#1 01-07-15 02:38:54

pole1cat

Member

Registered: 20-03-15

Posts: 111

Girl with a one track mind

Hi everyone,

Back in 2004 a young woman from the UK began blogging (under a pseudonym) about her personal masturbation, sort of like a written version of the video diaries here on IFM. I enjoyed the blog immensely, for reasons ranging from the obvious (I'm a young male who enjoys reading erotic things) to the less obvious (the discussion between the author and her readers which the blog generated was fascinating).

http://girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com

In 2006 she collected many of her entries into a book. An unfortunate result of the book being published was that her identity was made public through the tactics of (in her words) 'gutter journalism'.

When I read of this incident I was conflicted. On the one hand I was glad that Zoe Margolis' work was now being exposed (excuse the pun) to a wider audience. As per her website (http://www.zoemargolis.co.uk) she has been interviewed for (and written for) many newspapers internationally and has appeared on many panels, sharing her experiences and trying to give women more of a voice sexually. She is also an ambassador for a British sexual health charity.

But on the other, I was greatly saddened. Because of Zoe's standing in the film industry (she had risen to the rank of Assistant Director on various big-budget films) among other reasons, her ability to write candidly on her blog was much reduced.

I've thought about this for a while, and the key question I keep asking myself is 'why?' Not just why her privacy was invaded in such a way (see her blog and website for details) but why the journalists saw such a need for her to be outed.

Why can't we live in a world where women (or men for that matter) can blog about their sex lives (and have intelligent discussions with their readers) without the threat of being discovered and their identities splashed across the newspapers? Do journalists think that all we want to do is point and giggle and say "ooh look, famous people have orgasms!"

It just makes me sad ...

Thoughts?

pole1cat

Laney

Member

Registered: 25-03-13

Posts: 1,227

Website

Re: Girl with a one track mind

Why can't we live in a world where women (or men for that matter) can blog about their sex lives (and have intelligent discussions with their readers) without the threat of being discovered and their identities splashed across the newspapers? Do journalists think that all we want to do is point and giggle and say "ooh look, famous people have orgasms!"

People just get off on violating others, I think it's as simple as that. The journalists stand to gain by selling magazines or getting more hits to their website, and the audience gets to put an unwilling face to the sexy stories they've been reading and probably literally get off on that. It's the same thing behind the leak of celebrity nudes that happened last year, or revenge porn, or any other kind of sexual violation.

The bigger question is, why can't someone with high standing in the film industry (or anyone for that matter) share stories about their sex life without fear of judgement? Why does she have to hide her identity? I would like to live in a society where we don't constantly shame people for their sexuality, where people don't look down on porn stars or sex workers or people who blog about masturbation.

pole1cat

Member

Registered: 20-03-15

Posts: 111

Re: Girl with a one track mind

Hi Laney,

I guess I would advocate a two-step process. First, the possibility of dialogue about sexual matters, conducted anonymously, without fear of discovery. You said "and the audience gets to put an unwilling face to the sexy stories they've been reading and probably literally get off on that."

I can (of course) only speak for myself - I don't agree. I didn't get any more value from the blog after I knew who was writing it than before I knew. For me, the writer's honesty (and the audience discussions) were enough - I didn't need to know who anyone was.

My second step would be the ability to conduct such discussions (written, oral, visual etc.) without having to be anonymous. You asked "why does she have to hide her identity?" We might just as well ask why the contributors and subscribers/investors to IFM have to hide our identities through the use of pseudonyms (and, as per one of my previous posts, being careful who we tell). I would like to be able to tell people that I am an IFM investor but I am nervous about their reactions. Like you, Laney, I would like to live in a society where sexuality is not hidden or shameful, but I suspect this would require a pretty major paradigm shift. I can definitely say that IFM is a step in the right direction.

Cheers,

pole1cat

Laney

Member

Registered: 25-03-13

Posts: 1,227

Website

Re: Girl with a one track mind

I can (of course) only speak for myself - I don't agree. I didn't get any more value from the blog after I knew who was writing it than before I knew. For me, the writer's honesty (and the audience discussions) were enough - I didn't need to know who anyone was.

Maybe not for you, but can you imagine that the violating someone, whether through exposing their identity against their will, watching them naked or sharing private photos of them without their consent could be exciting to some people? Especially if they can do it without being held accountable. If no one was interested in knowing Zoe's identity, the articles exposing it wouldn't have been so popular.

You asked "why does she have to hide her identity?" We might just as well ask why the contributors and subscribers/investors to IFM have to hide our identities through the use of pseudonyms (and, as per one of my previous posts, being careful who we tell).

Yes, it's the same.

Thanks for linking to this blog, I will check it out when I have time .

pole1cat

Member

Registered: 20-03-15

Posts: 111

Re: Girl with a one track mind

Hi Laney,

Have you had a chance to check out the blog?

Cheers,

pole1cat

Laney

Member

Registered: 25-03-13

Posts: 1,227

Website

Re: Girl with a one track mind

I just read her three most recent entries and her '10 year anniversary' post. Her writing style is very pretty, I can understand how you got sucked into her blog. Would you recommend I start reading from the beginning?

pole1cat

Member

Registered: 20-03-15

Posts: 111

Re: Girl with a one track mind

Yes

pole1cat

ThatIndividual

Member

Registered: 16-07-15

Posts: 347

Re: Girl with a one track mind

Everytime I see this sort of thing...I can't help but think that we're a predator species. Our innate desire to hunt leaks through in so many "micro" ways - from driving too close to someone's bumper to "force" them to go faster; corporate office back stabbing/"politics"; and through to online bullying and so many other things.