Man or woman ?

alsbosilver · 27-02-21 07:46:39

With rare exceptions, members of this forum do not use first names and it is often difficult to know if they are men or women. Even if some messages allow us to suppose it, would there not be some way to have an indication? For example a change of color or graphics in the nicknames or simply put in brackets M or F? Viva, Richard, what do you think?
Christian

richard · 27-02-21 12:15:16

I think trying to fit people into a binary gender system these days is a risky business and besides, you're relying on the honesty of the poster and I can tell you the gender of the nickname here doesn't always match the gender of the name of the subscriber.

alsbosilver · 28-02-21 10:11:21

richard wrote:

I think trying to fit people into a binary gender system these days is a risky business and besides, you're relying on the honesty of the poster and I can tell you the gender of the nickname here doesn't always match the gender of the name of the subscriber.

Yes I forgot indeed that we live in a society totally destructured by egalitarian ideologies ...

and since I'm not ashamed to be a man, I sign my first name!

Christian

Last edited by alsbosilver (28-02-21 10:28:35)

smoothed · 28-02-21 14:26:07

alsbosilver - it's not whether one is ashamed to be a man or a woman, but that at times there is a sense that these binaristic categories are not sufficient to encompass the fullness of one's gender identity. put it another way - if you were born a woman, would you be ashamed of it?

viva · 01-03-21 00:39:43

alsbosilver wrote:

Yes I forgot indeed that we live in a society totally destructured by egalitarian ideologies ...

Thank god for destructuring crappy structures whew.

alsbosilver · 01-03-21 10:55:59

smoothed wrote:

alsbosilver - it's not whether one is ashamed to be a man or a woman, but that at times there is a sense that these binaristic categories are not sufficient to encompass the fullness of one's gender identity. put it another way - if you were born a woman, would you be ashamed of it?

I will answer you gladly, but I like to know if I am speaking to a man or a woman and not to a neutral being! Who are you then? With all my friendship !

_redbird_ · 02-03-21 01:39:41

alsbosilver wrote:

smoothed wrote:
alsbosilver - it's not whether one is ashamed to be a man or a woman, but that at times there is a sense that these binaristic categories are not sufficient to encompass the fullness of one's gender identity. put it another way - if you were born a woman, would you be ashamed of it?

I will answer you gladly, but I like to know if I am speaking to a man or a woman and not to a neutral being! Who are you then? With all my friendship !

I'm not trying to come for you, but out of curiosity, why do you feel the need to know what gender the people you're speaking to are?

viva · 02-03-21 02:09:58

^ also curious about this

TZO2K16 · 05-03-21 10:34:59

I for one could care less whether it is a man, woman, or gender neutral, just so long as it's a person and not a hedgehog... as they talk too much about corn and seeds for my liking!

alsbosilver · 07-03-21 10:19:31

Bonjour Viva et TZO2K16 et Richard

Your question is really curious, but I will answer it

Here we are linked on questions of sexuality and particularly an aspect of sexuality which fascinates us, which absorbs us and which generates endless discussions all as fascinating as each other: masturbation.

However, what differentiates men and women is everything that concerns sexuality, both physiologically and mentally. And I find that we have a lot to contribute in these threads, as long as we know who we are chatting with.

I know it is very fashionable to advocate gender neutrality; it is an egalitarian political and cultural ideology (especially in France) to which I do not subscribe at all.

By posting this topic, it was obviously not for me to categorize or judge anything, but on the contrary to enrich our discussions, there was not the slightest sexist ulterior motive in my remarks.

And to answer your question, if I were a woman I would be quite proud of it, if only because I could give birth and especially because I could have multiple orgasms ...

I do not want to make any controversy on the subject of gender, I think you understood it, and that is why I now sign my comments with my male first name, not out of pride, but quite simply out of honesty

Christian

viva · 09-03-21 00:18:40

I think you are making controversy on the subject of binary gender just by being so attached to the idea of two strongly defined genders being the right way, and indicating that people should be willing to identify their gender for you. I think it's one thing to express that you navigate the world philosophically in a binary gendered way, and another to imply that in order to have a good conversation with you, others should do the same.

Does that make sense?

richard · 09-03-21 05:52:19

viva wrote:

^ also curious about this

Most men are on the make most of the time. That's why it matters.

In my previous life as an engineer I used to frequent Usenet groups to discuss and solve technical problems. I soon learned that if I posed as a woman, I would get many more, and more detailed responses. I didn't do it often, but when I really needed an answer to something tricky, it helped. Of course some guys would want my email so they can "help me privately" with the issue.

viva · 09-03-21 06:56:26

I don't think that was what alsbo meant though.

SLloydnorris · 09-03-21 09:30:11

I am both confused by alsbo's distaste for egalitarianism (egalite is, after all, in the damn French national motto) and not confused (I, as a philosophy scholar, have put eyes on way too many pages of French Philosophy).

What I find most discomfiting, however, is a man coming to a community geared toward acceptance and affirmation of female and non-male identifying persons' bodies and sexuality...and attempting to explain gender to them.

That's, like...I dunno, maybe a little bit of a faux pas (en votre belle langue).

And Viva (forgive me; I haven't yet figured out the html here for tagging users in a post): I agree wholeheartedly with your differention between internal though structures and external demands. Alsbo needs to read him some Derrida.

alsbosilver · 09-03-21 10:18:48

Hmm I see that I touched an extremely sensitive subject, ideological, political, societal, philosophical on which one can embroider a whole bunch of theories and which I probably made myself misunderstood.

We each presented our points of view, it's very interesting, but, again, I don't want to create any controversy.

It is respect for each other's ideas that is most important in my opinion and I thank you for expressing them.

Christian

smoothed · 09-03-21 15:10:42

I have a female friend called Christian. Albso I know you've identified as male, but even traditionally male names can be taken on by cishet females.

Last edited by smoothed (09-03-21 15:11:25)

viva · 10-03-21 02:47:37

Alsbo - for what it's worth I think you can generally tell when a poster wants to be easily identified as a binary male or female by their nicknames, what they say and how they say it. And if you're confused and you'd like to know more concretely, if it would help you know how to relate or respond in a conversation, you could maybe politely ask an individual if they identify with any gender identity, and if they'd be comfortable sharing - I don't think that would cause offense.

Last edited by viva (10-03-21 02:48:41)

SLloydnorris · 10-03-21 05:13:24

viva wrote:

Alsbo - for what it's worth I think you can generally tell when a poster wants to be easily identified as a binary male or female by their nicknames, what they say and how they say it. And if you're confused and you'd like to know more concretely, if it would help you know how to relate or respond in a conversation, you could maybe politely ask an individual if they identify with any gender identity, and if they'd be comfortable sharing - I don't think that would cause offense.

This. This right here is some wise kindness.

alsbosilver · 10-03-21 07:48:39

viva wrote:

Alsbo - for what it's worth I think you can generally tell when a poster wants to be easily identified as a binary male or female by their nicknames, what they say and how they say it. And if you're confused and you'd like to know more concretely, if it would help you know how to relate or respond in a conversation, you could maybe politely ask an individual if they identify with any gender identity, and if they'd be comfortable sharing - I don't think that would cause offense.

Yes, it is a very good idea indeed!

alsbosilver · 10-03-21 07:50:49

smoothed wrote:

I have a female friend called Christian. Albso I know you've identified as male, but even traditionally male names can be taken on by cishet females.

Yes indeed. !

viva · 10-03-21 23:53:36

Christian is the incredible French-Indian politician woman in The Expanse and she is epic.

alsbosilver · 11-03-21 09:33:37

viva wrote:

Christian is the incredible French-Indian politician woman in The Expanse and she is epic.

Ha ha it's a lot of fun

SLloydnorris · 11-03-21 09:45:07

viva wrote:

Christian is the incredible French-Indian politician woman in The Expanse and she is epic.

You watch The Expanse? Stoooooooop it; I'm already in love with you! Chrisjen Avasarala is the SHIT. She's even more incredible in the books, but Shohreh Aghdashloo was nothing short of the perfect casting.

viva · 11-03-21 23:45:56

I'm just about halfway through season 5 and it's the most epic show, I have to read the books because it's the only conceptual sci-fi that has even begun to approach the mathematical grandeur of Cixin Liu's magnificent Three Body Problem series... I doubt Corey can come close to Liu really, Liu is like a scifi god. but still I'm sure the books have more of that hard physics goodness than the show could get into.

No spoilers but if those OUTFITS and that ACCENT and that VOICE weren't enough, a scene recently where Shohreh Ahdashloo had to show emotional vulnerability made me feel absolutely obsessed with her. She is a phenomenal acctress.

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Man or woman ?

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