Guys in their 20s?

_catherine_ · 23-10-19 02:24:12

Hi guys! I want to know more about you! I'm 22 and I sometimes wonder if anyone my age is watching my videos? I get caught in daydreams fantasising when I'm walking around uni that someone I cross paths with may have watched me orgasm...

Fill me in! Are any of you guys in your 20s? I want to know more about who watches IFM!

Sadoraan123 · 23-10-19 08:12:52

Hey Catherine!

I'm 26, been a member of IFM on and off since i was about 19 i think? "Mainstream" Porn (for lack of a better word) never really did it for me, so this and a few other sites became my go-to's since then.

I've always wondered too whether i'll just be walking around in town sometime and see someone and go "Wait where do i know them from?" and realize they are an IFM contributor. Or weirder, have someone introduce me to a friend or co-worker or something and my first thought is "Hi, know you and i've seen you masturbate, how are you?"

I'm sure some contributors here must have been recognized somewhere

privignus · 23-10-19 18:41:00

Hi _catherine_, I was in my mid-20s and at university when I first joined although I am a bit older now. I think all the contributors are so brave to be naked on the Internet!

And yeah Sadoraan123, I think there are a lot of guys who are just not in to someone with overbleached hair and a boob job going through the motions with Stunt Cock Number 43! IFM was the first site I signed up for because the videos are so sexy and intimate.

I think a lot of things in the world would be better if more people could talk to a few friends about sex honestly. Sex is part of life!

_catherine_ · 24-10-19 02:22:52

Hi guys! Thank you for replying yay! So good to hear you're out there haha. Sadoraan I'm so glad you found us! It makes me so happy to think men are looking for ethical content. I don't love mainstream porn either. It's a bit unsettling and honestly scared me a little. Hahah I hope you do have that experience Sadoraan! Please let us know if that ever does happen! I would be honoured if someone gently said that to me if they spotted me in the streets.

Privignus good to hear from you too! I think we've got to be careful to not demonise the women who contribute to mainstream porn too much. I respect all women no matter their choices, as long as they are their own safe choices, but I do know what you mean! Mainstream porn doesn't fit my aesthetic at all. I'll never be able to use it to turn me on! So good to hear you were at uni too when you discovered us ) I like thinking that people I may very well know or have crossed paths with, are interested in Feck too!

Sadoraan123 · 24-10-19 04:04:55

Yeah I think in our generation, a greater and greater percentage of men (and women) are going to be drawn towards real and ethical porn. It just naturally goes along side a lot of things that we are fighting/campaigning for. Another upside of that is there are going to be more and more people who what to take part in making good porn! Which is a win for everyone .
Not to get too sidetracked, but i'd be interested to hear if the numbers of people wanting to contribute to IFM has increased over the last 5 or so years?

Interesting to hear that you would be ok with someone mentioning to you that they watched your contributions (in a nice way). I'm not sure i'd have the guts to just walk up to someone and say it. Maybe if it was in a context where we were introduced.
I'd be to worried that i'd actually got it wrong and the person i'm speaking to just kind of looks like one of the IFM contributors :'). That is mildly embarrassing just thinking about that.
If i'm over in Melb (I assume most contributors from Aus are Melbournites) and i see you around, i'll mention it haha

_redbird_ · 24-10-19 05:29:20

I've seen quite a few people from the sites on the street and often think I know them IRL and will sometimes go to say hello until I realise that I don't know them at all and I'm far too socially awkward to mention the sites and that I'm also on them, so I just leave it.

Way waaaay back, Bathory and I were at a pub and a guy (in his 20's, ha!) recognised us both and very awkwardly came over and said hello. He was very polite but it was obvious that he realised he was basically admitting that he's seen us naked and that he possibly wanked to it, so the interaction was extremely brief. Fun fact: Bathory and I went to the same high school for a year and dated the same dude who later came out as gay. I'm pretty sure we were both dumped by him too, haha.

Last edited by _redbird_ (24-10-19 06:43:54)

Mew · 24-10-19 05:59:05

Ooh I'm glad we're talking about what you should do if you recognise someone from porn!

One day a few years ago my local cafe, a dude who was also a regular started making eyes at me and eventually ended up talking to me, chatting and vaguely flirting for a few days until he asked for my number which I gave him. I wasn't super into him but he was so keen I gave him a shot he was trying so hard.

Before we ever even went on a date I found out from the barista I was friends with that the dude had been bragging about me to the staff, that he was "gonna date a pornstar" (before he'd even talked to me as well) - but he had never said anything to me about it.

I wouldn't have cared if he'd just been upfront but the fact that he took the time to pursue me then out me to to my everyone in a cafe where I went every day was too much. When I confronted him via text he couldn't comprehend what he'd done wrong and got defensive and vaguely aggressive?? Like dude. DUDE.

I've been approached in the street before and generally people are super respectful and just kinda stoked - as long as they're not being a creep it's a nice ego boost for me

Should we start a dedicated thread about this? Like, don't put it her porn on facebook for instance or, don't approach her if she's obviously with her mum or, don't stalk her - seems obvious but you'd be surprised how many people don't get it

viva · 24-10-19 06:06:07

Recently I was having dinner with my ex, who's from France and lives back there now, and he said he saw an old friend of his. I'd met this guy maybe once, staying with him and his family for a few days like 10 years ago. Anyway my ex told me that when he saw his friend, this guy took him aside and was like, hey I think you need to know something. I saw your ex in porn.

LOL my ex was like... yeah I know. He's done BA and even did a shoot for GMH back in the day, so he definitely knew what was up. But that's so funny to think, this guy was like trying to express his deep concern about me doing porn!

That's the only person I know about who like, "found me". Otherwise, it's mostly me riding the tram, smiling when I see familiar faces. I don't think I'd ever go up to someone IRL tho.

Mew · 24-10-19 06:15:22

What the heck?! See that's what I mean - a dude who met you once made it his mission to out you (failing miserably lol) but what is with that attitude??!? So many people get outed to their entire family or everyone they know because some dildo that wasn't even friends with them in primary school made it their personal quest to TELL FUCKING EVERYONE like, "I know her, did you see her porn? Here it is on my phone I'll send it to you" fuck offff.

viva · 24-10-19 06:17:36

Yeah now that you mention it, that's so fucked up.

Sadoraan123 · 24-10-19 07:05:09

It's interesting to hear how different people react to knowing someone is in porn or meeting someone they've seen on here.
I'm not surprised that there have been instances like Mew mentioned where someone takes things a bit far or comes off a bit creepy, i think it comes down partially to how we consume porn though?

I could be way off here, but when i watch IFM or any porn I don't self insert into it at all. It turns me on or i appreciate it because it's great erotic art, women's sexuality is really hot and all those good things, but it doesn't go beyond that for me. So meeting someone who i'd seen on IFM would be a bit unusual just because it's an uncommon situation, but I wouldn't be any more (or less) attracted to that person because i've seen them in porn.
It'd be the same as me running into a musician that I really liked, it'd be cool to say "I like your work" but they are still essentially a stranger to me.

Maybe that's exactly the same for everyone, but i wonder if some people feel more sexually attracted or connected to people they have seen in porn, and that comes across in their behavior if they ever meet irl?

- Happy to make a new thread on this, i feel like we've derailed Catherine's topic a bit

privignus · 24-10-19 18:41:52

Sadoraan123, self-insertion is a great subject! For me it depends on the performer, there is porn I appreciate aesthetically and porn I appreciate like sports and porn I fantasize about.

_catherine_ wrote:

Privignus good to hear from you too! I think we've got to be careful to not demonise the women who contribute to mainstream porn too much. I respect all women no matter their choices, as long as they are their own safe choices, but I do know what you mean! Mainstream porn doesn't fit my aesthetic at all. I'll never be able to use it to turn me on! So good to hear you were at uni too when you discovered us ) I like thinking that people I may very well know or have crossed paths with, are interested in Feck too!

hi _catherine_ I am sorry, I just did not know how to say that better. Maybe "enthusiasm is sexy and individuality is sexy and there is porn where people do not seem to be having fun and look like someone wants them to look"? So when I was younger I mostly read things and looked at still photos (remember domai?) and then I discovered IFM and Peter Hegre and one or two other places.

It makes me so frustrated to hear that people who are in porn have to deal with people sharing lovingly edited excerpts with all their friends, relatives, and co-workers or trying to break them up with their partners! Who do they think makes the porn they enjoy, elves in the deepest caves of Cyprus who vanish into a spray of sparkly jizz when the shoot is over?

I think as more societies become more open about sexuality, and the fact that most people have sent texts or photos they don't want shared, it will stop being such a big deal.

privignus · 24-10-19 19:12:43

Also, I think there are a lot of guys who are ashamed that they watch porn or hate that autonomous human beings called women control something so powerful as sex. So they are drawn to porn where the participants do not look like they are having fun, or they want to punish the people who have so much power over them by doxing them/insulting them. Its hard to say what is "mainstream porn" though, pinup/playboy style photos reach a lot of people and the kink dot com guys had a whole castle! Its not like TV where everyone talks about what they are watching.

I think finding that a lot of societies are struggling with that balance between open and honest about sexuality, but not harassing people or hitting on them when they want to be left alone/seen as buddies not potential lovers right now. Compartmentalizing sex to singles' nights and Tinder does not seem right to me, but a lot of women are really tired from being hit on by strangers when they are just going about their day.

Last edited by privignus (24-10-19 19:16:11)

_hyperballad_ · 25-10-19 00:15:35

Firstly, so many great points Sadoraan & Priv!

I've done mainstream porn for relatively mainstream companies. I had fun, I got paid. People tend to call the porn I make myself feminist but I think it's because I make things that I think look hot, I generally focus on my own pleasure but I'd still call it pretty mainstream. The super arty clip that I made doesn't really sell. That's the reality, if you're gonna go niche you have to be completely badass at it. See: IFM

Maybe instead of broad strokes about mainstream content you could say 'boring porn' or 'generic porn' - describe what you think is average or unappealing. I have so many thoughts about performers in 'average' porno but I'm not going to get into because no one wants to read an essay, I will say: Everyone has bad days at work, porn performers are no exception - unfortunately their bad days are immortalised & distributed.

I have also experienced people recognising me from several sites but mostly IFM, generally they have been polite & sweet but some guy got my autograph THEN whispered in my ear that he was getting hard just being around me. This is so far outside of acceptable behaviour, I wish I had of said something in the moment but I was completely gobsmacked. It was at Sexpo & I was working the Feck booth, but still it made me soooooo uncomfortable.

That said my least favourite thing is the 100 million questions, many of which could be answered with Google. If you meet someone from erotic media don't expect them to perform a bunch of emotional labour for you, just be humble & polite. Certainly don't go up to them if they're with people & out them.

That said I know for a fact that this stuff isn't a hard & fast rule, I can't speak for anyone else but myself - lots of women who cam & do porn find fans approaching them really scary.

So many men are absolutely ashamed of their sexual desires. I am a fat woman, I've seen this particular kind of I guess what you could call reverse body shame up close & personal time & time again. It makes me really sad that men do not feel the freedom to enjoy who they enjoy & what they enjoy openly.

We live in a largely sex negative society, we enforce lots of binary performative sexuality & so frequently anything outside of the norm is shunned. Right now the norm as far as erotic content is concerned is rather extreme sex acts. This absolutely spills over into society because of a lack of education & open, honest conversations surrounding sex & desire. I will bang on about porn literacy being taught in sex ed to teens forever.

Can you imagine the change in the world if a comprehensive harm reduction model of sex education where taught with a strong focus on pleasure & autonomy?

KamikazeKWC · 25-10-19 06:00:11

Great topic! I’ve been an IFM member on and off for quite awhile now and like a lot of members here (since my 20s). I was drawn to the beautiful honesty of what IFM is all about. Like many, I was not into the plastic nature of main stream porn and found it fake, crude and misogynistic. Watching a woman orgasm is truly a gorgeous sight to behold. It’s one of the most private and beautiful moments a woman can have and the fact that so many here are generous and brave enough to share is something to be applauded. To each and everyone who have contributed, thank you.

Now I did in fact recognise a contributor, the gorgeous Lindsay, one day in big shopping centre. The moment I noticed her I thought she looked very familiar. It didn’t take me long to put two and two together. She’s as beautiful in person as she is in her videos. And she was astoundingly petite. Something her videos don’t really portray. I remembered her videos and how she looked, how her body reacted to the pleasure of herself and the expression on her face as she climaxed. The fact that I knew that private side to her as she was standing not far from me was intoxicating... Now saying all that, these thoughts flashed by in a nanosecond as I walked passed her. I didn’t say anything to or even approached her. I wanted to remain respectful of her and her space. Plus I couldn’t just assume she’d appreciate a stranger coming up to her to praise her on her wonderful work on IFM. I do occasionally think back and wonder how she would’ve reacted if I had just respectfully said “Hi, you’re amazing on IFM. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.” and just went on my way.

Thank you to all of you beautiful women of IFM. Even though I’m happily engaged to my gorgeous lady, I still continue to be a member as I continue to be mesmerised by how different each contributor is during their most private moments.

FlyingChicken · 27-10-19 22:42:04

Mew wrote:

What the heck?! See that's what I mean - a dude who met you once made it his mission to out you (failing miserably lol) but what is with that attitude??!? So many people get outed to their entire family or everyone they know because some dildo that wasn't even friends with them in primary school made it their personal quest to TELL FUCKING EVERYONE like, "I know her, did you see her porn? Here it is on my phone I'll send it to you" fuck offff.

So many men are such wankers

Last edited by FlyingChicken (27-10-19 22:42:18)

SethKindra · 28-10-19 12:33:56

Catherine, I will be 33 next week. However I believe I was your age when I started watching IFM videos on and off. Ever since I've watched the first videos of IFM e.g. Liandrah Dahl, Strawberry, etc., I can't go to sleep without watching at least one video from this site. It's strange but I feel like a kid who wants a story before bedtime.

There are all these good points made out by all of you guys. But my own two cents is this:

On the occasion where I am in Australia and if I do bump into a contributor/s of IFM at the right moment I would find a way to show my appreciation and to tell them how much I appreciate not just what they do but what they are. I just love the way the site invites all kinds of women and produce this organic energy that wouldn't normally be found on any other sites. And I would tell them how much they mean to me and how it massages the soul, for a lack of better words.

viva · 29-10-19 04:40:03

After this thread I feel like we should do a contest and take one lucky member out to the (location revealing pub name deleted but you guys know where I mean) for a pint with all the HQ babes.

privignus · 29-10-19 21:18:25

Wow, Viva! And thanks for _hyperballad_ sharing her experience with people who go "they sexy. me not think that is how sexy should look. ooh! me bang them but be mean to them! then I have nookie and they know they bad for be sexy but look wrong!" Whether its homophobes who seek out quickies behind the local gay bar, or people who seek out big women but are passive-aggressive about their weight, or people who lust after porn stars while calling them sluts, there are a lot of people who hurt other people instead of talking over their stupid brain with a friend or a therapist!

Liandra Dahl, sigh :blush:

kirsty_a · 30-10-19 01:14:27

If a member came up to me in public, all polite and friendly, to let me know he'd seen me on IFM, I'd love it!

I appreciate it's not the easiest thing to do, but personally would love the opportunity to discuss the site from a fan's perspective.

It's also a massive turn on, appeals to that exhibitionist side as a reminder that someone's watching

@Catherine, great question, one I was curious about too!

_catherine_ · 30-10-19 02:33:27

VIVA!!! YES!!! Competition time woo!
Thanks for your contribution Seth You're such a committed fan I love it! It's so nice to hear people have started watching our content and never left!

And Kirsty_A I totally agree- I would love to meet a fan and hear all their thoughts, I'm so curious! The only time it might be a little odd would be if I was with my boyfriend and a fan came up to chat haha I don't think he would know what to think even though he's so supportive. I think though, meeting someone else who has seen me orgasm might even be a bit of a bonding experience? Who knows!

Miriam_R · 31-10-19 04:48:24

What kinda contest are we talking here Viva?
Maybe it could be along the lines of "who is she?" game of Mew's? Because we all enjoy that!

viva · 31-10-19 06:17:37

we'd have to charge entry and I think every entrant should also have to do BA!

smoothed · 31-10-19 10:16:13

i'd love to do BA! Except i'm a tad lazy and setting it up would take too much effort heh. I actually wish I go to Gentleman Handling when it was still around ... just come in and have everything be ready! Heh.

viva · 31-10-19 23:36:18

Hey smoothed it's not really that hard!

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