couples vibes

viva · 15-05-19 06:13:45

has anyone used a couples vibe before? a we vibe or other brand - like the ones that vibrate internally and externally, to be worn during penetrative sex. Experiences? Thoughts?

JAMMYMAN · 15-05-19 08:41:47

No experiences of such special vibes (my wife and I just use a standard one). Plenty of thoughts though, Viva. I have an erection as a result.

viva · 16-05-19 00:34:01

Haha, always glad to be a source of inspiration. How do you use a regular one during sex? Doesn't it get in the way?

Molly_f · 16-05-19 02:39:07

I have experimented with a vibrating cock ring and I thought it was great.... Unfortunately we bought the cheapest ones we could find because we had no money and they were too tight for him and broke quite quickly Definitely a good concept that I'm sure has been engineered properly, you just gotta be willing to dish out the cash! Haven't thought about that in years... will maybe go look for one.

viva · 16-05-19 04:45:59

omg we tried a cock ring once. it scared the hell out of me. It was hard to put on like, my strength wasn't enough to stretch it, he could but like O_O

it was just a simple one like this

zxI75h9.jpg?1

it goes over his dick AND balls which just terrfied me like, wtf... what if we couldn't get it off... and then he was hard and it was so intense I was so scared he would get hurt oh lawdy. I was too anxious to be turned on by it.

Last edited by viva (16-05-19 04:47:23)

JAMMYMAN · 16-05-19 07:49:37

viva wrote:

Haha, always glad to be a source of inspiration. How do you use a regular one during sex? Doesn't it get in the way?

Well of course its usual use is for masturbation, But she has one situation where she likes to use it during sex. She usually has one good orgasm, but occasionally she will say, as she is 'coming down' that she could go again. What she then likes for her 'second coming' is for me to keep my erection fully inserted, but to keep still, and she slides her vibrator between us and turns it on, and makes herself come again. I think that qualifies as 'using one during sex', but I suppose you could argue that it is a slightly specialised form of masturbation. What do you think?

viva · 17-05-19 04:29:07

It's an interesting question! Yeah when I want to come during sex, I usually need him to be pretty specific... it's really best if he stays still and I can move as I like. The thing is that penetration feels good but it's not what makes me come (unless it's super specific spot with finger or toys!) and the movement of sex can kind of eclipse the sensation so I can't feel what I need to feel to steadily get to my orgasm! In a sense it does kind of feel like masturbation and sort of "separate from sex". I guess thats why I dream of a couples vibe that really works, cause if it really stayed put and was strong enough, maybe an orgasm could just sort of happen while I'm concentrating on connecting with him instead of concentrating on the orgasm, if that makes sense?

JAMMYMAN · 17-05-19 15:09:03

viva wrote:

I guess thats why I dream of a couples vibe that really works, cause if it really stayed put and was strong enough, maybe an orgasm could just sort of happen while I'm concentrating on connecting with him instead of concentrating on the orgasm, if that makes sense?

Yes, that makes complete sense, if it can be achieved. I haven't seen the wevibe, but from what little I know, I understand that it is inserted and provides both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, and that the guy's penis is also inserted and so benefits from the internal stimulation. I would repeat your question and ask "doesn't it get in the way?" Or do you both stay relatively still and enjoy a connection with the stimulation coming from vibration rather than friction/movement?

Incidentally, I now have an erection from thinking about what I am writing. (I hope you don't think that's too much information!)

JAMMYMAN · 17-05-19 15:10:28

viva wrote:

I guess thats why I dream of a couples vibe that really works, cause if it really stayed put and was strong enough, maybe an orgasm could just sort of happen while I'm concentrating on connecting with him instead of concentrating on the orgasm, if that makes sense?

Yes, that makes complete sense, if it can be achieved. I haven't seen the wevibe, but from what little I know, I understand that it is inserted and provides both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, and that the guy's penis is also inserted and so benefits from the internal stimulation. I would repeat your question and ask "doesn't it get in the way?" Or do you both stay relatively still and enjoy a connection with the stimulation coming from vibration rather than friction/movement?

Incidentally, I now have an erection from thinking about what I am writing. (I hope you don't think that's too much information!)

Molly_f · 21-05-19 01:29:56

Do vibrating toys do very much for a penis? Is there such a thing as like a vibrating sleeve or something?

Monotreme · 22-05-19 01:25:46

Molly_f wrote:

Do vibrating toys do very much for a penis? Is there such a thing as like a vibrating sleeve or something?

I haven't used one in a while, but yes, I used to derive a lot of pleasure from a vibrator. They make vibrating pussies and I've used a Hitachi-style vibrator on the glans for a very intense orgasm.

For a time, I had a fingertip-sized vibrator that I would use on my ex-wife's clit but sometimes when she was not around I'd appropriate it for use while I masturbated. I'd stroke myself in the usual way* and the feeling of the vibrating fingertip on the glans made for a very interesting and pleasurable addition to the "usual" sensation of masturbation.

*I have always preferred a very simple method of masturbation, focusing on the last half or third of the penis and grasping firmly but not roughly as my forefinger rides the line between the shaft and glans.

viva · 22-05-19 01:40:50

That's hot. So I guess the vibrator doesn't overpower/distract from the feeling of stroking?

I wonder if the male glans area is like the visible tip of the clitoris. Cocks are just big clits.

Monotreme · 26-05-19 15:31:06

Anatomically and embryologically, yes, the glans is analogous to the clit. So I'd bet you're right. I don't know the details of sex reassignment surgery, but I would bet we'd get some insights from that into how "typical" males and females experience pleasure, since I assume the surgeons try to arrange things so their patients experience pleasure in as "normal" a way as possible.

I would guess that stroking the shaft of the penis is more like having a toy or male penis stimulating the walls of the vagina. At least, that's what Masters and Johnson seemed to think and while they were wrong about some stuff, they were more right than those who came (heh!) before them.

I suspect that IFM subscribers and staff are probably more into empathizing (empathising) with the feelings of the opposite gender. I know that for me, watching someone of the opposite sex orgasm is a most fundamental pleasure. So I think curiousity about what the other gender feels as they orgasm is a natural extension of that.

Last edited by Monotreme (26-05-19 15:32:05)

Christiano · 26-05-19 16:17:18

as a male i use toys all the time,and of course most of my partners have also,so the we vibe is great when we are both are really wanting to get off or even sometimes having the we vibe inserted during sex,even the smallest movements are incredible,my current partner always initiates insertion of the we vibe and sometime she just uses it externally either way its all benefits to me,she is more likely to orgasm and i love the vibrations,i orgasm 6-10 times a week from vibration alone without stroking(masturbating alone)..maybe its just me but i reckon guys are missing out by not using vibe because of some kind of weird stigma..

viva · 27-05-19 01:06:58

that's so interesting christiano! thanks for sharing. super interesting that you can come without stroking, those hands free orgasms are mighty impressive...

about the we-vibe, that's what I've read too - that it's especially good for slow, rocking sex without a lot of fast in-and-out action. these comments are definitely making me want to buy one.although I'm really tempted to get one of those clit-sucking satisfying things too... ahh well, sex-toy wish-lists will just have to compete with my book, sock, lingerie and stationary wish-lists for now.

monotreme, I would think the walls of the vagina wouldn't be that exciting except for the "iceberg" structure of the clitoris. like right up at the top. While other things feel good, all the real action's at the top I reckon. I really love this picture, little clit and big penis just going on a chill walk together -

lwRHC3Q.jpg?1

how cute are they!?

Monotreme · 27-05-19 16:09:00

It's really fascinating to me on multiple levels. It's fascinating that it was so easy for researchers to figure out how males are stimulated. While I'm tempted to make some cracks about the patriarchy and such, it's really that the male sexual anatomy is so damn simple (what researchers call the hydraulic model): more blood flows into the penis than flows out, causing erection; and, in general, for men erection = sexual arousal.

Women, as women already know, are much more complicated and therefore more fascinating. (Here, I run the risk of mansplaining female sexual anatomy, and so I am ready to stand corrected if anyone wants to.) Studies have shown that there are three areas of the female body that engorge with blood during perceived sexual arousal: the clitoris (well-illustrated in Viva's post above); the vestibular bulb; and Halban's fascia/G-spot. As I read the literature, it seems that different women experience arousal and engorgement of these three structures to different extents at different times. That has certainly been my experience as a partner.

Halban's fascia is embryologically derived from the same tissue as the erectile tissue which surrounds the male urethra, while the clitoris and vestibular bulb are closer embryologically to the glans of the male penis, so that was the basis for my earlier comment.

Interestingly, the semi-mythological G-spot has its own English Wikipedia page, but the non-mythological anatomical site called Halban's fascia has only a page in German (linked above) and French Wikipedia. This makes me suspect that the tribal nature of modern science has, not surprisingly, infected research into the female sexual response. I tend to find the European literature on the female sexual response a lot more approachable and a lot more in line with my experience than the American version, however. I'd be interested in what the females on this site think of these papers. Maybe you could start a new thread, Viva, or we could just continue here.

Last edited by Monotreme (27-05-19 16:12:17)

Monotreme · 27-05-19 16:21:01

This paper seems to me to sum up a lot of important points about female sexual physiology & embryology. Of course it's from Italy, not the USA.

viva · 28-05-19 01:22:12

Wow Monotreme. That last paper especially is so fascinating and so detailed in its compare/contrast of the penis and the clitoris. Very cool. And I'm glad for all these papers that exalt the clit, condemning Freud's 1905 preference for a mythical "vaginal orgasm" as a sign of sexual maturity. The clit is so awesome and that's great, except for, this is the conclusion:

"An orgasm that comes from rubbing the clitoris cannot be distinguished physiologically from one that comes from intercourse or breast
stimulation alone’’[1,37]. Clitoral/vaginal/uterine orgasm, ‘‘G/A/C/U spot’’ orgasm, are terms that should not be used by sexologists,
women and mass-media [3,4,38]"

This makes me laugh. I don't know! They're just different, so dear paper, what term should I be allowed to use!? There's absolutely no way I could get my juicy, multiple, heavenly orgasms just from clitoral stimulation. Yes most nights I just have my regular clit orgasm and go so sleep, but like, there's a huge difference between those two experiences. For me they can definitely be distinguished physiologically because like, there's more of them! And I'd be willing to bet there's hormonal differences - the first one just feels like taking the edge off. While the rest are the real bone-melting bliss pools, each better than the other.

And I can't always have them as easily! And it's definitely harder with a partner... because the thing about whatever the hell that spot is, is, it MOVES!
As you said, we are experiencing the swelling and arousal of those three structures, on three different physical planes, at different times. It's less like a linear, start-to-finish, swell-to-burst than it is like, a bellows symphony, clouds of steam and blood rising and falling at different times, in different place... it's like bedsheets on the laundry line on a windy day, rippling in and out.

When I'm on my own, ha, fucking myself is like whack-a-mole, to be a bit crude about it. I can get it so good, so hard and fast, feeling inside myself the swell as it moves and changes.

So okay maybe there's no "g-spot", maybe there is, I don't know, science seems to say no, but there's definitely arousal swelling happening up in there, and poking it a lot - while rubbing my clit, for whatever reason I still need to touch my clit when I'm having that kind of orgasm, though it is much less important than when I don't have any kind of penetration - makes me come like crazy.

Vincenzo Puppo seems like a nice guy but yeah I don't know. Maybe the science is right but this isn't truth, not for me and not for many of the orgasms I watch every day on IFM. Women aren't writing these things. Or like, if they are where are they, and maybe they should have priority for papers like this.

Monotreme · 28-05-19 13:55:54

In my opinion, the problem arises from trying to group the ungroupable, from trying to classify the unclassifiable. Each orgasm, and each woman, is unique, like flowers. Yet scientists feel the need to count petals, and measure the length of stamens, and weigh pollen.

viva · 29-05-19 00:44:09

I think this is basically the underlying conflict between male and female.

vagans · 30-05-19 00:46:03

Monotreme wrote:

It's really fascinating to me on multiple levels. It's fascinating that it was so easy for researchers to figure out how males are stimulated. While I'm tempted to make some cracks about the patriarchy and such, it's really that the male sexual anatomy is so damn simple (what researchers call the hydraulic model): more blood flows into the penis than flows out, causing erection; and, in general, for men erection = sexual arousal.

Although some women get confused because they notice their partner has an erection in the morning, and don't realize that sleeping in some positions causes blood to pool. Using your words and learning about your partner and 'human beings', not 'men' or 'women,' can really solve a lot of sexual problems

Monotreme wrote:

Interestingly, the semi-mythological G-spot has its own English Wikipedia page, but the non-mythological anatomical site called Halban's fascia has only a page in German (linked above) and French Wikipedia. This makes me suspect that the tribal nature of modern science has, not surprisingly, infected research into the female sexual response. I tend to find the European literature on the female sexual response a lot more approachable and a lot more in line with my experience than the American version, however. I'd be interested in what the females on this site think of these papers. Maybe you could start a new thread, Viva, or we could just continue here.

It is a problem that not enough researchers in North America read languages other than English. It is not all in English and French guys! The thing where the researchers in North America attend conferences in Toronto or Austin not Tokyo or Heidelburg is harder.

And yay for open access science on sex!

viva · 30-05-19 02:29:23

Can people with cocks get erect without feeling sexually aroused?

Monotreme · 30-05-19 14:25:05

viva wrote:

Can people with cocks get erect without feeling sexually aroused?

Nodding to the few exceptions, I'd reassert that, in general, for males

erection = sexual arousal

viva · 31-05-19 03:38:25

Sigh. I love dicks.

Monotreme · 31-05-19 03:58:19

I love ladyparts in all their glory and complexity.

#1 15-05-19 06:13:45

couples vibes

#2 15-05-19 08:41:47

Re: couples vibes

#3 16-05-19 00:34:01

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