#1 01-01-16 00:19:51

badder

Member

Registered: 13-07-15

Posts: 2

Women who have difficulty orgasming

Hi there

I discovered this site a few months ago and as a heterosexual female have really enjoyed the many pages celebrating the female orgasm and sexuality which is so often overlooked and undermined. However, I will admit to finding these seemingly easy orgasms a bit intimidating and wondered if I am alone here? I would love nothing more than to have pleasure come to me easily, but sadly it doesn't work that way for all of us and I sometimes feel a bit inadequate and sad browsing these pages, wondering if I am not the norm?

richard

Administrator

Registered: 14-03-06

Posts: 3,395

Re: Women who have difficulty orgasming

Welcome to the Forum Badder.  The ladies who frequent this forum will have some responses to this I'm sure, but speaking as the producer I will say that everyone who contributes here has already done Beautiful Agony (www.beautifulagony.com) and is therefore not in front of (or should I say under) a camera for the first time.  And they would probably not have contributed to Agony if they didn't feel they could orgasm fairly reliably in this situation.  Consequently the responses you see here are a skewed representation of the wider community.  Some people haven't been able to complete, but putting those videos up for the sake of balance would be embarrassing for them, as you'd imagine.  I don't mean to sound defensive, more reassuring that what you're seeing here is not every woman's or even the majority experience!

badder

Member

Registered: 13-07-15

Posts: 2

Re: Women who have difficulty orgasming

Thanks for your reply Richard. I totally understand your point, of course it wouldn't be appropriate to post unsatisfying videos and in reality that's not what I want to see either. The irony!

Laney

Member

Registered: 25-03-13

Posts: 1,227

Website

Re: Women who have difficulty orgasming

I had no confidence in my ability to orgasm on camera before doing my BA, and  struggled to reach orgasm in my BA and first few IFM videos. The unedited footage from my studio IFM is about 45 minutes long. This reflected the difficulty I had reaching orgasm in my personal sex life at the time, due lack of experience and medication I was taking.

It wasn't until I filmed my video diary in 2013-2014 that I realized that the more control I feel I have over the sexual situation I'm in (whether it be masturbating alone, a shoot, or sex) the easier it is for me to relax and give myself permission to pursue sexual pleasure.  Learning to pay attention to how I feel in the moment and to act accordingly has made sex so much more fun and satisfying for me.

You might be interested in this video by sex educators Louise Boucher and Kate McCombs: How can I more easily have an orgasm?

I think Louise's opinion that "[having difficulty reaching orgasm] is only a problem if it's a problem for you: if you're experiencing pleasure and satisfaction in other ways, you don't really have a problem" is really healthy.  I saw her speak at a sex education workshop a couple of moths ago, where she reminded us that there is so much diversity between people in every aspect of sexuality.  Having orgasms easily is normal, struggling to reach orgasm is also normal .