knots, emotion, arousal, disgrace

viva · 21-05-13 04:27:55

the title of this post sounds like an dessert at a high-end gourmet brothel.

arright.

Does anyone else ever feel that being aroused confuses everything? If I get turned on, I get so super emotional - and a lot of times, those emotions are of the desperate variety - edgy, confused, frustrated, anxious, demanding, or angry.

I really don't react well to being deprived of my calm, my balanced control, and my intellect - which is funny when, conversely and naturally, that deprivation is exactly what I seem to crave from my sexuality.

What's up with this? Does anyone else feel that this sex stuff is so complicated?

I see that some other people in my life flow easily when aroused, reaching out to touch and be touched, existing more simply in a mode of sensuality than when the moment is about conversation and distances. Being in a space of arousal seems to simply feel good and right to them and they attract people to them in positive ways for fulfillment.

Me... in the company of others, just when my body wants to go soft and reach for them, my brain makes me bristle like an energetic hairbrush, forced alert, searching for a way to complicate things.

I think part of why my masturbatory journey with Feck has been so good for me - when I arouse myself, no negative feelings come because I can just move into a really sensual space. When it is just me, I can trust completely that I am doing the right thing, that it doesn't matter what I look like, and that I will have physical satisfaction at the end.

But otherwise, ecstatic abandon eludes me unless I am in the most safest of constructed spaces.

Oh well - I came here to talk about Kink.com's Public Disgrace site and to explore the idea of whether consent is enough to make this kind of porn ethical... but then I got turned on and upset and upset that I was turned on and annoyed that I was upset and the whole thing sent my brain into a bit of a snit.

Instead of philosophizing, I found myself taking an uneasy look at the deep and creepy depths of my own sexuality.

So I just thought I'd share some of them.

I want to know, does anyone else feel that arousal comes along with a complicated emotional response?

LydiaBennett · 21-05-13 06:36:11

um, the opposite actually.
thought (mostly unconcious ie the human condition)
then emotion (and there are many derivatives named BUT, really only 2: love and fear)
then the physical response/charge sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system at work depending on signals from the brain.

viva · 21-05-13 06:56:53

Hmm, so you experience thought, then emotion, and then arousal?

Can you give an example? And then, once you're aroused, do you feel that thoughts/emotions fade out and give way to pure sensation?

nazgard · 24-05-13 10:15:09

I feel same way Viva. Yes by now I'd like to think I'd know my sexuality better but I don't. I have to mentally prepare myself for sex. I am easily nervous and self conscious and over thinking can ruin the moment

#1 21-05-13 04:27:55

knots, emotion, arousal, disgrace

#2 21-05-13 06:36:11

Re: knots, emotion, arousal, disgrace

#3 21-05-13 06:56:53

Re: knots, emotion, arousal, disgrace

#4 24-05-13 10:15:09

Re: knots, emotion, arousal, disgrace

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