#1 16-05-16 07:30:08

viva

pretty pretty princess

Registered: 14-05-10

Posts: 4,113

Website

day jobs

thinking about working for money. today i modelled at the local art school downtown, which is a side gig of mine. It seems my whole life is a series of side gigs since I left feck, when I can find the inspiration and energy to work. Especially living in the US now, it seems like there's no point in selling your soul - nobody's really buying anyway. I found a place with really cheap rent, I don't eat a lot, and I lay low, waiting for the winds of fortune to blow my way.

But today I lay naked for 50 minutes in one position, naked and tortured. The flex through my side body grew more and more painful with every breath while students sketched me, but I endured it - for what? For $15/hr? It's hardly worth it. I recall with so much love all (ok most, nothing is perfect) my times masturbating for IFM, getting paid my worth to share my valuable image, body and vulnerability with the subscribers of this website, feeling so safe and supported, being paid for my pleasure. I remember the first time, doing Beautiful Agony, someone helping me set up a camera, so kind to me, footsteps walking away, the door slamming shut as if to say, you are in complete privacy, and knowing that it was literally my job right then to make myself feel as good as I possibly could, for as long as I could..  what  a sweet feeling....

I may not shoot for IFM again (Although I would love to - it's spring time here, Richard, I'd fill up a diary cam in a week!) but even if I don't get to, I will always know that work can be so good and so pleasurable, and I won't settle for less. Of course not every job can be laying around in a bed masturbating and looking beautiful, but no amount of money is worth my physical, emotional, or intellectual pain.

Here's a photo of me at the art school today, I dont know if this was a smile or a grimace of pain.

Monotreme

Member

Registered: 21-05-07

Posts: 763

Re: day jobs

My now-wife does this as well. I think it's an amazing and wonderful quality to be so in love with, and so in tune with, your body that you can let other people study it. I also know how physically demanding the work is.

Which is all to say you're an amazing soul and wonderful person to share this planet with.

Billm61

Member

Registered: 10-10-15

Posts: 53

Re: day jobs

Viva, that is a particularly good photo. You look very beautiful and vulnerable. I like the new haircut.

bateleur

Member

Registered: 14-12-15

Posts: 40

Re: day jobs

For this subscriber your words Viva are more than a sanity check, they are reminder of the joy that we are privileged to share while admittedly forgetting some of the sensibilities which underlie the euphoria we are privileged to experience. IFM is an amazing place especially since you have been part of it. Wishing you calming and gentle breezes to guide your ship to fortunate shores.

viva

pretty pretty princess

Registered: 14-05-10

Posts: 4,113

Website

Re: day jobs

Thanks my friends, it feels good to have a place to share my observations and words, and to feel seen and adored, it feels really good! I took a picture of myself feeling a lot more relaxed have no boys in my life to share it with so I thought I'd bring it here xx

Laney

Member

Registered: 25-03-13

Posts: 1,227

Website

Re: day jobs

Sleeping beauty <3

ThatIndividual

Member

Registered: 16-07-15

Posts: 347

Re: day jobs

If only every employer left people feeling similarly to how feck left viva.

bateleur

Member

Registered: 14-12-15

Posts: 40

Re: day jobs

In one word - lovely!