensitizing yourself.

Of course, the psycological thing with the kids is possible too. Experiment: try a condom. If you come then, then it's pretty much got to be in your head. If you don't, then look for something more basic. Might put your mind at rest.

Oh, and the past tense should be "cume".

samknox1 · 12-10-08 18:57:11

DrNathaniel wrote:

Oh, and the past tense should be "cume".

...and how are we pronouncing that, Doctor?

nihpuad · 13-10-08 00:44:48

samknox1 wrote:

If the past tense of "cum" is "came", shouldn't the present tense be "come"?

As a professional wordsmith, I've always been troubled by "cum." Yes, I understand the desire to distinguish the sexual meaning of "come" from all the other meanings... but plenty of English words (and, I assume, words in other languages as well) have multiple meanings without requiring multiple spellings. For my money, it should be come, came, have come.

FWIW, I'm also not too pleased about using "orgasm" as a verb. But it's possible I'm just being a cranky old fart in both cases; YMMV.

It occurs to me to wonder if anyone's ever done an etymological study of sexual language and slang? If not, maybe someone should...

mic12345 · 13-10-08 18:28:36

Part of the problem is that she won't give me oral sex or use a lubricant because she read in some book that these things reduce sperm count or make them sluggish. Of course, I've compounded the problem by "faking it".

samknox1 · 13-10-08 19:48:24

After reading your latest post, and re-reading your original post, I think you might be pulling our legs.

If not, my opinion is that you need to be talking to your wife, not us.

DrNathaniel · 13-10-08 20:12:59

samknox1 wrote:

DrNathaniel wrote:
Oh, and the past tense should be "cume".
...and how are we pronouncing that, Doctor?

Long-u. Like "cumin", or "Q-bert".

Of course, my Doctorate isn't in medicine or English, so take everything I say as [strikethrough]a grain of salt[/strikethrough] a lie.

mic12345 · 14-10-08 03:23:22

im not pulling anyones leg...this is really a problem for me. my wife wants to get pregnant. she read some "natural" pregnancy book

love50 · 24-10-08 21:16:13

ahhhh....your wife wants to get pregnant and you are having trouble coming inside her? hmmmm. this may warrant some conversation between you and (gasp) shall i say it?...maybe a therapist?

redpoppy · 03-11-08 22:59:04

I have a medical problem which inhabits me from cumming. However with a lot of forplay and a very loving wife we do have success on occasion. Try a little wine before retiring to bed. or just tease and carress each other throughout the day in antispation of the comming night. there are lots of ways to make it happen.

DrNathaniel · 25-11-08 20:17:12

mic: sorry, we sometimes get sidetracked with banter.

Redpoppy has the right start: get checked by a doctor ; it's possible there's a simple remedy. (Note another thread about a woman who couldn't come - any chance you're on anti-seizure meds?)

If all else fails, you can try artificial insemination.

#1 09-10-08 23:54:04

I can't cum...

#2 10-10-08 00:19:30

Re: I can't cum...

#3 10-10-08 01:42:04

Re: I can't cum...

#4 10-10-08 03:42:50

Re: I can't cum...

#5 10-10-08 04:52:57

Re: I can't cum...

#6 10-10-08 11:48:15

Re: I can't cum...

#7 12-10-08 05:28:08

Re: I can't cum...

#8 12-10-08 05:43:49

Re: I can't cum...

#9 12-10-08 18:57:11

Re: I can't cum...

#10 13-10-08 00:44:48

Re: I can't cum...

#11 13-10-08 18:28:36

Re: I can't cum...

#12 13-10-08 19:48:24

Re: I can't cum...

#13 13-10-08 20:12:59

Re: I can't cum...

#14 14-10-08 03:23:22

Re: I can't cum...

#15 24-10-08 21:16:13

Re: I can't cum...

#16 03-11-08 22:59:04

Re: I can't cum...

#17 25-11-08 20:17:12

Re: I can't cum...

Board footer